


Don't Let Go

by genevieveyoung



Category: Grease AU - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, James Potter/Lily Evans - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 95,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10544006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genevieveyoung/pseuds/genevieveyoung
Summary: When summer's end separates them, they think they'll never see each other again. But when the first week of class arrives, it brings a big surprise. Can a summer fling become more than just summer lovin? / JPLE meets Grease AU





	1. Prologue: Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.

_**Prologue: Love Is a Many Splendored Thing** _

_"Two lovers kissed and the world stood still_

_Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing_

_Yes, true love's a many splendored thing"_

The smell of salt and brine were strong in the air, the roar of the ocean the dominant sound. Gulls cried overhead and children squealed as they chased one another down the sand. The sun was high in the sky, a golden halo surrounded by white puffs. Multicolored umbrellas were dotted along the beach like a color-by-number picture. Parents supervised their children as they splashed in the waves, and teenagers talked loudly as they blasted their speakers. The shrill cry of the lifeguard's whistle blew every few minutes, warning people not to go out too far in the water. There was a slight breeze, strong enough to keep sunbathers cool in the sun, but still warm and gentle. It was the perfect August day.

There was a boardwalk along the perimeter of the beach that separated the sand from the road, and a young man could be seen walking along the wooden planks. He was tall and lean, with a head of wild midnight hair, and navy swim trunks, a lifeguard logo on his left thigh. He walked slowly along the boardwalk, one hand in his hair, pulling at the strands. He paused, adjusting his sunglasses on his nose. He ignored all the people around him as he scanned the beach. He glanced down at his waterproof watch, checking the time. 11:50. He had ten minutes until his shift, but he just had to see her before she left.

He looked back up, head swiveling again. He pulled off his sunglasses, as if he thought he could see better without the black lenses. He couldn't find who he was looking for anywhere and he was starting to feel anxious. Suddenly, a flash of red crossed his vision, and he watched as a girl about ten paces from him sprinted toward the beach. She gripped the wooden railing in her pale hands and stood on tiptoes as she looked at the lifeguard stand. His lips pulled up into a grin as he watched her. She was wearing a pale yellow sundress that fluttered around her thighs in the breeze. She was barefoot, as always, and her beautiful wavy hair blew behind her like an auburn banner. He could picture her expression: brilliant almond-shaped green eyes glancing around anxiously, her small white teeth pulling at her pink lips. His grin grew even wider as he closed the distance between them.

She was so focused on scanning the beach that she didn't hear him come up behind her. She jumped when he wrapped his arms around her stomach, pulling her into his chest. He felt the tension leave her body as she realized who he was, and she leaned back into him. "Hi," she said, her voice soft.

"Hello," he replied, turning his head and kissing the side of her neck. She sucked in a small breath and he smirked as he rested his chin on top of her head.

"I was looking for you," she said, putting her hands over his. He flipped one of his hands over so that he could intertwine his fingers with hers.

"Found me," he said.

They stood stood there in silence for a while, just watching the waves hit the shore. Lily sighed softly, and he felt her tense up again. "What time is your shift?" she asked.

He glanced at his watch once more. "Seven minutes," he responded, burying his face in her hair. She smelt like rosemary and juniper.

She turned around to look at him, and he saw her eyes darken with sadness. He was sure the emotion was reflected in his own eyes. "We leave at noon," she said. "Dad wants to avoid traffic." He lifted a hand, brushing his knuckles over her cheekbone. His heart beat heavily in his chest as he stared into her emerald irises. She was so beautiful, it hurt to look at her sometimes. She leaned into his hand, and bit her lip, trying to keep herself from getting too emotional. "Oh James, what if we never see each other again?"

His hand moved to the back of her head, and he wove his fingers into the soft strands. "Don't talk like that Lil," he said, trying to keep his own uncertainty hidden from her. "We'll see each other again."

"But how do you know that?" she asked. She was losing the little control she had over herself, and her voice started to take on a hysterical edge. "You're going away to school, and my Dad is moving us abroad. What if-"

He gripped the back of her head, pulling her mouth to his and successfully cutting off her rant. She instantly melted into him, her fingers gripping his t-shirt and she pressed herself more firmly against him. His hands shifted so they trailed slowly, so slowly down her sides till they rested on her lower back. His mouth slowly moved over hers, drawing out the kiss. She met him kiss for kiss, pushing up on her toes to press her mouth more firmly against his. He tried to memorize the taste of her, the feel of her warm body against his, but all too soon the moment ended.

"Hey, Potter! Why don't you let Lily come up for air, and get your lazy arse down to the stand!" He recognized the voice of his stand partner, Joe.

He barely pulled away from Lily's mouth to reply. "Be there in a minute!" He put his mouth back on hers and Lily wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Lily!" This time she pulled away as her sister called for her. "Come on you freak! Dad wants to leave, and if you don't come _now_ , he'll end up coming to get you. Don't think he'd like discovering his _little angel_ isn't so sweet and innocent after all," Petunia spat bitterly.

James chuckled as he heard Lily growl low in her throat. "I'm coming, Tuney!" she called back, her voice a little hoarse, he smugly noted.

He turned over his shoulder to see Petunia glaring at them fiercely, but eventually, the blonde did turn and walk back to the house the Evans' were renting. He looked back at Lily, whose eyes were now filled with tears. He brushed away one that escaped, and felt his own melancholy overwhelm him. "I'm going to miss you so much," she whispered, her voice cracking.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest again. She buried her face in his shirt, shuddering slightly. "I'm going to miss you too," he replied, wrapping the ends of her hair around his palm.

She snorted and pulled back to look at him. She had a wry smile on her face as she spoke. "Sure," she said sarcastically. "With all the bikini clad girls around, you'll _never_ forget me."

"You're one to talk," he retorted, poking her in the side, and grinning when she squirmed. "You'll be getting wooed by French men left and right." He started speaking in a French accent. "Ma petite fleur, vous etês rayonnante comme le soleil."

Lily giggled, hitting his chest lightly, and opened her mouth to reply.

"Li-lyyyy!"

"Potter!"

Their names were cried at the same time, both in exasperation, and they winced simultaneously. "Guess that's our cue," Lily said.

He bent down and kissed her deeply, trying to make it last forever, but she pulled away too quickly for his liking. She brushed a hand through his hair, her eyes moving quickly over his face as she started to back away. Despite the August heat, he felt cold with Lily no longer in his arms.

"Goodbye James," she said. She kept walking backwards, eyes locked on his, until she reached where wood met asphalt and turned to face Petunia, who stood with her arms crossed over her chest, foot tapping impatiently.

He watched her disappear down the street and around the corner. "Goodbye Lily," he breathed, then turned to face the ocean. As he stared at the foam, he spoke a quiet plea to the wind. "We will see each other again."

He shook his head, feeling slightly ridiculous, and pulled himself away from the railing. He walked down the boardwalk and onto the beach toward the lifeguard stand to start his shift.


	2. Chapter I: Summer Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.

I. Summer Nights

_"Summer lovin' had me a blast_

_Summer lovin' happened so fast_

_I met a girl crazy for me_

_Met a boy cute as can be"_

James sighed as he stared up at the stone building that had been his home for the last seven years. He had a love-hate relationship with the castle. Despite being top of his class, James had no love for classes or homework. Hell, he'd probably skipped more classes than he'd attended. He wasn't too fond of the castle itself either, which was dull and gray looking, with one of the ramparts having caved in due to a siege during the Middle Ages that was never repaired. It was stifling in the summer but freezing in the winter due to a lack of proper insulation, and the building had a haunted feel to it late at night. He could also hardly stand the people he attended with. They were all the same, boring, unoriginal squares, wearing the same, boring, unoriginal clothing, and attending the same, boring, unoriginal parties. He couldn't wait until he graduated in the spring and was able to start his life.

But, though he'd never admit it, a part of James loved Hogwarts. While he didn't care much for his classes, he did like some of his professors, especially his English professor, Professor McGonagall, and found pride in the fact that he got top scores in all his courses without even trying. And sure, the castle was old and stuffy and smelled like mothballs, but there were tons of hidden tunnels and other secrets to be found out if only one knew where to look.

What James liked most about Hogwarts, though, were his three best friends. Together, the four of them made up the gang known as the Marauders. No other group in school even attempted to question their authority, and stares and whispers followed the four everywhere they went. They were known for causing the most mischief, throwing the best parties, and shagging the most girls - well, at least James and his best friend, Sirius, were. The four had meet when they were eleven, and had been close ever since.

James paused for a moment, staring up at the castle for another minute. In his mind, he was still at the beach, waves crashing against the shore, salt and brine in the air, and a beautiful redhead in his arms. He quickly pushed those thoughts away. "Showtime," he muttered under his breath, opening the car door and stepping out. He popped the trunk and pulled out his bag, before locking his car. He only had one bag, his other items having been sent ahead the week before. James quickly arranged his features, his usual smirk on his lips, swagger in his step, as he tossed his bag over his shoulder and left the student parking lot. Clumps of students were clustered on the front lawn, greeting one another after a summer of being apart. Classes wouldn't start until tomorrow, but there was the usual start of the year assembly later in the afternoon.

As usual, stares and whispers followed James as he made his way across the green. He glanced around, looking for any one of the other Marauders, grinning at the masses of giggling girls who always seemed to follow him.

He paused next to a statue of a lion, the school's mascot, and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He figured he'd have a smoke while he waited for his friends to show. He leaned against the base of the statue, letting his bag fall to the ground beside him, and took a long drag.

"Hi, James," said a breathy voice. James exhaled and turned to see a girl with curly blonde hair and a demure smile on her face. She looked young, maybe a fifth year, and he was impressed with her gumption; not only was she an underclassman approaching an upperclassman, but she was a girl approaching a Marauder. He could see her friends giggling and whispering a few feet away from them. He took another drag of his cigarette and glanced at the blonde. The top two buttons of her uniform were undone and he could just make out the curves of her generous chest. He exhaled and gave her a confident smirk.

"Hello," he said silkily.

"I'm Georgia," she offered, though he hadn't asked. He cocked an eyebrow.

"Nice to meet you, _Georgia_ ," he said, stubbing out his cigarette on the lion's hind leg and placing it behind his ear. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Can I help you?"

Georgia gave him a flirty grin, her eyes sparking with excitement. As he continued to watch her, he found himself thinking her blue eyes were rather dull and boring, and he'd never been a fan of blondes. Now red hair, brilliant green eyes, and a kind smile; _that_ was a bird James could appreciate.

He felt a spike in his chest as he pictured Lily as he'd last seen her, in her yellow sundress and bare feet, but he quickly chased those thoughts away. He couldn't afford to think about her now.

He blinked and came back to himself. He noticed Georgia staring at him expectantly and realized she'd said something. "What?"

Georgia's smile faltered a little but she covered it up and opened her mouth to repeat herself. James was saved from having to hear what she was going to say.

"Prongs!"

James looked over his shoulder to see the rest of the Marauders making their way over to him. Sirius Black was leading the way, his trademark smirk, sunglasses, and leather jacket all present. Behind him scurried Peter Pettigrew, a huge grin on his face. And behind him came Remus Lupin, heavy messenger bag thumping against his side, and wearing an exasperated look at Peter's enthusiasm, though he too was smiling.

"See ya 'round, Georgia," James said without a backward glance.

He met his friends halfway. "See you're already making the rounds,"Sirius said with a nod in Georgia's direction. He slapped James on the back, grinning.

James shrugged, smirking at his best friend. "What rounds? The birds flock to me."

"Prongs! You gotta see the piece of crap Padfoot got this summer," Peter said, earning himself a smack upside the head by the owner of said piece of crap.

"Shut up, Wormtail," Sirius growled, irritated. "I don't see you riding a bike that doesn't have training wheels," he turned to James. "You gotta see her. She's _classic_ , vintage 1963. Just needs a new engine and some elbow grease, and she'll be good as new." Peter snorted. Sirius had a thing for motorcycles, and had been saving up to buy one to work on for months.

"How was your summer James?" Remus asked, ignoring the other two's bickering. "Still lifeguarding at the beach?"

James nodded. "And made myself a pretty penny doing so."

"How was the scene there?" Sirius asked, pushing his sunglasses atop his head. "Birds all over you?"

James grinned. "Like bees to honey." Remus rolled his eyes again while Peter and Sirius nodded appreciatively. James hesitated, his hand automatically moving to his hair. "There was this one bird," he started cautiously. When he noticed his friends watching him curiously, he hurried to make his tone casual. "She was pretty cool."

"You shag her?" Peter asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

James felt irritation pulse through him. "God, Wormtail, is that all you think about?" He felt slightly bad when he noticed Peter's wince, but mainly he felt defensive of Lily. He didn't want his friends talking about her like she was a one-and-done type of girl; Lily was the forever type.

"Whatever. Don't be such a pussy, Wormtail," Sirius said, putting his sunglasses back on. "Let's go to the dining hall. I'm starving."

* * *

Lily stared up at the castle. It was massive, ten times bigger than any other school she'd seen. It was absolutely beautiful with its stone façade, caved in rampart, and massive green area. It looked like something out of a fairytale, complete with flags whipping in the breeze from the highest tower. "Deep breaths," she whispered to herself. Her fingers automatically sought out her necklace, and she squeezed it as she forced her legs to move.

There were clumps of kids clustered all over the front lawn chatting in groups. Lily noted that there appeared to be the usual cliques from movies and books - geeks, popular kids, jocks - and that they all stuck to their respective groups, glaring at any outsiders who got too close. It intimidated her, and made her wonder which group she'd get clumped into. She tried not to let the idea of always being an outsider overwhelm her.

Lily paused beside a statue of a lion and dug through her bag for her iPhone. She figured she could pretend she was texting someone so she wouldn't have to look anyone in the eye. Her phone, of course, was at the very bottom of her bag, so she set it down on the base of the statue to properly dig through it.

"-can't believe you talked to him!" Lily looked up at the sound of voices. Through the lion's legs she noticed a group of girls who looked to be around fifteen. They were all staring at one girl in particular. She had curly blonde hair and a half-awed, half-smug look on her face.

"I know," she said, her voice filled with amazement. She blinked and smirked at her friends. "I know," she repeated with more confidence.

"What did he say?" Lily went back to digging in her bag, though she continued to eavesdrop. She could remember giggling with her friends from the swim club like this.

"He asked for my name and said nice to meet you," the blonde supplied. Lily held back a snort as the girl's friends all squealed.

"Did he say yes when you asked him to the dance?"

Lily finally found her phone and pulled it out, sneaking a peak at the girls again. The blonde looked irritated. "No," she sighed. "His friends showed up before I could."

Lily finished reloading her bag as she caught the tail end of the girls' conversation. "I can't believe you actually talked to _James_!" Lily had her bag on her shoulder, about to walk away, but she paused at the name. She glanced back over at the group of girls but they had all moved on.

She leaned against the base of the statue, waiting for her heart to return to its normal pace. As it had all summer, her body instantly reacted to the sound of James' name; her heartbeat sped up, her nerves jolted through her body, and her hands started shaking. She heard the sound of his laughter in her ears, pictured his crooked half smile that had always made her melt. She quickly pushed James out of her mind - Not that he went very far. He never did. - and adjusted her bag on her shoulder before marching up the front steps and through the large marble doors. She didn't need the distraction today.

She had to ask a few people where to go before she finally found what served as the front office. Lily guessed it must have been a study at one time, with the walls lined with floor to ceiling bookshelves and the massive mahogany desk. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, still using candles to provide light. The bookshelves contained ancient looking tomes, and Lily had an urge to go over and run her fingers over the spines, just to see if she could feel the secrets the pages surely contained. She walked over to the mahogany desk where an elderly woman was sitting and gave her name. The secretary went over Lily's schedule with her and some of the basic school rules. As a seventh year, Lily would get privileges to leave the grounds on weekends to visit the small village nearby. Curfew was at 10:00 pm on weekdays, 11:00 pm on weekends, and males and females were expected to stay in their respective dormitories after curfew.

"You'll be staying in the Gryffindor wing, dear. That's on the upper east level. Ravenclaw is upper west, Slytherin lower west, and Hufflepuff lower east," the secretary said.

Lily stared at the elderly woman, dumbfounded. It sounded like she'd just spoken gibberish. The old woman looked at her pityingly. Another girl walked into the office then. "Oh Alice. Good!" the secretary said to the girl. Lily noted that she was very pretty, with kind eyes and a pixie cut. "Would you mind showing Miss Evans to her dormitory? She's in the Gryffindor wing like you."

"Sure," Alice said, smiling at Lily. "Just wanted to drop off my forms." Alice handed the secretary a piece of paper.

Lily thanked the secretary then followed Alice out into the hall. "I'm Alice Prewitt, by the way," Alice said as she started down the long corridor lined with old paintings and portraits at a leisurely pace.

"Lily Evans," Lily replied. "Are you a seventh year as well?"

"Yup. Seven _long_ years," Alice grinned at Lily from over her shoulder. "Where are you from?"

"Well, originally Cokeworth, then Switzerland for a year or two, but my family just moved to France, so I guess Paris right now," Lily replied.

"Bit of a vagabond, eh?" Alice teased.

"I guess so," Lily smiled shyly. "My father's company moves him around a lot."

"Cool," Alice said before launching into tour guide mode as they made their way up the staircase. "So, there are five floors and two main wings to the castle. All classes take place on the ground floor, then come the dormitory levels. Student dormitories are on the second and third floors and the professors get the fourth. So, on the second floor are the Slytherin and Hufflepuff dormitories, and on the third floor are the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw dormitories. The only one you really need to worry about is Gryffindor. That's third floor, east wing. Got that?"

"Third floor, east wing," Lily repeated. "Got it. What's with the weird names?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "I know. They're ridiculous but they're named after the four founders." Alice stopped in the middle of a corridor. There were doors on both sides of the hall. "Boys are to the right, girls to the left," Alice pointed to the respective sides of the hall. "You'll be in the seventh year girls' dorm, and that's this one," Alice slapped the door next to her. "All your stuff should've been brought up already and there's a bathroom in there if you wanna go wash up."

A door across the hall, on the boys' side, opened and out walked a tall, muscular guy. "Hey babe," he said to Alice, bending down to give her a kiss. "You looking for me?"

"Nope, just giving Lily a tour. She's new," Alice replied, pointing to the redhead. "Lily, this is my boyfriend, Frank."

"Hey. What's up?" Frank said, smiling kindly at Lily.

"Hi," Lily smiled back.

"What are you up to?" Alice asked her boyfriend.

"Coach wants me to spread the word about practice times. Don't know why he couldn't make the captain do it," Frank grumbled.

"Frank plays football," Alice informed Lily. "Our team is gonna be unbeatable this year."

"You should come check us out sometime," Frank said.

"Yeah, especially since you can _actually_ check them out," Alice winked. "Their uniforms are _quite_ flattering."

"Alice Prewitt, are you checking out other men?" Frank asked, faux angry.

"Always," Alice replied with a flirty smile.

Lily excused herself to go to the bathroom while the couple play-bickered. When she returned, Frank was gone. "Ready for lunch?" Alice asked her, hooking her arm through Lily's "I'm starving."

* * *

James leaned against against the railing on top of the bleachers as he stared at the turf below him. He was already mapping out plays to discuss with Coach Hooch later. He took a drag of his cigarette, vaguely registering the chatter of the other Marauders on the bleachers below him.

"Ugh! Wormtail, get that away from me," Sirius groaned. "You know how much I hate baloney."

"Awww, come on Padfoot. It's so good."

"I swear to God, Wormtail, you get any closer-"

"Sirius, why don't you go stand by Prongs if you're going to light up. Peter… go sit over there. That sandwich smells disgusting," Remus cut in.

"Yes, _Mother_ ," Sirius grumbled as he moved to stand by James. He smacked James in the shoulder, pulling his long hair into a bun at the nape of his neck. "Did you see McKinnon? Man, was she looking fine."

James rolled his eyes. He'd dated fellow seventh year Marlene McKinnon on-and-off last year a few times, but ended things right before the school year ended. He knew Sirius was trying to gauge his reaction, trying to find out if James would be okay with Sirius going after Marlene.

"I'm sure," James replied casually. "Just a heads up, she's pretty hot and cold. Just watch what you say, 'cause one minute you're snogging, and the next she's screaming your ears off."

"Feisty," Sirius said with a wide grin. "I like that." James rolled his eyes again.

"Potter!" James turned and saw Frank Longbottom making his way over to the bleachers.

"Hey Frank," James called, tossing away his cigarette butt and making his way down to Frank. "'Sup?"

"Hooch wanted me to tell you she's starting practice Wednesday after classes are done," Frank grinned at James as he spoke. "Why she's not having her _captain_ do this, I haven't the slightest," he said pointedly.

James grinned back. "It's below my pay grade," he replied, patting his teammate on his head.

"How's Alice, Frank?" Remus called.

"She's good. Was showing around some new bird today. She's a Gryffindor. Our year."

"Yeah?" Sirius perked up the way he always did when the opposite sex was involved. "And?"

Frank's grin grew wider. "Smoking," he said. "Al would kill me if she knew how many times I've fantasized about her legs already."

Sirius groaned appreciatively and even James perked up slightly. Maybe he'd found himself a distraction from a certain redhead.

"Speaking of birds," Peter piped up. "I wanna hear about the one James met at the beach."

"Nah, you don't," James said quickly, though he tried to hide his reluctance with a casual wave.

There were cries of protest and finally James held up his hands to shut them up. "Fine, fine!"

He dragged a hand through his hair, and plopped down on the bleachers. The cool metal soaked through his trousers. "What do you want to know?"

"How'd you guys meet?" Remus asked.

James smirked. "I was on the stand when I noticed this girl in the water. She was doing one of those fancy swimmer strokes, breaststroke or butterfly or whatever, and she got caught in the rip current. I went out to bring her in," James paused, remembering how Lily had fought him the entire time, and yelled at him in front of the entire beach, claiming she'd had everything under control before storming off. He hadn't heard much of her rant, too busy staring at how her one piece bathing suit hugged her curves, and how the sun reflected off her dripping hair. He'd been instantly hooked. "Later that night, Joe and I were on the pier and I saw her on line to buy popcorn, so I invited her to a bonfire on the beach." She'd turned him down at first, still angry about the save, but then they just kept seeing each other, and eventually he wore her down and got her to go on a date with him. He pictured Lily's reluctant smile when she'd finally said yes, and how she'd given him a genuine smile when he walked her home. "Next thing I know, we're snogging under the dock." He made it sound as if it had all happened in one night, but Lily had made him work for that kiss, and man had it been worth it. The feel of her lips against his, the soft strands of her hair slipping through his fingers, her chest pressed against his…

He looked at the four boys with him. They were all watching him expectantly. He knew they thought he'd shagged Lily - Lord knew it'd happened enough in the past - but the truth was they hadn't. He'd sensed that Lily had wanted to take things slow, and if James was being brutally honest, he'd admit he hadn't put up much of a fight. Just snogging Lily had been more than enough to drive his body crazy; he couldn't image what shagging her would be like.

"Well, how was it? How was she?" Sirius pressed.

Her laughter echoed in his ears, his fingers remembered the feel of her smooth skin, and his lips tingled at the thought of what kissing Lily was like. She was soft and, warm, and responsive. "Brilliant. Mind-blowingly good," James said. "It's a summer I'll never forget."

* * *

Lily followed Alice across the lawn. Meals were served in the dining hall on the first floor. At lunch time, Alice explained, students were offered a selection of food to pick from, almost buffet style. After making their selections, Alice led Lily through a door in the back of the room and outside. The old stable house had been converted into an amphitheater, and some students sat there with their lunches. Picnic tables were scattered on the outskirts of the stables, which were located next to the turf, and Lily spotted some more students mulling around there. There were students all over the place talking, throwing rugby balls back and forth, eating, and Lily was slightly daunted by all the noise and activity. Alice was talking about various people in their year and Lily tried to pay attention but was having a hard time following.

Alice led her to a picnic table where three girls were already sitting. "Hey guys!" Alice called to the girls.

"Hey Al!" called back a girl with golden blonde hair. It fell to her shoulders and framed her face nicely.

"That's Emmeline," Alice informed Lily, setting down her food and taking a seat next to a girl with light brown hair. She turned to the rest of the table. "This is Lily. She just moved here from Paris."

"Hi," the girl next to Alice said. "I'm Dorcas. Nice to meet you." She spoke like she was sounding out the words to a six year old.

Lily smirked as she replied. "Nice to meet you too."

"Oh, you're English," Dorcas said, sounding a little disappointed. Lily chuckled as Alice frowned.

"What a great greeting, Dor," she said sarcastically. Dorcas stuck out her tongue.

"That's Marlene," Alice pointed to the girl across from Lily. She was leaning back in her chair watching Lily with some hostility, making it clear that Lily was an outsider in her eyes. Lily noticed that Marlene was very beautiful, with long chocolate brown hair, high cheekbones, and dark eyes. "She's gonna ignore you because she's too cool for anyone."

Marlene snorted, sitting upright. "No need to get hostile Al," Marlene said, her voice a little scratchy sounding.

"Then don't just sit there like a mute. Introduce yourself," Alice retorted, stabbing a piece of lettuce with her fork.

"Why should I when you do it for me?" Marlene replied. She turned to Lily. "So you're from Paris, huh? What made you come here?"

Though Marlene intimidated her, Lily liked her blunt way of talking and direct manner. "My dad's company transferred him to the Paris office, but I wanted to go to an actual school for my last year."

"You're homeschooled?" Marlene said it like that clarified everything about Lily as a person.

"Yes. My sister and I had a tutor…" Lily replied hesitantly. Marlene sat back in her seat looking superior.

There was a short silence during which Alice glared at Marlene and Lily quietly picked at her lunch. "So, Lily, what did you do this summer?" Emmeline asked.

Instantly images of James's smile and wild hair filled her mind and she felt her cheeks heat up. "I went to the beach," she replied.

"Oh, there's a boy involved in this!" Emmeline said excitedly, leaning toward the redhead. "Tell us all about him."

Lily felt her cheeks heat further as Dorcas and Alice looked at her interestedly. "He's just a boy," Lily replied shyly. A part of her was dying to tell the other girls all about James - Petunia had wanted nothing of it - while another part of her wanted to keep him close to herself.

"With that blush he ain't!" Dorcas said around the apple she was taking a bite of.

Lily grinned. No, he really wasn't just any boy, was he? "Well, what do you want to know?"

"How old is he and what does he look like?" Emmeline asked.

"Does he have a car?" Dorcas cut in.

"He's seventeen, and he's tall, dark, and extremely handsome," Lily said, her grin growing wider as the other girls giggled. "And I'm not sure if he has a car."

"How'd you meet?" Alice asked, leaning on her elbow.

Lily brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she got lost in her memories. "He's a beach lifeguard and he thought I'd gotten caught in a rip current when I was practicing my breast stroke. So he came in and grabbed me around the waist and just started dragging me in. I was so angry; he looked so proud of himself." Lily thought about his smug smirk after he'd pulled her out of the water and the way the droplets had looked on his tan chest, and how he had asked her, "How about a kiss for saving your life?". She'd wanted to simultaneously hit him and snog him senseless, but she'd settled for screaming her head off and storming away. "Then we just kept bumping into each other, and he continually asked me out. Finally, I said yes just to get him to leave me alone. He took me bowling, which I thought was extremely lame at first, but it was the most fun I've ever had on a first date." Lily had probably never laughed harder in her whole life than on that date. She remembered the feel of his callused hand in hers on the walk home, and the next day, when he had finally kissed her under the dock. "After that we spent almost all of our free time together," Lily finished.

"So romantic," Emmeline sighed. Lily noticed that Alice, Emmeline, and Dorcas all looked wistful while Marlene looked unconvinced.

"You spent all that time together and he didn't try anything?" she asked skeptically.

Lily shrugged. "I mean, we snogged, but he never asked for anything more," she replied honestly. Lily knew she probably would've said no to sex, but as she remembered the way James had kissed her under the dock, his mouth hot and urgent against hers, his hands moving up and down her sides, she probably would've been open to other things had he tried.

"That's strange," Marlene snorted, looking at Lily like she was the strange one.

"I think he was just trying to be a gentleman," Lily defended. Marlene still looked unconvinced.

"What was his name, Lily?" Dorcas asked.

Lily looked down at the worn plastic of the table, and wrote his name on it with her finger. "James. James Potter."

She missed the shocked looks the other four girls exchanged. Marlene's eyes flashed furiously for a moment before gleaming maliciously. "You know, Lily," she started, ignoring Alice's warning glare as the redhead looked up at her with big bright green eyes. "I have a feeling you'll see him again."

"You think so?" Lily asked, trying to hide the hopefulness in her voice.

"Yes. I do," Marlene said firmly. "I think you'll see him sooner than you think."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and maybe caught on to some of the similarities I tried to make to Grease. I just wanted to make a character list, so this way you can all see who I picture as who's who. Have a good week!
> 
> xoxo Evie
> 
> James: Danny
> 
> Lily: Sandy
> 
> Sirius: Kenickie
> 
> Marlene: Rizzo
> 
> Alice: Frenchie
> 
> Frank: Doody
> 
> Emmeline: Marty
> 
> Peter: Sonny
> 
> Dorcas: Jan
> 
> Remus: Putzie


	3. Chapter II: Look at Me, I'm Lilll-eee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.
> 
> Author's Note: I just want to point out that when reading this one part (you'll find out soon enough) the ... mean a shift in POV.

II. Look at Me, I'm Lilll-eee

_"Just keep your cool_

_Now you're starting to drool_

_Hey Fongool, I'm Sandra Dee!"_

The week passed rather quickly for Lily as she fell into the pattern of things. She liked her professors, but they expected maximum effort from their pupils. She got along well with Alice, and even Dorcas and Emmeline, though Marlene continued to be cold and distant. She even tried out for the girls' field hockey team. She still got lost trying to find her classes and dormitory, but she usually had someone with her to guide her around.

Friday arrived quickly enough and with it came the pep rally. All the students were buzzing with excitement, especially with the rumors of how good the football team was supposed to be this year.

Lily was excited herself. She wondered if the rally would be anything like in the movies. As a member of an athletic team, Lily was required to go in uniform, but she wouldn't actually be taking part in the festivities. The rally was being held after classes and there would be a bonfire after dinner.

The professors had a hard time getting anyone to pay attention in all of Lily's classes that day, and eventually gave up, giving the students a homework free weekend.

"Ugh! I will punch the next pair of pom-poms who squeals in my ears," Marlene growled during lunch after a particularly excited group of cheerleaders passed their table.  
"I'm pretty excited," Lily piped up. "I've never been to a pep rally before."

Marlene pretended like she hadn't even spoke. "This is such a waste of time," she grumbled. "I could be doing so many other things."

"Like what? Homework?" Alice asked derisively.

"The rally itself is kinda boring, especially when all the coaches make their speeches, but the bonfire after is usually pretty fun," Dorcas said.

"Plus, we get to see Prongs in his uniform," Emmeline said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Lily had heard that nickname before, in connection to some group called the Marauders. She had been hearing all sorts of whispers about them. From what she gathered, they were a group of seventh year boys. It sounded like most of the school treated them like gods, if the way girls sighed and boys grumbled jealously was any indicator. She had yet to meet one of them, but she found herself rather curious.

Lily noticed Marlene had glanced at her at the mention of the Marauders, but she couldn't begin to guess why. "Yeah," Marlene drew out the word. "Tonight might be… interesting."

* * *

James changed into his uniform quickly so he could have a smoke before the pep rally. He hated having to attend the rally, but he knew he was already on thin ice with Hooch. He had attended three of his classes total in the past week and Hooch had threatened to bench him if he missed the rally. He was fairly certain the coach was bluffing, but he decided not to press his luck.

He grabbed his pack and lighter, and slipped out the side door to the locker room. He leaned against the stone wall and pulled out a cigarette.

"Hey Potter."

James looked up to see Marlene McKinnon reclining against the wall a few feet to his right. "McKinnon," he said curtly.

Marlene held out her hand for the pack. He passed it over and after lighting his own, passed over the lighter as well. They smoked in silence for a while. He could feel Marlene's eyes on him, though he kept his on the playing fields. Students were slowly starting to fill the metal bleachers, and a podium was standing in the middle of the field for the coaches to speak into.

"I always did like you in your uniform," Marlene said. James turned his head to see her leering at him appreciatively.

"Mar…" James warned.

"What? I can't ogle your body?" she asked, raising her hands in surrender.

"I told you before the summer that we can't do this anymore," James sighed.

"Why not?" Marlene whined, taking a step closer to him. "We were good together."

"Mar, no."

"Why not James?" Marlene repeated, frustrated.

"I'll admit," James began cautiously. "We had our good _moments_ -"

"See!"

"No! I don't see!" He ran an agitated hand through his hair. "Jeez, Mar. We fought all the time, and when we weren't fighting, all we did was shag. That's not a real relationship."

"I thought that's all we were supposed to be anyways. Friends with benefits," Marlene said, watching him cautiously. _Shit._ "I thought you didn't want a real relationship."

James took a drag while he tried to organize his thoughts. "I didn't then, but maybe I do now… And you and me, we can't do a real relationship."

He saw something flash in her dark eyes, a malicious fury that was gone as quickly as it appeared. "Why?" she asked, her voice cold.

Brilliant green eyes and warm laughter echoed in his mind, but he quickly pushed them away. "We just can't, Mar."

They stood there in heavy silence and James turned his gaze back toward the stands. He didn't want to hurt Marlene, but he knew it would be unfair to pick things up again if he kept imagining another girl. After a few more minutes of tense silence, James stubbed out his cigarette and made to go inside. "I should go. Hooch'll probably be calling us soon."

"Yeah, I gotta go too," Marlene said. James turned to look at her and caught sight of Marlene's usual mask of indifference. "I really just wanted to come up here to say I've got a surprise for you at the bonfire."

"Mar," James warned again, but she held up a reassuring hand.

"No, just trust me. I _promise_ you'll love it." She turned and left, leaving James with a feeling of unease.

* * *

Lily breathed a sigh of relief. It had been two long hours of inspirational speech after inspirational speech, each one more unoriginal than the last. It was like someone took her from real life and placed her in _Remember the Titans._

She wove her way through the mass of students. Alice had said to meet under the bleachers after the rally. All the students had been dismissed at the same time, everyone heading for the dining hall to grab a bite to eat before the bonfire, so Lily was having a hard time getting through.

Someone bumped into her from behind and she yelped as she slammed into the back of the person in front of her. "Oh my god, I am so sorry," she stammered as the person in front of her stopped and turned.

"Don't worry about it," the bloke replied as he grinned down at her. He had light brown hair and blue eyes, and was wearing a football uniform. "I always make exceptions for pretty girls."

Lily flushed and smiled shyly at the boy. "Amos Diggory," he said, ignoring the irritated grumbles of the students around them.

"Lily Evans," Lily replied.

"You must be new here. I would've remembered you," Amos said, giving her a wide grin.

"I started on Monday," Lily explained, trying not to fidget.

"Looks like Hogwarts lucked out," Amos replied. Lily flushed again and he continued. "Since you're new and all, you probably need someone to show you around. I could fill you in on life at Hogwarts during the bonfire," he offered.

"Oh, um, that's very nice," Lily replied, brushing a strand behind her ear. "But I'm actually supposed to meet a friend."

"That's too bad," Amos said, sounding genuinely disappointed. "Hope to see you around, Lily. Good luck with your season."

"You too," Lily said. Amos winked at her before following the rest of the crowd to the stables. Lily grinned to herself and continued on her way to the back of the bleachers.

Lily met up with Alice and the other girls under the bleachers. Lily felt like Marlene was watching her with particular interest, but the girl's expression was so impassive, it was hard to tell for certain.

"If I knew the uniforms looked like that, I might've joined field hockey when I first got here," Emmeline said, fingering the spandex skirt that fell about mid-thigh.

The girls started making their way to the stables where they ate a quick dinner before hurrying off to the bonfire. Emmeline and Dorcas tittered about each guy that passed them, while Alice kept a constant eye out for Frank. Meanwhile, much to Lily's suspicion, Marlene fell back to walk with her. While Marlene hadn't been outright rude or mean to Lily in the past week, her subtle insults and passive aggressive comments had left Lily with little doubt of the brunette's dislike of her.

"You should wear your hair down Lily," Marlene said, pulling Lily's hair from its French braid. "It frames your face so beautifully."

"Oh, um, thanks," Lily muttered, running her fingers through tangled her hair.

"Don't mention it," Marlene replied. Lily watched her pull ahead and whisper something in Emmeline's ear.

The girls all stopped on the left playing field where the bonfire had been set up. Some of the professors stood around passing out supplies for s'mores while students moved around the giant wood pile. Lily could feel the heat on her cheeks even from the very outskirts of the circle around it. She watched the flames pierce the sky, a dance of blue and white near the wood and yellow, red, and orange on the top.

Alice linked her arm through Lily's and pulled her after Marlene. Dorcas came up on Lily's other side and grinned. "What are you guys doing?" She felt Alice brush some of her hair behind her ear while Dorcas squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"It's time to meet the Marauders," Dorcas said, widening her eyes dramatically. That caught Lily's attention and she felt her curiosity rise to a high point. They made it sound like she was meeting the Queen. Lily allowed herself to get pulled along…

…James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Frank all stood on the very outskirts of the circle around the bonfire, near the boundary of the forest. They passed around a bottle of whiskey Sirius had found in the chemistry teacher's desk.

James had been unable to think about anything except Marlene and her 'surprise' all throughout the pep rally. He knew Marlene better than most and he could tell she was up to something. He took a swig of whiskey when the bottle was passed to him, and he found his mind wandering to Lily. He wondered if she ever thought about him or whether she'd already met some French bloke.

"Hey Prongs." James turned when Sirius smacked his shoulder and saw Marlene standing a few feet from him.

"Oh, Potter!" she called sweetly.

"Yes, McKinnon," he mocked.

"Ready for your surprise?" She jerked her head, indicating that he should follow her.

James glanced around at his friends before following Marlene. She was walking toward where her group of friends all stood, their backs to the approaching group. When the girls noticed James, they all moved aside, revealing…

…" _Lily_?"

Lily felt her blood stop in her veins at the sound of her name. She _knew_ that turned so quickly she nearly lost her balance. She regained her footing only to nearly lose it again as her eyes laid on the person who'd said her name.

"James?" She felt her face break into a wide grin as she took a step closer to him. _This has to be a dream._

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his eyes wide as he stared at her. She vaguely registered that he was in an athletic uniform, but mainly her eyes were drinking in his face. "I thought you were moving to France?"

"I convinced my father to let me stay," she breathed. She was aching to touch him and wrap her arms around him and breathe in his familiar scent. "I didn't know you went to Hogwarts! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Aw, I just-" he stopped talking abruptly and she noticed he had tensed.

"James?" She took another step toward him, her hand outstretched, but he backed away.

"I didn't want you to look me up." His tone changed dramatically from enthused amazement to cocky indifference. She felt the beginning of an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

"I…I…"Lily had no clue what to say. Her fingers instinctively went for her necklace.

"I mean, come on Lil, we both knew this was just a summer fling. Once and done."

Lily found it hard to breathe. All she could do was stare up at the boy who'd held her like he'd never let her go and hear his words that the summer had meant nothing to him…

…"You…you _lied_ to me?"

James felt his heart tear in two as he watched Lily stare at him with a horrified expression. He wanted to rush to her and pull her warm body into his arms and tell her he was the lie, not the summer. The summer had been the realest moment of his life. _She_ was the realest thing. But he was too keenly aware of everyone watching this exchange, and he couldn't…

"Don't tell me you actually thought things would continue?" he heard himself ask incredulously. He felt as if he was watching everything from above. "You were moving to France. This isn't some fairytale Lil. Come on; be real."

He watched her eyes turn cold and furious, and he cheered internally. Anything, but her tears. "You're pathetic," she spat. "You're pathetic and a liar and I regret every minute I spent with you!" she yelled. She took another step toward him, her voice low and dangerous. "You stay the fuck away from me, James Potter." She shot him a furious look before spinning and sprinting away.

It took everything in him to keep from going after her. "You are _such_ an arse." James looked to see Alice Prewitt glaring up at him.

"Al," he heard Frank start to say, but Alice cut him off.

"I'm going after Lily," Alice said. She shot James another furious look. "Stay away from her," she threatened, then ran after the redhead.

Slowly, Emmeline Vance and Dorcas Meadows turned away, both shooting him nasty looks as they went.

"Hope you enjoyed your gift," Marlene said, a satisfied gleam in her eye as she stepped forward and patted his chest. He grabbed her forearm and dug his fingers in.

"You're a bitch," he growled in an undertone. He wasn't sure if he was angrier at Marlene for setting him up or at himself for the way he treated Lily.

Marlene's eyes flashed as she ripped her arm from his grip. "That may be true, but I didn't just humiliate and crush a girl's heart in front of other people," she hissed, spinning and walking away.

* * *

Lily ran blindly, no specific destination in mind, just _away_. Her mind kept tormenting her, playing James's words over and over and over again. She had never seen that side of him before: so cold and distant, that stupid smirk of his that she'd loved from this summer cold and cruel on his face.

She finally stopped running near the boundary to the forest on the edge of the left playing field. It was forbidden to go into the forest, but Lily didn't care much about the rules as she wandered in. She found a fallen tree still within the light from the bonfire, and collapsed on it, burying her face in her lap as sobs rocked her body.

Lily hated to cry. She could count on her fingers the number of times in her life she had cried this hard; most recently it had been at her mother's funeral. Her heart had broken then just as it had broken now. Still, crying made Lily feel weak and frail, and she did her best to hold back her tears. She was unsuccessful.

Her mind couldn't process the situation. It kept replaying moments from the summer on a loop. Each smile, and kiss, and warm embrace. Every laugh, and reassurance, and promise. They all felt broken, and false, like finding a treasure chest filled with coins only to realize later on it was all fool's gold.

She took a deep breath, her body shuddering violently. She was feeling the cool air now that she was no longer near the heat from the bonfire flames, and her uniform jersey did nothing to keep her warm. She wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her hands up and down her arms, trying not to remember how warm James's body had been every time he'd held her. It made her feel worse, made her chest feel heavier. It was like she'd been sucker punched and stabbed in the heart simultaneously.

"Lily?"

Lily shot to her feet, skittering like a frightened doe. A small, pathetic part of her hoped it was James, coming to apologize, but the voice was female. She glanced around the clearing, and noticed Alice's outline through the trees. She briefly considered running further into the woods, but Alice stepped closer to her, and Lily knew her escape time was up. Neither girl spoke for a moment. Lily watched as Alice took in Lily's tears and shuddering body. Lily looked away before she could see the pity in the other girl's eyes.

Lily's mind ran over the scene again. She remembered how Alice and Marlene had fussed over her appearance, and the way the girls had reacted when Lily mentioned James's name at lunch. She felt the ice in her veins melt as fire spread through her. She looked back at Alice, who had moved closer to Lily's log. "You knew." It wasn't a question, but a statement spat out with an edge.

Alice paused. She looked down at the fallen leaves under her feet briefly before meeting Lily's gaze directly. "About James attending school here, yes."

Lily felt her face flame up and she clenched her hands into fists at her sides. "Why didn't you tell me?" she hissed.

Alice took a cautious step forward, her expression honest. "Marlene wanted to surprise you. We had no clue he would react the way he did, especially after the way you talked about how he acted this summer."

Lily's eyes moved over Alice's face, looking for a trace of a lie, but she didn't spot any. She deflated, slumping back down on the log. "I feel like such a fool." Her voice was broken, her face as mask of pain. Lily pictured James's cold eyes and cruel smirk, and buried her face in her hands.

"Oh Lily," Alice sat down on the log, wrapping an arm around the redhead's shoulders. "Don't you shed a single tear over that boy! He's not worth it."

Lily sniffed. "I thought he was," she said softly.

"Exactly!" Alice squeezed her shoulder. " _Thought_. James Potter is nothing more than an arrogant prick who's peaking at the age of eighteen. You're too good for him."

Lily looked at Alice, her blue eyes filled with reassurance. "Men are rats," she said, smirking when Lily weakly giggled. "Worse! They're fleas on rats. They're amoebas on fleas on rats. They're too low for even dogs to bite," she leaned in closer, offering Lily a small smile. "The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy."

Lily gave Alice a watery smile. "That's true," she sighed, running her hands over her face and through her hair.

"Come on," Alice pulled Lily up from the log and started leading her out of the forest. "Let's go up to the dorm and we can find the cheesiest, girliest chick flick on Netflix, and put on the face masks my mother sent me for my birthday, and hang out in our pjs. We can even sneak to the kitchens and see if they've got any ice cream."

Lily felt exhausted. She wanted to say no, and crawl into bed and cry for the rest of the night, but she thought about Alice's words, about not shedding a tear over James. He certainly wasn't shedding any over her. She found herself nodding. "Yeah. That sounds nice."

Alice grabbed her hand and tugged Lily after her. As they passed the group of boys loitering just outside of the bonfire circle, she felt eyes on her. She knew they belonged to him, but she turned her head away, pointedly ignoring him. Alice squeezed her hand, and the girls picked up speed, jogging toward the lit windows of the castle.

* * *

James watched as Alice Prewitt led Lily out of the forest. The two girls sprinted past where the Marauders were standing, and James longed to run over to Lily and gather her into his arms and tell her it wasn't true, her hadn't meant a word he'd said.

But they didn't stop, and James didn't move. He dragged a hand through his hair, and drank deeply from the whiskey bottle when it was passed his way.

His mind kept producing images of Lily. She'd been just as beautiful as she had been in the summer, perhaps even more so with the way the firelight from the bonfire had made her hair even redder. He pictured the way her green eyes had sparkled with excitement when she'd first seen him, and how her pink lips had pulled up in the most breathtaking smile. _And her uniform._ He groaned internally when he thought of the spandex-like top that clung to her like a second skin, and matching skirt that had stopped mid-thigh on her long, lean legs.

_Fuck!_ He wanted to hit something. He still couldn't decide who he was angrier at, Marlene for setting him up, or himself for being an arse to the best person he knew.

Sirius, sensing his best friend's uneasy mind, suggested they all head into the local village pub. "Come on, mate," he said, wrapping an arm around James's shoulders. "Let's get you a proper drink."

James wasn't sure if Sirius actually knew what as upsetting him, or just wanted an excuse to get smashed, but James went along with them anyway. He planned to join Sirius in getting drunk out of his mind, and hopefully forgetting the whole night.

They all left, except for Frank who though it best to find Alice and make sure he wasn't in trouble, and were soon opening the door to the Three Broomsticks. Supposedly, the original owner of the pub was a suspected witch - back when people were still drowned and burned for being witches - and had dubbed the place as thus as a joke.

"Rosie!" Sirius crowed when they walked through the door, throwing his arms wide as he grinned at the beautiful barmaid.

"It's my favorite group of mischief makers," Madam Rosemerta smiled, her brown eyes twinkling with amusement as she shook her dark curls. "What are you boys up to now? I thought there was a special event going on for you up at the school."

"Now, why would we want to attend such a juvenile event like that when we could spend time with you, Rosie?" Sirius wrapped an arm around the barmaid who giggled.

"Four pints, please, Rosie," Remus said with a kind smile, taking a seat next to Peter.

Madam Rosemerta nodded and sidled up to James. "What's wrong with you, Golden Boy?" she asked, her lips puckered in concern. James flinched at the nickname he usually loved.

"Just got his ego bruised by an old flame," Sirius responded casually. "Bird threw a hissy fit, so Prongs feels _guilty_ now." Sirius rolled his eyes, saying "guilty" like it was a word he'd never heard of before.

James gritted his teeth at Sirius's callous words. Madam Rosemerta looked James in the eye and he knew she knew there was more to the story than what Sirius had said.

Madam Rosemerta disappeared behind the bar, coming back a few minutes later with four pints. She placed a pint down in front of James, and put on a hand on his shoulder. "You mind helping me, Golden Boy? I can't reach a few of the crates in the back, and I need a big, strong, strapping young man to grab it."

Sirius perked up. "I got you, Rosie." He started to rise from his seat, but James stopped him.

"Pop a squat, midget. Let the big boy handle this one," James smirked, pushing his chair back. James was only an inch or two taller than Sirius, but he never let his best friend forget it.

Madam Rosemerta giggled and led James away from where Sirius was sputtering indignantly, and Remus and Peter were chuckling. Once in the backroom, James turned to the barmaid. "Which crates, Rosie?"

Madam Rosemerta pointed to the crates and watched James as he stretched to his full height. "So who's this girl Sirius is talking about?"

James sighed. "Her name is Lily," he told the barmaid. He had no idea why he was telling the barmaid, but it felt good to get it out. "We met over the summer and now she attends Hogwarts."

James placed the crate down next to Madam Rosemerta and brushed off his hands. She pointed to another crate and he set to work. "Shouldn't that be a good thing?" she asked.

James shook his head as he pulled down the second crate. "I fucked up, Rosie. I fucked up big time."

He stacked the crates and looked at Rosie to see if she had anything else. She shook her head, and James picked up the two crates with a grunt, the glass bottles inside clanking against one another.

"Apologize to her. I'm sure she'll understand." Rosie led him behind the bar and he set the crates on the wooden countertop.

James watched as she pulled out two shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey from one of the crates. She poured the amber liquid and pushed a glass toward him. "I don't think an apology is enough," James grumbled before tossing back his shot.

The barmaid followed suit and patted his shoulder comfortingly. She gave him a kind smile as she responded. "Even if she doesn't forgive you immediately, an apology is better than nothing.

_Yeah, if she'll ever actually talk to me again._ James gave her a weak smile and ambled back to the table. Sirius was talking about his motorcycle again. "-thinking about painting her red. Maybe I'll even take McKinnon for a ride on it, and then maybe she'll even let me ride her," he smirked, finishing the last of his drink with a loud belch.

"Oh yeah, how could Marlene ever resist you?" Remus snorted as he stared at Sirius in disgust.

"Please, you couldn't charm the pants off of Vance if you even tried," Sirius retorted.

"I wouldn't bother trying."

"Nah, you're mistaken, Padfoot," James cut in. "Moony likes Meadows, not Vance."

Remus's cheeks turned pink and Sirius grinned roguishly. "Meadows, eh? She's a fine looking bird. A little strange if you ask me, but perfect for a freak like you." Remus flicked a cigarette stub a Sirius, who swatted it away from his face.

"What about you, Prongs?" Peter spoke up. "You been holding out on us. That ginger bird was beyond fine! Feisty too."

James tensed up. From the corner of his eye he saw Remus shoot Peter a look. "Lily. Her name is Lily and I don't want to talk about her."

A heavy silence settled over the four of them as three of the Marauders stared confusedly at James, who focused only on his drink.

The door to the pub flew open and five bodies filled the doorway. Sirius glanced at the door and tensed up, smacking James in the shoulder. James turned to the door, and his grip on his drink tightened. "What are the Death Eaters doing here?" Sirius muttered darkly.

Rodolphus Lestrange was the leader of a local gang who called themselves the Death Eaters. It was rumored the gang was part of a mob led by the infamous gangster Tom Riddle. There were five members in the pub at the moment: Lestrange, the leader; Malfoy, his second; and Mulciber and Avery, two of his cronies. The four of them had all be expelled from school, but the fifth member, Severus Snape, attended Hogwarts with the Marauders. James watched the greasy haired seventh year as he peered at the group from behind Mulciber.

"A little past your bedtime, ain't it, Potter?" Lestrange sneered.

Sirius stood up quickly, his chair flying away from him. His expression was furious. "This is our turf!"

Lestrange snorted. "For now."

Sirius's hands were fisted at his sides. Remus moved to stand next to him, his hand on Sirius's forearm, but he too had a furious expression. Peter looked half-annoyed, half-intimidated as he sat on the edge of his chair. Only James seemed undisturbed, sitting in his chair with an indifferent expression on his face.

"Heard you got yourself a bike, Black. Not gonna try to race it at Thunder Road, are you?" Malfoy sneered with a superior expression.

Sirius growled low in his throat. "Name the time and day, and I'll squash your pale arse."

Malfoy snorted. "Like I'd waste my time racing against a bike meant for scrap metal."

James finally moved, standing up and walking casually toward Lestrange. He could feel both gangs' members tense up, but he ignored it. "If he says he's gonna race at Thunder Road, he'll race at Thunder Road," James said calmly, his voice deep and filled with meaning. When Lestrange snorted, James cocked an eyebrow. "What? Chicken?"

James watched as Lestrange's eyes lit up in fury. "Why you little-" he grabbed a fistful of James's jersey when he was interrupted by a bang.

All nine males turned to the bar where Madam Rosemerta stood holding a baseball bat, her expression annoyed. "I want no trouble!" she yelled. "I just cleaned these floors and I'm not in the mood to be mopping up blood all night," she turned to the Death Eaters. "Get out."

Lestrange looked about to protest, but he took note of the phone Rosie held in her other hand. "This isn't over Potter," he spat. He snapped his fingers and lead his gang from the pub.

The air was still heavy with tension for another minute before Remus spoke up. "Thanks Rosie."

Madam Rosemerta lowered the bat. "I couldn't let my boys get hurt on my watch."

"Aw, we could've taken them, Rosie," Sirius replied, trading his scowl for a flirty wink.

"You boys should get going. Curfew soon," the barmaid said.

She came to their table and picked up their empty mugs. The boys shrugged on their jackets and headed toward the door. The boys called goodbye to Rosie. She stopped James before he walked out. "Apologize to her. It'll benefit you later."

* * *

The weekend passed with little event for Lily. She seldom left her dorm for fear she would see James if she did. She knew she would have to leave for classes on Monday, but she took the weekend to prepare herself.

She woke up extra early on Monday, and dressed in her uniform. She applied her make-up with care and spent a great deal of time debating how to wear her hair before giving up and braiding the long strands back. She mentally braced herself and walked down to breakfast. There were a few people in the dining hall at this time, just as Lily had suspected. Lily sat down alone at the table she usually shared with Alice and the other girls, and pulled a book out of her bag. Surreptitiously, she glanced around, but saw no sign of the messy haired boy. She breathed a sigh of relief and settled into her breakfast.

"Mornin' Red," Lily jumped and looked up, nearly dropping her fork as she noticed Amos standing there. "Sorry, Lily. Didn't mean to scare you."

Lily breathed out and smiled. "No, it's okay. Good morning, Amos. How are you?"

"I'm good. What are you doing up so early?" he asked, taking a seat across from her.

Lily shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. "No specific reason," _Just hiding from the boy who broke my heart._ "What about you?"

"Morning practice," Amos groaned. Lily finally took note of the uniform he was in. "It's bad enough Hooch has us spending three hours each afternoon training, but Potter's got us up at the crack of dawn."

Lily tensed up, feeling her panic rise. "James?" she asked. "He plays football?"

Amos nodded distractedly. "Yeah. He's captain. You eating that?" He pointed to a piece of toast, but Lily shook her head, pushing her tray toward Amos, no longer hungry.

She vaguely remembered that James had been wearing a uniform on Friday, and she thought he might've mentioned something over the summer about football.

"So did you have fun at the bonfire on Friday?" Amos asked while shoving a piece of sausage in his mouth. "I didn't see you all weekend."

"Lily?" Lily tensed up again. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

Lily didn't move, she couldn't. Amos looked up and smiled. "Hey Potter."

"Diggory," James replied politely. "Lily, could I have a word please?"

Lily felt her stomach turn over. The tone of his voice, the casual yet slightly pleading tone made her heart reach out to him. This caused her anger to flare up, pissed off at her weakness for him, even after what he did. "No," she said, her voice brisk. "I need to stop by the library before class." Still not looking at James, she gathered her things. "I'll see you around Amos," Lily said in a flirty voice, winking. Amos perked up, grinning broadly.

Lily turned and breezed past James, not even pausing to see his reaction to her flirting with someone else in front of him. "Lily!" he called after her. She kept going, though he caught up to her in a short amount of time. "Lily, please," he grabbed her arm by the elbow and she instantly jerked to a stop.

"Don't touch me," she hissed, wrenching her arm from his grasp.

James stared at her wide-eyed; she hadn't spoken so harshly to him since the first day they'd met. He blinked and his hand moved to his hair. "Right. Sorry," he mumbled.

Lily stared at him expectantly, but when he didn't speak, she made a disgusted sound and turned to leave. "No, wait," James made like he was going to grab her arm again, but thought better of it. His arm dropped to his side and Lily took the moment to really look at him.

He was wearing his football uniform: a maroon jersey that showed off his toned torso nicely and matching shorts. _Dammit._ She made herself look him in the eye and she realized something. "You wear specs."

"What?" James looked confused for a moment before fingering the square frames. "Oh, yeah. I wear contacts when I'm on the stand," he explained.

Lily cocked her head to the side, examining how the glasses framed his hazel eyes nicely. "They suit you."

He smirked at her, ruffling his hair again. "Thanks."

Lily found herself starting to blush as he continued to look at her like that, his eyes filled with confidence and laughter, but seeing him smirk again made her feel cold and she took a step back. The smirk disappeared and a guarded look took its place. "Lily, can we talk? Please?"

She shook her head. "I have nothing to say to you, and I don't care what you have to say." She turned to leave again.

"Lily, I want to apologize! Please, just let me explain!"

"You already explained. It was just a summer fling. Nothing more. You don't matter to me anymore, and I obviously never mattered to you." James flinched at her words.

"No, dammit Lil! That's not true. You-you could _never_ be just a summer fling," he leaned close to her, his eyes filled with meaning, but Lily refused to let it affect her.

"Oh really?" she cocked an eyebrow. " _This isn't some fairytale_ James. _Come on; be real,_ " she mimicked his tone. When he merely stared at her with no response, she turned and walked away.

* * *

James had the urge to throw something, to yell at the top of his lungs, to grab Lily and shake her and tell her she was insane if she thought the summer didn't mean anything to him.

He settled for punching the tile on the wall in the shower. One, two, three times. He glanced down at his hand, flexing his fingers to see if they were broken. A sharp pain shot through his joints, but he was able to move all five appendages. He turned off the water and stepped out.

None of the other Marauders were in the dorm, which James was thankful for. He didn't feel like explaining where he'd been all morning. He threw on his uniform, just barely bothering to make himself look presentable, his tie hanging loosely around his neck. He grabbed his books and headed out the door. He was lost in his thoughts, mentally berating himself during his walk to English.

"Mr. Potter, how nice of you to actually join us for once." James looked up at Professor McGonagall, who was in the middle of handing out books.

"I've been here seven years. It was bound to happen eventually, Professor," James replied, instantly pulling out a charming smile. He winked at the older woman.

"Hmph. Maybe next time we'll actually get you here on time," McGonagall replied in a droll tone. "Detention Potter. Tonight after practice, my office."

"It is an honor to get to spend more time in your presence, Professor. I will be there promptly at six." The other students snickered.

McGonagall only rolled her eyes. "Find a seat Potter."

James finally looked around the room for a seat. He spotted one, the second seat in the third row, just behind…

She shot him a furious look as he made his way to over to the seat, her brilliant eyes like green fire. He dropped his books on the desk behind her and plopped down in his seat. He stared at the back of Lily's head. She'd pulled her long hair back in a braid, the strands glimmering red and gold and auburn. He remembered how soft those strands were, how it felt to feel them slip between his fingers. He caught a whiff of her rosemary and juniper shampoo, and was transported to their goodbye at the pier. And he'd thought the crestfallen look on her face then had been heartbreaking; it was nothing compared to the betrayed look on Friday.

A book landed on his desk with a thud and he jolted slightly. "Fix your tie, Potter. This is a school, not a zoo."

"Yes, Professor," James mumbled, grabbing the ends of the fabric and wrapping them around his neck.

"Look behind you," McGonagall said to the class. "This is your partner for the rest of the year. You and your partner will be paired for every project or presentation you do this year. There will be four projects, one for each novel we read, and two presentations, one at midterms and one at finals. These projects and presentations will be making up a significant part of your grade, so I suggest you take this seriously. Take a moment to introduce yourself to your partner; they are your new best friend."

The room filled with noise as students turned around to talk to one another. James couldn't believe his good luck. Being partners with Lily would give him an excuse to talk to her. He could apologize and explain himself, and maybe she would understand and forgive him. For once, James was glad he'd actually gone to class. He waited anxiously for Lily to turn around, but she never did. Instead, she raised her hand.

"Miss Evans."

"Professor, I would like to switch partners," Lily said. Her voice rang out, clear and strong, through the classroom, and suddenly there was silence.

"I'm sorry, Miss Evans," McGonagall said. Even she seemed confused as to why Lily would want to change. "Is there a problem?"

"Yes, Professor. I would like to change partners, please. Or, if that's not possible, I'd be willing to work alone."

James heard someone gasp, and soon after the whispers started. No one had ever refused to work with a Marauder before, much less a girl.

"I'm sorry, Miss Evans, but do you have a problem with Mr. Potter?"

"Yes, Professor. I-" Lily faltered for a moment and though he couldn't see her face, James imagined she had a pained expression. "I- if this project is truly as important as you say it is, I want a reliable partner, and I don't feel like Mr. Potter is someone I can trust."

Each word caused James pain, from the way she called him _Mr. Potter_ to saying she didn't trust him.

"As I said before, Professor, if I can't swap partners with someone else, I am more than willing to work alone," Lily continued.

The whispers grew louder and more scandalized. James could feel eyes on him, but he could only focus on the back of Lily's head.

"That would not work Miss Evans. This project is designed specifically with partner work in mind. You would never be able to get all the work done with your assignments from your other subjects as well."

"But Professor-" Lily started, but McGonagall cut her off.

"Miss Evans, Mr. Potter is the top of the class. He is the best fit for you as a partner. He will help challenge a student of your caliber."

"Professor-"

"I'm sorry, Miss Evans, but my word is final. If you have further concerns, you may speak to me after class."

McGonagall continued her lecture, but James paid her no mind. He was too busy staring at Lily's slumped shoulders. _Good job, you arsehole. You made her hate you._

Class ended and all the students filed out. "Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, please stay a minute," McGonagall said from behind her desk. She called Lily up to her desk first. They talked in hushed voices so that James had to strain to hear them.

"Please, Professor, _please_ don't make me work with him," Lily begged, her voice sounding choked up, and James felt his heart break further.

"I am most sorry Miss Evans, I truly am, but you're new here and still adjusting to our curriculum. I have no doubt you could do the projects by yourself and receive a passing grade, but you're taking very advanced courses and I feel all the work would be too great for you. A partner will help lessen that load," Lily's expression must've been quite pitiful because McGonagall's face softened significantly and her voice was almost maternal sounding. "Do you have a _personal_ problem with James?"

Lily flinched at his name and the older woman turned to glance at him. He couldn't meet McGonagall's eyes, feeling ashamed. "Miss Evans," McGonagall said. "I will speak to Mr. Potter, but stick it out for the first two projects. If you feel that he does not live up to your expectations, you let me know and we will work something out." The older woman squeezed Lily's hand and gave her a kind smile. _Lily must really look upset to get a smile from McGonagall._

McGonagall dismissed Lily and called James up. Her stern expression was back. "I don't know what you did to Miss Evans, Potter, but I expect you to treat her with respect. You will do what she says, show up when she asks you to. If I hear of one mishap, I will fail you. Understood?"

James nodded. The professor looked surprised that he had no quick quip and dismissed him.

James walked out into the hall felling awful. He was such a bastard. He spotted Lily walking quickly down the hall and was tempted to go after her, but decided against it. He'd invaded her space too many times today already.

He didn't feel like going to class anymore. He pulled his pack of cigarettes from his pocket and started walking toward the turf.

"Hi James," a sultry voice said. For a second, his distracted mind thought it was Lily and he spun around quickly.

"Oh." He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice as his eyes landed on a curly blonde haired fifth year. She looked vaguely familiar. "Hi."

"Shouldn't you in class?" She took a few steps closer. She had rolled up her skirt so it showed off a decent amount of her thighs and the top two buttons of her top were undone. He suddenly recognized her as the girl from the first day of school.

"Shouldn't you?" he shot back, cocking an eyebrow. He wasn't really in the mood for small talk, and wished the girl would walk away.

"Free period," she replied, stepping closer to him. She was looking up at him eagerly and her breathing picked up the closer she got to him.

"Hmm, that's nice," James said in a careless voice. He looked back in the direction Lily had disappeared and turned back to the blonde, ready to make his excuses when she launched herself at him. She threw her arms around his neck and attacked his mouth with hers. James found himself instinctively responding, wrapping his arms around her waist and forcing her mouth open.

He pulled away when he couldn't breathe and looked down at the determined blonde. "Come with me," she said, taking his hand. He casted one final glance to where Lily had disappeared before allowing the blonde to lead him into the nearest broom closet.

* * *

Lily sat in the library staring at the open textbook in front of her. She'd been reading the same problem over and over for the last thirty minutes.

**A $5000 26-week T-bill sells for $4947.80. What is the interest rate?**

She'd been distracted all throughout her mathematics class and hadn't taken as thorough notes as she usually did. Her mind was far too full of rushing thoughts to focus on profit at the moment.

She couldn't believe McGonagall had partnered her with James for the rest of the year. Even three days later, she still couldn't wrap her mind around the situation. To make matters worse, she had two other classes with him: chemistry and French. It was like the universe wanted her to re-live the pain of his betrayal on an endless loop.

Lily sighed and closed her textbook, deciding she needed to stretch her legs. She pushed back her chair and walked through the shelves to the right of her table. There was something about books that calmed Lily. Perhaps it was because books provided an escape from her own life; maybe it was because any turmoil the protagonist faced stayed between the pages and ink. She grabbed a hardcover randomly, glancing briefly at the dust covered title on the spine, before putting it back on the shelf.

"-you were late to class on Monday?" Lily heard voices echoing through the shelves. She glanced through a gap in the books on the shelf to her left.

"I was with James." Lily froze. _God fucking dammit. I can never escape him. Bad enough he's always in my head, but apparently he's in every other female's as well._ Lily looked at the table of girls through the stack and instantly recognized a girl with curly blonde hair from her first day.

"Georgia!" one of the girl's friends squealed, smacking the girl on the arm. "Why are you telling us this now?"

The blonde, Georgia, shrugged nonchalantly though Lily thought she saw an uncomfortable look pass briefly over the fifth year's face. "You didn't ask till now," Georgia said with a hint of smugness.

"Well, what happened?"

"I caught him skipping class during my free period, and we got to talking, and then we stopped talking, and…" Georgia trailed off dramatically, a sly grin on her lips.

Her friends gasped, staring at her with mouths agape. "Did you shag?" one finally asked after a short silence.

Lily felt her stomach drop as Georgia's grin widened even as her face turned red. The friends squealed again, but Lily barely heard them over the rush of blood to her head. She felt a mixture of anger and sadness, as well as another wave of betrayal. Her hands were shaking and her legs felt numb.

"How was it? What was it like? Are you guys, like, in love now?" Lily just barely caught the onslaught of question.

"At first, it hurt a little, but then, he was just as amazing as people say he is," Georgia got a dreamy, hazy look in her eyes. Lily remembered feeling that way every time she and James had snogged, though she didn't like seeing it on another girl's face. It didn't last long, as Georgia's face clouded over with her next words. "It's just…"

"Just what?" Her friends looked confused, like they couldn't imagine anything bad about shagging James.

"Well, when he finished… he… called out a name," Georgia had an uncomfortable frown on her face.

One of her friends giggled. "Of course he would call out your name, silly."

Georgia looked like she was about to puke. "It wasn't my name he called out," her friends all looked confused as Georgia spat out her next words. "He called out… _Lily_."

There was a heavy silence during which Lily felt her stomach muscles cramp and she placed a hand over her mouth to keep herself from getting sick. She couldn't listen to this anymore. She hurried back to the table where she'd left her books and snatched up her stuff, practically sprinting from the library. She couldn't move fast enough away. _He said my_ name _. Why? We never even shagged! Why would he do that? I thought it was only a sum-_

Lily's thoughts were cut off as she ran into another person. She stumbled back a step, unbalanced on her feet. The person she bumped into grabbed her shoulders to steady her. She looked up a a boy with light brown hair and brown eyes, a scar across his right cheek. "Oh, I'm so sorry," Lily rushed to apologize, her voice shaking.

"It's fine," the boy responded. He was looking at her funny, like he knew who she was, but he was unfamiliar to Lily. "Are you okay?"

"Moony!" They looked up to see a boy with dark hair wearing a leather jacket over his uniform walking toward them. At his side was-

"Lily?" James said.

Lily started, her nausea reaching a peak. She looked from the boy steadying her to James and realized these were his friends. She pulled back from the boy's grasp, suddenly feeling like a cornered animal.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" James asked, picking up on her panicked feeling. He reached where Lily stood and looked like he was going to reach out.

"You shagged a fifth year?" Lily blurted.

James froze, staring at her with widening eyes. "Where did you hear that?" he asked in a low, anxious voice.

Lily didn't respond. She turned and sprinted up the stairs to the Gryffindor girls' dorm. She paused outside the door, needing to take a moment to compose herself. She didn't want Alice or Marlene or the other girls seeing her in such a state.

"-sick and tired of it," Lily heard Marlene say.

"You're not even giving her a chance," Alice accused.

"She's not so bad," Dorcas said, her mouth sounding full. "She's kind of funny if you actually talk to her."

"Puh-lease. The girl's a total swot. All the professors talk about how she's so intelligent," Marlene snorted. Lily had a sinking feeling they were talking about her.

"Well, all the guys won't stop talking about her," Emmeline put in. "Robert Barrister asked me if I could introduce him the other day."

Another incredulous sound was made. "Oh yeah, they're all _dying_ to shag her," Marlene retorted. She started to sing. " _Look at me, I'm Lilll-eee! Lousy with virginity. Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed! I can't; I'm Lilll-eee!_ "

Lily felt something die yet again inside of her. Here were her supposed new friends, talking about her behind her back. _Maybe I should have listened to Dad and gone to France…_

"You're just jealous because James is more infatuated with Lily than he ever was with you," Alice said angrily.

Lily was shocked with this new information. She didn't know James and Marlene had been together. _Though after today, I guess I shouldn't be surprised._

"Yeah, terribly jealous," Marlene spat. "The way he treated her at the bonfire was definitely something to be jealous of."

"I thought it was incredibly cruel," Emmeline spoke up. "I've never seen anyone act so cold before."

"Even a Marauder," Dorcas echoed. "Your break up wasn't even that ugly."

"She got what she deserved," Marlene brushed off airily. "After all of her delusions of grandeur."

There was a heavy pause, but Lily didn't wait for one of the other girls to speak up. Her nausea was far past, replaced by a burning anger. She was sick and tied of getting talked about behind her back. She shoved the door open and it hit the wall with a bang.

All four girls jumped. There were crowded around Alice's bed, bottles of nail polish open on the bedside table and filling the room with a chemical smell. Alice, Dorcas, and Emmeline all looked horrified and guilty to be caught talking about Lily by Lily. Even Marlene looked surprised. "You making fun of me, Mar?" Lily asked coldly, glaring harshly at the brunette.

None of the girls responded and Lily rolled her eyes in disgust. She walked over to her four-poster, and tossed down her books, climbing on the bed, and pulling her curtains closed around her.

She waited, listening for the sounds of the four girls leaving. When the dormitory door finally closed, she let herself go and sobbed into her pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note
> 
> So, when I posted this originally on FanFic, I got a review to not make J&L's fight about something stupid, so I hope I accomplished that. But lemme do some explaining. So, in Grease, Danny humiliates Sandy because he has a specific image to uphold: player bad boy, and Sandy is your stereotypical girl-next-door, goody-two-shoes. James has a similar problem in this, since he's supposed to be a bad boy player as well, even if Lily isn't exactly like Sandy. But I apologize for any disappointment.
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo Evie


	4. Chapter III: Greased Lightin'

III. Greased Lightin'

_"Go Greased Lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile_

_(Greased Lightning, go Greased Lightning!)_

_Go Greased Lightning, you're coasting through the heat lap trial_

_(Greased Lighting, go Greased Lightning)"_

James sat at his lab table and tried to ignore Sirius's groaning about the early hour. All four Marauders had chemistry together, but while James and Sirius would've typically skipped class or shown up late, James had made his best friend get up for the start of class that day.

"-and I was having the most wonderful dream about Candice Swanepoel, and she had just gotten on her knees, and-"

"No one wants to hear your bitching so early, Padfoot," Remus cut into Sirius's tirade. "We're all just as tired as you are."

"Except for Prongs," Sirius muttered darkly.

James ignored him, his eyes trained on the door. He hadn't seen Lily since she'd asked him about sleeping with the fifth year. He felt like such an idiot; he'd thought maybe Lily wouldn't hear about it, but Hogwarts was like a beehive, with gossip and news spread around quickly. He could only hope Lily didn't know about what else had happened in that broom cupboard. He was still humiliated by it.

The class was almost completely full when James caught a glimpse of red hair. Lily trailed into the classroom behind Emmeline Vance, who was gabbing on about something or other. Lily's eyes had a glazed look to them as she nodded along vaguely to whatever Emmeline was saying.

James took a moment to really look at her. Lily's eyes looked slightly dull, and there were dark circles under them. Her usually pinkish skin looked exceptionally pale in her black uniform jumper. She was fidgeting with a necklace around her neck and gnawing at her bottom lip. She looked worn out, though she was still beautiful.

Lily's attractiveness had not gone unnoticed by the male population. James had heard Thomas Rodchester talking about her with his mates during trigonometry the other day and he had seen Amos Diggory approach her a few times. It grated him that he couldn't go up to these boys and beat the ever-loving shit out of them for talking, and thinking about, and looking at his Lily, especially since she wasn't _his_ anymore.

"Dayyy-uuuummmm, Vance!" Peter cried out suddenly, perking up in his seat. "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"

Emmeline shot Lily an exasperated look before glaring at Peter. "No, but I did scrape my knees when I crawled up from Hell," she retorted in a sickly sweet voice.

Remus and Sirius snickered, grinning at Emmeline as she passed their lab table. James met Lily's eye. For a second, something sparked in her green irises, but all too soon it disappeared and she ducked her head, and carried along.

"Fuck, that's-"

"Language, Mr. Pettigrew. Language!" The chemistry professor, Slughorn, chuckled as he walked into the room. "Good morning class," he called cheerfully. "Before I start the lesson today, I want to assign lab partners, as we will be doing lab work next time."

Slughorn set down his briefcase and opened it up, pulling out a sheet of printer paper. "I'll call your names out and you can all move to sit with one another."

He started going down the list and James tuned him out until he got to Remus's name. "Remus Lupin and Jacob Langston." Remus grimaced as he grabbed his books to move to his new seat. Langston was not a good student, and Remus, who prided himself on his work ethic, would surely have a difficult year.

"Peter Pettigrew and Emmeline Vance."

"Fuck," Emmeline hissed at the same moment Peter let out a whoop. He scurried to his new desk, while Emmeline gave Lily a despairing grimace. Lily smiled reassuringly back.

"Sirius Black and Jasmine Kaufman."

Sirius turned and winked at his new partner. Jasmine looked like she was about to faint. James rolled his eyes.

"James Potter, and-" _Please be Lily. Please be Lily._ "-Emily Johanson."

James tried not to frown as Emily moved to his table. He ignored her as she leaned on her elbow and gazed at him dreamily.

More names were called, and James realized Lily hadn't been partnered up yet. He looked around the room to see who was left. "Lily Evans, and," Slughorn called. James watched as Lily straightened in her seat. She was leaning forward slightly, her hair falling around her slender shoulders, bottom lip caught in between her teeth, back slightly arched. "Severus Snape."

James instantly tensed up. He gripped the edge of his table to keep himself from jumping up and shouting out protests.

James watched as Lily turned to watch Snape make his way over to her table. She smiled shyly at him, but Snape ignored her, slumping down in his chair.

James glared at the pair of them, tuning out whatever Slughorn was saying. His mind was in a panic, his thoughts racing. _Why couldn't she have been paired with Rochester._ Anyone _, but Snivellus._

James could feel eyes on him and he looked up to see Sirius watching him with a frown, Peter looking confused, and Remus pursing his lips. James ignored them all, too busy anxiously waiting for class to end.

It was the longest hour of his life and he jumped out of his seat as soon as class ended, hurrying out into the hall. He waited until Lily walked out with Emmeline by her side, complaining loudly about being partnered with Peter, and grabbed her upper arm. "We need to talk," he hissed, yanking her down the hall and out of sight of the classroom, ignoring Lily's protests.

When he felt they were far enough, he let her go. "What the fuck, James?" Lily cried, looking furious. "You can't just go around manhandling me!"

James shook his head. "We need to talk," he repeated.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you. I thought I made that clear."

James pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "No, not about that," he sighed and shifted his weight. He looked down at Lily and tried to make himself clear. "You need to ask Slughorn to switch partners."

Lily blinked up at him, looking surprised. She clearly had not been expecting that. "What?"

James leaned in closer to her. "You need to switch lab partners."

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Snape is dangerous. You can't trust him."

Lily's eyebrow rose higher, and she looked at him with disbelief. "He's dangerous?"

"Yes."

Lily took a breath, leaning against the wall behind her. Her tone implied she thought she was placating a child's fancy. "How?"

James ran a hand through his hair. _How do I explain this?_ "Snape is a member of a gang."

Lily snorted. "Okay, James," she said, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "Severus, who's our age, is in a gang. Sure."

James let out a frustrated breath. "Yes! Just because he's young doesn't mean he can't be a member. The Death Eaters don't really give a shit about age."

"They're called the 'Death Eaters'?" Lily shook her head. "James, I don't have time for your immature antics, or your jealousy."

James ignored the dig at his personal interests and continued on. "I'm serious, Lil! You can ask anyone; they'll confirm what I'm saying. The Death Eaters work for Tom Riddle," James saw recognition spark in her eyes at the name. "Snape is their newest member. I saw him with them just last week."

Lily still looked hesitant.

"Trust me Lil. Stay away from him. Please switch lab partners. Please."

Lily shifted her weight, but it looked like he had swayed her. "I don't know James…"

"Please, Lil. I wouldn't lie to you."

Lily's face instantly shut down, her eyes turning cold, and James realized he'd said the wrong thing. "Wouldn't lie to me, huh?"

"No, Lily-"

"Because I seem to remember someone telling me one thing for _months_ , then, when I see him again, finding out he meant something else _entirely_. Wouldn't you call that _lying_ , James?" Lily pushed off from the wall, and stormed past him, disappearing down the hall.

"Wait! Goddammit! Lily, wait!" She didn't turn around, and James roared in frustration, punching the wall beside him.

"Prongs?"James turned and saw Remus standing behind him. "You okay?"

James ran a hand through his hair and pulled on the dark strands. The flash of pain helped clear his thoughts for a moment. "Lily's partners with Snape," he said.

"I saw," Remus replied, eying his agitated friend.

"I tried to convince Lily to switch partners." James started to pace in front of the wall Lily had been leaning against.

"And how did that go?" Remus asked, shifting his bag on his shoulder.

"She didn't believe me," James said in a huff. "You _know_ she'll be in danger if Snape ever finds out about us. Fuck!" He punched the wall again.

"Prongs, calm down," Remus said. "You're not helping anyone if you break your hand," James flexed his fingers as Remus continued. "Lily seems like a clever girl. Even if she didn't believe you now, you've planted a seed of doubt in her mind, so she'll likely be more cautious around Snape now. He'll show her his true colors soon enough."

James muttered something under his breath, and continued to pace. Remus proceeded carefully. "Prongs, why are you so concerned about this?"

James stopped and looked at Remus like he though his friend had lost a few brain cells. "Lily could be used against me if Snape tells Lestrange about our relationship."

Remus raised an eyebrow at the word. "Relationship? I thought she was just a summer fling."

James faltered as he realized his slip. He quickly tried to cover up. "Relationship, fling, same thing."

"No, James, they're very different. A fling is casual; a relationship implies something more," James didn't reply. "Lily was more than a fling, wasn't she?"

James stoped pacing and leaned against the wall, both hands clutching at his hair. "I can't let her get hurt, Remus," he paused, wincing as he realized his words. "More hurt than she already is."

Remus watched his friend, unsure what to do or say to comfort him. After a few moments of silence, James pushed off from the wall. He sighed. "Remus, please don't tell Sirius or Peter about me and Lily. Especially not now."

Remus frowned, but nodded. "We'll figure something out, Prongs. Lily'll be just fine."

* * *

James's words echoed through Lily's head all through the rest of day and had leaked into the next few until she found herself walking into chemistry. She walked over to her desk, which was unoccupied, and sat down. She unzipped her bag, and pulled out her textbook, glancing at the beakers and test tubes on the table in front of her.

She looked up at the sound of laughter, and saw James walking in with his group of friends. He was walking backwards, a notebook tucked under his arm. His eyes crinkled as he laughed, the corners of his mouth turned up. He was looking at a plump blonde boy who was smirking while he talked.

Watching James laugh brought back memories from the summer. She wanted to go back in time, to make the summer go on forever. Her time spent with James had been the happiest she'd been since her mother had passed. Hell, she even thought she'd started to fall in-

She stopped those thoughts short. They were too painful, and obviously not true. All those memories were lies.

She looked quickly back down at her textbook, and opened to the page number on the board as James looked up. Lily could feel his gaze on her as he took his seat, but she kept her eyes on her textbook, reading over the instructions for the assignment.

The bell rang and Slughorn walked in, calling the class to attention. "Today we will be doing an experiment using Le Chatelier's Principle."

Slughorn went over the principle again, though Lily doodled in her notebook instead. She glanced up briefly to glance over at James. Despite everything that had happened between them, she found herself unable to resist opportunities to see him in his natural habitat. He hadn't talked much about his school life over the summer, though he'd mentioned his friends sparingly in his stories. It was weird to see the two different sides of James: James the lifeguard, who was serious and focused, polite and humble; and James the student, who took nothing seriously and acted as if he was a king, an arrogant smirk always at the ready. And yet, she could see similarities between the two: his mischievousness, his easy way of carrying a conversation, his loyalty, and, much to Lily's chagrin, his habit of flirting with anything remotely female.

James had pulled a piece of paper from his notebook and was ripping off bits to fold into triangles. One of his friends - Lily was pretty sure he was the one Marlene had been talking about lately, Sirius - had turned around in his seat, and was holding his thumbs and forefingers up in the shape of an American football field goal. James flicked a triangle through Sirius's fingers and the two boys silently cheered. Their female lab partners clapped their hands, looking delighted. Lily couldn't help but roll her eyes.

Sirius glanced over, and caught her eye, nudging James. Lily quickly looked away, her gaze moving across the room. She caught the eye of Thomas Rodchester, who she'd caught staring at her a few times before. She blushed when he winked at her, and averted her gaze. She made eye contact with Emmeline next, who mouthed "Help me!" as the chubby boy who always followed James and Sirius around leaned on his elbow and stared at the blonde dreamily. Lily smiled, shrugging sympathetically.

She glanced back at James briefly, catching him glaring murderously at Rodchester, before paying attention to Slughorn's instructions.

When Slughorn finally let them begin their work, Lily hesitated. Her partner still wasn't there. Her mind briefly flashed to what James had said, about her partner being in a gang, but she quickly brushed it aside. _He's probably just sick, not busy dealing, or beating up bookies, or whatever people in gangs do._ She read over the instructions in the book again and began the experiment.

Class was nearly over by the time her partner showed up. Lily was in the middle of pouring hydrochloric acid into the ammonium solution when the door to the lab slammed open. She jumped in her seat, nearly dropping the test tube. She tightened her grip as she watched a boy with sallow skin and greasy hair meander up to Slughorn and hand him a note without a word. The boy turned and began to make his way toward her.

Lily put on a friendly smile as he sat down next to her. He paused, looking surprised for a moment before his black eyes hardened suspiciously. "Hello," Lily kept her voice light, fighting against the nervous block in her throat. "I'm Lily."

She waited for him to respond, but he only stared at her. "Your name is Severus, correct?"

There was another heavy pause as he continued to look with an unreadable expression, making her want to squirm. "Yes," he replied, his voice low.

"Well," Lily decided the best way to get past this awkwardness was to just get down to business. "So, we're working on Le Chatelier's Principle. You weren't in class last time, so if you need notes-"

"I know what Le Chatelier's Principle is," he interrupted.

Lily ignored Severus's rude tone. "Good. Well, I only have to pour the hydrochloric acid into the ammonium solution, and then we're done." She waited for him to say something, and when he didn't, she poured the acid and they watched as the solution turned clear.

Lily pulled the answer sheet towards her and wrote down the results. She hated the awkwardness between them, and floundered for something to say. "The purplish color originally was due to phenolphthalein. The darker the purple, the-"

"Larger the hydroxide ion concentration," Severus finished. He looked at her with some surprise, and Lily just barely held back a smug smirk.

Slughorn was making the rounds, stopping to check the progress at each lab table. Most people were still working on the experiment. He paused when he came to Lily and Severus. "That was rather quick work, Mr. Snape," the professor said.

Lily felt a flash of irritation. "Actually, sir," Lily turned at the sound of the oily voice next to her. Severus spoke in a careful, slow drawl, almost mumbling, and yet, it seemed like most of the other groups turned to stare at the sound of his voice. "Lily did all the work," he finished.

Slughorn turned to look at Lily, his eyes flashing with something Lily wanted to call greed. He picked up the answer sheet, and read her loopy handwriting. "Have you don't this lab before?" he asked.

Lily nodded, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "My tutor and I went over Le Chatelier's Principle when I was fifteen."

Slughorn smiled kindly. "I must say, Miss Evans, I am quite impressed. You and Mr. Snape here are bound to give the other students a run for their money." He walked off to check out another group's work, while Lily grinned to herself.

"Be careful."

Lily turned to look at Severus. He was watching her with hooded eyes, the unreadable expression still there, and Lily felt her throat stick again as her nerves returned. With his eyes looking so dark and mysterious, Lily could almost believe James's notion that Severus was part of a gang. She swallowed. "Why?" she asked cautiously.

"Slughorn. He likes to collect students," Severus explained.

Lily relaxed considerably. _You're letting James get into your head again._ "Collect students?"

Snape nodded. "Any students who have parents in powerful positions or show a proficiency in his subject, he tends to take them under his wing. They become members of his 'Slug Club'. You're intelligent and beautiful; he'll try to snatch you up." His face heated up at his words.

Lily smiled kindly. "Thanks for the heads up. Were you collected?"

Snape shrugged. "He tried."

Lily wanted to ask what that meant, but Slughorn called the class to attention. He went over the post-lab questions, preventing Lily from continuing her conversation with Severus. When the bell rang, he was up and out of his seat before anyone else had even moved.

Lily grabbed her books, and waited for Emmeline by the door. "Lily." She ignored James as he walked up to her, moving into the hall the instant Emmeline reached her side.

"Tough luck you've got Snape as your partner," Emmeline said as they started down the hall.

"He wasn't so bad," Lily said, adjusting her books.

"I guess," Emmeline replied nonchalantly. "He's just so creepy and weird, not to mention unclean looking. Plus, Peter told me he's a member of the Death Eaters."

Death Eaters. There was that word again. Lily wasn't sure what to think. Here she had two people saying one thing, and yet, Severus hadn't been hostile toward her. A bit closed off, but she hadn't necessarily felt like she was in danger.

"But, then again, I never trust anything Peter says," Emmeline continued. "And Snape's the smartest student in that class. Bit of a chemistry freak, if you ask me. Better than Peter anyways. Idiot had no idea what he was doing."

Lily nodded along as Emmeline continued to gab. Lily liked the blonde, but Emmelina did love to talk.

"Lily!" Lily turned at the count of her name and saw Amos Diggory making his way towards them.

"I'll see you later, Lily," Emmeline said, touching Lily's shoulder and grinning suggestively.

"Hey Lily," Amos said once he reached her side.

"Hi," Lily smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Amos replied. "Just got out of Spanish. That class is brutal."

"I know what you mean. I technically am a citizen of France now, but I can barely say 'Where is the Underground entrance?'"

"Guess we're both restricted to living in English speaking countries," Amos grinned. They walked down the hall, pausing outside McGonagall's class.

"This is me," Lily said, gesturing toward the classroom.

"Oh," Amos glanced briefly at the door. "Well, then… I'll ask you now. Before I lose my nerve," Lily smiled at him, puzzled. "You know this weekend is Hogsmeade, and I was wondering if you had a date?"

Lily felt her cheeks her up. "Oh," she said softly.

"NO! No, I mean if you want to go only as friends, I'm totally fine with that… but I wanted to ask before anyone else did."

Lily had forgotten that, as a seventh year, she had the privilege of visiting the local town. She looked at Amos, at his clean cut hair, blue eyes, and kind smile. He was the polar opposite of James, with his dark mess of hair, mischievous hazel eyes, and heart melting smirk. It would be a good idea for her to accept his invitation. What better way to get over James than to date someone who was nothing like him?

And yet… Lily still found herself hesitating. A part of her, an _incredibly foolish_ part of her, was still holding out hope that James would ask her.

At that moment, the devil himself walked into the corridor, stopping when he saw Lily and Amos talking. She thought about what she had heard the other day in the library. James really had seen her as just a summer fling. He had already moved on. Why shouldn't she?

Lily turned back to Amos and smiled, her mind made up. "Yes. I'll go to Hogsmeade with you."

Amos grinned hugely. He bent down and quickly kissed her cheek. Lily bit her lip, feeling her cheeks flood with color. "We can meet outside on the green at 10?"

Lily nodded, her smile growing larger as she started to get excited. "Sure."

"See you then, Lily," Amos started walking backwards.

"See you then," Lily called back, raising a hand to touch her cheek.

She turned to her class, resisting the urge to do a happy dance, and walked in to take her seat. She didn't notice the way James's face had paled, or see him punch the wall for the third time that week.

* * *

James was out of sorts for the rest of the day. He spent all of English glaring at the back of Lily's head, his mind replaying Amos's kiss, and Lily's blush and smile. Who the fuck did Amos think he was, asking James's Lily out?

Practice has been a trial. It had taken all of James's will power to not beat Amos senseless. He tried to pour his anger into physical activity, but after kicking the ball so hard, he accidentally hit a teammate in the stomach with it and knocked a teammate down, wheezing in pain, he realized nothing would make these feelings go away.

He stabbed at the kidney pie on his plate, his fork making hundreds of little holes in the golden crust. He spotted Lily a few tables away sitting with some girls from the field hockey team. She was telling some story that had the other girls in stitches. He watched as Amos passed by her seat. They made eye contact and he felt his anger flare up again at the smile the two shared.

_Not that you don't deserve this, you filthy hypocrite. Did you not sleep with another bird after an argument with Lily?_

He tried to ignore the voices in his head, but they refused to let him be.

_It's your own damn fault. You humiliated her in front of her new friends. You denied ever having actual feelings for her. You broke her heart. You deserve to be in pain._

His grip on his fork tightened and he felt the metal dig into his fingers.

_Lily should get a second chance. She should be with someone who actually appreciates her._

_I appreciate her!_

_Do you? Would you have done what you did if you_ really _appreciated her?_ Really _had feelings for her?_

_Of course I appreciate her! Of course I have feelings for her! I lov-_

"Prongs!"

James jolted as he felt something sharp poke him in the side. "What?" he snapped, glaring at Sirius, who had poked him with his fork.

Sirius gestured to James's own fork, which he had bent in his anger. James dropped the utensil, staring at it in shock. "What's with you?" Sirius demanded.

"Nothing," James said quickly, pushing away the disfigured fork and grabbing a new one.

"That's bullshit," Sirius said, turning so he was straddling the bench and facing James. "You've been off for weeks. Always distracted. What's up?"

James thought quickly, remembering the awful practice. "It's just football," he lied. "There's all this pressure since everyone thinks we're gonna be unbeatable this year, but at practice, I hit Young in the stomach with the ball, and I just feel bad for taking out our best winger." James sighed. He hadn't given his actions at practice proper thought, and was now realizing just truly how foolish he'd been.

Sirius stared at James for a long moment, and James wondered if Sirius saw through his lie. "You finished?" he asked instead, gesturing to the pie.

James blinked, taken aback. "Uh, yeah," he said.

"Good," Sirius stood up, pushing his plate away from himself. "Lemme just text Moony and Wormtail…"

Sirius trailed off, walking towards the exit. James followed along, tossing one last look over his shoulder at Lily. She glanced up and caught James's eye before quickly looking away. James did the same, meeting Sirius's gaze. Sirius looked over James's shoulder, spotting the redhead, and a look of understanding crossed his face. "You still hung up on that bird?" he gestured with his thumb.

"What? Are you mad?"James flicked Sirius on the forehead.

Sirius winced, looking annoyed. "Well, I just thought-"

"You? Think?" James chuckled. "Clearly you shouldn't do that," James wrapped an arm around Sirius's shoulders and led him from the dining hall. "What'd you text Wormtail and Moony about?"  
Sirius's eyes lit up and he grinned. "We're going to see Lucy."

An hour later, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all stood in a dingy garage thirty minutes outside of Hogsmeade. They all stood staring at a rusty motorcycle.

"Boys, meet Lucy," Sirius said proudly. "What d'ya think?"

There was silence before James started chuckling. "What a hunk of junk!" He high-fives Peter as the smaller boy doubled over laughing.

Sirius frowned defensively. "I'm gonna race 'er at Thunder Road."

"What? This jalopy?" Peter managed around his laughter.

Sirius got up in his face, poking Peter hard in the chest. Peter winced as Sirius hissed, "You're crusin' for a brusin'."

James glanced over at Remus, who was looking at the bike with a skeptical frown. James considered the bike again, and he started to see it all come together. Some new tires, and a seat without cracked leather, new paint job…

"What're ya boys doin' here?" A deep voice rumbled.

"Hagrid!" Sirius threw his hands in the air. "Finally, someone who talks sense." He stepped aside to show Hagrid his bike.

Hagrid walked a slow circle around it. "1963 Harley Davidson Panhead. Where'd you find this, Sirius?"

Sirius told Hagrid about tracking down some guy from Craigslist, but James was too busy watching Hagrid reaction.

Sirius and James had known Hagrid since they were eleven. The two had snuck out of the castle on a weeknight, and ended up getting lost. They'd found themselves in a sketchy pub called The Hog's Head. Hagrid had seen them and walked them back to Hogwarts. With his wild made of black hair and incredible height and breadth, the young boys had thought he was a giant.

As the years passed, the boys found time to sneak out to visit Hagrid. He owned the garage the boys were currently in, and he had taught the Marauders everything he knew about fixing up cars and bikes.

A giant black Tibetan Mastiff ran up to Remus and leaped onto his chest, throwing the boy off balance as the dog started licking his face. "Fang!" Hagrid growled. Hagrid also worked part-time at a rescue shelter and often brought home the animals he saved.

The mastiff backed off Remus and settled on a cot in the corner. "Senses his kin," James grinned at Remus. The boys often liked to joke that Remus was a werewolf, since the boy had a hard time falling and staying asleep at certain times each month, and his last name sounded close to the Latin word _lupus_ for wolf.

"It's a nice ride, Sirius," Hagrid began, running a hand down his long, tangled beard. "But yer missin' a part."

Sirius's brows furrowed. "What part?"

"The engine," Hagrid smirked as Peter started cracking up again.

Sirius groaned loudly. "Where am I supposed to find a new engine?"

Hagrid shrugged. "Migh' be somethin' 'roun here, or check tha' website again. I cou'd put in a call to Arthur Weasley. He's usually got some spare parts layin' 'roun. 'Course, Molly jus had twins…"

Sirius looked hopeful and turned to his friends. "So? You guys in?"

"I don't know," Remus hesitated.

"It'd be a lot of work," Peter whined.

Sirius gave them both disgusted looks and turned to James. "Prongs?"

James considered the bike again. He could see it all coming together in his head. "Yeah," he heard himself say. Peter and Remus turned to look at him like he was crazy while Sirius started to grin. "You know why? Because I can see the potential this bike has." He walked around the bike, hands smacking the handlebars. "This bike could be a real piece of machinery."

Peter snorted. James turned to him. "What are you riding Wormtail?" Peter sputtered, nothing coming out of his mouth. He turned to Remus. "Moony?" Remus held up his hands in surrender. "This bike could be a serious bird magnet," James had a brief fantasy of himself of the bike with Lily sitting behind him. Her long hair waving behind them, as her thighs and arms squeezed him, the two of them flying down a road. He found himself yearning to make that vision come to life. "I'm in."

Sirius came over and the two boys slapped hands. "Well?" he said, staring expectantly at the other Marauders.

Remus smiled and shrugged."You'll need someone to do all the research and negotiating, especially since you need a new engine."

Peter grinned as well. "I can hold the wrench."

Sirius smirked devilishly. "Let's get started then."

* * *

Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror, smoothing her hands down her body. She was wearing a floral v-neck top and a pair of dark wash hip-hugging skinny jeans, heeled boots on her feet. She was wearing her hair down and loose, and she'd paid extra care when applying her make-up that morning. She sprayed herself with some perfume, grabbed her purse and jacket, and headed out the door.

She fiddled with the strap of her bag as she descended the staircase. She was due to meet Amos for their date in Hogsmeade. She'd been looking forward to it all week; she needed a day of stress free fun. Alice, Dorcas, and Emmeline had all apologized about the chat in the dorm, and she'd forgiven them, though there remained a heaviness between them now. Marlene was just ignoring her, which Lily actually preferred. Things with James continued to be awkward, and Lily did the best she could to avoid him at all times. Needless to say Hogsmeade was looking especially good.

She spotted Amos waiting for her just outside the front doors, chatting with another bloke. He looked up and smiled when he saw Lily. "Hey! You look great!" He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

Lily grinned at him. "Hey! So do you."

"Lily, this is Benjy Fenwick. He lives in Hufflepuff dorm with me."

Lily turned to the other boy. He had curly hair, smooth brown skin, and a bright smile. "Hey," he said. "I love your top. It really compliments your eyes."

Lily felt her cheeks heat up slightly. "Thanks," she said. "Cool socks." She pointed to his socks peeking out of his trousers. They had little Darth Vader heads on them.

"Ready to go?" Amos asked, slipping on his jacket.

Lily nodded, pulling on her own jacket.

"I hope you don't mind if I walk with you," Benjy said. "I'm meeting my date in town."

"Not at all," Lily responded.

The walk to the village was quite pleasant. Lily found Benjy amusing, especially with the running commentary he made about the student body. "And so she ended up finding them, him with his pants around his ankles, and she just went berserk. She started throwing shit everywhere, and she ended up hitting him in the forehead with a stiletto and he had to get six stitches."

Lily covered her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles. "That's terrible!"

Benjy waved her off. "He got what he deserved. He'd been cheating on her for months, but she refused to believe it until it was staring her in the face. But that wasn't even the most dramatic break-up." Benjy's eyes twinkled mercilessly as he dished out the gossip.

"What was the worst?" Lily asked. She glanced at Amos, who rolled his eyes though he was smiling.

"Now, that would be James Potter and Marlene McKinnon," Benjy continued, unaware of how Lily paled at the names. "They weren't exclusive or anything, they were more FWBs, especially since none of the Marauders are known for keeping it in their pants," Lily felt like she was going to be sick as Benjy continued. "But they were not good for each other."

Lily swallowed some bile, trying to take calming breaths. "Why?" she squeaked. If either boy noticed, neither acknowledged her voice rising a few octaves. She knew she probably shouldn't be asking Benjy about James and Marlene, but she couldn't help herself; her curiosity was too great.

"They fought all the time. It was actually rather irritating. At first it was entertaining, but Marlene has got a quick temper, and she flew into a rage any time James so much as looked at another female. I guess James had had enough because he ended things right before summer hols," Benjy started chuckling. "Oh man did she make the biggest scene. It was during dinner the second week before that start of hols, and I guess he'd done broken things off earlier in the day, and she just exploded. She threw food, dumped drinks on his head, insulted his manhood, all sorts of things. And I swear to you, calm as anything, and covered in all sorts of food and drink, James turns to her while she's taking a moment to breathe, and goes, "Guess it's that time of the month again, huh?" Emmeline and Dorcas had to drag her from the hall."

Lily absorbed all this information. Well, this explained Marlene's brusque attitude towards Lily. "Do you think they'll get back together?" Lily couldn't help but ask.

Benjy made a face. "I don't think so. I think Marlene would want to; they fought often, but she always looked at him like he was a god."

"There's no way Potter would get back with her," Amos cut in for the first time. "He used to complain at practice all the time that it was like dating Mother Nature; it might look like sunny skies, but there's always a chance of a sudden thunderstorm. Plus, she keyed his car after the break up, and he loves that thing more than life itself."

"Besides," Benjy said. "Rumor has it that James met someone over the summer, and that it was rather serious." Lily could've sworn Benjy gave her a side glance.

"Potter?" Amos snorted disbelievingly. "No way."

"Maybe not, but James did change this summer."

Lily just barely held back a snort. "I heard he shagged a fifth year." She hoped she didn't sound too bitter.

"I'm not surprised," Benjy said slowly, and Lily definitely saw him give her a sideways glance. "But it did take him two weeks before that happened, which is a bit of a record for him. It's usually by the second day."

Amos looked up slightly, and gave Lily a questioning glance, as if just remembering something. "Wait. Lily, how do you know James?"

Lily could've slapped Amos. It was plainly clear that Benjy was a gossip and from the look he was giving Lily, she had a feeling he'd guessed correctly about who she was in correlation to James. "Alice introduced me to him when she was showing me around," Lily quickly supplied. Amos nodded, but Benjy looked skeptical. "So, where are we going anyways?" Lily changed the subject.

"I was thinking the Three Broomsticks," Amos said. "Madame Rosemerta serves great lunches."

When they entered the pub, Benjy said goodbye and walked over to a booth where a cute blonde bloke was sitting.

Amos led Lily to a table in the middle of the pub, and they both sat down, glancing at their menus. Lily picked out what she wanted to eat, then glanced around.

The place was filled with students and the occasional villager. The interiors was bit dark, with wood everywhere, from the booths to the tables to the floors. The walls were a navy color and covered in photographs, some looking years old and others more recent. The light fixtures cast dim slips of golden light on each table and booth. There was a long bar at the front of the room, a cabinet filled with booze behind it. There was music playing in the background - Lily thought it might've been some 70s rock her father liked to listen to - and she noticed a jukebox in the corner. It looked so out of place in the pub, with its vintage look and bright pink and blue coloring. Above the front door, Lily noticed a broom in a case. It looked ancient, like its bristles would fall off if someone slammed the door too hard.

"What's with the broomstick?" Lily asked Amos.

He chuckled. "Rumor is the Three Broomsticks was founded by a witch, and that was the broom she used to get around on."

Lily grinned. "Witches. Really? Like, the ones who fly on brooms, and use wands, and wear pointy hats?"

Amos shrugged. "That's the rumor."

Just then, a women walked over. She was slightly older than Lily, maybe mid-twenties, and very pretty with curly dark hair and kind brown eyes. "Amos!" she exclaimed. "It's been too long."

"Hey Rosie," Amos smiled. "It's good to see you. How are you?"

"Busy," Rosie responded, huffing out a breath. She looked at Lily. "Who's your friend?"

"Lily, this is Madame Rosemerta. She owns this fine establishment. Rosie, this is Lily Evans. She's new this year."

" _You're_ Lily?" the barmaid asked with wide eyes.

Lily looked at Amos, confused, before looking back at Rosie. "Um, yes," she said cautiously.

"Oh my goodness! You're gorgeous!" Rosie exclaimed.

Lily felt her cheeks heat. "Um, thank you," she said. "But if you don't mind me asking, how do you know who I am?"

"Oh," Madame Rosemerta's cheeks heated slightly. "Sorry, I've just been hearing all the students talk about you, and I was curious."

"Oh."

"So, what are you kids getting?" Rosie asked. Amos and Lily gave their orders. The barmaid hesitated a second before she walked away, looking over Lily again. Lily thought she heard Rosie mutter, "Foolish Golden Boy," as she headed back to the bar to put their orders in.

"Well, that was strange," Lily said, turning back to Amos. "I feel like that keeps happening to me. I keep waiting for the novelty of the New Girl to wear off."

"I don't know if it ever will," Amos said, smiling as Rosie placed a Coke in front of Lily and a buttercream soda in front of Amos. "As people get to know you better, they'll realize you're pretty amazing and be even more in awe of you."

Lily felt her cheeks color again, and she grinned at Amos. He was so sweet, and considerate, and he felt safe. Lily wanted safe, needed safe. Plus, Lily enjoyed spending time with him, since he was charming and funny, and Lily knew he would never hurt her. And yet… there was no spark with Amos. Whatever was between them felt platonic, at least to Lily.

"I'm gonna run to the loo, real quick," Amos stood up and left the table.

The door to the pub opened, and Alice and Frank walked in. Alice waved to Lily, the couple moving to sit at a booth across from Lily's table. A few minutes later, Marlene stalked in, followed by Emmeline and Dorcas. The trio sat in a booth near the back.

Amos returned from the loo just as their food arrived. Lily listened as Amos told stories about his three brothers, and their antics, stealing a chip every now and then from his plate.

"-so I told Tommy, 'No way you make it down that hill on your skateboard.' But he did. Nearly broke his arm, but he did it. When Mum found out, she nearly-"

Amos's story was cut short by a loud exclamation. "Rosie!"

Lily turned and saw Sirius Black standing in the doorway, his arms spread wide as he beamed at the barmaid. Behind him walked two of his friends. Lily had recently learned that the short chubby one was Peter Pettigrew. She'd listened to Emmeline complain about him on a near daily basis. The skinny, tall boy with light brown hair who Lily had run into was Remus Lupin. She had a few classes with him and found him to be rather pleasant when he wasn't around his friends.

She knew where the three Marauders went meant the fourth was never far behind. Lily watched Rosie walk around the counter putting her hands on her hips and smiling flirtatiously at Sirius. James walked in and threw his arm around the barmaid, so she was in between the two boys. Madame Rosemerta leaned towards James and whispered something in his ear, causing a flash of jealousy to shoot through Lily. She quickly turned back to Amos. "So, what'd your mum do?" she asked with feigned nonchalance.

Amos blinked, looking away from the scene by the door. He grinned as Lily stole some more chips. "Excuse me, but I do believe you have your own food."

Lily grinned back. "Yes, but I don't have chips." She snatched another one to prove the point.

"But you've got a lovely side salad," he pointed out, gesturing to the untouched pile of greens on Lily's plate.

Lily gave him a dubious look. "You can have it then," she said as Amos laughed.

"Someone snaking ya, James?"

Lily looked over at Marlene's carrying voice. She saw the brunette standing next to the Marauders' table, grinning maliciously down at James. She had one hand on her hips, the other leaning against the top of the booth as she loomed over him. She jerked her head very obviously in Lily and Amos's direction. Lily had a feeling Marlene was trying to cause a scene, and Lily only hoped James wouldn't give in to her.

She glanced at the dark haired boy to find him glaring murderously in their direction. He turned his gaze to Marlene, his lips curling. "Go bite the weanie, Mar," he dismissed, turning away from her in disgust.

Marlene's smile faltered for a second before returning full force. "With relish," she proclaimed. She turned her smirk to Sirius now. "I'll see you _later_ , Black." She trailed her fingers under Sirius's jaw before strutting back to her table, hips swinging more than usual, Sirius staring after her like a dog does a bone.

"Those four always cause a scene," Amos said, shaking his head. Lily wondered if he had noticed James's glare as well.

There was a love ballad playing now over the speakers, and it was making Lily angry. "I'm going to change the music," she told Amos.

"Here," he said, pulling some change from his pocket.

Lily accepted the change and stood up from the table, walking to the front of the pub. She said hello to people she recognized from class, and received more than a few appreciative glances. She was glad she wore her hip-hugging jeans, as she knew they made her butt look great. She could feel his eyes on her the whole time and felt a perverse satisfaction in his jealousy.

Unfortunately, she had to pass by his table to get to the front of the pub. Sirius had his legs out in the aisle, blocking her path. He whistled as she walked by, sliding his legs back at the last minute. She shot him a dirty look over her shoulder.

She stopped in front of the jukebox and began to scroll through the music. She wasn't surprised when he walked up next to her. "Hi Lily," he said softly.

"Hi James," she replied coolly, not taking her eyes off the music selection.

"How've you been?" he asked. He sounded a bit uncertain.

"Spec-tacular," Lily replied dryly. She turned a page on the jukebox.

"Good. That's good," James breathed. He shifted, running a hand through his hair. "Look, Lil, we really need to talk. You need to know that wasn't me that night-"

"And that's what I love about Amos," Lily cut him off, finally looking up at James. He was frowning as he looked at Amos over her shoulder. She turned back to the jukebox and finally selected Nancy Sinatra's 'These Boots Are Made For Walkin'. "He's genuine, honest. I know he'll always be straightforward with me."

"Lil-" James started, but she cut him off again.

"Not to mention handsome, kind, and mature." They both looked over at Amos, who had his phone out and was swiping his finger across the screen, playing some sort of game.

James snorted. "Oh yeah. _Real_ mature."

Lily turned to him in fury. "Mature enough not to play with people's hearts," she spat.

James's eyes widened. Lily walked around him, stepping away when she saw him try to reach for her. He froze, looking uncertain for a moment before determination settled in his gaze. He grabbed her wrist and started dragging her behind the bar. Lily was too shocked to put up a fight or to protest. Madame Rosemerta ignored them as James dragged her into a storeroom and shut the door.

He backed Lily into a wall, and stood in front of her, arms on either side of her head, and boxing her in. Lily remembered the last time he'd done this. He'd pressed her up against a beam under the dock, his body against hers, his hands in her hair as he whispered how much he liked her. The expression on James's face told her he was thinking of the same moment.

He shook his head, and fixed his hazel eyes on her. "Lily, just listen," he started, pausing to see if she'd fight him. When she didn't, he went on. "I am _so_ sorry about that night at the bonfire. I didn't mean a word I said, I swear. This summer…" he trailed off, searching for the right words. "It was different from every other moment of my life. I felt like I could actually be myself, and that was because of you. You didn't know who I was or where I came from, and you treated me differently than everyone else does. The way you view the world, the way you viewed me… You had no expectations and you just accepted me for who I was. I've never felt the way I feel when I'm with you, and it kills me to see you everyday and know I hurt you so much."

"Then why did you do it?" Lily asked, her voice threatening to crack.

James ran an agitated hand through his hair and backed away from her, certain she wouldn't leave now. "I don't know, Lil. It just… came out. I have this image here, and whenever I'm at Hogwarts, a different James, my alter ego, my… Mr. Hyde, I guess you could say, comes out. And I'm not trying to excuse my actions, because there is no excuse. I just _need_ you to know how sorry I am and how much I hate myself for hurting you."

There was a heavy silence, the only sound was their breathing and the muted noise from the pub. James broke the silence first. "I don't dare to hope… but…. is there any way you could forgive me, Lil?"  
He was looking at her so imploringly, his eyes filled with self-loathing and hope, and a strong emotion Lily refused to acknowledge. She looked away, unable to talk while looking him in the eye. "I don't know, James," she said, somehow managing to talk around the block in her throat. "My brain keeps getting confused. I see you and I see Summer James, but then he gets eclipsed by your… Mr. Hyde side, and I get confused. I don't know which you is real."

He stepped close to her again, and cupped her cheek. Lily knew she should probably push him away, but she couldn't. She'd missed his touch too much."The James you met in the summer, he's real. This, everything else, Mr. Hyde or whatever, he's just a mask, a façade. Please Lily, _please_. Give me another chance."

Lily closed her eyes, feeling his warm palm against her skin, his breath against her lips. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to say yes so badly, but she couldn't do that to herself. Not again. "I can't, James," she said softly. She watched the blow land, James stumbling a step back as though someone shot him in the heart. "I can't be with someone who always wears a mask because I'll always second guess everything he says and does." She breathed deeply and took a step towards him. She put her hands on his cheeks and stared meaningfully into his eyes. "But, if you can find a way to get rid of the mask… I-I would _consider_ giving you a second chance. I'm not promising to wait for you, but if you can find a way to be Summer James all the time, I'd consider it. But until that happens," she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. "Goodbye James."

She gave him one last look before exiting the storeroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes:
> 
> Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Just wanted to point out a few things...
> 
> 1\. Peter's "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" Emmeline's "No, but I did scrape me knees when I crawled up from Hell". I really wish I could take credit for this, but unfortunately, it was a dialogue I found on tumblr. I'm not sure who originated this phrasing, but thank you for your genuis!
> 
> 2\. FWBs stands for "friends with benefits", in case anyone didn't know
> 
> 3\. The song Lily picks on the jukebox, "These Boots Are Made For Walkin" is purposefully picked. Look up the lyrics or listen to it on YouTube, but Lily is trying to tell James something through the music
> 
> 4\. I imagine Amos as playing fruit ninja. I don't know why, I just do
> 
> 5\. Okay, so the whole Mr. Hyde thing I'm sure seems weird, so I'll clarify. James is trying to explain that Summer James is his Dr Jekyll, his good side, while his Mr. Hyde side, his bad side, is who he is when he's at school. Hope that clarifies some.
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo Evie


	5. Chapter IV: Those Magic Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.

IV. Those Magic Changes

_"Those magic changes my heart arranges_

_A melody that's never the same, a melody that's calling your name_

_It begs you please, come back to me_

_Please, return to me"_

Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror as she brushed her hair. She was thinking about that moment in the storeroom with James. Having him so close, breathing the scent of his skin, the way his eyes had travelled over her face… they had all brought back her feelings from the summer, dimming the betrayal and sadness she'd been feeling around him for the past few months. Lily wasn't comfortable that James seemed to have such a power over her that she couldn't help herself around him, that just his presence made her forget all the pain. How was she supposed to protect herself if James only needed to breathe on her to make her let him back into her life?

A considerable part of her was dying to tell James she forgave him and wanted to give him a second chance. That had been the part that had driven her to kiss his cheek, that had been overwhelmed. But the other part of her was still angry, and hurt, and disappointed. Neither side trusted James anymore, and she knew it would take her a long time to fully forgive him, even if some of her was softening.

She sighed, putting her brush down finally. She pulled out her pajamas to change into for bed, just as the door to the dorm opened. Lily glanced over and saw Marlene and Emmeline walk in. They walked over to Marlene's bed, Emmeline sitting down at the end of the mattress, while Marlene stared at her reflection in the mirror hanging over her armoire door.

"So, what's going on with you and Black?" Emmeline asked.

Marlene smiled coyly at her inquiry. "He's meeting me in five," she replied.

"Sooooo, are you guys a thing?" Emmeline pushed.

Neither girl had noticed Lily, whose bed hangings hid the redhead partially from their view. Lily gathered her pajamas and quickly climbed onto her mattress as quietly as she could. She could still hear the girls' conversation, but they wouldn't be able to see her. She pulled her bed hangings aside slightly so she could watch the scene through the slit.

Marlene pouted at her reflection, pulling out a tube of lipstick to apply. "He took me to the drive-in last night," she said nonchalantly before smearing the bright red color on.

"Did you guys…?" Emmeline pressed.

Marlene grinned wickedly at her reflection. "Oh yeah."

Emmeline grinned back, squealing as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "How was it?"

Marlene shrugged, now applying more mascara. "Everyone always talks about how Black is the best shag, but James just…" Marlene paused, the mascara wand hoving in the air in front of her dark eyes, and she got a kind of dreamy look. Lily felt her stomach clench. "But then again," Marlene paused thoughtfully. "We did get interrupted."

"Interrupted?"

"Yeah. James let Sirius borrow his car, and you know how much he loves that thing. Well, anyways, Sirius had just pulled out a rubber when he spotted a car behind us about to hit the bumper. Sirius had a conniption fit! He yanked on his boxers, got out of the car, hard on and all, and started screaming at the driver. It turned out to be that Malfoy bloke."

"The Death Eater?" Emmeline gasped. "They didn't get into a fight or anything, right?"

There was that name again, Death Eaters. So James hadn't been lying about the gang after all. That didn't mean he was right about Severus, but Lily still felt something warm, like hope, or reassurance, spread through her chest.

"Nah," Marlene replied casually. "Malfoy's too vain; wouldn't want Sirius to mess up his mug. Plus, that Narcissa bitch was with him and she just kept whining about wanted to leave."

Emmeline nodded, leaning back on her hands. "But you still got with Sirius?"

Marlene nodded. "Yeah, but his heart just wasn't in it-"

"As long as something was," Emmeline wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"-plus the condom broke."

"Wait, what?" Emmeline cried, sitting upright. "And you still shagged?"

Marlene shrugged, while Emmeline looked pissed. "Marlene Bridgette McKinnon, that was an incredibly stupid thing to do! All the girls he sleeps with, you've probably got chlamydia now, not to mention you could get pregnant!"

Marlene adjusted her top to reveal more of her generous cleavage. "I made him pull out before he finished," she shrugged again, glancing at Emmeline's disgusted expression. "Oh, lighten up, Em. It's fine. I'm not going to get an STD or pregnant." She grabbed her purse. "Look," she pulled out a handful of condoms. "It was only once. It'll be fine."

"It only takes one time, Mar," Emmeline rebuked, her voice hard.

"You're too uptight. Who are you? Lilywhite?" Marlene didn't wait for a reply, grabbing her pink leather jacket and her purse, and walking to the door. "Gotta jet. Don't wait up, Ma."

The door slammed behind the brunette's exit. Lily looked at Emmeline who was shaking her head. "Oh, Marlene," she breathed. She got up from Marlene's bed and walked over to her own.

* * *

James had noticed a change over the past few weeks, Lily had stopped pretending he didn't exist. That didn't mean she was going out of her way to talk to him, but she would greet him when they saw each other in class and nod if they passed in the hall. James hadn't felt so good in months.

The guilt was still there, as was the self-loathing. He knew he would never be able to a hundred percent forgive himself, but there was also a much lighter feeling hanging around him now: hope. Lily hadn't given him a yes, hadn't promised him anything, but she had told him he would get a chance to prove himself. So that's what James was going to do.

He stopped skipping the majority of his classes, much to Sirius's chagrin. To make it up to him, the boys had started working on the bike at least two times a week. Most baffling to Sirius, and that student body as a whole, was that James hadn't been seen even chatting with a person of the opposite gender since Hogsmeade.

"Dude, what's up?" Sirius asked, confounded, as he and James watched a particularly attractive, yet desperate brunette walk away from them, deflated. She'd all, but begged James to come spend an hour with her in her dorm, but he'd declined.

James shrugged. "Nothing." He started walking away, heading to the dining hall for dinner.

"No," Sirius scrambled after him. "You're clearly not okay. You just turned away a ridiculously fine bird, who was begging you, begging you, to fuck her brains out!"

James made a face. "So crude, Padfoot." He sat down at the table and started scooping mashed potatoes onto his plate.

Sirius stared at him with his mouth agape. "This is about that bird, isn't it? The one with the red hair and great stems from the summer?"

"Her name is Lily," James said automatically as he scooped up some string beans next. "Why does this bother you so much?"

"Because you're James Potter! You don't change who you are just because of some bird. Does she have cherry flavored nipples or something?"

James glared at Sirius, stabbing his fork into his piece of flank steak a tad too hard. "Watch it, Sirius," he warned. He turned back to his meal. "Lily isn't just some bird." He snuck a glance at Sirius who looked confused, but he didn't elaborate further. "Besides, I never said it was about her. I just think it's time we grew up. We're going to be eighteen soon; we need to stop acting like fifteen-year-old wankers and start getting serious."

"I already am," Sirius's joke fell flat, and their conversation ended. Afterwards, Sirius avoided talking to James for the rest of the night, too busy contemplating James's words.

The next day at practice, James found himself thinking over his own words to Sirius. He'd just made them up on the spot so he wouldn't have to listen to Sirius complain about James changing for a girl, but now that he thought about it, it made sense. He needed to start being responsible, especially since he would be held accountable for his actions later.

He signaled for Frank to pass the ball to him, taking it down the field. He dodged his defender, and kicked the football as hard as he could, watching as it soared into the goal. Hooch blew her whistle. "Good hustle, Potter!" she called. "Okay, A and D, you're off. B and C, you're on."

James walked off the field with the other three members of his team. They were scrimmaging in practice to prepare for their game against Beaubaxtons.

He walked over to the bench, grabbing his water bottle, and taking a long drink. He looked out at the other playing fields. There were a few teams holding practice. Nearest to the football team were the cheerleaders and the girls' field hockey team. James turned his attention to the field hockey team, since the cheerleaders were just standing around talking. It looked like the girls were scrimmaging as well. As he watched, he saw a girl with a number three on her back steal the ball off her opponent's stick. She started making her way down the field, her teammates cheering her on. A defender stepped in her path, trying to steal the ball. The girl hit the ball to the left before dragging her stick to the right, the dodge happening so quickly, James was sure he would've missed it if he blinked. The girl dribbled the ball closer to the goal, before hitting it slightly to her left again as another defender came at her. She lowered her stick to the ground, and whipped it around, the sound of fiberglass hitting the plastic ball echoing. The girl fell onto her side from the force of her swing, as the goalie lunged for the ball. But the goalie messed up, as the ball passed through the her feet and hit the back of the wooden goal with a resounding thud.

Number three's team cheered, running over to help her up. "Good job, Evans!" the coach called as the girl lifted her cage to reveal brilliant green eyes filled with confidence and a hint of cockiness. James blinked as he watched Lily high-five a teammate. As he thought about it, he remembered seeing Lily in a uniform at the bonfire, but he hadn't suspected her to be as good of a field hockey player as she was.

He watched Lily and her teammates jog over to their water cooler, Lily still getting compliments. "You need to teach me how to do a left sweep, Lily. That was sick!"

"Of course, Mary. It's really not so hard. It's all about your hips and how you-"

"You're Lily?" An incredulous voice cut Lily off.

James turned to see where the voice came from and felt his stomach drop. He saw Lily's face turn wary. "Yeah," she said cautiously.

The cheerleaders had moved closer to the fockey girls' practice, checking out Lily's goal. One girl in particular, a certain curly-haired fifth year, was staring at Lily in disbelief, her hands on her hips. She looked Lily up and down, clearly unimpressed with what she saw. "You're Lily?" she asked again.

Lily exchanged a look with Mary. "I just said yes," she replied in a tone that implied she thought she was talking to a five year old. She placed her own hands on her hips, saying, "Can I help you with something?"

The fifth-year shook her head, still shocked. "There is no way you could be that Lily."

Lily cocked an eyebrow, looking supremely vexed, and crossed her arms over her chest. "And if I am?" she asked, her tone hinting at a challenge.

James felt his stomach drop again, the color drain from his face. Fuck. Lily knows.

The fifth-year paled as well. "You know about that?"

Lily nodded just as James heard his name shouted. "Potter! Heads up!" He felt something hit the back of his head, saw a starburst, and then everything went black…

…"James. James, wake up."

James groaned. Fuck, his head hurt. What the hell happened?

James could hear multiple voices. It sounded like someone was yelling and multiple someones were crying, but he focused on the voice talking to him directly. It was soft and warm, yet firm. There was a slight musical note to it, a note James recognized. He grinned inwardly as he listened to one of his favorite sounds.

"James, please wake up."

He thought he could detect a slight note of panic in the voice, and he longed to reassure it that there was no need to panic, he was fine.

"James, if you can hear me, open your eyes."

He focused on doing what the voice asked, though he longed to just lay there and listen for longer. It took some effort, but he managed it. He groaned as bright light caused his head to pound even more.

A face materialized, and moved to block the light. He saw brilliant green eyes smiling down at him in relief. "Hooch," the beautiful voice called, her eyes never leaving his. "He's awake."

The yelling stopped abruptly, and Hooch came into James's line of vision. "Potter, you were hit with the ball," she said, glaring at a sheepish looking McNally over her shoulder. "How do you feel?"

"Fine," James responded instantly. He started to sit up, and was hit with a sharp pain at the back of his skull and a wave of dizziness. He groaned again and instantly laid back down.

"Fuck," Hooch muttered under her breath. "Longbottom, go get Pomfrey," she barked. "McNally, it better not be a concussion."

While Hooch went back to berating McNally, James became aware of his surroundings. His teammates were standing around looking both amused and concerned. A few members of the cheerleading squad were crying, while the field hockey girls bit their lips in worry. What he was most most aware of, though, was the fact that he was laying with his head in Lily's lap.

She was sifting her fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling.

"Don't close your eyes, James," Lily warned, her tone urgent.

"I'm okay, Lil," he mumbled, though he opened his eyes. Lily was staring down at him in concentration. He winced when her fingers brushed against a lump on the back of his head. "Ow."

"Sorry," she said, brushing her fingers lightly against the lump again. "That's a big bump." She leaned over, staring into his eyes. Their faces were so close, he had the urge to reach up and pull her lips down to his. "Your pupils aren't dilated," she murmured. "I don't think you have a concussion."

"Skull's too thick," James replied softly.

Lily grinned and leaned back. James wished she hadn't. "Won't argue with that," she said.

"Nice goal, by the way," James said, resisting the urge to close his eyes as Lily massaged his temples, helping the headache recede slightly.

"You saw that?" she asked, surprised.

He smirked. "Yeah. Pretty badass." He grinned wider as her cheeks heated up.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"Evans." They both looked at Hooch as Madame Pomfrey made her way through the crowd.

Madame Pomfrey knelt down next to them and started examining James. "I don't think he has a concussion," Lily told the nurse. "He recognized me, he isn't slurring his words, and his pupils are normal."

"What's your name?" the nurse asked James.

"James Fleamont Potter." Pomfrey also asked him for the date, and who the first prime minister was before confirming Lily's assumptions. "No concussion, but I suggest he sits out the next couple of practices."

"I can't do that, Ms," James protested, sitting up quickly and getting dizzy again. He tried to hide it, but he felt Lily's hands on his back, helping him sit up. "We've got a game to prepare for."

"And if you want to play in that game, Mr. Potter, you will sit out the next two practices," the nurse commanded.

James scowled, but shut up at the warning look from Hooch. He felt Lily put extra pressure on his back, reassuring him.

Two of his teammates helped him stand, and he was instantly crowded by the cheerleaders and field hockey girls. "Oh James! I'm so glad you're okay!" the curly-haired fifth year cried, her eyes rimmed red and black as her mascara ran from her tears. The girls around her all nodded their heads solemnly.

James watched Lily pick herself up off the ground, and dust off her skirt. "Uh, thanks ladies," he said. "Don't you all have practice?" He didn't wait for their answers, walking over to Lily.

He touched her arm lightly, and she looked up at him, trying to appear casual, but he thought he saw a hint of jealousy in her eyes. "Hey, uh, thanks for taking care of me," James said, running a hand through his hair and wincing when he hit the bump.

Lily gave him a shy smile and he felt his heart rate pick up. "It was nothing," she said, playing with the ends of her skirt.

He allowed himself to take in her appearance. She was wearing her uniform: a tight spandex top the left little to the imagination, and matching maroon skirt that fell about mid thigh. Her cage sat on the top of her head, and her hair was pulled back in a long ponytail. Her shinguards and sneakers were covered in mud, and she smelt strongly of sweat and rubber, yet she still was the most beautiful person to him. "I like your uniform," he heard himself say. Lily cocked an eyebrow, and he grinned roguishly. "Though, you'd fill out a nurse's uniform quite nicely as well."

Her cheeks instantly flooded with color, making James smile wider. "Oh you… you... ugh!" She couldn't seem to find anything to say, so she crossed her arms over her chest and stormed back to her teammates. She glanced over her shoulder, though, and he swore he saw her biting back a grin.

* * *

"Hey Lily!" Amos called, jogging to catch up to her. "How are you?"

"Hey Amos. I'm good. On my way to English. You?" Lily asked politely. Amos had been spending a lot of time around her lately, ever since their date in Hogsmeade.

Lily had walked out of the storeroom and back towards Amos. By some strange luck, it had seemed that no one had noticed James pull Lily into a private, remote area. She'd reached the table and had asked if they could leave, claiming to have cramps. On their walk back to the castle, Lily had told Amos she only wanted to be friends. He'd taken it well, though he had looked disappointed.

Lily looked up at Amos now and wondered if she'd made the right choice in choosing to remain friends with him. Everything she'd considered in the pub still fluttered around in her brain, telling her Amos would be good for her, a way to move on. But her thoughts never made it past her lips. She couldn't give Amos what he wanted since her heart kept refusing to give in.

It appeared that despite Lily's request that they keep a platonic relationship, Amos was determined to change her mind. He kept scoping her out between classes, and joining her when she ate her meals with her teammates - never when she sat with her dorm mates. Lily suspected it was because he was afraid of Marlene. Maybe I should remind him that I only want his friendship…

"I've got a free slot now," Amos responded. "Uh, hey. So, um, I've got this big Spanish exam on Thursday, and I was going to study in the library later. I remember you saying you suffer through French, so… I thought maybe… we could suffer together."

Lily hesitated before responding. What's the best answer? Studying seemed harmless enough, but she didn't want to lead Amos on. She glanced at the hopeful expression on his face and felt her resolve weakening. "Okay. Sure," she replied. At his huge grin, Lily knew she'd made the wrong decision.

"Great!" He looked like he wanted to hug her, but he thankfully restrained himself. "I'll see you later, then."

"Bye," Lily replied uncomfortably. Fuck.

She walked into English, plopping down at her desk and burying her face in her folded arms. Why do blokes have to be so clueless?

"Rough day?"

Lily glanced up as James dropped into his seat. He gave her a small smirk.

Lily shrugged. "I just have a feeling it's not going to end well," she replied. McGonagall walked in and started class, preventing any further conversation.

They had been acting civil to each other ever since Hogsmeade. James didn't go out of his way to seek out Lily, and neither did she him, but when they passed each other, or had class together, they at least acknowledged one another. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. Though she'd never admit it out loud, Lily had missed talking to and being around James for all those weeks she'd ignored him, so she was glad for even these awkward, forced pleasantries. She remembered the way his eyes had traveled over her the other day on the football field, and felt her body heat up and tingle in ways that made her shift in her seat.

McGonagall ended her lecture a little earlier than usual to discuss the first buddy assignment. "We have just finished Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, and Frances Burney's Evelina before that. For your first assignment, I would like you to do write a joint close reading essay on a theme from either one of these novels. Further, I would like you to connect this theme to a contemporary problem in the world. So, discussing the knowledge we have on biology today, to what was studied in 1818, or comparing marriage laws in 1778 to the laws we currently follow. Your rough draft will be due in two weeks; you will find out the final draft due date at that time."

She gave them the rest of the class to meet with their partners to discuss times to work on the essay.

James turned around. "I have practice everyday after classes, and I'm guess you do too?" Lily nodded. "Well, we could meet tonight. I'm free any time after seven."

Lily frowned, stuffing her books into her bag. "I can't meet tonight. I already told someone I'd meet them in the library to study. We could meet tomorrow."

Lily saw James's jaw tense, but he managed to keep his expression neutral. "Tomorrow should be fine," he replied with forced casualness. "Who are you meeting?"

Lily winced, debating whether it would be the best idea to tell James who she was meeting with. She'd experienced his jealous tendencies over the summer, and knew he would probably throw a fit. Still, she reasoned with herself, it would be better if she told him, so he wouldn't hear it from someone else. Also, if James really wanted a second chance with her, he would react to the news maturely. "Amos," she said softly, the slightest hint of hesitation in her tone.

James's eyes flashed dangerously, his lips pulling down into a frown, but all he said was, "Oh."

The bell rang, and James fled the room before anyone else had gathered their things, leaving Lily feeling pleasantly surprised in his wake.

Later, Lily found herself walking into the library with a feeling of dread. She scanned the tables, looking for Amos, but he appeared to not have arrived yet. She found an open table and started taking out her textbook and French notes. She was examining her assignment planner, when she looked up to see Severus sitting at a table across from hers. She smiled and waved, Severus nodding his head in response. She was tempted to ask him to come join her so she wouldn't be alone with Amos, but never got the chance as the aforementioned person had arrived.

"Hey Lily. You look great," Amos said as he plopped down and took out his own books.

Lily glanced down at herself. She'd changed into an old pair of leggings and her Star Wars t-shirt. Not exactly what she'd call great. "Uh, thanks, Amos," she replied.

She started on her French homework, expecting Amos to start studying as well, but it quickly became apparent that Amos wasn't too interested in studying. He started talking about football practice, then asking her how field hockey practice went, before continuing on to play a game of Twenty Questions, asking everything from what her favorite color was to her thoughts on Brexit. When he asked about her parents, she cut him off.

"Don't you need to study?" Lily interrupted.

Amos's cheeks flamed, but he nodded, turning to his unopened books for the first time.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief internally. She was definitely going to need to remind Amos that she wanted a platonic relationship with him.

There was a good fifteen minutes of silence before Amos broke it again, this time to complain about members of the football team who were annoying him. Lily was about ready to rip her hair out when they were luckily interrupted.

"Hey Lil," Lily looked up to see James standing over their table. "Diggory," he said, nodding to Amos.

"Hey Potter. I was just telling Lily about Stratford's sloppy blocking skills in practice today," Amos informed the newcomer.

James glanced at Lily, his lips twitching as he fought back a smirk at Lily's irritated glare. "Yeah. We'll have to work on that before the match against Beaubaxtons."

"Anyways, what are you doing here. Lost or something?" Amos chuckled at his own joke.

James shook his head, his eyes filled with mirth. "Nope. Lil and I were supposed to meet tonight to discuss ideas for an essay for McGonagall."

"That was for tomorrow night," Lily said through gritted teeth, though a part of her was glad James was here. She tried to focus on being irritated at James's thinly veiled amusement at Amos's confused and slightly hurt expression. "I told you I was busy with Amos tonight."

"Huh," James said, not even pretending to be confused. "Must've gotten the dates mixed up. Well, since I'm here…" and he threw himself into a spare chair, his long limbs everywhere.

Lily glanced at Amos who merely shrugged, no help at all. Lily looked back at James. "Can't we just do this tomorrow?"

"No time like the present Evans," James replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "So, I was thinking we should do our essay on blame in rape culture."

Lily stared blankly at him, taken aback for a moment. "What?"

"Well, you know, in Evelina, she gets harassed by all these really aggressive blokes for the duration of the novel, and they're always like, 'We just can't help ourselves; you're too beautiful.' Especially that Orville arse. I mean talk about not taking no for an answer."

Lily blinked. "You actually read the book?" she asked stupidly.

James just shrugged, looking amused. "Of course. Anyways, I thought we could take scenes, from the novel where Evelina gets harassed and connect it to how females tend to get blamed when they're raped today. All that, 'She was drunk' and 'She dressed promiscuous' stuff," he paused, glancing at Lily's still dumbfounded expression. "Unless you've got something else?"

Lily shook her head. "No. I-I think it's a brilliant idea."

James grinned smugly and Lily felt butterflies spread their wings in her stomach. "Brilliant. Guess we didn't need to take too much time to brainstorm. We can meet tomorrow to do some research if you're free."

Lily nodded, unable to say anything. From what she'd heard and seen in the last few months, none of the Marauders aside from Remus seemed to give a damn about school work, and yet, here was James practically writing the essay in under ten minutes.

"I'll be right back," James stood up and disappeared into the shelves, Lily staring after him with her mouth slightly open in amazement.

"Well, that was strange," Amos commented, not sounding all-too-happy about this strangeness.

"Yeah," Lily muttered under her breath. She turned back to Amos, his expression like he'd sucked on a sour lemon. "I'm sure he just wants to get the project done as quickly as possible so he doesn't have to deal with it for too long," Lily amended. She didn't know why, but she felt like she needed to explain James's strange behavior. She certainly couldn't tell Amos she suspected the sudden change in attitude might've had to do with a certain chat in a storeroom.

Amos was still frowning when Lily felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up to see Severus standing behind her chair. "Good evening Lily. Diggory," he said.

Lily saw that Amos had tensed. Lily had noticed that this tended to happen often when people interacted with Severus. If he minded the tension people always seemed to express around him, he never gave any indication.

"Hello Severus," Lily said in a friendly voice. "Having a nice night?"

Severus nodded. "I wanted to give you a heads up," he said, his words directed at Lily, but his eyes scanning Amos warily. "Slughorn is having a Slug Club party next week, and he will most likely ask if you want to join. I thought it best if I gave you a fair warning."

Lily nodded. "Thanks Sev. Guess I'll have to try to come up with an excuse." She glanced up at the strange boy to find his posture dramatically changed. He stood aggressively, as if he was anticipating on imminent attack. He was glaring at James, who had just returned from the stacks, a book tucked under his arm. "Snape," James said, his voice cool and his eyes careful, like he was assessing an adversary. He briefly glanced at Lily, but too quickly for Lily to catch any emotions on his face.

"Potter," Snape spat, as though the word was poison on his tongue. Lily glanced at him to see him glaring at James with absolute disgust and loathing. "What's that you've got there, Potter?"

"It's called a book. You might know about them, considering you're the smartest of the bunch, but then again, the lot you hang round with is so ignorant, I wouldn't be surprised if it rubbed off on you." While Severus's tone made his hatred of James plainly clear, James's tone was mostly emotionless, with slight hints of disdain.

"Need to study up on riding a bike? I thought even an imbecile like Black would know how to do that," Snape goaded, his hands shaking at he opened and closed them at his sides.

James's nostrils flared. "Just wait till we get to Thunder Road. Then you'll really see who the better rider is."

Severus clucked his tongue and shook his head like he was a disappointed father. "Careful Potter," he said, his tone mocking and sharp. She was staring at James, but she felt Severus step closer to her chair, felt the metal vibrate as he gripped the chair back. "You wouldn't want to get hurt." The way Severus said it, so casual outsiders might've missed the hint of a threat, made shudders ripple up Lily's spine. She watched as James tensed, his hazel irises filled with panic as his eyes flashed to her for a second, his grip on the book so tight his knuckles whitened. Lily glanced at Amos, who was also tense, staring at Severus in a way Lily could only called horrified amazement.

No one moved for what felt like ages, until Severus took a step back from her chair. "I'll see you in class tomorrow, Lily," he said. Lily was still frozen and unable to respond. When she finally turned around, Severus had left the library.

She looked back at James who looked like he was fighting the urge to run after Severus with all his will.

"James," she breathed, her voice jolting him out of his reverie.

He blinked at her before mumbling, "I gotta go," and hurrying from the library.

"James!" Lily called again, her voice louder and filled with concern.

"Let him go," Amos said, placing a hand on Lily's forearm to stop her from going after him.

Lily sighed, but settled back into her chair. Her thoughts were rushing around in her head like a tornado. This was the first time Lily had thought James's words might've had some merit. Could Sev really be in a gang? He had threatened her… or at least that was the impression Lily got. Severus had been using Lily to threaten James. The question was why. James had told Lily about Severus being a Death Eater, but the way they had talked just now… could James be in a gang as well?

Her mind instantly rejected that notion. James was talked about far too much in this school for his being a gangbanger to go unnoticed. Plus, Lily just knew James would never be part of whatever Severus was mixed up in. But he still knew more than he was telling Lily.

"Phew. That was intense. So much for just a study date in the library," Amos interrupted her thoughts.

Lily let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Yeah…"

She considered Amos. He hadn't said a word during the whole exchange between James and Severus, but his quick recovery seemed to suggest it wasn't uncommon for the two males to exchange words. "That was intense, wasn't it?" Lily said, trying not to be too obvious. "Is this a common occurrence?"

Amos nodded. "Snape and Potter have hated each other since we were just first years. I s'pect it's because James and Sirius used to pick on Snape when we were kids, but they picked on everyone. Not like Snape was blameless either. James and Sirius would pull a prank on him, and he'd retaliate, but always take it a step further."

Lily nodded, absorbing the information. While it was clear their dislike of each other went a long way back, Lily had a feeling their hatred had to do with more than just old rivalries. She changed gears, hoping a new angle might clarify things. "What's Thunder Road?"

Amos chuckled. "It's just this old road that gets used for drag racing."

Lily sighed. Of course James was drag racing; of course he was doing something illegal, but she still couldn't exactly see how that fit in with Snape and the Death Eaters.

She felt exhausted, and knew she wouldn't be able to do her homework now, her thoughts too entangled to sort out whilst attempting to conjugate verb tenses. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned exaggeratedly. "I'm dead tired," she said. "I'm going to go up to bed."

Amos jumped to his feet. "Yeah, me too," he shoved his books into his bag hurriedly. "Lemme walk you."

Lily was reminded of her problem with Amos. She needed to make herself clear now; she didn't want to lead him on any more than she already had. "Amos, I think we should talk."

Amos frowned. "I disagree. I think we could be really good together."

"And at a different time, I would agree," Lily said. "But I-I'm still not over someone I met this summer, and it wouldn't be fair to you or a potential relationship between us to pursue anything. I'm sorry."

Amos sighed heavily, but nodded. "You're an amazing girl, and I'd love to say let's be friends, but I'm going to need time."

Lily felt her heart sink a little bit, but she nodded in understanding. "Of course Amos. I guess I'll… see you around then."

Amos nodded, unable to meet her eye as he sunk back into his chair. "Sure," he said with faux nonchalance.

Lily picked up her bag and left the library. She hated hurting Amos, but she felt better knowing Amos was one less thing she'd have to worry about.

* * *

James leaned against the cement wall, inhaling deeply before letting out a long puff of smoke. He watched Sirius, who was crouched in front of his bike, argue with Remus.

"I'm tellin' ya, Moony, it's the pistons," Sirius argued.

"And I say it's the valve," Remus replied, sounding frustrated. "That's what that Weasley bloke told you over the phone, was it not?"

"Yeah, but he's not here," Sirius bandied, stubbornly ignoring Remus. "He can't possibly know what's wrong if he can't see the engine in front of him."

Remus let out a frustrated noise. "Hagrid said Weasley is one of the best mechanics he knows. I have a feeling we should trust someone who actually knows what he's doing, as opposed to a seventeen-year-old wanker fixing up a bike so he can race it on an abandoned road, and use it to seduce females."

Sirius let out an irritated huff. "Back me up here, Prongs."

James held up his hands in surrender and looked away. Sirius frowned, exchanging a glance with Remus. "What's wrong?"

James shifted his weight. He still felt unbalanced from his interlude with Snape and Lily in the library. Snape's blatant threat towards Lily had him fighting to decide whether to grab Lily and refuse to let her go, or to beat the ever loving shit out of Snape for ever hinting at laying a hand on her.

His hands curled into fists and his jaw clenched as he imagined turning Snape's face into a bloody, cratered pulp.

He looked up to find Sirius and Remus watching him. He took another drag of his cigarette to calm himself before answering. "I ran into Snivellus in the library."

Remus nodded in understanding while Sirius looked confused. "Why were you in the library?"

Remus rolled his eyes, both him and James ignoring the irrelevant question. "What happened?"

James sighed, flicking his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. He was slightly hesitant to tell his friends, but his frustration and anger made his need to share too great. "He not so subtly threatened to hurt Lily," James growled.

Remus sighed. "James, not even Snape would be so bold."

James clenched his hands into fists. "You weren't there. Just ask Lily, or even Diggory."

"Diggory?" Sirius grunted as he twisted his wrench.

James walked over to the toolbox, picked up a nut, and tossed it in the air, catching it in one hand. "Yeah," he grumbled moodily. "He was studying with Lily."

Remus pressed his lips into a straight line at James's tone, while Sirius cocked an eyebrow. Neither said anything though as they watched James pace.

He ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "I just wish she'd actually believe me about that slime ball. I also wish I could just beat the crap out of him."

Sirius tossed aside his wrench. "Don't worry about it, Prongsy. We'll make 'em Death Eaters look like a bunch of pansies when I cream their arses at Thunder Road." He stood up and backed away from the bike. "Light 'er up Moony!"

Remus leaned over and turned the key in the ignition. The engine made a sputtering noise, like rocks in a tumbler before popping, a dark cloud of exhaust coming out of the rusty pipe.

"Fucking hell!" Sirius cried, kicking the front tire. "Moony, where the fuck'd you get this engine? It's worse than the original!"

Remus held out a placating hand, looking annoyed at being yelled at. "Calm down Padfoot. Why don't we call Weasley again. Maybe he can come out here and take a look in person."

James watched the pair bicker for a while before they agreed to call Weasley in the morning. Sirius and Remus cleaned up, the trio locking the garage behind them as they left. They piled into James's car, and started the drive back to Hogwarts.

Back in the dorm, they found Peter sitting up in bed, having returned from his extra help group a few hours earlier. "How'd it go?" he asked, causing Sirius to launch into a long tirade.

When he finally came up for air, Peter merely shrugged. "Reckon Moony's right."

Sirius grumbled to himself as he got ready for bed, still in a sour mood. "You guys hear about the dance their planning?" Peter asked in an attempt to lighten things.

The other three shook their heads, though James felt like someone had mentioned a dance to him at some point. "Who cares about some stupid dance, Wormtail?" Sirius retorted, still cranky. "The only reason we ever go is to get into some bird's knickers, and McKinnon lets me in for free."

"Yeah, well," Peter continued. "This one's apparently a big deal since they're considering broadcasting it on Bandstand."

"Really?" Remus asked, intrigued. "How'd they manage that?"

Peter shrugged. "You know television. Any gimmick to get viewers."

The following weeks were filled with whispers, squeals, and debates about the dance. People had already started to find dates, asking one another in over-the-top, grandiose fashions. James had noticed that the number of longing looks the Marauders received from females had increased in the hopes of receiving an invite. The curly-haired blonde - I really need to learn her name - had started popping up everywhere he went.

James had also noticed that no one appeared to have asked Lily to the dance yet.

He watched her during Chemistry two weeks after the incident with Snape in the library. He hadn't talked to her since the incident, and had no idea how she had taken the threat. While it looked like Lily was still being friendly to Snape, James had noticed she appeared to be acting more cautious around him as well.

James watched as Lily threw her head back and laughed at something the slimy git said, though once she'd sobered up, she returned instantly to her work. James didn't miss the soft smile Snape gave her when he thought no one was looking. It made James's stomach twist uncomfortably to see a look of such longing and affection cross a face better fit for scowls.

James turned back to his own experiment, and added the dry yeast to the hydrogen peroxide. He watched the reaction, waited two minutes, and took the temperature. "Exothermic," he told his partner, who was in charge of filling out their answer sheet.

He turned to look at her, rolling his eyes when he found her watching him dreamily, and snatched up the answer sheet. "No, don't worry. I'll just do all the work," he muttered under his breath as he scrawled down answers to the following questions.

When class finally ended, James watched Snape scurry out the door, first person to leave after the bell as usual. Lily was much slower, taking time to clean up her station, and gather her books. James gradually made his way to the door, watching as Lily walked up to Slughorn's desk to talk with the portly professor. He stood outside the door, nodding for Sirius, Remus, and Peter to head out without him.

He listened to the murmur of voices, Lily's polite tone, and Slughorn's boisterous timbre. Slughorn asked a question, Lily replied, causing Slughorn to laugh, and then there was the sound of footsteps. James glanced up as Lily walked out, her gaze focused on a paper in front of her. She started down the hall towards English, and James hurried after her.

"Hey Evans," he called.

She jumped, the sheet of paper rattling in her grasp, and she snapped her head over at him. "Fucking hell, James. Give me a heart attack much?"

James chuckled as she shook her head. "Sorry," he said, smirking. "Not my fault you always get lost in the clouds when you read." He gestured to the paper she was holding. "What's that?"

Lily folded it up and put the paper in her bag. "Just some extra credit work."

James cocked an eyebrow. "You need to do extra credit?" he asked incredulously.

Lily blushed slightly. "I don't need to, but Slughorn feels he needs to give me uni level work to challenge me further."

James raised both eyebrows, impressed. He knew Lily was at the top of most of her classes, just under him and Sirius, but that she was doing extra work, at a university level nonetheless, for Slughorn proved just how intelligent she was.

"So," James started, fingering the binding on his notebook. "I'm guessing you've heard about the dance."

He snuck a glance at her out of the corner of his eye, trying to act nonchalant and cool about the situation. He saw Lily play with the sleeves of her jumper, pulling them over her fingers and stretching out the material. "Yeah. I mean, who hasn't."

"It's kinda cool, isn't it, that Hogwarts is being considered for Bandstand."

Lily turned to him, smiling largely. "So cool! Tuney and I used to watch Bandstand as kids, practice the dances in the living room and such."

James chuckled, picturing two little girls, a barefoot redhead and primly dressed blonde, dancing around a television set. "I cannot picture Petunia as a child," he said, almost biting back his words the instant they left his mouth. He knew Lily and Petunia didn't get along well, but Lily was fiercely protective of her sister, and would not take kindly to any negative words said against the older girl.

But Lily just laughed. "I know, right? Even when she was a kid, she acted like she was the queen. Mum used to say Petunia was born with perfect posture and her pinky in the air."

James grinned. "And what about you?"

Lily smiled back. "Oh, definitely not. I was a rugrat. Dad always talks about how I would try to join the neighborhood boys when they played rugby in their yards. They sometimes would let me, and I'd come home all bruised and covered in mud."

James nodded. "I can picture it. I see you at practice, all covered in dirt and turf. Do you take no pride in your hygiene?"

Lily playfully shoved him. "Excuse me, but I'm not the one who refused to shower after my lifeguarding shifts because 'The ocean is one giant bath, Lil!'"

"It is! Plus, it has the added benefit of making me smell like the ocean without having to go out and buy some overpriced cologne."

Lily giggled. "Oh please, you smelt like rotten seaweed and fish pee."

James gasped, placing a hand over his heart. "You take that back now!"

"Oh, but Jamesy," Lily said in a too-sweet voice, batting her eyelashes. "I promised to never lie to you, and I wouldn't want to start now."

James gazed down at her, Lily's eyes a bright, sparkling green, her pink lips turned up in a dazzling smile. It was just like the way she used to look at him over the summer, like he was the most exciting thing she'd ever seen. He had such an urge to bend down, and press his lips to hers, to be able to taste her on his tongue after so long, but he held back. While things were definitely getting better between them, they weren't at that point yet. Still, he was unable to help himself when he blurted, "Go out with me, Lil."

They both froze, shocked at his words. Immediately after he said the words, he wished to suck them back in, to tell her he was joking. But he couldn't do that. It would be like what he'd done at the bonfire, like he was lying to her again. And he couldn't afford to cause Lily to doubt him again, not when he felt so close to getting her to a place where they could start over again. So he kept his mouth shut and waited for her reaction.

Lily just stared up at him, her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide. He couldn't exactly pinpoint her reaction; she was surprised, obviously, but he couldn't tell whether it was a bad shock or good shock. She closed her mouth and continued down the hall with him in silence. They paused outside of McGonagall's classroom, only a couple of minutes left before the bell, but neither made a move to enter the room.

James waited a few more seconds before deciding to do something. Lily looked about to respond, but he cut her off. "You don't need to give me an answer now. In fact, I don't want you to," Lily closed her mouth, looking a little put off. "I want you to think about it. I know I fucked up. I fucked up big time, and I'm not expecting you to forgive me or to want to be with me anytime soon. But, I am just asking that you think about my offer. It would be just you and me, no one else, no one who goes to this school, or who we met over the summer. Just James and Lily. We could get to know one another again, and see if it could work out. I know I just sprang this on you, and I have a feeling you might say no. So, please, just think about it. And whenever you're ready to give me an answer, I'll be waiting."

He stopped, watching as she absorbed his little monologue. She gazed up at him curiously, her head cocked to the side, her lips turned up in a puzzled smile. She hesitated for a second longer before nodding slowly. James felt his heart lift in his chest, and he gave into an urge. He reached out and brushed his fingertips against her cheekbone. She flushed slightly, the skin warming under his touch, and leaned into his hand.

They stayed like that for another few seconds, before breaking apart simultaneously and entering McGonagall's classroom together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> I'm sure you all must hate me for how long my A/Ns always are, but I always feel like I need to explain a little. So, onwards...
> 
> 1\. I know drive-ins don't really exist anymore, but I do want to keep some scenes from the movie. And while I most likely will not veer from James's and Lily's viewpoints, I'm still going to replicate scenes from the movie, like Kenickie and Rizzo's hook-up at the drive-in.
> 
> 2\. For those of you who love Beauty School Drop-Out, I sincerely apologize, but I will not be having that scene in here. My Frenchie aka Alice will not be dropping out of Hogwarts. I just feel like it wouldn't really work for my story. Sorry!
> 
> 3\. The 'cherry flavored nipples' statement from Sirius is stolen from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. It's a classic 90s teen angst movie, and a definite must watch.
> 
> 4\. For anyone who knows anything about machines/cars/engines/mechanically inclined, I sincerely apologize for my complete ignorance on the subject. That being said, if anyone reading this is mechanically inclined/ knows anything about motorcycles, I would eternally grateful for any help or advice given.
> 
> 5\. And finally, Bandstand. So, I recognize this program has not existed for years, and further, I'm fairly certain it was never broadcasted in any other nation aside from the US. That being said, like with the drive-in, I wanted to keep some plot points from the movie the same in the story. So, I am resurrecting Bandstand for this story. I hope Dick Clarke does not mind.
> 
> Phew! That was a ton, and I apologize. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and how it ended. I feel like they've been dancing around each other for a while now. I say it's time they actually did something together, don't you?
> 
> xoxo Evie


	6. Chapter V: Blue Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.
> 
> Author's Note: As mentioned in previous chapters, the {...} refers to a switch in POV

V. Blue Moon

_"And then there suddenly appeared before me_

_The only one my arms will ever hold_

_I heard somebody whisper "Please adore me"_

_And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold!"_

It was agonizing. It had been a week since James had asked Lily out and the wait. Was. Killing. Him.

He was having a hard time concentrating in class - well, no more than usual - especially the classes Lily was in. Most of his focus went to the way she chewed on the inside of her cheek when she didn't understand a concept, or the way her hair turned into a kaleidoscope of red, brown, and gold when the sun hit it. And he knew he wasn't being subtle.

More than one he'd seen a bloke go up to Lily, as though to ask her to the dance, before spotting him and instantly backing off. If Lily minded this new territorial James, she gave no indication. But that frustrated James even more.

At least when she was yelling at him he got some idea of how she was feeling. Lately, Lily was so hard to read and he found he was slowly losing his mind.

He was dying to talk to someone about it, but the Marauders were not an option. Peter was helpless when it came to girls and James didn't feel like listening to Remus's preaching. Sirius was one hundred percent out of the question; he got tense any time Lily's name was spoken, even if it was just in passing. He couldn't understand why James was so wound up over some bird. Besides, Sirius's advice would be to just shag Lily and move on, but that was not an option.

So, James found himself turning to other sources.

"She's trying to drive me mad. It's been a week. A _week_ , Frank, and she still had yet to say anything," James ranted while cleaning up after practice one day.

Frank shrugged as he bent to pick up a cone."Alice says Lily has been really busy lately. She's got fockey practice, plus she's an editor on the school paper. Slughorn even managed to sucker Lily into going to a Slug Club party."

James cocked an eyebrow as he scooped up footballs and put them into their bag. He'd known Lily was ambitious and a hard worker, but he'd had no idea she had that much on her plate. "I just wish she'd give me some indication of what her answer will be," James sighed.

Frank shrugged again. "Well, she seems happy, if that makes any difference."

James turned to face the other boy. "Happy?"

Frank nodded. "Yeah. Whenever Al and I would hang out with her for the last few months or so, she always seemed kinda sad. But lately, she's appeared happier. Plus, Al says she talks about you sometimes."

James perked up, grinning hugely. "Really?" He knew he probably looked like an idiot, but Frank was polite enough to not say anything.

Frank smirked. "Guess so."

Frank's words helped carry James through the remainder of the week and into the next. Lily was coming around to him, he was sure of it now.

He started to pay closer attention to their small interactions. When he passed her in the hall on Tuesday, he saw her pat down her hair and adjust her uniform before pretending not to notice him until he greeted her first. During English, she would give him a polite smile as he took his seat, though her eyes sparkled with excitement. And he noticed she could watch him sometimes during practice, sitting on the bleachers next to Alice as she pretended to do her homework.

Finally, it was Friday. It was nearly two weeks since James had asked Lily out, but unlike the previous week, he felt calm. He felt almost as if he would wait forever until Lily gave her answer, though he suspected he wouldn't have to wait much longer.

He was still pretty shocked, though, when he found Lily waiting for him outside the locker room that early evening. The football team had just returned from a tight match against Beaubaxtons, and they were all worn out and exhausted. At first, James thought he had hallucinated her, until Frank nudged him and pointed.

His hand instantly went to his hair and he felt butterflies in his stomach. "Alright, Evans?"

She glanced up at him, jumping slightly at his voice. She smiled shyly and shifted her weight. "Alright, Potter?"

…

She was so nervous. She'd spent the past two weeks going back and forth in her head, unsure what to do. She'd nearly driven Alice up the wall with how in-her-head she was about the situation.

"I know he hurt you," Alice started one day when they were spending some free time in the library. It had gotten to be too cold for them to go outside, so they were forced to find new locations to spend their time. "But you wouldn't be feeling so much turmoil about this if the answer was a definite no."

Lily sighed. "I don't want to get hurt again, Al. Last time it hurt so much; I don't think I can stand a second time."

Alice smiled at her sadly, reaching over and squeezing Lily's hand. "I know, but it's a risk you'll have to take if you want this. For what it's worth though, I don't think you have to worry too much about a double heartbreak. The way that boy stares at you…"

Lily flushed slightly. She knew James stared at her in class; she could always feel his gaze on her, like callused trailing fingers trailing up her neck, but she'd never thought he did it in a particular fashion.

"So you think I should tell him yes?" Lily pushed.

Alice grinned. "It doesn't matter what I think, Lil. It only matters what you think."

Which was how Lily ended up waiting an hour outside the boys' locker room. She was about ready to turn and run when she saw the bus pull up in front of the castle. All the players stepped off, looking dirty, bruised, and exhausted. She looked down as she spotted Amos getting off the bus. They hadn't spoken since the day in the library, and she felt guilty standing outside the locker room waiting to talk to the team captain. But he simply walked past her with a polite nod and she relaxed minimally.

She instantly tensed up again when she spotted the head of messy hair following Frank Longbottom off the bus. She felt her pulse pick up and she started fidgeting like mad: pulling at the hair falling from her messy bun, twisting her fingers, shifting her weight.

He looked just as careworn as his teammates, his uniform covered in dirt and grass stains, and his left knee was bleeding from a turf burn. He had gotten a clump of grass stuck in his hair somehow and his glasses sat crookedly on his face. He was staring at the ground, seemingly lost in his thoughts, until Frank nudged him. James looked up and caught her eye. He froze, staring at her in amazement for a moment before his whole face lit up and he strode purposefully towards her.

"Alright, Evans?" he called as his hand went to his hair.

She jumped a bit at his voice, grinning shyly and yanking at the ends of the sleeves of her jumper. "Alright, Potter?"

He grinned as he came to a stop in front of her. "What are you doing here?" he asked incredulously.

She fidgeted some more, the butterflies in her stomach going insane. "How was the game?" she stalled.

James smirked, clearly sensing Lily's avoidance. "We won, of course," he replied, leaning a hand on the wall just above Lily's head. "Now, why are you really here?" he asked, ducking his head closer.

Her breathing picked up and she fought back the urge to lean in as his body heat swept over her. He smelled like sweat and earth, a combination she would have otherwise disliked, but was suddenly intoxicating. "Um," she started and stopped as he brushed a strand of hair back from her face. _Just say it._

"Yes?" he pressed, his expression calm though his eyes danced with amusement as he became aware of what he was doing to her.

She lifted her chin, jaw set, determined to take back some control over herself. "I've come to give you my answer," she said, her voice strong though her hands shook. She took a breath. "My answer is…"

...

"…yes," she finished.

James froze, hardly able to believe his ears. "Can you repeat that, please?" he asked, the confidence and control he'd felt over the moment just seconds ago gone.

He watched her bite her lip as she fought back a grin, her eyes moving across his face in an amused manner. "I said yes, James. _Yes._ Yes, I'll go on a date with you."

It took his brain another few seconds to process before he was grinning like a fool. He let out a loud whoop, causing Lily to giggle. Before he could stop himself, he picked her up and was spinning her around. "Put me down!" she cried, wrapping her arms around his neck as she continued to laugh.

He put her back on her feet, stopping himself just in time before he kissed her. Her eyes were so green, her cheeks flushed a flattering pink, and he felt so filled up with joy. He kept his arms around her even as her smile faded and she gave him a stern look. "But this is your last chance. I will not give you a third one. So don't fuck up again. Yeah?"

James nodded, grabbing her hand and kissing the inside of her wrist, silently promising to never ruin anything involving Lily ever again. She nodded curtly, letting out a long breath. "I- I should go," she said, her shy smile returning. "I've got a study group."

James nodded again, almost too happy to speak, but he took a breath, forcing himself to use his words. "I'll text you with details later," he said.

Lily nodded, her cheeks flushing as her smile grew. He bent and kissed her cheek quickly before releasing her. She hurried past him, glancing shyly over her shoulder to take one last glance at him before continuing on to the school.

He took a moment to himself, so he wouldn't walk into the locker room like the lovesick fool he was. He punched a fist in the air, feeling on cloud nine. Now he just needed to plan a killer date. He headed for the showers, ready to do some brainstorming.

* * *

Lily was a mess of emotions. Her mind seemed to only be able to focus on thing: James. It took all of her willpower to act unaffected whenever she felt his gaze on her in class. She couldn't stop herself from blushing though when they passed in the hallway. It didn't make matters better that he had yet to contact her about their date. She found herself obsessively checking her phone for a text and sneaking hopeful glances at him during class. Still… nothing.

It reached a crux one day during lunch. Lily and Alice were weaving their way through the dining hall looking for Marlene and the other girls. It had gotten too cold for the group to sit at their usual picnic table outside. That meant it was usually a battle trying to find an unoccupied table in the crowded dining hall. Luckily, being a friend of Marlene's meant you usually had a table to sit at; people were far too afraid of her to go to battle against her.

As they neared the table, Lily took note of a few extra members gathered around Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline than usual. Dorcas and Emmeline were laughing hysterically at some story Remus was telling, while Peter looked on, staring at Emmeline dazedly. Sirius and Marlene were in the middle of a very graphic and intense snogging session, while Frank and James stood next to the table, chatting. Alice grinned hugely upon spotting her boyfriend, and skipped over to him, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Lily felt her heart pound in her chest as she looked at James. _God, he's so handsome_ , she thought as she took in his wrinkled button down and haphazard tie. He'd removed his jumper and his glasses were lopsided, his hair its usually mess. Her favorite part was the way he was looking at her, his hazel eyes bright, and a crooked smile on his lips. She felt her cheeks redden violently, and she was certain if she wasn't holding a tray full of food, she'd be fidgeting. She smiled back brightly as she neared the table.

She set down her tray and stared at the food on it. She wasn't sure why, but she suddenly felt shy, as if she couldn't look James in the eye. She felt his gaze on her, and she glanced up briefly. She flushed again and looked back down as their eyes connected. She heard him chuckle and Alice nudged her in the side. Lily ignored them both, staring intensely at her cup of soup.

She felt someone nudge the toe of her shoe and she glanced up. James had sat down across from her. He was talking to Frank about their next game against Durmstrang, seemingly paying her no notice, but she felt another nudge and saw his lips quirk a little.

She bit her lip, took a sip of her water, and slid her foot next to his. She felt her stomach erupt in butterflies as she slipped her foot out of her maryjane, and nudged his foot back. She pulled out her assignment planner, pretending to gaze at her homework for the night as she slipped her toes under the hem of his trousers. She dragged her foot slowly up his leg, the fabric of his pants sliding with it. She sneaked a glance at James and noticed that while he was still talking casually with Frank, his cheeks had a slight reddish tinge to them. She dragged her foot slowly back down and turned to listen to Alice's conversation with Dorcas. She was so busy concentrating on her ministrations that she jumped when Marlene spoke up.

"Oh Lilywhite!"

Lily jerked her foot from James's leg at the sound of her name and turned to stare at Marlene with wide eyes. _When did she stop sucking Sirius's face off?_ Out of the corner of her eye, she saw James glance her way before staring hard at Marlene. The whole group had fallen silent, everyone paying attention. It was common knowledge that Marlene didn't address Lily often, and when she did, it was never a good thing.

"Yes?" Lily asked hesitantly. She tried to keep an unconcerned façade though she twisted her fingers together nervously in her lap.

"I heard rumors that Thomas Rodchester is planning to ask you to Hogsmeade this weekend," Marlene informed her conversationally, but Lily saw a cold gleam in her eye. Lily glanced at James again and saw he had an impassive expression on his face, though his jaw was tensed.

"Oh?" Lily replied, not falling for Marlene's bait.

Marlene nodded. "He's pretty cute," she said.

Lily merely shrugged. He wasn't really her type.

"Would you say yes if he asked you out?" Marlene pushed.

Lily shook her head. "Probably not. I don't know him too well."

"He always stares at you, Lil, like he's picturing you naked," Dorcas put in, giggling when Lily made a face. Lily heard a faint grunting sound from across from her.

"Yeah, maybe not him. Not exactly the wholesome type," Marlene frowned exaggeratedly. She suddenly grinned like she had a brilliant idea. "I know! What about Amos Diggory? He's got such a nice arse. Perfect to bring home to the folks."

Marlene ignored Sirius's frown, her eyes only on Lily. Lily wasn't a hundred percent sure just what Marlene was doing, or what her end goal was, but Lily knew it had something to do with James. He hadn't spoken up the entire time, and Lily could see everyone was watching him, waiting for his reaction. She remembered his jealous tendencies from the summer and was impressed with his ability at hiding it now. _Unless he's not jealous…_ She tried to cut that thought off there, reminding herself of their date. _A date he hasn't texted you about yet…_

"We're just friends," Lily replied, thankful that that statement was true. She had gotten partnered with him when they played tennis in physical education, and after only a few minutes of awkwardness, had managed to fall into a comfortable companionship. "He fancies Mary MacDonald. They're going to the dance together."

"Finally!" Alice cut in, ignoring Marlene's dirty look. "She's been pining after him since fourth year!"

"I told her to go for it," Lily turned to Alice, relieved and thankful for the other girl's rescue. "She asked him out and he agreed."

"Hmmm, that's too bad, but for the best," Marlene cut in, bringing the attention back to herself. "He's a bit too safe perhaps, and a girl should take a risk every once in awhile. Oh, I know!" She paused for dramatic effect, making sure everyone was paying attention. Lily braced herself. "Severus Snape!"

The whole table fell dead silent and Lily could practically feel the hatred rolling off of James. The other Marauders frowned and turned to the fourth member. James still had an impassive look on his face, but his whole body had tensed and he stared at Marlene like he wished he could shoot lasers from his eyes.

Lily on the other hand didn't bother to hide her dislike of the topic. She frowned and glared at Marlene. "He's just my lab partner," she replied, her voice hard.

"I mean, I know he's not much to look at, but maybe if you can get him to wash his hair every now and then, he'd be… reasonable enough. Danger and mystery wrapped up in one scrawny package. And from what Em tells me-"

"I haven't-" Emmeline started, but Marlene talked over her.

"-you guys are pretty close. You'd be such a cute couple, like _Beauty and the Beast_ ," Marlene continued triumphantly. "Isn't that what girls like you want? A bad boy to let your wild side out?"

No one seemed to know what to do or say. The level of tension and animosity was ridiculously high. Sirius, Emmeline, and Alice were all glaring at Marlene, while Frank, Dorcas, and the other two Marauders looked uncomfortable.

James pushed back from the table, keeping his eyes only on Lily. "Come on, Lil. Let's go get started on our paper for McGonagall," he said, his tone implying that there was no room for refusal.

Lily quickly slipped on her previously forgotten shoe and stood up from the table. She grabbed her bag, muttering a quick, "Bye, Al," and hurried after James, who was striding out of the room with great purpose. She'd nearly caught up to him when Thomas Rodchester stepped into her path. She nearly groaned out loud.

"Lily!" he said in what he probably thought was a seductive tone, but Thomas had such a high voice, he fell dramatically short. "Looking gorgeous as usual."

"Oh, uh, thanks, Thomas," Lily mumbled quickly. "I've really gotta-"

"You know, Hogsmeade is this weekend and I think you should go with me," Thomas waggled his eyebrows.

"Oh! Um… I, uh… sorry Thomas, but-" Lily sputtered.

"She's already going with me." She felt an arm wrap possessively around her waist and she looked up at James as he pulled her close to his side. He glared at the much shorter boy. "In fact, she's unavailable for every Hogsmeade weekend for the remainder of the year, so you can just fuck off."

"James!" Lily gasped, but he was already dragging her away from a dumbfounded Thomas.

James dragged her out of the dining hall and down another corridor before he let her go. Lily didn't know whether it was Marlene's harassment, Thomas's untimely proposal, or James's possessive attitude, but Lily felt herself snap. She turned to face the tall boy and glared harshly. "What the fuck _was_ that?" she yelled.

James sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I have no clue, Lil," he sounded weary. "Mar's always been-"

"No, not Marlene!" Lily cried, crossing her arms over her chest. "That's how you fucking ask me? Because another bloke does it before you do? You had a whole fucking week!"

James's eyes grew wide as he realized what she was truly angry about. "No!" James cried. "I was going to ask you after lunch. I wanted to do it in person, but I haven't had time."

Lily rolled her eyes. "What bullshit," she spat. "You had plenty of time to ask me. Also! What the fuck was that, telling Thomas I'm busy every Hogsmeade weekend from now on? Do I have a boyfriend I'm unaware of? Did you ask me if I wanted to go with you every weekend? And then you just dragged me from the hall! Why don't you pee on me so everyone can know you've marked your 'property'!"

"Lil," James tried, but she was on a roll.

"I am _no one's_ property. You have no right to act like I am yours and if you ever do that again, I'll-"

James cut her off mid-rant. He bent down, wrapping his arms firmly around her hips, and dragging her to him. It wasn't so much a kiss as just the pressure of his lips on hers, yet it was enough to make Lily's whole body heat up. She felt her anger fade away and she leaned up on her toes to press her lips more firmly to his, but he'd already pulled away. She started to follow him, but he moved back, dropping his hands from her hips.

She fell back onto her heels and stared up at him in disbelief. She was starting to wonder if the moment had even happened, but from the way her whole body still felt warm, she knew it had.

They stared at each other for a long while, both breathing heavily, before James spoke up.

"So, will you?" he asked, clearing his throat, which was hoarse and raspy, before continuing. "Will you go out with me on Saturday?"

Lily didn't even need to think about her answer. "Yes."

He nodded, a grin slowly spreading across his face. "Okay."

Lily felt herself grin back. "Okay."

* * *

He was getting himself ready for the date, spending more time than he should've debating whether he should attempt to make his hair look neat or to just let it be. That was how Sirius found him.

"Prongs… what are you doing?" he asked cautiously, like he was watching his best mate build a bomb.

James felt his cheeks heat slightly as he dropped his hands from where they'd been attempting to make the dark locks lie down flat. "Just trying something new," he said in what he hoped was a breezy tone.

Sirius had known James far too long to be fooled though. "Prongs, come on. Since when do you actually care about your hair? That's my thing."

"Oh!" James perked up at the reminder. "Can I use your hair gel then because I really think I might-"

"Prongs," Sirius said in his no bullshit tone.

James sighed, resigned. "I'm just a little… nervous. This date really needs to go well."

"I don't understand why this bird is so different from the rest," Sirius frowned.

James ran a hand through his hair. _Guess gel would be pointless._ "I don't really know if I can explain," James shrugged. "It's just different when I'm with her than any other girl I've been with. She's different."

Sirius shook his head. "That doesn't mean you should change for her."

James turned away from the mirror, facing his best mate. "I'm changing, but not really. I'm still Prongs in all the ways it matters. But Pads, we have to grow up at some point; being with Lily is just speeding along the process." Sirius's frown deepened and James took a step forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It was bound to happen sometime. We won't be at Hogwarts forever."

Sirius stared at him for a long time, not saying anything, his lips pursed. "Look," James implored. "I'm not asking you to like it or for you to grow up yet, but can you at least try to get to know Lily? I know she seems like a swot and a goody-two-shoes, but she's really not like that."

Sirius's lips twitched. "Mar calls her Lilywhite."

James sighed, rolling his eyes. "Mar needs to back the fuck off."

"Seems like Lily can hold her own." Sirius finally let a smirk escape. "Rodchester was harassing her in Maths the other day, using all of his terrible pick up lines and what not, and she shut him down! I nearly pissed myself from trying not to laugh."

James grinned. "She's feisty and very cheeky. Just don't piss her off and you're usually good."

Sirius nodded as he watched James pull on a navy blue button down. "Where are you taking her?"

"I was thinking either the drive-in, or the roller rink."

Sirius snorted "Roller rink? No one's gone to a roller disco since the 70s," he gestured to James's jeans. "Sure you don't want to pull out your bell bottoms?"

"Ha ha," James replied dryly as he looked around for his keys.

"I vote drive-in. Nothing like the stars and a comfy backseat says 'shag me' better."

"Such a romantic Padfoot," James shook his head. "I've gotta go," he said, glancing at his watch. "Don't wait up for me, Ma!" he called as he ran out the door.

"How's it look?" Lily asked as she flattened her hands down her dress, straightening it out and getting rid of nonexistent wrinkles.

"Gorgeous," Alice grinned. "James'll flip."

Lily bit her lip as she spun to take another look at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a heather grey sweater dress, black tights, and a pair of heeled booties. "Are you sure I-"

"Lily!" Alice cried, exasperated. "Shut up! You're beautiful. Besides, James wouldn't care if you showed up in your field hockey uniform. He'd still drool. Just one thing…" Alice walked over, unscrewing the cap off a tube of lipstick. She grabbed Lily's chin, and began applying the cosmetic. "There," she hummed, grinning as she stepped back.

Lily glanced back in the mirror and smirked as she took in the dark red color smeared on her lips. It made her feel dangerous. "I feel like I could go kick someone's arse," Lily joked, taking a defensive stance. "I imagine this is what Marlene feels like all the time."

"Weeeeelllll…. considering it is her lipstick…"

Lily turned to stare at Alice, who grinned mischievously. "You don't have time to yell at me. You've got to meet James."

She ushered Lily out the door, closing it behind them. "What are you and Frank doing tonight?" Lily asked as she took in Alice's date attire. The dark haired girl was wearing a denim mini skirt, black tights similar to Lily's, and a deep red v-neck jumper.

She and Alice had skipped going to Hogsmeade earlier in favor of having a spa day before their dates. It was something Lily and Petunia used to do together before things had fallen apart between them. Lily missed having someone to talk to and listen to her worries like Alice had earlier, talking Lily through each irrational worry with patience. Being homeschooled hadn't afforded many opportunities to meet new people, so Lily had never had girlfriends before.

"Probably going to grab food with the others," Alice rolled her eyes, though her big grin betrayed her. "Frank's never been good at picking date night activities."

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "You're dressed pretty nicely for a casual hang out."

Alice's grin grew as she adjusted her top, pulling it down slightly so you could just make out the curves of her breasts. "We may be with the group, but that doesn't mean I can't tempt Frank into some alone time."

Lily grinned back and they walked on. The girls debated where James could be taking Lily before separating when they got to the entrance hall. Lily glanced around, trying to find James in the crowd of upperclassmen blocking the front doors.

She raised up on her tiptoes in the hopes of seeing over the mass, when her vision was blacked out. Her first instinct was to push the hands off her face, but she stopped at the familiar voice, the butterflies that had decided to take up a permanent residence in her stomach spreading their wings to take flight.

"Guess who."

Lily found herself leaning back into him instinctively as his deep voice caressed over her skin. "Hmmmm… Peter?"

She could practically feel James's frown as he released her. "Oh," she said in as flat a voice as she could manage as she turned around to face him. "It's you."

…

James couldn't help, but feel a little giddy as he took in Lily's excited eyes, her lips twitching as she tried to fight back a bright smile.

"Don't pretend," he teased. "You're absolutely thrilled to see me."

"Nope. I'm only thinking about how you'll take me somewhere super lame. So lame that I'll never want to see you again and then you'll finally leave me alone."

James snorted. "Puh-lease. I could take you to an empty field to stare at sheep, and you'd be so thrilled by it, you'd never leave me alone after. I'm just that magnetic a presence."

Lily bit her lip, still trying and failing at fighting her ecstatic grin. "Uh huh. Whatever you say, James."

James only smirked, reaching down for Lily's hand. He hesitated for a second, wondering if she would allow this action, but Lily put his worried to rest when she reached for his hand, wrapping her fingers around his and squeezing. He allowed himself to just enjoy the feel of her soft skin rubbing against his calluses before he led her to the front door. He showed the permission he'd gotten from McGonagall earlier in the week to Filch, who grumbled and glared at James, and led Lily outside.

"So, where are we going?" she asked, swinging their arms between them.

"It's a surprise," he replied, chuckling when she moved to walk backwards in front of him, still holding his hand so it was like she was leading him.

"That's no fair. I wanna know," she pouted. James internally groaned as he stared at her deep red lips, imagining how it would feel to have those lips on his, to get her lipstick all over his lips.

James pouted back. "And I want it to be a surprise." He pulled his keys from his pocket, jingling them as they approached his car.

Lily turned to look at his pride and joy. It was a 1959 Thunderbird he had bought two summers ago. Hagrid had helped him rebuild the engine and fix the paint job. He watched Lily trail a finger over the hood as he unlocked the driver's side door. "Nice ride," she said. "My dad would be so jealous."

James grinned as he walked around to the passenger side door and opened it for her. "Really?" he asked as he watched her slide gracefully into her seat.

"Yeah," Lily replied when he had slid into his own seat. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and James had an urge to reach out and run his hands through the silky strands, which she had arranged so the hair was pulled partially off of her face, making her eyes stand out even more. "He - god, this is so dorky - he collects model cars. Like the kind you buy at rest stops."

"Like toy cars?" James asked, grinning teasingly at Lily as he turned the key in the ignition.

Lily nodded. "Any time we go on holiday, to place where we drive at least, we have to stop so he can pick up a new one."

James chuckled. "My grandfather used to buy spoons every time he visited America."

Lily glanced at him as he pulled the car out of the student lot and onto the main road. "Spoons?"

"Yeah. He has one from all fifty states. They're these little silver spoons engraved with the state's name and a little picture."

"So, what do you collect?" Lily asked.

James couldn't resist. "Beautiful redheads."

Lily's cheeks flamed and she quickly changed the subject. The conversation flowed easily, with only a few silences, though none that ever felt heavy or awkward.

About forty-five minutes into the trip, Lily became curious again about their destination. "I just thought you were going to take me to The Three Broomsticks, or that horrid tea shop."

James gasped dramatically. "How dare you think me so unoriginal! Did you really think I'd take you to the same place every other pathetic sod takes his dates?"

Lily shifted in her seat, merely shrugging.

James explained, "There's not much around the castle aside from Hogsmeade, but Sirius, Remus, Pete, and I have done our fair bit of exploring. About thirty minutes away from campus, there's this old repair shop the boys and I go to to work on Sirius's bike. Near there, there's an old drive-in movie theatre that still runs, so most people go there on dates."

Lily shifted again in her seat. "When you say bike, you're talking about a motorcycle, correct?"

"Yeah," James replied, wondering why the atmosphere was so heavy all of a sudden.

"A motorcycle to race at Thunder Road?"

James didn't respond, but he guessed he didn't need to. There were a few moments of heavy silence before James directed things back to the previous topic. "Anyways, I'm taking you to one of the other places we've found."

…

Lily felt off, not satisfied with the way James had reacted to her bringing up Thunder Road.

Drag racing. He was drag racing, and on motorcycles at that! She'd seen slices of James's wild side over the summer, but never had she imagined he would be participating in such dangerous and illegal activities.

Her mind started to fit pieces into the puzzle. _So, that must be how he knows about the Death Eaters. Sev knew about Thunder Road and if he really is a Death Eater, then they must race once another._

Lily wanted to slap James for his stupidity. _Running around with gangbangers! He's gonna get himself killed!_

Lily's breath hitched. She could vaguely hear James talking to her in the next seat, but her mind could only focus on the image of a cold body with James's visage. She felt her stomach turn over as she thought about never hearing his laugh again, or being wrapped up in his warm embrace, or seeing that look he got in his eyes right before he kissed her, all because he was an idiot and had gotten himself killed in a drag race.

_Stop!_ She dug her fingers into the leather beneath her, trying to pause her rushing mind. _Don't go into a thought spiral. Don't think about this. You're ruining the date. Just stop thinking so much and be in the moment._

Lily forced herself to relax her grip on the seat, moving her hands back into her lap and twisting her fingers.

He reached over and grabbed her left hand. He untangled her fingers, gripping her small, pale hand in his large, brown one, and worked his fingers over her palm in a soothing motion.

She glanced over and met his hazel gaze. James smiled softly, and shook his head. "Stop thinking about it. It's not a big deal. It's fine."

James squeezed her hand again and Lily offered him a weak smile in return. He turned his gaze back to the road, keeping her hand linked with his.

Lily decided to drop it for that moment. She wanted to enjoy this moment with James, just the two of them.

_Wait! Just the two of us…_

Lily realized this was the first time she and James had been alone since she'd arrived at Hogwarts. And she meant _alone_ alone, not being gracelessly shoved into the storeroom of a pub full of their peers alone. Lily grinned to herself with this realization, all thoughts of Thunder Road and an injured or dead James leaving her brain as she reveled in the aloneness.

She snuck a glance at James to see if he'd come to the same realization, and she caught him watching her with a strange expression on his face. His eyes were soft, almost loving, and he was smiling at her like she was something rare and exciting. She felt her cheeks heat up, but she grinned, announcing, "This is the first time it's been just us. Just you and me, since the beach."

James's smile turned mischievous as he listened to her. He shifted slightly closer to her, the lack of a middle console making it so his jean clad thighs brushed up against the thin fabric of her tights. "And what should we do, just me and you?"

Lily bit her lip and glanced out the windshield, noticing for the first time that they had stopped and were sitting in a parking lot. She looked up at what appeared to be an old, abandoned factory and paused. "You're gonna kill me?"

James grinned. "Damn. You weren't supposed to find out just yet." He opened up his door and stepped from the car. Lily scurried after him.

"Where are we really?" she asked as she caught up to him.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to his side. "So impatient," he chided good-naturedly. "You'll find out soon enough."

He held open the door for her, and Lily was greeted by darkness and the distant thud of a bass. She glanced at James as he led the way in. The further they walked, the more distinct the music.

They rounded a corner and walked into a large room. Along the left side of the wall was a large booth, people lined up outside it. On the right side was a large window showing off a kitchen, bunches of tables surrounding it, the smell of fryer grease hanging in that area like a cloud. In the center of the room was a large expanse of polished linoleum covered in black skid marks and people on rollerblades. A disco ball hung from the ceiling, reflecting off the walls, and a deejay booth sat in the back corner just off the floor. Disco music was blaring from the speakers.

Lily turned to James with wide eyes and an excited exhalation. "It's a roller disco!"

James grinned and nodded, watching as Lily looked around the room again. She turned back to him with a sly quirk to her lips. "What's with you and the unusual date activities?" she asked, referring to how he'd taken her bowling on their first date.

James scrubbed a hand over his jaw. "Sorry. We can go somewhere else if you'd like," he said uncertainly, shifting his weight.

Lily put a reassuring hand on his elbow and he looked down at her. "Nothing wrong with unusual," she grinned. "Beats getting a drink at the Three Broomsticks," she repeated her earlier assumption.

James's confidence returned and he lifted an arm around her, lightly pinching her waist, and making Lily squeal and squirm away. "What are you trying to do; make me feel like a crappy date?" he teased, unable to stop grinning as he looked at her.

They made their way over to the booth, where they could rent rollerskates. James paid for her rental, going on and on about how a man should pay for his date, despite Lily's protests that it was 2017, not 1957.

They walked over to a nearby bench and started lacing up their skates. "Do you know how to rollerskate?" James asked.

Lily shrugged modestly. "I can manage."

"Just stick by me," James stated cockily. "I'll keep you upright."

Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and nodded. "Okie dokie."

…

James could barely contain his surprise as he watched Lily spin and twirl around him on her rollerblades. She grinned smugly as he stared agape when she started skating backwards in front of him.

"What?" she asked innocently, unable to hold back her grin.

"You told me you couldn't skate," he cried, feeling like a dolt as he struggled to keep pace with her.

"No," she skated around him in a circle before returning to her former position. "You just assumed I couldn't."

"Well, you deliberately left out information so I'd end up looking like an idiot."

She grinned even larger, unable to deny it. "You don't need my help with that."

"Oh, you're _so_ gonna pay for that," he threatened, speeding up while holding out his arms slightly to keep his balance.

Lily snorted, her emerald eyes glowing with excitement. "Sure, if you can catch up, grandpa!" She moved just far enough so that she was always out of his reach, Jerry teasing Tom.

James couldn't help the way his heart kept thumping in his chest, keeping pace with the beat of the music and only increasing with every smile from Lily. He'd been worried there for a moment in his car when she'd brought up Thunder Road. He had a feeling this couldn't be the last he'd hear about the topic, but he was glad she'd dropped it for the night at least. Eventually he would have to come clean and explain everything: the Death Eaters, Thunder Road, Marlene, but tonight was about getting reacquainted.

The song changed, a Michael Jackson tune that made Lily's whole face light up as she began to sing and dance along. James caught on to the words and beat soon enough, and joined her. It wasn't easy dancing on eight wheels, but he managed, though much less gracefully than Lily.

She neared him, grabbing his hand and pulling him closer, spinning him around as she continued to sing. James laughed, pulling out some disco moves and poses, and reveling in Lily's laughter. As the song came to a close, he drew her close again, spinning her around and dipping her. Lily squealed, giggling at the unexpected move, but she smiled up at him, looking happier than he had seen her look in months.

He pulled her back upright and into his chest. He heard her breath catch, her pupils dilating as he started to lean down, hesitating for barely a second before closing the distance between-

"Hey Prongs!"

Both James and Lily froze, James closing his eyes and groaning, "Fucking hell."

"Prooooooonnnnggggggsssss! I know you can hear me!"

They shared a look, James one of annoyance, while Lily looked slightly crestfallen - which just made James's annoyance even more acute - before glancing in the direction of the caller's voice.

Standing just inside the doorway was Sirius… and the _whole_ group of their friends. James didn't think it possible to get annoyed any further, and yet, he did.

He turned back to Lily, trying to gauge her feelings. She was gnawing on her lip, watching the group as Marlene glared in their direction. "Hey," he said softly, calling her attention back to his face. "You okay?"

She offered him a weak smile and nodded.

He sighed, leaning his forehead against hers and closing his eyes, breathing in her scent and allowing it to calm him. "I know," he whispered, his voice just barely heard over the music. "I wanted it to be just us too. I'm so sorry Lil."

She reached up and touched his cheek, James opening his eyes to look into hers. Her irises were pure green, a mix of jade, and emerald, and forest. "It's not your fault, James." She tried to smile again, moving her hand to run her fingers through his hair. "It's okay. We'll make the best of it."

James frowned deeply, but he nodded. He turned his head and kissed the palm of her hand before pulling away.

James glanced in the direction of where the Marauders and the girls had been standing, and saw the group had congregated to the skates booth, with the exception of Sirius, who was speeding towards Lily and James on a pair of skates already.

"Prongs," he grunted as he reached them. "I swear, I tried to convince them that we should do the drive-in, or that new pub, but once Mar found out you guys were here, she refused to go anywhere else."

James sighed heavily, feeling the beginnings of a headache. "It's okay Sirius," Lily spoke up before James got a chance. He glanced at Sirius to see his best friend's reaction. Sirius looked shocked to be addressed by Lily as she continued. "I'm sure you did everything you could. It's not your fault. Marlene can be very… er, persistent."

Sirius was watching Lily, half wary, half surprised, but a warning glance from James kept his manners in check. "Uh, yeah. That she is… Evans."

"Pads, why is the whole gang here?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged. "I was ambushed. Mar asked where you guys were at dinners and I just didn't think. She was doing that thing with her tongue and-" James cleared his throat. "Never mind," Sirius continued with a quick glance at Lily. "Anyways, I let slip where you were and she just started inviting everyone else."

James turned to Lily. "If you want to leave, we can."

"Yeah Evans. I'll run interference for you guys," Sirius piped up.

Lily shook her head. "That's sweet Sirius, but unnecessary." She turned to James, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly. "And I don't want to leave. I'm having a good time, and don't want things to end just because it's not longer just us."

James smiled slightly, still concerned, and tugged her close, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Okay. Just let me know if you do."

"What are you guys talking about?" Marlene called, skating over to the group. She had a sort of triumphant gleam in her eyes as she looked at James's frown and Lily's feigned smile.

"Oh, I was just saying that Sirius is a much better skater than James here," Lily quickly lied.

"Oh?" Marlene mocked.

"Yes," Lily replied, pulling away from James to face the other girl. "He's rather like a giraffe on stilts."

Sirius cracked up. "Oh Evans, you kill me!" he cried, ignoring James's indignant, "Hey!"

"Hilarious," Marlene said again in a mocking tone. She moved closer to the redhead. "Nice lipstick. I have a red just like it. I didn't think you would own a color like that."

"I don't," Lily muttered hurriedly, glancing anywhere but at Marlene. "It's yours. Oh, look! I'm gonna go say hi to Alice and Frank," and she skated off before anything else could be said.

James and Sirius chuckled as they watched the flash of red zoom across the floor.

"That little thief!" Marlene hissed, drawing the boys' attention back to her.

James instantly hardened. "Back off, Mar," he warned.

Marlene moved closer to James, her expression furious, but Sirius stopped her with a hand on her waist. "Let it go babe."

Marlene growled under her breath, skating away with a huff.

Sirius and James exchanged a glance. "Why do we like birds so much again?"

"Because they smell nice and have tits," James smirked, Sirius returning the look.

"Oh yeah, that's right," he said as they were joined by Remus and Peter.

…

"So, how're things going?" Alice asked, sitting on a bench just outside the ring and waiting for Frank to come back with their skates. Lily was leaning against the railing around the circumference of the rink.

"It was going really well," Lily said, biting her tongue so she wouldn't add 'before you all showed up.'

Alice smirked, reading between the lines. "We had no idea you were here. Mar just invited Frank and me to come along."

"I'm not upset you're here," Lily told a white lie. "It's just James got all weird about it and Marlene's not making things better."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Mar's like a bulldog. She won't back off or back down, but when you're in her good graces, you'll never have a more loyal friend."

"Aside from maybe James," Frank cut in, sitting down to put on his skates after passing Alice hers. "That's probably why they were so good together." Frank looked up and winced once he realized what he'd said. "Sorry," he looked at Lily worriedly.

Lily shook her head. "No harm." She worried at her lip as she thought about what Benjy Fenwick had told her about James and Marlene's relationship. "But from what I've heard, they had a really volatile relationship. Fine one minute, fighting the next."

Alice nodded, acknowledging this truth as she laced up. "They did, but when they weren't fighting, they were good together. Like, really good."

Lily got a sinking feeling in her stomach. She glanced over her shoulder at James, who was laughing with the other Marauders as Peter did the moonwalk on his skates. She glanced around for Marlene, and found the brunette moping in the corner with Dorcas, staring at James with longing. It was well-hidden, but Lily knew what it was like to hide affection.

She felt almost guilty, like she'd personally destroyed Marlene and James's relationship, even though things had ended before she'd even arrived at Hogwarts, before she'd even met James at the beach.

_What if I'm in the way of their happiness? What if James really wants to be with her? I mean, if they're so alike and so great together, then who am I to stand in their way? Fuck._ Lily winced at the sharp pain in her chest. _It would hurt so much if he chose her… but if that's what makes him happiest, them I guess-_

She yelped as a sharp pain shot up her arm and she turned to find Alice glaring at her fiercely. "Stop," she commanded. "Don't you dare go there Lily Isabelle Evans! Or I will slap you into next Tuesday!"

"Alice!" Frank chuckled exasperatedly.

Alice ignored him. "That boy has made an absolute dolt out of himself over you. He and Mar might've been good together at one time, but you're better for him now and in the long run."

Lily put on a brave face, unconsciously rubbing her sore arm, and nodded, though she still felt uncertain. She stored it away to decipher later, along with Thunder Road and the Death Eaters.

She joined Alice and Frank as they skated around the perimeter of the rink, and spend the next hour congenially enough. She raced Sirius from one side of the rink to the other and back - Lily won, much to Sirius's chagrin - played a game of tag - the game had to end when James became It because he was unable to tag anyone - and danced with Alice.

"Okay," James came over during 'Dancing Queen'. "I need to talk a break. I think I've embarrassed myself enough for the moment."

Lily exited the rink with him, and they sat at a large table alone for a few moments. "So, how's the date going so far?" James asked smugly, though Lily could see uncertainty in his eyes.

She grinned. "Not bad."

"So, on a scale from one to ten…"

Lily pretended to think about it. "Hmmmm… maybe a seven," she replied coyly.

"Seven!"

"Guess you need to up your game," she challenged, shocking herself with her daring.

James cocked an eyebrow, smirking as he leaned closer to her. "Oh really? And how exactly should I do that?"

Lily opened her mouth to reply, a saucy retort ready, when Marlene and Dorcas joined them.

"Hey Lily, James," Dorcas said as a heavy tension fell over the table. Marlene and James were glaring at each other and Lily noticed James had moved slightly closer to her.

"Hi Dorcas," Lily said as cheerfully as she could manage. "Where's Emmeline?"

"She has a date with John Carpicio tonight!"

"Finally! She's been complaining about his obliviousness for weeks!"

"How's the season going, Potter?" Marlene mocked.

"Good. Got a match against Durmstrang next," James replied coldly.

"What about you, Lilywhite? How're things for the _fockey_ team?"

Lily ignored Marlene's tone. "Decent enough."

"Sounds like you're the star player," Marlene widened her eyes.

Lily shook her head. "It's a team effort."

"Oh! So modest!" Lily tried to hide her wince. Marlene was in _quite_ the mood. She felt her doubts and guilt rise up in her throat again, adding a slight pressure.

"Anyone want a cheese chip?" Sirius asked as he plopped down next to Marlene. Remus took the seat next to Dorcas, handing her a strawberry milkshake. "Evans?" Sirius held out the plate to Lily.

She started to reach for a chip when she caught Marlene's scowl and instantly dropped her hand. "I'm okay, Sirius."

…

James was about ready to smash his head into a wall. That was, right after her smashed Marlene's first. He glared at his ex-girlfriend as Marlene stared at the redhead like a vulture closing in on its prey.

"Those were some sweet moves out there, Lily," Frank teased as he and Alice sat down. "You'll have to pull those out again at the dance."

"Di hey pi' dte fr tat yt?" Peter asked around a mouthful of pizza.

Remus made a disgusted face, tossing a handful of napkins at the blonde boy as grease drip down Peter's chin. "Take smaller bites Wormy. You're being disgusting."

"Ysss, muher."

"Anyways, they've set it for right before winter hols," Remus answered Peter.

"I heard McGonagall tell Flitwick we won the bid for Bandstand as well," Dorcas squealed excitedly.

"Oh," Lily said softly, sounding a bit timid. "Does that mean we'll be on camera?"

Marlene snorted loudly. "Well, it ain't radio."

James shot Marlene another look before turning to his date. "You okay?" He grabbed her hand under the table, marveling at how soft her skin was as he massaged her palm.

"Yeah," Lily turned to him, the slight bit of worry in her eyes disappearing as she looked at him. "I'm just… I just don't like to be the center of attention." She brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Oh no," Marlene pouted dramatically. "Maybe you shouldn't go then. Stay back in the dorm and play Monopoly with the first years."

"Stop," James spat, his tone firm.

"What?" Marlene blinked innocently. "I'm just saying the whole point is to get on Bandstand, and you know they just love the wholesome type. But if Lily's insecure, then she shouldn't go."

"I don't think Lily's the insecure one," James growled, feeling his blood boil. The temperature at the table dropped to sub-zero levels.

"James," Lily admonished under her breath, yanking on his hand.

Marlene was glaring at him like she'd like nothing more than to rip his jugular out, but James didn't care. He'd been watching Marlene single Lily out for weeks and he was sick of it.

He pushed back his chair, just vaguely aware that everyone at the table was watching him. "Come on, Lil." He pulled her gently from her seat and led her determinedly out the door.

* * *

Lily's, "Bye Al, Dor," had just barely left her mouth before she and James were gone. Marlene was ready to scream.

She sat glaring at the two empty seats across from her. Slowly, conversation started up again around her, but Marlene ignored them all, stewing in her anger.

"You sure know how to clear a room fast," she heard Sirius mutter as he stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth.

She glared at the boy next to her. _Little Miss Whiter-Than-Snow gets_ James _while I'm stuck with this. What the fuck is wrong with the universe?_

"Too fast for your slow brain to process?" Marlene retorted. She didn't know why she was always so harsh with Sirius. She _really_ didn't know why he kept coming back.

"I'm never slow, love," Sirius leered.

Marlene resisted the urge to roll her eyes, instead grimacing disgustedly when Sirius grinned at her with a mouth full of cheese and chomped up chips. "You pig!"

"I love it when you talk dirty to me."

She didn't know why she did it. She barely even realized what she was doing until she saw the results and was staring at a Sirius Black covered in strawberry milkshake, an empty glass in her hand.

"What the fuck McKinnon?" Sirius cried, hopping out of his seat.

"My milkshake!" Dorcas whined.

"Really Mar?" Alice drawled.

Mar ignored them all, grabbing her leather jacket and storming out the door, Sirius's, "My hair!" the last thing she heard before she was enveloped in the howling wind.

With shaking hands she lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply. She leaned against the side of the building and closed her eyes.

Marlene McKinnon felt lost, a feeling she was unused to. She felt like her whole world was flipped upside-down.

She thought back to James's glare. She hated the way he looked at her these days, like she was devil spawn. She missed the way he would slowly open his eyes in the morning, the hazel irises hazy, and grin lazily, an "Alright, McKinnon?" rolling off his tongue. They hadn't shared a moment like that in a long time, not since she'd ruined things.

She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to contain her sob. He'd absolutely broken her heart last spring. She'd spent the whole summer sleeping with as many blokes as she could, because, as Em said, the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. But it was such a lie because Marlene was one hundred percent not over James.

She didn't actually hate Lily. Lily was a lovely person and treated Marlene better than she deserved. The little redhead had even surprised Marlene with her fire and quick comebacks. No, Marlene did not hate Lily, but she did hate the way James looked at Lily. He had never looked at Marlene in that way.

Marlene opened her eyes and stared up at the few stars left in the sky, her heart giving a painful thump. _God, it shouldn't hurt this much._

She glanced over at the sound of the door opening and saw Sirius stalking towards her. He was cleaned of milkshake for the most part, but he looked seriously pissed.

"What the fuck was _that_ , McKinnon?" he hissed.

Marlene tossed away her cigarette, and ignored his question. She strode towards him purposefully, wrapping her hands around his leather collar and yanking his mouth to hers.

Sirius resisted at first, but Marlene refused to take no for an answer. She bit down hard on his lower lip and dropped one hand to cup him through his jeans. Sirius moaned and started responding, pushing Marlene up against the brick wall. His hands went to the snaps on her jeans and he quickly slipped a hand inside. Marlene sucked in a harsh breath and moved to work at unbuttoning Sirius's jeans. Sirius moved his mouth to her neck and Marlene moaned, letting herself get lost in the action.

Because that's all she wanted anymore, to forget, and being with Sirius provided that relief. So, Marlene kissed him back as Sirius shoved her jeans slightly down her hips and lifted on of her legs to tap around his hips.

Marlene just closed her eyes and forgot the world.

* * *

Lily and James sat in silence, only the hum of the engine and a faint guitar strum from the radio to be heard. Lily stared at the flashing lights passing by outside her window, the night too dark and James driving too fast for her to be able to make out any street signs.

She snuck a peak at James, able to make out his tense jaw and the way his knuckles were whitened over the steering wheel. She shifted in her seat, dying to ask James what was wrong, but unsure how he'd respond. After another five minutes of agonising silence, she got fed up.

"Okay! What the hell happened back there?" she blurted, slamming her hands on the dashboard in frustration.

"Nothing," James grunted.

Lily didn't believe him even the slightest bit. "Bullshit." She took a breath, trying to force herself to sound tender. "James… Can you please tell me what's going on?"

He sighed and she saw one of his hands twitch on the steering wheel, and knew he was dying to ruffle his hair. "I don't really feel like getting into it, Lil," he said diplomatically.

Lily shook her head. "I think this is something we need to discuss. You and Marlene were together-"

"You know about that?" James cried incredulously.

"-and obviously things are unresolved between you two. And we can't be together if there are more secrets you've got," Lily finished.

The car was silent again as Lily watched James absorb her words. There was a part of her that regretted her outburst, but for the most part, she knew this needed to be addressed.

"Are you hungry?" James asked randomly.

Lily frowned. "James."

He sighed heavily. "I'm not trying to avoid it, Lil. I can see this is important to you, but we also didn't eat at the rink, and, well, I'm kinda hungry."

Lily didn't reply; she just watched James turn off at an exit and drive down a long, empty road. Lily was about to ask if they were lost when she spotted a small, slightly dilapidated building. James pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine.

"How did you know this was here?" Lily asked as she slid out of the car.

"Sirius and I found it during an outing our fifth year," James explained, reaching for Lily's hand.

"You and Sirius found this your fifth year? How?"

James ruffled his hair, grinning sheepishly. "We wanted to go for a drive. It was Christmastime, so no one was at Hogwarts, and we were bored. Sooooo, we hot-wired Flitwick's car and went on a bit of an adventure."

Lily stared at him, dumbfounded. "That is so illegal!"

James's hand dropped from his hair to his jaw. "Yeah… Padfoot and I have never really been the kind to question the legality of a situation 'til after we've done it."

Lily just shook her head. "You're so stupid."

A middle-aged woman wearing a heavy amount of blue eyeshadow led them over to a booth. Lily looked around at the peeling wallpaper, scuffed floors, and holey booths with stuffing poking out of them. Despite the shabby appearance, the place had a decent amount of patrons, and Lily could smell something sweet coming from the kitchens. The hostess passed them menus without a word and sauntered off.

Lily briefly looked at her menu, when a thought occurred to her. "Padfoot… Prongs… what kind of nicknames are those anyways?"

James looked up, a bit startled. He blushed, tapping his menu against the table. "Unique ones?"

Lily shook her head, trying and failing to not smile. "How did you even come up with that?"

James shrugged. "I don't a hundred percent remember, but it has to do with some project the four of us did for a geology class our second year. We were learning about prehistoric animals, and their modern day counterparts. Sirius picked a dog, which is where we came up with Padfoot; Peter picked rat, so Wormtail; and I picked a stag, hence, Prongs."

"What about Remus?" Lily cocked her head, picturing twelve-year-old Marauder's sitting around, coming up with stupid nicknames for each other. "You guys call him Moony, right? What kind of animal could that refer to?"

James chuckled. "Well, Remus picked the wolf, but he used to be a pretty sickly child, and was unable to sleep around the full moon for some strange reason. So, when Padfoot and I found out he was doing the wolf for his project, we declared that Remus really wasn't ill, he was just a werewolf. Hence, Moony."

Lily grinned, but it faded a bit as she thought about Remus. "Is Remus okay now, though? I mean, he seems to be pretty healthy."

James nodded. "Yeah, no, he takes medications and has to go to the doctor every few months, but he doesn't get ill the way he used to. He just has a really weak immune system, but I think being friends with us - always pulling pranks, and running around, and just generally being active - has helped it grow stronger… or so I like to think."

Lily smiled and looked back down at her menu. She scanned the items, settling on breakfast for dinner. She glanced up at James, gnawing on her lip as she thought about the showdown between Marlene and James at the roller rink. She wondered if she should also ask him about Thunder Road and the Death Eaters now, and get the conversation over and done with. She knew it was bit heavy for a first date - even if this was not officially their first date - but Lily felt she needed to know all this stuff now, before she and James took things any further. She wanted to be with him, but she also didn't want to be blindsided by him or his secrets again. She took a breath, ready to ask, but was interrupted by the waitress before she could.

"What can I get for you?" the girl asked in a monotone, snapping her gum. Lily watched as the waitress looked up, her eyes skimming over Lily and landing on James. Instantly, the girl's eyes lit up and her demeanor changed. "I mean, Hi there. I'm Kristina and I'll be your waitress tonight."

James glanced up from his menu and flashed the girl a distracted smile. "Hi."

"So, like, do you know what you want yet, or, like, not?" Kristina asked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. Lily clenched her jaw. _Who does this blonde haired, brown eyed, big boobed bimbo think she is?_

James gave his menu one last perusal before looking the girl full in the face. Lily watched him carefully as his eyes briefly traversed the girl's body before landing back on her face. She gnawed on the inside of her cheek, searching for some change in his expression, but she couldn't discern anything aside from a polite smile. "I'm not that hungry. I'll just have a bacon cheeseburger with cheddar cheese, a basket of chips, and a chocolate shake."

Lily couldn't help the giggle that escaped her as she listened to his order. James glanced at her and winked, his grin growing larger and making Lily's heartbeat speed up. She instantly felt ridiculous for her animosity towards the waitress.

"Can I get you anything else?" the waitress pushed, glancing meaningfully at James and pointedly ignoring Lily.

"Just whatever Lily wants," James replied.

The waitress reluctantly turned towards Lily, a fake smile plastered on her face. Lily watched the girl's brown eyes scan over Lily's hair and clothes, clearly unimpressed. Lily couldn't help but smirk a little. "I'll have chocolate chip pancakes, please. And a glass of skim milk, if you've got it."

"No, we only have whole," the girl replied in a snooty tone.

"Well, then, agua is fine."

The girl huffed, like getting Lily a glass of water was a huge impediment to her day, and walked away, glancing longingly at James as she went. Lily turned to her date and rolled her eyes. "If I knew I would face such hostile treatment on a date with you, I might have opted out. First Marlene, now our waitress."

James's light expression faded, turning to a more reserved look. He looked down at his silverware, fiddling with the arrangement of the fork, knife, and spoon. Lily reached across the table and grabbed his hands, stopping his fiddling. "Just tell me, James."

He sighed, dropping his head on top of their hands briefly, his forehead against her knuckles. "I'm not proud of this, Lil," he said, his words slightly muffled by their hands.

Lily moved her other hand across the table, running her fingers through his dark locks. She didn't say anything because she wasn't sure what to say, and she had a feeling it wouldn't matter anyways. She just sat and waited, letting James have his moment and gather his thoughts so he could begin. She watched his shoulders lift up and down as he took a deep breath and sat upright to begin his tale.

"Marlene and I grew up together and I mean more than us just attending Hogwarts together for seven years. Our fathers used to work together when we were little, so I used to play with her and her sister at company parties and whatnot. When we got to Hogwarts, things didn't really change until we were about thirteen. I mean, we stayed friends, but not as close as we had been. Emmeline transferred to Hogwarts that year and became friends with Dorcas and Mar, and Remus, Peter, Sirius, and I would do our thing. I'd say when we were about fifteen, we became close again. We were at that age when people start actually dating, and Sirius had a thing for Em at that time, so we all hung out together.

"Marlene was my first kiss," James glanced up at Lily through his eyelashes, as though searching for a reaction. Lily kept her face carefully neutral, though she found she was not all that surprised James and Marlene had a long history. "We got drunk at a football after party and ended up snogging, not that either of us really knew what we were doing. But that was it. The next day, Mar started dating Roger Yunge, who was a seventh year at the time, and I kept myself occupied with… uh, _friends._ " He flushed slightly, unable to maintain eye contact with Lily. He cleared his throat, "Anyways, we stayed friends through fifth year, saw other people and whatever. It was the summer between fifth and sixth year that things changed."

James shifted in his seat, looking a bit uncomfortable. The waitress appeared during his pause, dropping off their drinks, James's with an extra flourish. She pouted when he didn't even look up at her, too busy twining his fingers together in a flustered way. The waitress walked away, discouraged. James took a long sip of his milkshake before continuing.

"Marlene and I have always understood each other. Coming from similar backgrounds, she could always understand why I would do some of the things I did." He glanced up at Lily, looking meaningfully into her eyes. "I'm not necessarily proud of some of the things I've done, nor am I trying to excuse them; I'm just trying to… show you how…. I guess how I was able to be reckless and let loose when I was with Marlene because she understood my motives."

Lily blinked slowly. "Do these… _things_ have to do with the Death Eaters? With Thunder Road?"

James nodded. "Yeah, and I'll get to that soon," he exhaled heavily, and took another sip. "The thing about Marlene is, she doesn't really have a lot of boundaries. Don't get me wrong, she's got boundaries and walls thicker than the Great Wall in China around her heart and emotions, but Marlene will never say no to anything. Whether it's racing bikes at Thunder Road, or having a threesome with some random cheerleader, Mar is always game. So it just worked between us. We could both let loose, do what we wanted - drink, party, do drugs, race fast cars - and do it together. We got all the benefits of a relationship - or at least what we considered benefits, mainly sex - without having to deal with all the mushy emotional, digging deeper, getting-to-know-you stuff. It was Marlene's idea that we keep our relationship open, more of a friends-with-benefits type deal. We could sleep with other people, and if we wanted, we could sleep with each other. And it started out wonderfully.

"We would spend days just in bed, not going anywhere or seeing anyone else besides each other. We would wake up in the middle of the night and decide to go on an adventure, driving around till we could find a motel to crash at. We would go to these insane raves, pop pills even though we had no clue what they were, and just dance the night away. It was like something from a movie. I was supposed to be lifeguarding that summer as well, but I quit about a week after Mar and I started up, because I knew I couldn't maintain a job with the lifestyle I was pursuing."

The waitress returned once again, this time with their food. She didn't stay after dropping off the plates, quickly scurrying back to the kitchen. They sat in silence again, Lily sneaking peaks at James as he dug into his burger. She slowly cut herself a piece of pancake and popped it into her mouth, patiently waiting for James to continue. After a few more bites, he finally did.

"And then it was time to go back to Hogwarts, but we didn't want to end things, so nothing changed. We still slept with each other, slept with other people. We probably skipped more classes than we attended, but neither of us really gave a damn how many detentions we got, since we would just…" He snuck a peak at Lily, cleared his throat. Lily could tell James was hesitant about discussing his sexual life with Marlene, clearly afraid Lily would get mad or jealous. She reached over and squeezed his hand, smiling reassuringly. He watched her for a moment before hesitantly smiling back. It quickly changed to a frown as he got back to his story. "Everything changed, though, around Halloween. Marlene got more or less addicted to Molly. She started spending all her money buying the stuff, would show up to classes high as fuck, and then she ODed." James took a breath, tracing his fingers around the rim of his plate. "Lil, it was one of the scariest moments of my life. She was in the dorm, just me and her, no one else around, and one moment, we're talking and everything's fine. The next, she's convulsing and foaming at the mouth. All the professors had to come; even Dumbledore himself showed up.

""That's when things became real for me. I realized I couldn't just do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted just because I felt suffocated. It didn't matter that Mar and I had what we thought was a good thing going. So, I went back to Hogwarts, cleaned up my act, and moved on with my life. Unfortunately, Mar didn't get a chance to do that. Her parents sent her to rehab for a few months, and she got clean, but she came back to Hogwarts expecting things to be the same as when she left. I mean, I'm assuming she knew I wasn't going to condone a partying lifestyle anymore, but she assumed things would be the same between us. And they were, for about a month, but every time I looked at her, all I saw was her body convulsing on a bed, eyes rolled back in her head, and I just couldn't do it. I wanted out, but I was afraid that if I ended things between us, she would fall back down the rabbit hole again. So, I stuck it out, but I put up major boundaries."

James stopped speaking, appearing to have finished his tale, but Lily was not yet satisfied. "I-I was talking to some friends, and…" she flushed, looking down at her plate as she spoke. "Well, they brought up you and Marlene, and mentioned that… you and Marlene didn't have the best break-up."

James made a face. "That's putting it lightly."

Lily bit her lip. "My friend might've mentioned she threw a fit in the dining hall, and then keyed your car."

James snorted, peering up at her through his eyelashes with a slightly amused expression. "Been talking to Fenwick, have you?"

Lily blushed, causing James to chuckle. He shrugged. "I can't deny it." He ruffed up his hair and let out a long breath. "Because I was distancing myself from Mar, she got… upset, to put it lightly. She would always find an excuse to start a fight, from catching me talking to another girl, even if it was just Al, Dor, or Em, to me not inviting her to come along when Padfoot and I would sneak out of the castle. And what we'd had over the summer just totally disappeared; a relationship that had formerly helped me breathe was now causing me to suffocate again. So, I ended things - and probably in a less than gracious way - and Mar did what she does best: she got angry."

Lily nodded, absorbing the information. She had feeling there was more to the story, at least on Marlene's part. Lily had seen the way the girl looked at James when she thought no one could see, and Lily knew Marlene had fallen for him. Lily didn't bring up her revelations, unsure whether James knew this or not, and not wanting to spill a secret that wasn't hers to spill.

She reached across his plate, snatching a chip and nibbling on it. "What do you mean when you say you were suffocating?"

James tensed, and Lily instantly regretted asking. She was ready to take back her request when she noticed a small crease between James's eyebrows. She'd noticed he got that look when he was seriously contemplating something, so she kept her mouth shut and waited for him to speak.

"Lil, would you say you're close to your parents?" he asked randomly.

Lily was taken aback. It wasn't a question Lily got asked often, mostly because Lily never bothered to offer a lot of information on her home life. "Well," she started slowly, anxiously twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "You know Tuney and I don't have the best relationship, but I guess I'd say my father and I get along fine. I mean, he's my father, so it's not like I tell him every little detail of my life, but I guess I'd say we're closer than your typical father-daughter relationship."

"And your mother?"

Lily felt her heart palpitate and froze. She was struck with a sudden realization that James really did not know anything about her home life. She knew nothing about his home life either. She felt something die inside of her, some sort of light of hope she'd been retaining since the end of August. _Was I making everything bigger that it was in my head? Were we really just a summer fling after all?_

She mentally shook herself. _Now is not the time to be thinking about this. Save for later._ She looked back at James, who was watching her intensely. She stared into his hazel eyes, so beautiful and serious and filled with emotion, and she found herself discussing something she hadn't spoken to anyone but her father about. "My mother and I used to be close."

"Used to be?"

Lily dropped her eyes, poking her pancakes with a fingertip. "My mother was killed in a hit-and-run last April." Silence fell over the pair as Lily stared at the dent in her pancakes.

She continued, "I can remember every detail of that day as if it was a high definition movie. It was the eighteenth, and Mum and I drove to this quaint little town a few miles away from Cokeworth. We were supposed to be shopping for Tuney's birthday, but we found this vintage bookstore, and just had to stop in. My mother was a voracious reader. She used to read while doing everything: vacuuming, cooking dinner, even listen to audiotapes in the car. I remember smelling Mum's lilac perfume and the musty vanilla scent of well-loved books. They were pumping classic rock through the speaker, "Stairway to Heaven", which was Mum's favorite. She was humming along with the song as she perused travel novels - they were her favorite - and I skimmed through this beautiful handbound copy of _Vilette_. She could tell how much I loved the book, but we were shopping for Tuney, so we left without getting anything."

Lily felt her throat constrict, and she reached for her glass of water. She took a long drink, closing her eyes. James reached across the table and grabbed her hand, shocking Lily enough that she splashed some of the liquid on herself. James brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed each of her knuckles before enveloping her cold fingers between his warm palms. Lily offered him a shaky smile and went on. "We were in this clothing store and Mum found this beautiful dress that she knew Tuney would just love. It was far too expensive, but Mum couldn't resist. While we were paying, she dug through her purse, claiming she couldn't find her glasses. She told me to pay and that she would meet me at this cafe we had spotted whilst driving through town.

"I paid for Tuney's gift and left for the cafe. I must've been sitting in the cafe for maybe fifteen minutes when there was the horrible squeal of skidding tires. Sometime between Mum and I leaving the bookstore and buying Tuney's gift, it had started pouring out, so the roads were really slick. Well, everyone in the cafe heard the squeal, obviously, and all rushed to the window to look. But I didn't because I thought it was unimportant; just some car hydroplaning, no big deal. It wasn't until people started gasping and murmuring that I finally looked." Lily swallowed hard again and took a breath. "So I went to look as well. All I saw was this car flying down the road. I didn't even think to look at where it had come from, only watched where it was going. And at the moment, I didn't think much of it, till I finally turned and saw someone lying in the middle of the street."

A sob caught in her throat and Lily pressed a hand to her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. James stood up from his side of the booth, instantly sliding onto her bench and wrapping her in his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his torso, burying her face in his neck, and breathing him in as she finished her tale. "I was in complete shock. I didn't think much of anything aside from "Oh my god!", but I felt a disconnect from the situation. I didn't know this person, and sure, it was horrible, but it didn't affect me. But a part of me must've known, because I got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that made me pull out my phone and dial Mum's number. And when she didn't pick up, everything just stopped. I remember not really being aware of anything else around me, just getting up numbly from my table and walking out into the ran, getting instantly soaked. A group of people had formed around the body, but I pushed my way through them. But even before I saw it, I knew it was Mum… because lying only a slight bit away from her was _Vilette_." Lily looked up at James, his face like a van Gogh painting, a mass of blurry colors. "She went back to the bookstore to buy the book for _me_. She died because of _me_!"

She buried her face in his chest again, her tears falling hot and fast. James held her even tighter, rocking her slightly as he shushed her. She heard him murmur something, but she was focused on listening to the sound of his heart. "James… I-I've never seen a body look like that before. I didn't even think it was _possible_ for elbows to bend that way. And there was just so much blood!" She shuddered violently, and James brushed a hand over her head, pressing her further into him. "After, I don't remember much. I was told later that I had a panic attack, that I just lost it, and started screaming and hyperventilating. Once the police showed up, and the EMTs managed to calm me down, they took me and some man who had witnessed the whole thing back to the station. I guess I was sane enough at the time to give them my name and identify Mum's body, but the only thing I remember is waking up the next day curled up in Tuney's bed, Petunia asleep next to me and holding my hand." She pulled back to look at James's face. "That was the last time Petunia showed any form of affection towards me."

James kissed the top of her head before nudging her a little. "C'mon," he muttered.

Lily looked up confused, then noticed that James was pulling some cash out of his pocket for the check. Lily felt her cheek flame up as she hurriedly wiped at her tears. She allowed James to pull her from the booth as she kept her eyes on the ground embarrassedly. A watery giggle escaped her, "I forgot we were in public."

James didn't respond, just yanked on her hand and pulled her in close to his side. They walked out to the car, their breaths exhaling in white clouds in front of their mouths. "This is so embarrassing," Lily mumbled. "Crying on the first date…"

They stopped next to his car, James wrapping an arm around her waist and keeping her against him, while his other hand came up to grab her chin and tilt it up. "There's no need to be embarrassed. Thank you for sharing that with me."

She leaned her forehead against his collarbone, just breathing in his scent as she worked to calm herself. She was thankful he didn't offer her any words of condolence or look at her with pity. She finally pulled herself together and pulled away. They smiled softly at each other and climbed into the car.

…

James's thoughts were rushing around in his head like a mini hurricane. When Lily had started to talk about her family, he was definitely not expecting to hear such a sad tale. _And only last April? That's only a couple of months before we met._ He found himself going over the the beginning of the summer, when they had first met. Lily had been reserved and quiet then, feisty and cheeky of course, but now as he compared her to the girl he'd seen in the hallways of the castle, he realized she'd been much more subdued over the summer. He just wanted to hold her again and tell her he'd never let go of her again.

There was one question that was pushing insistently on his mind. "Did they ever catch the driver?"

Lily sniffled, shaking her head. "No," she said, her voice still thick with tears. "The witness caught the license plate number, but it was from a stolen car. The only thing the witness could say about the driver was that he looked young and that he had a tattoo on his forearm. The witness couldn't make out the tattoo specifically, but he was certain the driver had one."

James felt himself stiffen, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. _A tattoo on the forearm?_ He had this horrible churning feeling in his stomach. He had no evidence, no proof aside from a gut feeling, but James thought the driver might've been a Death Eater. He kept these suspicions to himself, not wanting to reveal anything to Lily till he had something more concrete.

He cleared his throat. He needed to distract her, take her thoughts away from the hurtful memories because he couldn't stand watching her cry, even if the tears made her eyes even bigger and more brilliant, and her pink cheeks and nose looked adorable. "Well, the reason I asked about your parents is because I'm not that close with mine. My parents are older, and I mean a lot older. My mum was in her mid forties when she had me. My parents are the definition of workaholics, especially my father." He cleared his throat again, and began. "Well, obviously you know my last name is Potter, but you probably didn't know that my father was the owner and CEO of Potter Medical Trust." Lily shook her head slowly. He chuckled humorlessly. "Basically, it's a multinational medical devices, pharmaceutical, and consumer packaged goods manufacturer. My great-grandfather founded the company, and it has been passed down from father to son for generation. One day, I will inherit the company."

He snuck a peak over at Lily. She shifted slightly in her seat, and appeared to be looking at him in a different way, a more critical, analyzing way, like she was looking for signs of his wealth. "You don't sound too happy about that," she observed. "Most young men would be ecstatic to hear that they're inheriting a multi-million dollar company."

James shook his head, focusing back on the road. "It's not what I necessarily want to do with my life."

He could feel Lily's piercing stare on him. "What _do_ you wanna do?"

James didn't react for a few moments. Finally he rolled his shoulders. "It doesn't matter what I want. This is what I have to do with my life. One day, I, just like my father and my grandfather, will inherit PMT and become a rich bastard."

Lily didn't respond for a long while, the two of them back to listening to the hum of the engine. "And that's why you feel suffocated? Because you're being forced into something you don't want to be a part of?"

James sighed. "It's not that I don't want to be a part of PMT. It's a family business, so of course I feel an obligation towards it, and I don't want to be that stereotypical heir who just sits back and takes all the money he inherits just to buy fast cars and yachts, and bet at casinos in Monte Carlo. When I inherit PMT, I plan to run it and work for my earnings, just like anyone else…"

"But you'd like the chance to do something else if you could?"

James nodded. "I've never been given any other option. My father's been teaching me how to run the business since I was ten years old. Being at Hogwarts has been the only time in my life when I've felt like I was relieved of a heavy burden. Every summer I go home and get sent to the office to be my father's shadow. But every September 1, I get to be James Potter, Marauder, not James Potter, heir." He turned his head briefly to look at Lily. "I-It's not an excuse, Lil, because nothing can excuse the way I treated you, but I have this reputation that I can never really be free from. As my father's son, I'm the dignified, reserved heir; as a Marauder, I'm a playboy and prankster. With both, I'm a selfish, arrogant, spoiled prick. But - and this sounds so fucking cheesy - but when I'm with you, I feel like I can actually just be me. I can actually be James."

He felt his cheeks heat at the admission and he focused on turning onto the exit that would lead them back to Hogwarts. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that seeing you again was a huge shock. I had already settled into my Hogwarts persona, and seeing you, this girl who had no clue who I was or what I'd inherit; who'd treated me like everyone else and not some privileged god, just got me all mixed up, and before I knew it, I was making one of the biggest mistakes of my life."

He drove up the long drive to Hogwarts, staring up at the castle. It truly looked like something from the Medieval Era in the night, with the windows lit up slightly by the lanterns in the corridor, and the backdrop of stars. He pulled into the student lot, and parked the car in his assigned spot. He turned off the engine and turned in his seat to look at Lily. She was gnawing on the inside of her cheek, thinking hard. She twirled a strand of hair between her fingers absentmindedly. James reached over, taking the strand from her fingers and pushing it behind her ear. That jolted her from her reverie, and she smiled shyly at him. "It sucks that you don't get to pick your life… but James, I don't see why you can't turn this into a positive thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm guessing you create theses personas to protect yourself because you feel like you cannot be your real self when you're working for your father or at school, but what if you just forget all that? Maybe if you just be yourself when you're in those situations, it won't be so painful for you."

James didn't respond. He didn't really want to think about his future or the company, not when Lily was sitting in front of him looking so beautiful and acting so understanding. He just wanted to lean over and kiss her till they both felt was woozy.

He felt a grin spread across his face as she started to blush the longer he stared at her. She looked down shyly. "What about Marlene? You said she was suffocated as well."

James was taken slightly aback. _Just because you want to kiss her senseless doesn't mean she feels the same way._ "Mar comes from a similar background that I do. Our father's work together: her father is the owner of a pharmaceutical that we sell our products to." He was struck by the thought that Marlene probably wouldn't appreciate James telling Lily this, but it was too late now. But James also knew Lily would never tell anyone this information, nor use it against Marlene the way Marlene would exploit Lily's secrets.

"What about Thunder Road and the Death Eaters?"

This date was definitely not going the way James had wanted it to go. _First, our date gets crashed, then she starts crying. Now I'm confessing secrets about my past._ But he had promised to talk to her about these topics, and he didn't want to break another promise to her. "How do they tie in?" Lily pressed.

James looked away from her, running a hand through his hair and yanking on the dark strands. "Thunder Road, the Death Eaters, they tie into everything. I told you a few months ago that the Death Eaters work for Tom Riddle," Lily nodded. "Well, where do you think Mar was getting all her molly from?"

Lily blanched. "When the Death Eaters couldn't find Mar during those months she was in rehab, they sought me out. When I refused to pay for her drugs, Lestrange challenged me to a race. Looking back now, it was incredibly stupid, but incredibly thrilling. I beat him, and Lestrange walked away without payment. I'm assuming Riddle punished him for losing payment, which is why they hate me and the guys so much. Well, not Snape. Snape hated me before then," James observed.

Lily let out a long breath and looked up at him. A small giggle escaped her lips and it filled him up with lightness as she grinned. "We're just great at dates, aren't we?"

He grinned back. "The best." He felt his grin fade a little as he went over the night.

"Hey," she called his attention back. "I had a good time tonight. Thank you, James."

_It can't end like this._ "I think I know a way to make this date better," he murmured suggestively, leaning towards her.

"Oh really?" she flirted, her eyes dropping down to his lips. When she looked back up at him, he leaned forward and kissed her.

_Fucking hell._ James groaned as one of his hands moved to the back of her head, his fingers sifting through her soft hair. He had missed kissing her like this. Their kiss earlier in the week in the corridor had been great, of course, but it was nothing like this.

He moved his lips fervently over hers, Lily responding with the same amount of enthusiasm as him. Her hands moved to his shoulders as she started to lean backwards. James followed her, making sure to keep their lips connected, as they moved horizontally. Before he could fully think through the action, the hand not caught in her hair moved up over her curves to trace over the top of her breasts. Lily gasped, giving him ample opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue moving into her mouth. Lily moaned softly, moving her hands up to his hair, and James thought he might lose it then and there.

James moved his lips away from Lily's making his way across her cheek, down her jaw, and to her neck. He worked his lips fervently over that spot just below her jaw that he knew always made her eyes roll into the back of her head. "James," Lily moaned, arching her back into him. James smirked against her skin and knew the night couldn't have ended better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Hey guys. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had so much fun writing it. I'm sorry it took me a while to update, but as you can see, this one was a doozie! Lemme know what you guys thought: about the date, about their backstories, about hearing from Marlene's POV. I'd really love to hear your feedback.
> 
> As always, just wanted to point out a few things...
> 
> 1\. James's fist pump in a homage to John Bender aka the Criminal aka Judd Nelson from The Breakfast Club. If you haven't see it, go watch it. It's a classic
> 
> 2\. The Michael Jackson song from the roller rink that I wrote the scene to is "Off The Wall"
> 
> 3\. Fockey stands for field hockey
> 
> 4\. "Yeah… Padfoot and I have never really been the kind to question the legality of a situation 'til after we've done it." Is an homage to the one and only Han Solo
> 
> Good luck to anyone with finals week upcoming. I might not be able to update for a while due to this, but I'll try my best. Happy Friday!
> 
> xoxo Evie


	7. Chapter VI: Born to Hand Jive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.
> 
> A/N: {...} You know the drill by now
> 
> Also, I need you guys to remember that this is an AU FIC meaning, this is an ALTERNATIVE WORLD. So while I've tried to keep canon personalities and some canon relationships, nothing is the same. So, please, just bear with me for this.

_ VI. Born to Hand Jive _

_"Before I was born, late one night, my papa said everything's alright_

_The doctor paid, my mama laid down, with her stomach bouncing all around_

_Cause the bebop stork was about to arrive_

_Mama gave birth to a hand-jive"_

Anyone with eyes could see things had changed between James and Lily. It was plainly obvious they were together. James had taken to glaring at anyone with a Y-chromosome who so much as looked at Lily, while Lily had adapted this dreamy, ecstatic expression whenever she was in James's presence. They went everywhere together, did everything together: walking to classes, eating meals, watching the other's practices and games.

Marlene felt like she was going to puke if she had to watch the pair make puppy dog eyes at each other one more time. She could not take listening to all her peers talk about just how _cute_ they were. "You do have to agree, they are pretty adorable together," Dorcas was saying cautiously, as Marlene, Emmeline, and her sat in the dorm late one night, trying on dresses for the dance.

"No, I don't," Marlene responded stubbornly.

Emmeline modeled in front of the mirror, a navy blue cocktail dress held against her body. "You're just jealous."

Marlene snorted. "Of that Vestal Virgin? Try again." The way she flipped the page of her issue of British Vogue proved otherwise. She didn't miss the look Dorcas and Emmeline exchanged when they thought she wasn't looking. "I just don't get what James could possibly see in her."

"Well," Dorcas started cautiously, holding out her arm so she could examine the cluster of bangles around her wrist. "She's smart and kind. Very forgiving."

"Plus an arse I'd _kill_ for," Emmeline put in, spinning around to examine her own father flat backside in the mirror. "All the guys think she's beautiful."

Marlene scowled, but had to admit she'd heard the boys around school talk about the redhead's looks as well. "Okay, those are all true, but let's look at James." She shifted so she was sitting up on her knees. "In the past, what has James looked for in women?"

Dorcas and Emmeline pondered the question.

"Big breasts?" Emmeline guessed.

"Someone who likes to party?" Dorcas cried.

Marlene sighed. _Am I honestly the only one with brains in the room right now?_ "Someone who's willing to put out."

"Oooooohhhh," the other two girls nodded in unison.

"And I think we all know Lily is not that kind of girl. Plus, we'd know if they'd slept together because she would've told Alice and Al would've told us."

"Yeah," Emmeline pondered. "But James is different with Lily. Anyone can see it. He seems almost… I wanna say... gentler? More gentlemanly, maybe. I don't really know how to pin it down, but I have a feeling that boy would not have an issue waiting as long as Lily wanted."

"Plus, I don't know if he would even have to wait that long," Dorcas giggled. "Lily is so enamored with him, I think she'd be willing to give in if he just asked nicely and politely enough."

Marlene felt her blood boil, her stomach churn, her fists clench. She turned the page of her magazine much harder than she intended, the page ripping clean through. Emmeline and Dorcas both turned to look, before turning away quickly to avoid Marlene's wrath.

Marlene would just never be able to understand just how James could possibly choose to be with someone like _Lily_ over Marlene. Did their history mean nothing to him anymore? Did he just not care?

"How're things going with Sirius?" Dorcas asked hesitantly as she got off the bed and pulled a red dress from a shopping bag to try on.

Marlene made a face. That was yet another mess Marlene didn't even want to think about. She liked Sirius well enough, and the sex was most definitely not something to complain about, but she had been noticing a change in him lately that she was not at all comfortable with. He was starting to develop feelings, and Marlene didn't do feelings. Love had ruined her once; she refused to let it ruin her again.

"I think that's going to have to end," she replied nonchalantly, tossing aside the magazine and joining the other girls in trying on dresses.

"Why? I've heard he's an even better lay than Potter," Emmeline asked.

"The sex is… good, but I'm getting bored," Marlene sighed. "But I think I've found someone more exciting than those two put together. He should be texting me any minute now."

"Who?" the other two girls asked simultaneously. They couldn't fathom the idea of someone more exciting than a Marauder.

Marlene smirked. There was nothing she loved more than keeping people in suspense. It made sure she was the sole focus of their every thought. "You'll meet him soon enough. He's going to be my date to the dance."

"But I thought Sirius already asked you?" Dorcas frowned.

Marlene made a face, scoffing, "Don't be ridiculous, Dor. I _just_ said things were getting boring with him, did I not? It's time for me to move on and get my kicks while I'm still young."

Emmeline pouted at her reflection. "I don't have a date yet. No one's asked me."

"I thought Peter asked you," Dorcas smirked.

Emmeline scowled. "I repeat, _no one's_ asked me."

"Well," Dorcas smiled excitedly. "Remus is taking me."

Emmeline gasped. "No way! _So_ not fair! Remus is my second favorite Marauder. He's got such dreamy eyes."

Marlene ignored her two friends' chatter, turning to her phone as it vibrated. She glanced down at the screen. She had a text from Alice from their group chat, and another from Sirius. She deleted the text from Sirius without even reading it, pushing down her guilty conscience. She moved to drop her phone on the bed when it vibrated again. She glanced down at the number and smirked. "I'll see you ladies later. My date calls."

Marlene ignored her friends' stares as she strutted out the door. She knew she was playing with fire, but she had no fear of getting burnt.

* * *

Lily was having a hard time concentrating in English. She could feel James's eyes on the back of her neck, feel his body heat through the plastic chair. She'd never been so aware of someone in her life, and she found it both thrilling and terrifying. She shifted in her seat and tried to pay attention to McGonagall's lecture.

She felt a weight on her seat and she glanced down to see James had hooked his ankles around her chair legs. She bit her lip, trying to fight as smile as she felt her chair move a few centimeters. Every few minutes, her chair would move further and further away from her desk, and closer to James's. Finally, she felt her seat back hit his desk. She heard him shift in his seat, and suddenly felt his breath on the back of her neck. She pressed her lips together, fighting back a whimper, and regretting wearing her hair up.

"Lily," James breathed. She kept her eyes on McGonagall, whose back was turned to the class, and tried to make herself focus.

"Lily," James said again, his foot shifting so it bumped her crossed legs. "Why'd you wear your hair up today?"

Lily felt herself flush, her body tingling in all sorts of interesting places. She shivered as he blew cool air on her neck, his chuckle traveling down her spine. "Lily." He paused. _I fucking hate the pauses._ "Why'd you wear your hair up?" He groaned and the tingles increased. "I hate sitting here, staring at your neck. It's just too tempting." He leaned forward and she jumped slightly when she felt the cool tip of his nose against her nape. "And you just smell _so_ good." Her whole body became enflamed when she felt his lips against her skin.

She nearly cried out when the bell rang, she'd become so lost in a world of just Lily and James. Lily's chest was heaving as she struggled to control her breathing and racing heart, keeping her face down as she packed up her bag. She was aware of the stares of the other students, could vaguely make out their whispers. She was thankful for her free period now, as she wasn't certain she could sit through another class, knowing gossip about James's activities would be making the rounds soon enough.

She grabbed her things and hurried from the classroom. Without having to look, she knew James was following her. She headed for the library, thinking it'd be a safe haven, but James grabbed her waist before she could get too far. "And just where do you think you're going?" His voice was low in her ear.

"To the library," she replied breezily, her voice sturdier than anything else in her body. "Some of us actually _do_ work and study."

"Hm, well, I've got a better idea," he whispered seductively as he pulled her into an alcove. He pressed her up against a wall next to a window, his hands on her hips keeping her trapped. He dipped his head, trailing his nose across the top of her head and down to her neck. He groaned low in his throat and a small whimper escaped Lily. "Why'd you have to wear your hair up today? I nearly jumped you in front of Minnie."

Lily closed her eyes, her fingers scratching uselessly against the stone wall as James's lips brushed lightly against her jaw. "Don-Don't you have class?" _Bloody fucking hell._ She couldn't even talk or think.

She yelped as he bit down lightly on a tendon before running his tongue over the area and sucking on the skin. Lily felt her eyes roll into the back of her head, any more resistance leaving her system. "I have five minutes," he murmured against her skin.

Lily carded her fingers through his hair and forced his head up to her lips, their mouths fusing together in a heated passion. They both moaned as their tongues touched and the kiss depended. She gripped his chin and turned his head to the side so she could work her lips over his neck. The sound of his heavy breaths in her ear made her toes curl. They had kissed often over the summer, but somehow this was different. _Fucking hell, was it always this good?_ she thought as their mouths met again.

One thing that was definitely different was that James was much bolder. Over the summer, they had kept their actions to mainly snogging sessions, and while they were still only snogging, James seemed to have no hesitations about feeling Lily up as often as he could. One of his hands left its perch on her hip and travelled up over her stomach to cup a breast. He groaned again as he squeezed the soft mound and Lily felt her whole body flush. "James," she whined softly, arching her back and pressing herself further into his hands. His pushed her back, pressing her harder into the wall. _God, if he keeps this up, I might just be willing to have a go in an alcove._

It was the sound of the bell that broke their moment. They both jumped at the obnoxious sound and pulled slightly away from each other. James cursed under his breath, burying his face in her neck. Lily's chest was heaving as she ran her hands over his back, waiting for her body to cool down. "I don't wanna go. Please don't make me go," James begged, kissing the side of her neck briefly before pulling away and leaning his forehead against hers.

Lily brought her hands up, running her fingers over his cheekbones. "I wish you didn't have to." He pouted and turned his head to kiss the side of her hand. Lily sighed happily, "You're so lovely James."

He chuckled, his eyes sparkling. "I always have been complimented for my astounding good looks."

Lily flicked his check lightly. "Not what I meant," she replied, kissing the same cheek.

James sighed and pulled away. He took her hand, and they walked out of the alcove and down the hallway. Neither said anything, just content to be in the other's presence. They paused outside James's next class, both reluctant to part. "Lily," James started, taking a step closer to her. "Will you go to the dance with me?"

Lily gave him a peculiar look. "I thought it was already established I'd go with you."

"It was assumed, but assuming usually makes an ass of oneself. I'd rather ask you; it's the polite and gentlemanly way of doing it. Plus, then I'll know without a doubt."

Lily grinned. "This is why you're so lovely."

"Is that a yes?"

Lily nodded eagerly, unable to stop smiling. "Of course."

James grinned back, swooping down to kiss her again. When they pulled apart, he wiggled his eyebrows at her, opening the door to his class. "Mr. Potter! How nice of you to join us!" the professor said.

Lily giggled to herself as she walked away, the sound of James's voice as he made up an elaborate excuse following her down the hallway.

* * *

James felt like a bit of an idiot with the way he was unable to stop grinning as he walked to lunch. He had been twitchy all throughout maths, unable to think about anything but Lily and that alcove. He had missed the lesson entirely and knew he'd have to get notes from Remus later.

"What's up with you, Prongs? You're jumpier than Sirius after four cans of Red Bull," Remus asked as they walked to the dining hall.

"Nothing," James replied breezily.

Remus grinned shamelessly. "Does your jumpiness have anything to do with why you were late today? Further, does your lateness have to do with a certain redhead?"

James fought back against an even more foolish grin than the one he had as he pictured the way Lily's eyes had turned even more emerald when he'd asked her to the dance. "I haven't the slightest what you're talking about, Moony."

Remus merely chuckled and left James alone to his sappy thoughts. He had to restrain himself from sprinting over to their usual table as they entered the dining hall. His eyes instantly sought Lily out, finding her standing at a table with Alice, the two of them talking to Benjy Fenwick. He felt his heartbeat pick up as Lily threw her head back and laughed, the musical sound settling in his stomach as he stared at the white column of her neck. _Oh fucking, buggering hell. We need to find another alcove._

Lily must have felt his gaze on her because she turned her head towards the door, their eyes meeting. She flushed and grinned, the smile lighting up her whole face. Alice and Benjy exchanged a coy smirk as they looked at Lily, who was fidgeting with her skirt as Remus and James continued their journey to the table.

"MCKINNON!"

Everyone froze at the furious cry. James's head turned so quickly, he was surprised he didn't pull a tendon as he watched Sirius march through a side door and over to their table. Remus and James exchanged a looked and moved closer, ready to grab Sirius if restraint was necessary.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?"

Marlene sat casually at the table, filing her nails, and not even bothering to look up at Sirius's entrance. Dorcas and Emmeline stared wide-eyed up at the boy, cowering slightly behind their friend. "Yes, Black?" Marlene asked, a hint of irritation in her tone, like she was a fed-up mother dealing with a child.

"WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?"

Marlene blew on her nails, holding her arm out and examining her hand from afar. "Around."

Sirius grabbed her wrist, and James and Remus lurched forward. But thankfully, Padfoot was enough in control of himself that he only pushed Marlene's arm down forcefully. She glared up at him hostilely, refusing to give in. Neither seemed aware that the whole hall had fallen silent, everyone listening in on their showdown. "Marlene."

"Sirius," Marlene mocked.

Sirius frowned, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the girl. "Where. Were. You?"

"Sorry, Papa. I promise I won't go out without your permission ever again," Marlene said in a baby voice, making her eyes big and innocent and mocking.

"Why did Severus fucking Snape come up to me just now and say you were with Lestrange last night?"

Marlene shrugged. "Because I was."

Everything seemed to freeze. There were gasps that echoed throughout the hall, and James watched Dorcas and Emmeline back away from Marlene, looking at her with a mixture of disgust and shock. James could feel Lily's eyes on him, but he couldn't look at her. All he could do was stare at Sirius, who looked crushed, though anyone who didn't know him personally would just think he looked pissed. But James saw the way Sirius slightly recoiled at the way Marlene casually threw her words at him. And when he looked at Marlene, all James could see was a cruel satisfied gleam in her eye.

He and Sirius spoke up at the same time.

"What?" James shouted.

"You fucked _Lestrange_?" Sirius barked.

Marlene's head turned the slightest centimeter in the direction where James stood and he saw her flinch, but she kept her eyes steadfastly on Sirius. "Yeah. And lemme tell you, he _really_ knows what he's doing."

That was the breaking point for Sirius. "Fuck. You," he spat. "I hope you get chlamydia, you _slut_." He spun on his heel and stalked towards the exit. He paused right before walking out. "You weren't that good a lay anyways."

James watched Marlene, who was staring at the exit. Slowly, she turned her head to look at James. He snorted and shook his head, clapping slowly. "I hope you're happy, Mar. Good luck getting yourself out this time." He turned his back on her before she could respond and strode after Sirius. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Marlene get up and leave, a banner of red chasing after the brunette.

James pushed through the doors that led to the playing fields. He knew Sirius was headed for the bleachers; it's where they all went when they needed an escape. It was Marauder territory, had been since first year, and everyone else knew to stay away. He paused, leaning against the bleacher railing. He stared at his best mate, who was lighting a cigarette with shaky hands.

"You were right," Sirius said finally, taking a drag.

James didn't respond. He didn't need to, and he wasn't callus enough to bring out the 'I told you so' that hung very obviously in the air.

"Marlene is more than just hot and cold. She's a fucking ice queen who cares about no one but herself," Sirius continued, his tone attempting at being scathing but falling short.

"Marlene's doing what Marlene does best: self-destruct. Marlene doesn't handle having feelings too well, and-"

"I don't really want to hear excuses right now, Prongs," Sirius exhaled.

James nodded. "Wanna get wasted instead?"

"What about Moony and Wormtail?"

"Nah, just you and me. Like old times." James slapped Sirius on the back and helped him up. "Hey, maybe if we get lucky, Rosie will even give us a bottle to take back."

They started walking in the direction of Hogsmeade, James pulling out his own pack of cigarettes. "Hey Prongs," Sirius spoke up when they were halfway to the village.

"Yeah?"

"I like Evans," Sirius said earnestly. "Don't fuck things up like last time, yeah?"

James nodded. "I'm not aiming to, Pads."

A few hours later, James returned from Hogsmeade more than a little tipsy. Padfoot was totally wasted, passed out in the dorm after James managed to find Remus, the pair of them carrying the boy to his bed. But James had no desire to hit the sack just yet. It was after midnight, but his intoxicated brain did not register that when he whipped out his phone and texted Lily.

He waited outside the girls' dormitory until the door creaked open, and luckily for James, Lily tiptoed out. "James, what on-"

He muffled her words with his mouth, pressing her against the wall next to her dorm and devouring her. Lily whimpered sweetly into his mouth and melted into him, kissing him with just as much fervor. They were both dying for breath when they pulled apart, though James refused to move away from her warm body. He buried his face in her hair. "Please don't ever leave me, Lily. I don't know what I'd do if you fucked a Death Eater."

"James?" Lily pulled back, looking confused. "What are you talking about?"

He kissed her again, softer and sweeter this time, pulling away shortly. "I just, I-I lo-" He stopped himself short. _Holy shit. Did you almost just say you_ love _her?_ Even his drunken, slow brain knew better than to blurt out confessions of love at that moment. Their relationship was far too new, Lily having forgiven him far too recently, and James was far too drunk for her to take him seriously. But James also knew that he meant it. James Potter was in love with Lily Evans.

He quickly tried to cover his mistake. "I just love being with you so much, and if I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. I'd go insane, probably."

Lily didn't reply, and James panicked, thinking she had caught onto his mistake, but she sighed and alleviated his fears. "I know. It was so sad to watch. Poor Sirius; Poor Marlene."

James pulled back to look at Lily, slightly shocked. "Poor Marlene?"

Lily nodded. "She has feelings for him."

James cocked an eyebrow, unconvinced. "How do you figure?"

"I went after her."

* * *

A Few Hours Earlier….

_Lily watched Marlene get up and hurry from the hall. Unable to stop herself, Lily hurried after the brunette, the doors closing behind her and an eruption of noise exploding from the dining hall. Lily ignored them all, only focusing on the fleeing figure in front of her._

_"Marlene!"_

_Marlene ignored Lily's call, continuing down the hall, her long legs carrying her quickly. Luckily, field hockey was keeping Lily in shape and making it easy for her to catch up. "Marlene! Wait! Please, I jus-"_

_"What the fuck do you want, Lily?" Marlene sneered, stopping short and turning to face Lily._

_Lily pulled up short, shocked Marlene had stopped. Marlene's furious face was inches from Lily's as she spat, "What? Come to throw holy water on me? Give me brochures to a fertility center, or a packet of condoms? Come to sneer at the branded_ whore _?"_

_Lily took a step back from the furious and obviously hurt girl. Still, Lily refused to let Marlene put her off her mission. "I came to see if you're okay."_

_Marlene blinked, shock passing quickly over her features before they hardened again. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? I got laid last night, didn't I?"_

_Lily sighed and shook her head. "I know you're not okay."_

_Marlene rolled her eyes. "You know nothing about me, Lilywhite. Who are you to judge?"_

_Lily held her tongue, knowing she shouldn't divulge the fact that James had told her about Marlene's past. "I'm not judging. I just… I'm sure that wasn't easy, pushing away a guy you have feelings for?"_

_That made Marlene pause. "What?"_

_Lily shifted her weight. She was starting to feel a bit unsure of herself, but as she looked at Marlene's body posture and facial expression, she could read shock and the need to protect oneself. "Sirius. You have feelings for Sirius."_

_Marlene's face turned as red as Lily's hair. "Don't pretend like you know anything about what I'm feeling!"_

_Lily sighed. This was a pointless battle. If Marlene wasn't ready to admit her feelings for Sirius, Lily wasn't going to push it. "We both know you pushed him away because you're scared. I know how that feels."_

_"You and I," Marlene gestured between their bodies. "Are_ nothing _alike."_

_"No, not really," Lily admitted. "But when I feel cornered and scared and uncertain, I lash out. I run. I do whatever I need to protect myself. And that's what you're doing right now."_

_Marlene rolled her eyes. "I don't feel cornered, scared, or uncertain. I feel irritated and horny, both of which you are not helping with."_

_Lily sighed again. "I know we haven't gotten off to the best start-"_

_Marlene snorted derisively._

_"-but I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to," Lily finished. She waited to see if Marlene would say something else, but the other girl just turned on her heel and walked away._

* * *

James grinned down at Lily. "You're too nice," he told her, bopping her nose.

Lily swatted his hand away. "Well, it was pretty clear Em and Dor weren't going to go after her. Someone had to uphold the girl code!"

"Girl code?"

Lily grinned. "That no matter what, we females always stick together."

James rolled his eyes. "No way Mar would've done that for you."

"You're probably right," Lily admitted. "But it was still the right thing to do."

She was too good, far too good for him. James kissed her again, longer this time. He nibbled on her bottom lip, getting her to open her mouth. He groaned as the coolness of mint toothpaste hit his tongue. He ran his hands over Lily's hips, his fingers slipping over a gauzy fabric. "What are you wearing?" he murmured as he pulled back to look down at her. It was a bit difficult to make out specifics due to the lack of lighting in the hallway, but the light from the full moon was just enough for James to see that Lily was wearing a rather short and flimsy nightgown, her hair a tousled mess.

Lily looked up at him sheepishly. "It _is_ 1:30 in the morning," she informed him.

James traced his fingers up her body, the sheer fabric and moonlight revealing a tempting peek at the outline of her figure. He traced the curve of her waist and dragged a finger over the top of her cleavage. "Are you wearing a bra?"

"Are you drunk?"

"No." At Lily's disbelieving look, he chuckled. "Maybe a little." He dragged a finger over her collarbone and bent his head so his tongue could follow the same path. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Reading," Lily breathed. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled on the strands, pleasurable pinpricks spreading across his skull as she dragged him back to her mouth. She kissed slowly and thoroughly, taking her sweet time to explore the whole of his mouth. When she pulled back, James felt even more intoxicated as she moved her mouth over his jaw. "How's Sirius?"

"Bad. He's passed out in bed right now, so he's fine, but tomorrow he's gonna have a killer hangover and still have lost the girl." James exhaled harshly as Lily sucked hard on the skin underneath his ear.

She pulled back to look him in the eye. James traced his fingers over her face, mesmerized by her beauty. "What's going to happen? Do you think Marlene will-"

James cut her off. He didn't want to think about Marlene or the past. "I don't think she'd be that stupid twice, but then again, she did sleep with Lestrange." He plucked a kiss from Lily's lips. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

They snogged for another five minutes before Lily pulled away. She yawned hugely and leaned her head against James's shoulder, closing her eyes. He chuckled as he cradled her head. "I didn't realize my snogging skills had become so abysmal as to put people to sleep."

Lily grinned. "They were always abysmal, I just had coffee to keep me awake before."

He nudged her lightly and kissed the crown of her head. "We should hit the sack." He pulled away and looked down at her, raising an eyebrow suggestively. "Care to join me?"

She smirked. "You wish."

"I do." He kissed her one last time before back away. "Goodnight Lil."

"Goodnight James."

* * *

The week leading up to the dance was insanely tense. Sirius and Marlene were not talking to each, thus making it difficult for the two groups to sit together at meals. Lily and James managed to sneak moments together when they could, mostly late at night when everyone else was snug in their beds. Lily felt so blissfully happy, she knew it had to all come crashing down sometime soon. But she tried not to think in such a gloom-and-doom manner, instead trying to focus on just being in the here-and-now with James.

The dance was set for the Friday before the winter holiday. The castle was abustle with companies coming to set up microphones and camera equipment around the grand ballroom. A temporary stage was being built and the kitchen was a hectic mess as the cooks prepared a grand meal for the night.

The professors were having a hard time getting the students to focus on their studies. They were all far too busy wondering what band would be playing, what dresses would the girls be wearing, and who would be going with whom. But the biggest bit of gossip surrounded the host of Bandstand, who would be hosting the dance himself.

During lunch Thursday afternoon, Lily watched amusedly as Emmeline tried on various lipstick shades. "Should I go more coy with a nude, or more bold with a red? Or should I do a dusky pink for a more innocent look?"

"Innocent?" Dorcas snickered. "You haven't been innocent since you were fifteen."

Emmeline stuck out her tongue at the other girl. "Well, I _need_ to look my best for Gilderoy Lockhart!" Dorcas, Alice, and Emmeline all sighed dreamily at the name.

Lily giggled. "Please don't tell me you're all infatuated with that idiot!"

Emmeline gasped. "How dare you!"

Alice smirked. "I never said he was a genius, but you've gotta admit, he is rather handsome."

Lily shrugged. "I guess if you're into older men who think rather highly of themselves."

"Well he does have a reason to think so highly of himself. He's soooo handsome. Plus he's the host of one of the most popular television shows on air," Dorcas pointed out.

"True, but the dolt can never remember what he need to say. He has the teleprompter in front of him, but apparently he's illiterate since he still fumbles on his lines," Lily said.

There was an unexpected chuckle from Marlene. "That's what I said."

The other three girls stared at Marlene in shock, unable to believe the other girl had agreed with Lily on something. Lily simply nodded.

Marlene had been acting different around Lily lately, still guarded and unfriendly, but not as hostile as she'd been in the past. Lily wasn't sure if it had to do with her running after Marlene after the fight with Sirius, but she was glad to see Marlene was warming up to her.

She met up with James after lunch so the pair could walk to chemistry together. "Hope you've got your dancing shoes ready, because I'm a fantastic dancer," he bragged.

Lily smirked. "Yes, because your reenactment of Saturday Night Fever on skates was such a brilliant sight to behold."

"I was downright sexy and you know it," James winked, leaning closer to Lily so their noses almost touched.

"In your head maybe."

"I'll show you on Friday, and then you'll be regretting ever insulting my smooth moves."

"Somehow I doubt it."

They paused next to Lily's seat, James kissing her briefly then walking to his own seat. Lily bit back a smirk as she watched his lab partner frown jealously at the scene. She settled into her chair, pulling out her books and notes, and glancing at the board to read the assignment.

"Why are you with him?"

Lily jumped, a small yelp escaping her lips. "Jesus, Sev. You nearly gave me a heart attack." Lily placed on hand on her chest to feel her fluttering heart.

"Why are you with him?" Severus stared at her with piercing eyes.

Lily snorted. "Yes, thank you Sev. I had a nice week as well. And you?"

"Why are you with him?" Severus repeated for the third time.

Lily sighed, knowing they would get nowhere if this continued. "Because he makes me happy."

"He's not good enough for you, Lily."

"Severus, can we please not talk about my personal life? I'd rather just get started on the experiment."

Severus looked like he was going to push it, but something in Lily's expression must've stopped him. They started on their work in silence, both focusing on the correct measurements and their data. "Are you excited for the dance tomorrow?" Lily broke the silence.

"I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"Because school dances are juvenile and pathetic. They're just an excuse for horny teenagers to get drunk and gyrate their bodies against one another, but in fancy clothing."

Lily was taken aback by his response. Lily had never pictured Severus as the prom king type, but she had not been expecting such a hostile response. "You aren't even going to try to get on Bandstand?"

Severus gave her a patronizing look. "And lose valuable brain cells participating in a show run by Gilderoy Lockhart? I think not."

"Okay then."

More silence, this time with a pronounced tension in the air.

"I presume you're going?" Severus broke the tension.

Lily nodded. "I've never been to a school dance before."

That seemed to soften something in Severus's demeanor. "I'm sure you'll look beautiful in your dress."

Lily smiled. "I would've saved a dance for you."

His demeanor turned closed off again. "I doubt _Potter_ would allow it."

"James does not control what I do. He doesn't get to tell me who I can and cannot dance with."

Severus mumbled something unintelligible, looking like he did not believe her, and that was the end of their conversation for the rest of class.

It was announced at dinner that classes were cancelled for Friday, due to the fact that there would be far too many crews setting up in the school in preparation for the broadcast. All the students cheered at the idea of having a lay in, the girls particularly excited that they would receive extra time to get ready.

"It's perfect," Alice was saying as she and Lily walked up to the dormitory for the night. "It'll give me extra time to run into the village quickly to find a pair of shoes, then we can paint our nails, and shower and shave and whatnot. We'll be so stunning, Frank and James won't know what hit them. Hell, we'll be so gorgeous, Gilderoy won't be able to take his eyes off us the whole night."

"Excuse me?" Frank called from behind them, where he and James had been discussing their upcoming game against Durmstrang. "What's this about Lockhart?"

Alice turn around and grinned shamelessly at her boyfriend. "I'm going to look so stunning, he won't be able to keep his _hands_ off me."

Frank cocked an eyebrow. "He'd better, or he'll no longer have the looks he banks so much on."

James walked up to Lily, grabbing her hand and using it as an anchor to pull her closer. "I don't have to worry about that with Lily. She thinks Lockhardhead is barmy."

Lily chewed on her lip. "He does have rather dreamy eyes though. Blue _is_ my favorite color."

James bumped her hip with his. They paused in the hallway, neither ready to leave the other yet. "How's Sirius doing?" Lily asked as she leaned sideways against the wall.

James mimicked her stance, crossing his arms over his chest. "As well as expected. He's pissed as fuck, but that could also just be the alcohol speaking. He's always been a rather angry drunk."

Lily sighed sadly. "Marlene is using her usual hardass façade, but more so than usual. She comes and goes at random hours, and flat out refuses to discuss it with Dorcas or Emmeline."

James rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to retort but was cut off my a shout.

"PRONGS!"

James turned his head towards the boys' dormitory, and watched Sirius come barreling out. "Prongs, I need you! What is taking you so- Oh, hey Red."

"Hello Sirius," Lily replied politely. "Guess that's my cue. Promised Dor I'd help her put her hair in curlers tonight anyways." She stood on tiptoe ad kissed James briefly. "Meet at the bottom of the staircase?"

"I'll be the one in a penguin suit."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Goodnight Sirius, James."

…

James watched Lily walk into her dormitory and turned back to Sirius. "What's up?"

Sirius walked back towards their dorm, and disappeared inside. "I need you to tell me what looks better with my hair: the navy blue Armani, or the classic black Burberry?"

James rolled his eyes. "This is really what was so pressing?"

Sirius nodded. "I need a tuxedo that makes me look the most like James Bond," Sirius said as he slipped on the jacket to the navy blue Armani.

"Uh, if anyone is most like 007, it's me."

"Sure Prongs. You tell yourself that." Sirius buttoned the jacket and turned to James.

"It's hard to say. Might be easier to assess if you weren't standing in your boxers and actually had a shirt on."

Sirius glanced down at himself and shrugged. "Who am I kidding? I'll look amazing no matter what. I'll leave up to what mood I'm in tomorrow."

James eyed his friend with interest, a thought occurring to him. "You never told me who you were going with."

"Ah, she's smoking. Ten katrillion times hotter than McKinnon."

"Katrillion isn't a number, Padfoot," Remus stated as he walked out of the bathroom holding his toothbrush.

"That's not the point," Sirius retorted. "Point is, she'll make McKinnon look like the hag she really is."

James and Remus exchanged a glance but neither of them said anything. "Does she have a name?" James pressed.

"Uh," Sirius quickly looked away, turning back to his reflection. "I can't remember it."

James had a bad feeling about this. "Padfoot… what did you do?"

"Don't worry about it. You'll meet her tomorrow. Loo open? Good, this hair doesn't look this amazing without a deep conditioning."

James and Remus looked at each other again. "Why do I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a disaster?" James asked.

Remus frowned and rubbed his forehead, looking like an overtaxed father. "Because it's Padfoot and anything he touches ends up in ruins."

Friday passed relatively quickly for James and the Marauders. They had a lay in, then snuck into the kitchens to steal some breakfast. They ate out on the bleachers, despite the cold atmosphere, and played a game of football with Frank. When they couldn't put off getting ready any longer, they returned to their dorm. James, Remus, Peter, and Frank spent a good thirty minutes ignoring Sirius as he had a heated debate about what suit would make his hair look the shiniest. When he had finally settled on the Armani, the group made their way down the staircase to wait for their dates. Well, all except for Sirius who went to wait for his date in the parking lot.

"Who could it be?" Peter mused. "Clearly she doesn't attend Hogwarts."

James shrugged. His mind was far from thinking about Padfoot's date. He was too busy trying not to let his nerves show as he waited for Lily. He had no idea why he was so nervous all of a sudden, but his hands were shaking slightly as he hid them in his pockets.

"Here they are," Frank said, standing up straight from where he had been leaning against the bannister talking to Benjy Fenwick.

James looked up at the top of the staircase and felt butterflies take flight in his stomach.

…

"Fuck! Al, have you see my right heel?" Dorcas called as she got on hands and knees to search under her bed for her missing shoe.

"I think you left it in the bathroom," Alice called from across the room where she was applying a final coat of mascara.

"Found it!" Emmeline announced as she walked out of the bathroom, blowing on her nails where she had fixed her chipped polish.

"Em, can I steal some condoms?" Marlene called as she dug through her drawers looking for a rubber.

"Heads up!" The package went flying.

"Thanks!"

"Oh, Lil, a curl came loose. Lemme fix it," Alice fussed as she walked over to Lily.

Lily nodded, unable to speak. She was ridiculously nervous. She wanted to credit it to the fact that she was about to attend her first school dance, or the fact that she hated being the center of attention and was about to be filmed for live television, but she knew it really had to do with James. She didn't have any concrete reasons why she was so nervous, but she knew she was being irrational. Things were good between them; it wasn't like one dance could screw everything up… right? _I mean, what? He's gonna dump you because he doesn't like the way you look in your dress? You're being ridiculous Lily. Stop freaking yourself out!_

Alice fixed the loose hair and stepped away, grinning. "You look amazing."

"So do you," Lily grinned. And Alice truly did. She was wearing a curve-hugging mosaic lace gown that had a flirty semi-sheer cutout that defined her waist. It was both elegant and effortless, with a flounced hem that moved beautifully with each step. Her hair was shiny, complemented with a sparkly headband. Her makeup was simple, yet flirty, emphasizing her high cheekbones and soft lips.

Lily turned to look at each of the other girls in turn as well.

Dorcas was classic in a high-low navy blue dress. It was sleeveless with a cutout plunging neck. Her hair was curled and flowing freely down her back. Like Alice, she had kept her makeup simple, but she spiced things up with a sparkly pair of heels.

Emmeline had gone the sexier route. Her dress was a silver number comprised mostly of sequins. It had a column silhouette and a daringly low cowl-back. She wore her hair up in a fancy chignon, and wore chandelier earrings to complete the look. Her lips were painted deep burgundy.

Marlene had definitely pushed the boundaries with her dress. Lily could just picture the way McGonagall's eyes - and probably Sirius's as well - would pop out of her head when she saw the girl. She wore a two-piece set made up of a strappy, sweetheart neckline crop top, and a floor length skirt in a deep wine color. The back of the top was cutout and the skirt had a high slit that showed off Marlene's toned legs wonderfully. Her hair was tousled and wavy, like she had just stepped from the sea, and her eyes were piercing as they stared at you from behind a smoky eye. Her lips were painted their usual red, and she wore a pair of gladiator style heels that climbed up her calves.

Lily sighed as she examined her roommates. They were all so gorgeous, each dressed to emphasize her looks and in her own unique style, that Lily almost felt self-conscious when she looked at herself in the mirror. She wore an A-line dress that stopped just above her ankles. It was white with lace appliqués. It was slightly v-neck in the front, but Lily's favorite part was the deep v-neck in the back that ended with a big bow and row of buttons. Her hair was done in a messy side braid, pieces of hair curled to frame her face, and her make-up had been done to play up her eyes.

She turned to look at herself from another angle, trying to picture what James's reaction would be.

…

James's mouth felt dry. He wasn't sure if he was gaping or not, all he was aware of was Lily and how amazing she looked. His eyes briefly swept over the other girls, pausing for a moment on Marlene and feeling a sympathetic for Sirius, but ultimately his sole focus was Lily. Luckily, he had regained his wits and power of speech as she came to stand in front of him, standing on the bottom step so their faces were level.

"Hi there," she said softly, blushing slightly as he looked her up and down, his gaze lingering on the way her dress emphasized her tiny waist and revealed her delicious looking collarbone.

"My lady," he replied, bowing low and extending his arm. She giggled, the sound traveling down his spine and making him shiver.

"Don't you look rather dapper," she said, placing her hand in the crook of his elbow. "Like James Bond."

"Dammit. Where's Padfoot when you need him?"

Lily gave him a confused look, but he just kissed her cheek instead of explaining. Leaning in close to her, he caught of whiff of her perfume, and his mouth watered as the scent of roses and vanilla overwhelmed his senses. "You're perfect," he whispered in her ear, loving the way her eyes sparkled even more and her whole body seemed to flush when he pulled away.

"You're not so bad yourself," she said softly back.

They followed Alice and Frank to the main doors to the ballroom, where Filch was standing wearing a moth-eaten suit, and taking tickets. Lily stepped in front of him, digging in a small purse for their tickets. James felt his whole body shudder as he got a glimpse at the low v-neck of the back of her dress. There was so much soft, smooth skin exposed to him, he did not know what to do with himself. It should not have overwhelmed him as much as it did, considering he had seen Lily in a bathing suit before, but something about this small sneak peak made him want to drag her into a private corner for some alone time.

He moved next to her again, this time wrapping his arm around her waist, and keeping Lily close to his side. They walked through the doors and into the ballroom, and even James had to admit that the staff of Hogwarts had outdone themselves. He didn't pay much attention to the decoration though, far too busy watching Lily's reaction to everything.

She looked like a child visiting Disney World for the first time, her eyes wide as she tried to take in as much detail as she could in a single moment. She glanced over at him and smiled shyly before returning to her perusal. James turned back to the room again, taking in all the camera equipment set up around the dance floor. Dumbledore had somehow managed to get the Weird Sisters to play for the night, and they had already started their set, with groups of students rocking out on the dance floor.

James spotted their friend group snatching a table on the left side of the floor, and guided Lily over to them. As soon as they reached the table, Lily was snatched up by a beaming Alice, and dragged towards the dance floor. She paused, tossing her bag back at James, and then chased after Alice. The two girls started dancing, soon joined by Benjy and Mary MacDonald. James and Frank exchanged a glance, watching their dates dance. Dorcas was dragging a reluctant Remus onto the dance floor, while Peter trailed after Emmeline, who was walking around the room likely in search of Gilderoy.

James couldn't keep his eyes off of Lily, the way she was smiling and dancing and laughing with Alice, so carefree and happy. He probably would have been content to do that for the rest of the night had he not spotted Amos watching her from the across the room. Diggory was supposed to be attending the dance with Mary, but James could see the hungry look in the other boy's eyes from where he stood. He nudged Frank, nodding towards the dance floor with a shrug. The two boys walked over to their dates, James snatching Lily's hand and spinning her into him. She gasped, breaking down into a mess of giggles as she realized it was him.

They danced for a long while, Remus, Dorcas, and Peter joining them so they were all dancing in one large circle. When James and Lily finally felt like taking a break, they made their way back to their table. James was too busy teasing Peter for his fancy dancing to notice her at first, but when he looked up he instantly froze.

…

Lily was laughing as she listened to James tease Peter. She was having the best time. She snuck another peak at the grand ballroom, and was once again blown away by how amazing everything looked. She had only seen the large room once before, when Alice had been showing her around the first day. It had been a large, empty, cold looking room, but now it was anything but.

The chandeliers had been let down from the ceiling and there were actual candles lit in the holders, casting the room in a romantic, buttery color. Everything else was done to make the room look like a winter wonderland, with blue and white accents everywhere. The band was amazing and Lily had never wanted to stop dancing. Her feet were already aching in her heels, but she was far too happy to care.

She focused back on James, and noticed he had stopped where he stood. "James?" she asked concernedly, but he did not appear to have heard her, his eyes only staring at something in front of them. Lily turned her head to see what he was staring at.

At their table sat Sirius with a girl Lily had never seen before. Upon spotting James and the rest of the group, Sirius stood up, pulling his date with him. Lily eyed up the girl; she was wearing a tight fitting black dress with a sweetheart neckline and choker around her throat. When she turned to whisper something in Sirius's ear, Lily saw the choker was attached to the back of her dress, which also had a slit up the leg to rival Marlene's. While the girl definitely was not as beautiful as Marlene, she had sharp features that made her interesting to look at. Her cheekbones were dangerously high, and she had dark eyes that gleamed with pride and cunning. She didn't appear to have done anything with her hair, though Lily doubted the girl could have even if she wanted to, as it was a mass of unruly curls that cascaded around her shoulders and framed her face nicely. Lily noticed the moment the girl's eyes landed on James, the possessive smirk that appeared making Lily shift unconsciously closer to James. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her tight to his body, though the action also appeared to have been unconsciously done.

"Prongs, I want you to meet-"

"Bellatrix," James said, his voice filled with wariness.

"Hiya James," Bellatrix responded. She had a deep, kind of scratchy voice, and Lily most definitely did not like the seductive way Bellatrix said James's name. "How ya doin' baby?"

"You know each other?" Sirius asked, looking back and forth between James and his date.

Alice snorted, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at Bellatrix. "Who hasn't heard of her?"

Bellatrix's smirk grew significantly larger. "Don't worry, baby," she said patronizingly, patting Sirius's chest. "I'm just known for being the best dancer at Beaubaxton's."

There was a snort. "Yeah, with the worst reputation," Dorcas muttered under her breath, watching Bellatrix cautiously. The other girl merely flipped her curls over her shoulder.

"Well, James knows me rather-"

Bellatrix was cut off before Lily could find out just _how_ James and Bellatrix knew each other. "What the fuck?" Sirius cried. "What is _he_ doing here?"

Everyone turned to see where Sirius was glaring, and spotted Marlene walking in with her date, a rather large and imposing male who looked more like a grown man than a teenager. He had a look to him that just screamed danger, and Lily felt warning bells going off in her head instantly. James's hand tightened on her hip, and she found herself trying to press closer to him, not that they could get much closer.

"You knew he was coming Padfoot," Remus spoke up, his voice colder than Lily had ever heard it before. "It's not like we didn't have ample warning."

"But this is _our_ turf," Sirius persisted stubbornly.

Marlene glanced in the direction of their group and smiled maliciously, until her eyes landed on Bellatrix. _Why does everyone seem to hate this girl so much?_ "Bella," she sneered, her fingers curling tightly around Rodolphus's arm.

"McKinnon," Bellatrix spat back with an equal amount of animosity. All the while Sirius and Rodolphus appeared to be having a stare down. The tension was so thick, Lily was surprised she could actually take a breath.

"C'mon, Lil," James muttered, dragging Lily back towards the dance floor. "It's a slow song."

Lily glanced back over her shoulder as she was pulled away from the group, and saw Bellatrix watching their retreating figures with a look on her face like a woman just issued a challenge.

…

James could practically feel Lily's questions as they appeared in her brain. He winced internally, having no clue how he would explain this one. He was about ready to strangle Sirius, if only for being so stupid as to bring Bellatrix as a date to a dance.

He dragged Lily to the far side of the dance floor, as far from the group as he could possibly drag her. Once they had reached a secluded section, he wrapped his arms around Lily and pulled her in close. He bent his head and buried his face in her neck, breathing in her perfume and allowing it to cloud his mind as it had earlier. She was so tense in his hold and he knew he had to say something, but he did not want to.

"James," she said softly in his ear as they swayed. "James, why did everyone seem so tense with Bellatrix?"

James couldn't look her in the eye yet, though he pulled away from her neck, instead resting his chin on the top of her head. "Because Bellatrix is a spoiled, selfish bitch with a terrible reputation."

Lily was silent for a moment, but he knew she wasn't finished. "What did she mean? That you know her?"

James sighed, pressing Lily even closer, and running his hands over the smooth skin covering her spine. He had a feeling Lily would not let him hold her after her told her who Bellatrix was, so he kept his response vague. "Someone Marlene and I met a long time ago."

Surprisingly, Lily didn't ask anything further. James was tempted to pull back and look at her face, but foolishly he did not. If he did, he had a feeling he would see a look of understanding and revulsion. Understanding because Lily was a smart girl, who would be able to put two and two together quickly enough, and revulsion because this realization would mean she would never look at him the same again.

"Lily, I- I just… you… I mean," he sighed harshly, frustrated that he couldn't seem to speak anymore. "You're just so beautiful, and I- I love being with you. Please don't leave again."

She pulled back, looking him dead in the eye. "Promise me you won't give me a reason to."

James swallowed the guilty lump in his throat. "I promise."

An hour and a half into the dance, Gilderoy Lockhart came out. It was like being at a concert with the volume of the screaming females - and a few blokes - that rushed the stage as he walked out, smiling his blindingly white smile, and wearing an equally blinding white suit. James and Lily were back at their table, James and the guys sharing a look of exasperation as their dates rushed the stage along with Benjy. Only Lily remained seated and when he turned back to her, he saw she was gnawing on her lip. He reached over and squeezed her hand.

"What's wrong?" he asked, fearing she was upset about Bellatrix.

"I'm nervous," she whispered, and James remembered her confession on their date about not liking being the center of attention.

"Hey." He took hold of chin and turned her face to his. He leaned his forehead against hers. "We don't have to be on camera if you don't want to; it makes no difference to me. But if you get nervous, just look at me, and pretend it's just you and me, no one else. Okay?"

She considered his words and nodded hesitatingly. He smiled softly, and leaned forward, kissing the corner of her mouth. "It'll be okay Lil. Just think, you can't be a worse dancer than Remus," he said loudly, earning laughs from Frank and Peter, and a scowl from Remus. Neither Marlene and Rodolphus, nor Sirius and Bellatrix had been seen in awhile.

An echo bounced off the walls, calling the attention of everyone to the stage at the front of the room. Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Gilderoy were all standing up there. There was still a great amount of squealing and screams from the groupies surrounding the stage trying to get at Gilderoy. Peter stood up on his chair, and called out, "Dumbledore! Looking good!" and across the room, Sirius cupped his hands around his mouth, crying, "Mickey G! We love you!"

"If you're finished," McGonagall said tersely, shooting Sirius a dirty look, while Dumbledore saluted Peter. It took another few minutes to get the group of screaming fans to quiet down, but once they did, McGonagall began to lay down the rules. "You will all be happy to know that I will not be judging the dance contest."

Another round of cheers. "In a few minutes, the entire nation will be watching Hogwarts," she announced, with a mumbled, "God help us." She continued, "And I want you all to be on your best behavior."

"Awww, dammit!" A male voice cried, earning a frown from McGongall and sniggers from all the students.

"And now here he is, the host of Bandstand, Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart," she said with flourish in Gilderoy's direction. The screaming resumed.

James chuckled, turning to Peter. "Looks like Em's moved on." He said, gesturing to where Emmeline was standing on the stage, pressed up against Gilderoy's side. McGonagall was trying to pull her away, but Emmeline was refusing to budge, smiling broadly at the cameras.

"Hey kids!" Gilderoy called into his mic. "It's great to be here at Hogwarts!" He gestured to the gym around him, before turning to McGonagall who was still at Emmeline's side. "What's your name, sweetheart?" McGonagall pulled away from him with a disgusted and offended look that had James and the Marauders practically pissing their pants.

Dumbledore stepped forward, taking the mic from Gilderoy. "And now, for the rules," he said. His was voice calm and the words were spoken at a normal volume, but the way the whole gym fell silent made it seem like he had shouted the words. James found himself sitting up straighter in his chair. Dumbledore didn't appear often in the halls of Hogwarts, but he had a presence that absolutely commanded respect. James looked up to the older man, respecting his kind yet serious demeanor, and wise words, though James also respected the way the man never took anything too seriously, always speaking with a twinkle in his eye and a smile underneath his beard.

"Rule number one: Do not crowd the cameras. The cameramen will follow you if you so desire. Stay away from the equipment, as it is expensive and easily breakable. Rule number two: If at any point during the dance contest, you are tapped on the shoulder by Mr. Lockhart, you will be eliminated and must evacuate the dance floor."

He passed the microphone to McGonagall for the final rule. "And rule three: Anyone doing vulgar or tasteless moves will be disqualified." She seemed to be zooming in on the Marauders' table in the back of the room.

"That leaves us out," James heard Marlene say, earning snickers from the people around her.

A man with a clipboard came up behind the professors, whispering something to Dumbledore. McGonagall passed the microphone back to Gilderoy and the two professors left the stage. "We've got twenty seconds before we're live, so imma make this quick. And now you gals and guys just some words to the wise," Gilderoy spoke in the rapid fire way he was known for. "If you wanna look your best for the big contest, just be yourselves and have a ball. That's what it's about after all. So, forget about the camera and think about the beat; we'll give the folks at home a real big treat. Don't worry about the camera, just keep on dancing; that's your biz. And if I tap your side, just must aside and let the others glide." Clipboard man came back, announcing ten second left. James and his friends all got up from the table, Frank and Remus heading for their dates, while James and Lily moved to the center of the dance floor.

"You got this, Lil. Just remember, look at me," James whispered.

A woman ran up to Gilderoy, quickly powdering his nose as the Weird Sisters began to start up again. The students all counted down from ten, and a camera was aimed in Gilderoy's face. He smiled winningly and spoke into the microphone, "Welcome to National Bandstand! I'm coming to you live from Hogwarts School. This is the event you've all been waiting for, the National Dance-Off! And away we go with the Weird Sisters!" He gestured to the band and quickly moved out of the way. The students all sprinted for the dance floor and started moving.

* * *

Marlene was feeling vindictive. _What the hell is Sirius doing with_ her _?_ She felt betrayed and hurt, though she tried to overshadow these feelings with anger. Still, a part of her could not believe Sirius would do this to her. _Didn't you betray him first?_

She shook off her thoughts, focusing only on the way Rodolphus was grinding up against her. _God, he's such a fucking oaf._ She didn't even particularly like Rodolphus; she had only asked him to be her date because she knew it would piss Sirius and James off. But while her plan was working well with Sirius, who was dancing with Bellatrix but kept shooting nasty looks in her direction, James didn't seem to care. He only had eyes for Lily.

She easily found them in the crowd of dancers. They were standing a bit apart, James holding Lily close and leaning his forehead against hers. He appeared to be saying something to her, and Marlene could see Lily nodding along. She was struck with a sudden memory, from when she had crashed James and Lily's date. Lily was camera shy. Marlene felt a malicious smirk grace her lips.

A part of her was hesitating, knowing she had been bullying Lily for far too long. In fact, and though Marlene would never admit it out loud, Marlene had started taking a liking to Lily lately. The girl was sharp, and took no one's crap. She really wasn't as goody-two-shoes as Marlene had originally pegged her to be. Plus, she had run after Marlene to see if she was okay, something neither Dorcas nor Emmeline had done. If it weren't for the fact that she was seeing James, Marlene would probably consider Lily if not a friend, at least a member of the group. But she was dating James, and Marlene could not overlook that.

Rodolphus pressed his hips instantly against Marlene's backside, grinding into her. She sighed, feeling like she was being rammed by an uncoordinated bull. She started to move, a plan hatching in her mind. Rodolphus mindlessly followed her, too wrapped up in his head and movements. They gradually made their way over to the nearest cameraman, and Marlene reached into her bra, where she had tucked some cash earlier. She approached the man, a middle aged balding bloke with a goatee. She pressed the money against his chest.

"See that couple over there," she pointed to where James and Lily had started dancing. The man nodded. "Make sure they get on camera." The man gave her a look, and she gestured for him to look at the cash. His eyes widened as he saw the amount and he nodded.

Marlene turned away, feeling satisfied.

* * *

Lily felt slightly overwhelmed as she watched students storm the cameras, ignoring Dumbledore's warning from earlier. She tried to focus on just James, reminding herself that this was just a warm up song. _Don't think too much about it. You're okay. You've got James._

The song ended, and everything seemed to pause. "Commercial!" A voice called, and a makeup crew rushed the stage to fix up Gilderoy.

"Ready?" James asked, squeezing Lily's hand. She nodded, trying to smile. James ducked his head and kissed her swiftly, and when he pulled away, she was able to genuinely smile.

_You've got this! Just focus on the moves._

"Ten seconds!"

The makeup crew disappeared and Gilderoy's smile was back. He gestured for Emmeline to come back to his side and she instantly complied, pressing herself up against him. She patted down her hair as she smiled into the camera. "Welcome back to National Bandstand, live from Hogwarts School! Now it's time for the event you've all been waiting for: The National Dance-Off! Some lucky guy or gal is going to be going home with some fantabulous prizes, but don't feel bad if I bop you out, 'cause it doesn't matter if you win or lose; it's what you do with those dancing shoes!" He glanced at Emmeline. "Hey, does everyone here know Emmeline?" Emmeline flushed and slapped Gilderoy's arm playfully. He grinned and turned back to the camera. "Okay cats! Throw your mittens 'round your kittens and AWAY WE GO!"

And the Weird Sisters started playing 'Hand Jive'. The students cheered and instant broke into the moves: First bending slightly at their waists and patting their hands on their thighs twice. They stood up straight, crossing their right hands over their left, and repeating the moves in the reverse . Then, they made their hands into fists, banging the right on top of the left, then switching. Right thumbs up over right shoulder, left thumbs up over left shoulder.

_"Before I was born, late one night, my papa said everything's alright_

_The doctor paid, my mama laid down, with her stomach bouncing all around_

_Cause the bebop stork was about to arrive_

_Mama gave birth to a hand-jive!"_

All the steps were repeated with the next verse, and Lily found herself laughing as she watched Peter and James dance around each other, getting more and more into the moves as the song progressed.

_"I could barely walk when I milked a cow, when I was three, I pushed a plow_

_While chopping wood, I moved my legs, and they saw me dancin' while I gathered eggs_

_The town folk clapped, I was only five_

_Outdanced 'em all, he was born to hand-jive!"_

People began to move to the sides of the dance floor as the the band continued to play. James pulled Lily off to the side, and they started clapping with everyone else. Lily let out a holler when Frank and Alice took to the dance floor. Things appeared to be going fine for them, until Frank picked Alice up and spun her around. Gilderoy came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. The couple started protesting, but they were quickly shooed off the dance floor.

_"Oh yeah, yeah, yeah - everybody!"_

The floor flooded with multiple couples, but Lily noticed that both Marlene and Rodolphus, and Sirius and Bellatrix were on the dance floor. Sirius and Bellatrix were pulling out some wild moves, looking like they were doing some fancy swing dance, while Marlene and Rodolphus were doing little more than grinding. Lily could see McGonagall start to move in, but before she got there, Sirius's wild moves caused him to back into Rodolphus. Instantly the two boys were in each other's faces. Professors flooded the floor, Slughorn and Hooch managing to get the boys off of each other. Marlene grabbed Rodolphus's jacket, and yanked him off the dance floor, while McGonagall got in Sirius's face, yelling, "Have you no decency Black?"

_"Born to hand-jive, baby, born to hand-jive, baby - yeah!"_

Dorcas dragged Remus out onto the dance floor, spinning around him. At first, he just shuffled awkwardly, but at Dorcas's insistence, he started to move more. He was still a pretty terrible dancer, but both Dorcas and Remus looked like they were having a ball, Remus spinning Dorcas around and dipping her. They were soon tapped on the shoulder, but they shrugged it off good naturally, walking off hand in hand.

Peter soon sprinted into the center of the dance floor, doing a backhandspring. Lily turned to James in amazement, but he just chuckled and shrugged. "You wouldn't think it, but Wormtail is very agile."

Peter started pulling out his Michael Jackson dance moves from the roller rink, doing the moonwalk off to the side when he was tapped on the shoulder.

_"How low can you go, how low can you go, how low can you go, how low can you go!"_

Suddenly, Lily felt herself being pulled out into the center of the dance circle. She resisted, staring at James with wide panicked eyes as her face started turning bright red. "Just look at me," he called, his voice barely heard over the music and riotous clapping and cheering, which seemed to increase with the appearance of James.

Lily took a breath, focusing only on James, and she followed his moves. She watched his face as she copied his moves and found herself quickly forgetting her nerves as she watched his smile. She followed him, the two of them falling into step easily. She even went along with James when he lifted her leg and flipped her over in a handstand type move. He ducked down and she kicked a leg over him, spinning around and back into his arms. She grinned hugely up at him as he moved her around the dance floor, the couple laughing and enjoying being in each other's arms. That was, until Lily found herself face to face with the camera.

…

James felt Lily freeze and instantly tense up. He reacted quickly, spinning her away from the camera and tilting her face up to him. "It's okay, Lil," he said insistently, trying to get her to calm down. "It's okay."

She was staring up at him with huge eyes, looking like a doe in headlights. He could feel her trembling in his arms, and he tried to pull her close, to bury her face in his chest, and talk her down enough that they could finish their dance. A part of him, and this part made him feel irreparably guilty, was irritated that Lily was acting the way she was. The rational part of him was yelling at this selfish side, saying that Lily could not help her irrational fears.

As he was having this internal debate, Lily pulled free from his grasp and started running for the sidelines. "Lily!" he called, ready to go after her. A hand on his chest prevented him.

He looked down and saw Bellatrix smirking up at him. "Where do you think you're going?"

James looked into the crowd, trying to spot Lily, but he couldn't find her. He looked back down at Bellatrix, feeling his selfish side start to take over. "C'mon James," Bellatrix cooed, clearly seeing that she was starting to win him over. "Let's show 'em how it's really done."

She grabbed his hand and yanked him back onto the dance floor, pressing herself up against him and starting to move. He stood there for a few seconds, still trying to find Lily, but as he did so, he started to notice all the people in the circle. His peers, cheering him on, and a cameraman, the machine pointed right at his face. And without realizing the mistake he was making, James began to dance.

* * *

Marlene ditched Rodolphus for a moment, making her way over to Lily, who was standing in the group of bystanders watching James and Bellatrix dance. She had this absolutely heart wrenching look on her face that made Marlene pause for a nano-second before continuing her mission.

"Sucks, doesn't it?" Marlene said as she got close to the redhead.

Lily whipped her head towards Marlene, her whole demeanor like a panicked doe seconds away from fleeing. Marlene reacted the way any predator would, and pounced. "He makes you feel like you're the only thing that matters to him, makes you-" She forced the words out of her mouth, needing to draw blood so someone else would know how it felt. "Makes you love him. But the second something new comes along…" She trailed off, ignoring the block in her throat from both her confession and watching the boy she loved dance with a girl she hated with every fiber of her being.

Marlene turned back to look at Lily, needing to see the pain she had caused. Lily's whole body was visibly trembling, her whole body seeming to become even more diminutive than it already was. Lily bit her lip, her hands turning to fists at her sides, her eyes filled with tears. Marlene actually felt her heart break as a single tear rolled down Lily's face. Lily turned to look at Marlene, something passing between the two, before she turned and walked slowly from the ballroom.

For the first time in a long time, Marlene actually allowed herself to feel something that wasn't anger. Marlene felt guilty. It was her fault Lily looked like she had just had her heart ripped out of her chest. _How could you do that to someone? You know how it feels!_ Marlene was tempted to run after the redhead, but she stayed rooted. What she had seen in those almond shaped emerald green eyes was something Marlene knew she would not forget for a long time. _This might be one of the worst things you've ever done._

She was still standing there, staring at where Lily had walked out the doors, when she felt arms wrap around her waist. She nearly groaned out loud. She had totally forgotten about Rodolphus. "Let's get out of here," he said low in her ear.

Marlene nodded. She could really use a drink. "Let's get smashed."

He bit her earlobe, saying in what he probably thought was a seductive tone, "Let's fuck."

Marlene turned around to face him, ducking his kiss. "Let's not."

Rodolphus ignored her, trying to kiss her again. "Stop," she said in an irritated tone, pushing his face away.

He instantly turned hostile. "You fucking little tease! You really think I'd come to your fucking stupid dance and not leave with what I want?"

Marlene crossed her arms over her chest. She could feel her heart beat pick up as fear began to stir low in her stomach, but she stood her ground. "Yes. Because I said no. I'm not having sex with you, Lestrange, and that's final."

She held her breath, afraid of what he might do. His whole face turned bright red, his hands were at fists at his side, and he loomed over her intimidatingly.

"Mar? You alright?"

Marlene looked past Rodolphus's shoulder to see Sirius watching the pair with hostile, yet concerned eyes. Marlene turned back to Rodolphus. "Yeah. Lestrange was just leaving." Her tone was final.

Rodolphus's nostrils flared and his eyes lit up dangerously, but he backed away. With a threatening, "You better watch your fucking back, Black, and you too, you little bitch," he stormed from the hall.

Marlene let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. _I really need a drink._

"You alright?" Sirius repeated, calling her attention back to him.

Marlene nodded. Sirius's concerned look faded to a scowl. "What the fuck were you thinking, Mar? Bringing a Death Eater here? Huh?"

Marlene's walls instantly went up. "Oh fuck off, Black." She spun on her heel and stalked from the hall. She whipped out her phone, shooting a text to Emmeline. It took ten minutes, but the blonde finally walked out of the hall. Marlene linked her arm with Emmeline's. "Let's go get smashed."

Emmeline groaned in agreement. "Oh my god, yes! I need to get the image of Gilderoy Lockhart's old, wrinkly face out of my brain forever! All that pancake makeup: totally necessary!"

Marlene laughed, and the two girls walked out the doors, Marlene pretending everything was okay.

* * *

James refused to focus on anything else, just the music and the way his body moved. He tried to ignore the way Bellatrix pressed up against him, trying to grind against his body. He pulled away from her, spinning her out. He broke away from Bella, letting her do her own thing as he pretended to dance. He sprinted over to the group of students cheering him on, spotting Alice and Frank in the group.

"Where's Lily?"

"You're a dick!" Alice shouted back, looking furious. She grabbed Frank's hand and pulled him away from the circle. James felt sick to his stomach.

He felt a tug on the back of his shirt and spun around to see Bellatrix twirling around him. Once again he broke away from her when she tried to press up against him, doing his own thing. Thankfully, soon all the other students couldn't contain themselves any more and flooded the dance floor.

_"Higher, higher, higher and higher_

_Now can you hand-jive, baby, oh can you hand-jive, baby_

_Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, born to hand-jive, oh yeah!"_

Bend slightly at the waist and pat hands on thighs twice. Stand up straight, cross right hands over left, and repeat the moves in the reverse . Then make hands into fists, banging the right on top of the left, then switching. Right thumbs up over right shoulder, left thumbs up over left shoulder.

James followed his peers as the last notes of the music faded out, his mind not on the moves, but on Lily. The music stopped and the students all cheered and clapped; James even noticed McGonagall watching him with an impressed look.

Gilderoy walked over, sans Emmeline, and grabbed one of James's arms and one of Bellatrix's, raising them in the air. "Looks like we've got our champs! Congratulations, you're our lucky winners!"

_Yup. Lucky. That's how I feel._

James scanned the mass of students again and spotted Remus and Dorcas nearest him. Remus was frowning deeply, and Dorcas was biting her lip. "Where's Lily?" he asked Dorcas.

Dorcas shook her head. "I'm not going to tell you, James."

"I _need_ to find her Dor."

Dorcas continued to shake her head. "Leave her alone James."

"I think you've done enough, Prongs," Remus hissed, looking furious.

James swallowed hard and turned back to where Gilderoy was presenting Bellatrix with a gaudy trophy. Bellatrix held it up in the air in triumph, smirking arrogantly. "It's time to slow things down with a moonlit dance," Gilderoy said to the camera with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. The lights in the room dimmed and a slow song started up. Bellatrix turned to James expectantly, but he turned on his heel and walked off the dance floor.

He found Sirius waiting for him at their table. James felt another round of guilt as he remembered that Bellatrix had been Sirius's date. "Padfoot…"

Sirius shook his head, slapping James on the back and looking sympathetic. "You fucked up Prongs. You fucked up big time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note
> 
> Okay, okay, so I'm sure you all hate me now, but it had to be done! I'm sorry!
> 
> Also, for anyone made super uncomfortable having Sirius go to the dance with Bellatrix, trust me, I get it. I was super uncomfortable writing it and debated changing her for Narcisssa before I remembered she's also Sirius's cousin. Damn inbreeding! But it also had to be Bellatrix because Rodolphus was Marlene's date. Once again, apologies to anyone who was uncomfortable with it.
> 
> As for the dance scene, I used the Hand Jive scene from Grease Live! as my reference, especially for James and Lily's dance. It is really freaking hard to write a dance scene when you don't know how to describe the moves the characters are doing, so I figured you guys could just look up the video on YouTube and pretend for yourselves.
> 
> And just a reminder of who the couple pairings are if you do decide to the watch the video:
> 
> Remus & Dorcas = Putzie & Jan
> 
> Marlene & Rodolphus = Rizzo & Craterface
> 
> Sirius & Bellatrix = Kenickie & Cha-Cha
> 
> Frank & Alice = Doody & Frenchie
> 
> Emmeline & Gilderoy = Marty & Vince Fontaine
> 
> Peter = Sonny
> 
> and obvi James & Lily = Sandy & Danny
> 
> And on a final note, I've been pretty inspired lately and have actually gotten a decent amount of chapters done, so I might be able to manage weekly updates. I would post a new chapter on Fridays, so just a heads up. Thanks for reading guys and I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> xoxo Evie


	8. Chapter VII: Hopelessly Devoted to You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.
> 
> A/N: I just wanted to point out that in the previous chapter, neither Marlene nor Sirius hooked up with Rodolphus or Bellatrix. They just used them to make the other jealous. As for James and Bellatrix, I'll leave it up to you guys to decide what happened there.

VII. Hopelessly Devoted to You

_"My head is saying fool forget him_

_My heart is saying don't let go_

_Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do_

_I'm hopelessly devoted to you"_

James sat at his kitchen table, staring dejectedly at the bowl of cereal in front of him. He picked up his spoon, swirling it through the contents, and sighed heavily. Normally, he loved Lucky Charms. Sure, it was a cereal for children, but it was a cereal with _fucking marshmallows_ in it! What could possibly be better?

_Not being a douche bag and breaking Lily's heart… again._

James sighed again. He'd been home for two days. Christmastime was one of the few times James actually enjoyed being at the manor. The servants, under his mother's guidance, always decorated the house so beautifully, with garlands hanging from the grand staircase bannisters, wreaths adorning every window, and poinsettias in the entryway. His mother also liked to hang mistletoe above the archway into the kitchen, especially since it caused the staff to panic whenever they walked through the archway.

_And to think you could be kissing Lily in that archway… that is, if you hadn't fucked things up._

James sighed for a third time. He wondered what Lily was doing. He'd tried to catch sight of her the day after the dance, but when he had knocked on the dormitory door, Alice had given him a major dressing down. Dorcas, and Emmeline had joined up together to act as bouncers, preventing his entry should he try to force his way past Alice. Even Marlene joined in on the defense of Lily, staring James down when he tried to talk to Lily in the dining hall at breakfast.

James didn't think he had ever felt worse in his life than he did currently. Lily had trusted him, she had told him she would be with him if he didn't hurt her again. And what did he do? He let himself get seduced by a fake, plastic trophy, the cheers of his peers, and the allure of being on television. The one moment when Lily had trusted him and needed him, he'd abandoned her. The amount of self-loathing James felt was enough to make Eeyore seem jolly.

_Her eyes were so green, her cheeks flushed a flattering pink, and he felt so filled up with joy. He kept his arms around her even as her smile faded and she gave him a stern look."But this is your last chance. I will not give you a third one. So don't fuck up again. Yeah?"_

James sig-

"Prongs, I swear to fucking god, if you sigh one more time, I _will_ kill you!"

James looked at Sirius in surprise. He hadn't even noticed his best mate's entrance. Sirius was glaring at James in irritation, a large cup of black coffee and a freshly baked pain au chocolat in front of him.

James nearly sighed again as he turned back to his cereal, but he caught himself in time. "Sorry Padfoot. Didn't hear you come in."

"I figured," Sirius muttered, turning back to his breakfast.

"I'm just-"

"Thinking 'bout Lily. I know."

Another sigh escaped James's lips as he pushed his breakfast away.

"Don't beat yourself up over this, Prongs," Sirius said.

James's head shot up and he stared at his mate in disbelief. "You did _not_ just say that."

Sirius shrugged. "You can either sit here and bitch about it to me, or you could be doing everything in your power to get her back."

"I did try."

"No, you didn't. You tried, rather half-arsedly if you ask me, to talk to Lily for a few hours before you left Hogwarts. Now you're sitting there, and not doing anything except puffing out more air than Lucy's exhaust pipes."

"What am I supposed to do, Padfoot? Show up at her house?"

If that's what it takes. If you really want her that badly."

James yanked at his hair irritatedly. "Well, she lives in fucking France now, so it's not like I can just hop in the car and drive there."

"That's why there's the Channel Tunnel. Or better yet, why not just take the jet?"

"Dad's using it for his trip to Hong Kong."

"Oh."

James carried his bowl to the sink. "Not like I've got her address anyways."

"But you do have her number," Sirius pointed out.

"I have a feeling she's blocked me."

"God, Prongs! These are all just excuses! If you really, actually want Lily back, stop making shit up, grow a pair, and go fucking fight for her!"

James knew what Sirius was saying was true, but he was not ready to admit it to himself. Instead, he felt himself get defensive. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I don't see you fighting for Marlene."

"Well… that's different."

"How so?"

"Because I'm not in love with Marlene, Prongs."

That made James pause. Sometimes he forgot how observant Sirius could be. "Well… that's not relevant. What _is_ relevant is that you like her, and Mar likes you, and-"

"Marlene likes me?" Sirius cut James off, looking equal halves disbelieving and hopeful.

James nodded. "That's why she pushed you away. You got too close to her, she developed feelings, and she ran."

"How does that make any sense?" Sirius frowned down at his empty plate.

"Because the few times Marlene has opened her heart, she's been let down," James replied, guilt for his past with Marlene now mixing with the guilt he was already carrying around.

Sirius seemed to know what James was referring to without having to ask.

Both boys sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts, thinking about the girls they'd lost. Sirius snorted, breaking the moment. "Listen to us. We're like old crones, bemoaning our love lives."

"Don't you like sharing your feelings, Pads?" James teased.

Sirius shuddered. "Hell no! I need to do something stereotypically masculine now, like cutting down a tree or lifting something heavy."

James laughed and rose from his seat. "We could go snowboarding."

Sirius looked pointedly out the window. "Oh yes," he said sarcastically. "because there's just so much snow on the ground."

"Padfoot, you'd think you'd know by now," James clucked his tongue. "Potters have the ability to make anything happen. Meaning, I can make it snow."

"Meaning you've got a snow machine."

"I've got a snow machine."

* * *

Lily stared out her window at the Parisian skyline. She'd been in absolute awe when her father had picked her up from the train station and brought her to a flat in the 8th arrondissement. It was not a large amount of space, only two bedrooms and one bathroom, but Lily thought it was perfect for what her family needed. Plus, the view was spectacular, overlooking the Seine.

The windows were covered in frost, allowing Lily to draw little pictures on the glass. First, she drew a male stick figure with a female stick figure. They were holding hands and smiling. She quickly scrubbed out that picture, and drew another. This time she drew two female stick figures, and had the male stick figure walking away from one of the females, who was frowning, while the other female was smirking.

Lily sighed, her chest feeling heavy, like she was Giles Corey getting tons of rocks placed on her chest to eventually squish her to death. She'd been in a melancholy state since she had come to the new flat two days ago. Her father had noticed his daughter's sad state, yet had not remarked on it. Lily could tell he wanted to do something to make her smile, but he was so busy with work, he was hardly home. Petunia could not have cared less about how her sister was feeling, far too caught up in missing her boyfriend. Lily thought she would puke if she had to listen to Petunia argue with Vernon one more time about who was going to hang up first.

_Don't be mean. They're in love._

Lily felt a pang go through her body, and her eyes welled up. She stared up at the ceiling, trying to will them back into her eyes, but she felt a drop roll down her cheek.

Lily had never been so hurt before in her life. If she'd thought losing James the first time had hurt, this hurt ten thousand times more. She couldn't detect just what exactly it was that was so much more painful this time around. Maybe it was because he had promised her he wouldn't hurt her again. Maybe it was because every time he had kissed her or held her close, she'd been certain he would keep his word. Maybe it was because he'd told her all about his past, confessed a secret that he trusted her to keep. Lily thought it was probably all those things.

Mainly, she thought it was because he'd made her love him.

She jumped at the sound of the front door rattling as someone struggled to put their key in the keyhole. She hastily wiped away the tears and tried to put on a smile as her father walked into the flat. "Hey Dad."

"Oh, hello Flower! Man, it's chilly outside," her father smiled as he rubbed his gloved hands together before peeling off the fabric and his coat, and draping it on the back of a kitchen table chair.

"How was work?" Lily asked, standing up from the window seat. Her muscles ached and her knees cracked; she'd been sitting there for so long.

"Oh, same old, same old. Where's your sister?"

"Where do you think? In her room, facetiming Vernon." Lily rolled her eyes.

Her father grinned. "Yes, they do spend an awful amount of time making googly-eyes at each other through computer screens, don't they?"

Lily watched her father as he went into the kitchen, and opened up the fridge, pulling out the bottle of grapefruit juice and pouring himself a cup. "What did you do today, Flower?"

Lily held up her copy of _Vilette_. Her father nodded, a sad looking filling his dark green eyes. Lily had always been told she looked like her mother, but with her father's coloring. Truthfully, Lily did not think she looked much like either of her parents. She had her mother's round face, and diminutive height, and her father's green eyes, though his were much darker. Lily could sometimes see bits of her mother in her reflection, like when she smiled, or the way she chewed on the inside of her cheek when thinking hard. She was glad she didn't see the resemblance all the time though, because she knew it would just make her miss her mother even more.

"Dad…"

"Yes, Flower?"

Lily started fiddling with her sleeves, unsure how to continue. David Evans looked at his youngest daughter and smiled sadly. He had noticed his daughter's distractedness and melancholy for the past few days. He was curious what could have his usually optimistic daughter so down, but David was a firm believer in waiting for the person to come to you. He knew that if he tried to force Lily to tell him her problems, her stubborn pride would refuse to let her. Lily didn't like to appear weak, just like her mother.

"What is it, Lily?" He asked, walking over to the window seat and sitting down. Lily reoccupied her seat.

Lily sighed heavily, continuing to stare at her sleeves. Finally, she looked up, and met her father's piercing gaze. "How did you meet mum?"

David was slightly surprised at the question, not expecting it, but he probably should have. Lily loved this particular story. "Well, I was twenty years old, and I was working as a valet at a fancy restaurant, trying to pay for university. It was Easter Sunday, and your mum was having brunch with her family. This expensive car pulled up to the curb, and I opened the door, and helped the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen out of the car. All it took was one touch, and I just knew. Elly didn't notice me at first, just a distracted thank you, but your mum was never too graceful on her feet, and she tripped while walking up the stairs in these ridiculously high pair of heels. I caught her before she fell, and she looked up at me, and smiled, and I knew I was done for. She thanked me again, and disappeared into the restaurant. I thought that was that, that I would never see her again, but when her family was leaving, she walked right up to me, and said, "My name is Elliot Harrison, but you can call me Elly. I think you should take me out some time." I was a mess, unable to properly form words, and reply, but she just giggled and handed me a piece of paper with her phone number on it, and told me to call her. About a week went by before I finally got up the nerve to call. When she answered, the first thing she said was, "It's about damn time!" We went on that first date, and were engaged six months later."

Lily loved listening to her father talk about her mother. He got this distant, nostalgic look on his eye, and always smiled when describing her. "Did you guys ever fight?"

"Of course we did. Your mother and I were polar opposites. She was this outgoing, bubbly person, and I was more reserved and serious. We disagreed about everything, but we always managed to compromise, especially since we knew being together meant more than to us than some stupid issue we were arguing about."

"What about, like, a big betrayal?"

David's eyebrows scrunched up. "What do you mean? Like, did one of us cheat on the other?"

"No, not that… exactly. More… did one of you ever mess up big time, to the point that you considered breaking up? Something that betrayed one another's trust?"

David thought over his daughter's question, a sense of dawning realization coming over him. "Never anything major. There were times when our trust in each other was tested, but nothing to break up over."

Lily sighed heavily. She'd seen her parents together, and they had been so enamored with each, Lily had no doubt her father's words were true. _I thought James and I were the same way… obviously I was wrong._

"What's this about, Flower?"

Lily didn't really want to discuss her love life with her father, but Petunia was never going to help her, and Lily did not want to talk to anyone from Hogwarts; they were all too close to the situation to not be biased. Lily traced her fingers over the spine of _Vilette_ , unable to keep looking at her father as she continued. "Dad… do you remember James Potter? The boy I met over the summer?"

Understanding filled David up. He remembered the boy well, if only because he remembered the way the messy haired boy had lit Lily up. David grinned. "Of course. If I remembered correctly, he was a big fan of Manchester."

Lily's lips twitched, as she remembered James getting into a heated debate with her father over football standings, but the memory of James's impassioned expression was overshadowed instantly by his self-satisfied smirk when he was dancing with Bellatrix. "Yup. That's the one. As it turns out, he also attends Hogwarts."

David was confused by his daughter's tone. He'd have thought she would be ecstatic about this, as she had been so upset when they had left the beach over the summer. "And this is not a good thing?"

"I thought it was," Lily mumbled sarcastically.

David reached over and grabbed his daughter's hands, squeezing them. Lily looked up at him, and he felt his heart break as he looked into her shattered eyes. Instantly, his fatherly instincts flared up, and he felt a rush of anger burst through him, ready to murder the boy for whatever he'd done. "Did he… hurt you?"

Lily didn't respond, and David felt himself panic. "Did he… force you to do something you weren't okay with?"

Lily's eyes went wide. "NO! No, nothing like that. He just… wasn't who I thought he was. He wasn't the same person I met over the summer."

David forced himself to calm down. He needed to keep a straight head if he wanted to help his daughter in any way. "What do you mean?"

"He keeps… leading me on, and lying to me. He says one thing, but then his actions are totally contrary. And he's got this _awful_ ex-girlfriend who has made it her mission to make my life so much more stressful than it already is. It's like… I don't know… it's like he's ashamed of me, or something."

David shook his head. "That's not even slightly possible,' he said with absolute certainty. No one could possibly be ashamed of his daughter, and definitely not this boy. He'd seen how James had looked at Lily, and it hadn't been with anything short of love and total adoration.

"But then why does he keep treating me that way? He wasn't like this over the summer?" Lily's hands went to her hair, running her fingers through it, and yanking at the strands.

David watched his daughter pull at her hair, some new habit she'd formed, it seemed. "What exactly happened, Flower?"

So Lily told him: about the bonfire, about James begging for her forgiveness, about their date - though she left out just a few details- and finally, about the dance. "Why didn't you tell me you were on Bandstand? Your sister and I would've watched!"

Lily frowned. "Well, first, you know I hate being the center of attention, so you wouldn't have seen me on the camera anyways. Second, Tuney most definitely would not have watched, and third, _so_ not the point!"

David grinned sheepishly. "Sorry Flower." He paused to think over his daughter's tale. "Well, I can't exactly explain why James is acting the way he's acting, except to maybe say he's scared."

"Scared? Of what?" Lily snorted.

"Of commitment. Of falling in love. Of trusting someone fully."

Lily looked away from her father, back out the window. "He didn't seem so scared over the summer."

David reached out and squeezed his daughter's knee. "Now that's your issue in this relationship. You keep comparing him to how he's acted previously, but not thinking about how he's acting now."

"Yes I am. His actions show that he's really an arse, and I'm an idiot."

David shook his head, smiling sympathetically. Lily's brows furrowed, so he went on. "Remember when you were little, and I took you and your sister to the circus? You were so excited. You had this clear picture of how you expected everything to be, but when we got there, you were so disappointed because you'd made everything up so much in your head that the real thing fell short. That's what you're doing with James." He paused to let his words sink in, then went on. "You have this expectation for James based on what he showed you of himself over the summer. But Flower, you guys only spent about a month and a half together. That's not nearly enough time to truly get to know a person, the good and the bad. Half that time he was working, and the other half you were still upset over your mother. You guys only got to know each other on the surface, never anything with true depth."

Lily drew her knees to her chest as she processed her father's words. Was it true? Had she really been idolizing Summer James all this time? Never truly getting to know the James in front of her? She thought about their confessions on their date, James telling her about his past with Marlene and his family history, and how she'd been shocked to realize she had known next to nothing about him. Hell, she hadn't even known he went to Hogwarts until she saw him on the first day! _Fuck. Has our relationship really been this shallow this whole time?_

David could tell Lily was thinking hard about his words, and he smiled to himself, congratulating himself on his good parenting. He patted Lily's knee and stood up. "I feel like Chinese tonight. I'll go get the menu." He turned to look back at Lily, who nodded vaguely, and had a feeling she hadn't heard a word he'd said.

* * *

James didn't bother to pretend he was having a good time. He sat in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, and stared at his plate in front of him, at the huge cut of steak turning colder with each passing second. He ignored the girl next to him, some daughter of an associate of his father's. At first, he'd flirted with her, but the more he looked at her, and talked with her, the more he realized she was lacking something very important to him: she was not Lily. So he let Sirius do all the social interaction for the both of them.

Across from him, he could see his father getting into a heated debate with the one of the company chairs. James was told he looked just like his father when Fleamont had been young. James had inherited the same unruly black hair, the same strong jawline, and the same great height.

Next to his father sat his mother, who was talking to another associate of his father's. From his mother, James had inherited his brown skin, hazel eyes, and sense of humor. He watched Euphemia tell some elaborate story to the associate, gesturing wildly with her hands, the associate cracking up. She glanced over at her son, as if she felt his eyes on her, and winked at him. James tried to smile back, but knew he'd failed when he was the lines around his mother's eyes deepened in worry. James quickly turned away.

He glanced around at the restaurant they were sitting in. It was a ridiculously lavish place, and had been decorated for the holidays, with holly and wreaths everywhere, and a piano player playing Christmas tunes in the corner. _So this is how the Potter's spend Christmas? Representing the family name and making new alliances, as always_ , James thought bitterly. He found his mind wandering to Lily, as it was wont to do lately. He pictured her sitting around a Christmas tree, laughing and grinning as she passed presents around to her family. He could picture her father grinning as Lily opened up her gifts, while Petunia scowled in the corner - even in his fantasies, James could never image Petunia without a look on her face that made her seem constipated.

In a pathetically weak attempt to do as Sirius has suggested, and man up and fight for Lily back, James had shipped Lily her Christmas gift. He'd bought it weeks ago, when he was sneaking out of the castle with Sirius one night. He knew sending Lily a Christmas gift was not nearly enough to gain her forgiveness, but he hoped it would at least soften her up some before he saw her again.

He could still feel his mother watching him, so James put in a bit more of an effort to appear fine. He turned to talk to the son of some other important figure from his father's company, unable to force himself to talk to the associate's daughter because it made him feel too guilty. The night passed in an excruciatingly slow manner, but finally they were on dessert.

He stood up, excusing himself to use the loo, and slipped out the back door for a smoke. It was bitterly cold outside, but James let the cool air bite at his skin and whip his hair into a frenzy. He'd just lit up when the back door opened again, and out stepped his mother. Euphemia frowned when she saw her son was smoking. "You know I hate those things," she chastised.

James shrugged, taking another drag, and exhaling away from his mother. Though James not exactly close with either of his parents, he got along better with his mother. He stubbed out the cigarette and put it behind his ear, saving the rest for later. His mother sighed heavily, wrapping her arms around herself and huddling further into her mink coat. "What's wrong my darling?"

"Nothing, Mother," James replied, careful to keep his voice neutral. "Just the usual; bored at these ridiculous dinners Dad makes us attend."

Euphemia chuckled. "They aren't exactly the brightest or most original bunch, are they?" She stepped closer to her son, looking up at him slightly. Euphemia Potter was tall for a woman, though her son was still much taller. Even then, James always felt like he was eye to eye with her whenever they talked, Euphemia had such a powerful presence. "But that's not what is really bothering you."

James looked away, afraid his mother would read his self-loathing in his eyes. "What is it, Jamie? I hate seeing you look so sad." Euphemia stepped closer to her son, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him close. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around her as well, just enjoying being held by his mother for the first time in a while.

"Mum… I think I've made a terrible mistake."

"What do you mean?" Euphemia asked, her mind going to worse case scenarios, though she didn't show her panic outwardly.

James sighed, running a hand through his hair. Euphemia smirked, knowing her son only did that when he was anxious, or hiding something. "You know how I was lifeguarding over the summer?" She nodded. Though it wasn't as though James needed to work, she and Monty had always encouraged their son to work in the summer, not wanting him to turn out as the spoiled heir, as some of their friends' children had turned out. "Well… I met someone."

Euphemia's hazel eyes lit up excitedly. She knew her son was a rather… _promiscuous_ boy, but she had never discussed his love life with him before, nor had he ever offered her anything. The fact that James was discussing a girl with her made it clear that this girl was not just anyone. "Her name is Lily. Lily Isabelle Evans. She's seventeen, like me, and as it turns out, she goes to Hogwarts as well - just transferred this year, actually. And Mum, she's _gorgeous_ …" James's eyes were bright and his face had taken on this kind of amazed excitement as he described the girl, Lily, to his mother. Euphemia found herself grinning, desperate to get to know this girl and find out if she was truly as amazing as her son was making her out to be.

"Oh that's wonderful darling!" Euphemia clasped her hands together. "I'd love to meet her. You should invite her to the New Year's Eve ball!"

Horrified, Euphemia watched as her son's whole demeanor changed, morphing into one of absolute melancholy. He looked like Atlas, as if he was holding up the entire universe and in utter agony because of it. "I-I can't."

"Why not?"

James swallowed hard. He respected his mother, much more than he did his father, and hated disappointing her, as he knew he was about to. He had to look away from his mother, too ashamed to look her in the eye as he began to tell her everything: about hurting Lily the first time, about Lily giving him a second chance, and finally, about how he'd hurt her the second time. "See Mum, I'm just… I don't deserve her. I'm no good for her. I-I haven't been appreciating and treating her the way she deserves. And Lily deserves to be treated like a goddess. She's had such a hard time, with her mother being killed and her sister's estrangement. And now... me." James ducked his head, staring at the ground. He could just picture his mother's expression, one of complete disappointment and disgust. She was probably ashamed to call him her son.

Euphemia looked at her son and felt her heart break in two. She had to admit that she was very disappointed in James, but she could see from his body language that he was already beating himself up over this as it was, and any reprimanding she did on her part wouldn't make a difference. She put two fingers under his chin and tilted his face up so he was forced to meet her eyes. "So change it."

James's brows furrowed. "But how? I know Lily will never forgive me now, much less talk to me. How can I change things if she won't even look at me?"

"You don't know that for fact. She forgave you the first time, didn't she?"

James nodded slowly. "So, ask for her forgiveness, and keep asking until she forgives you again. And in the meantime, become someone you think is worthy of her."

"Whatever happened to never changing who you are for anyone?" James asked indignantly.

Euphemia shook her head. "I'm not saying change everything, but if you want to be with this girl, you need to make some adjustments. You need to get over whatever fears or anxieties you have about a relationship with Lily and just go for it. You need to fight for her."

"That's what Sirius said," James mumbled.

Euphemia smirked. "He's more than just a head of shiny hair."

James's lips twitched. "That he is."

She grabbed her son's hand and squeezed his cold fingers. "Just think about what I said, and when you do make up with her, remember, I want to meet this Lily."

James chuckled and nodded. "Sure Mum. Whatever you say."

* * *

Lily sat stiffly next to her father. This was not how she had pictured spending her Christmas eve, sitting across from Vernon and her father, and trying not to vomit as Petunia made sappy faces at Vernon. She felt someone bump her foot and instantly pulled her leg back. _Oh my god! I think they're playing footsie! I'm gonna be sick._

She glanced at her father, trying to gauge his reaction to the love birds, but he was staring intensely at his menu, eyes narrowed as he tried to read the fine print in the dim lighting.

It had come as a total surprise, Petunia coming home the other day and announcing that Vernon was coming to stay for Christmas. Luckily, Vernon was staying at a hotel, since there was not nearly enough room for the four of them in the Evans's flat - it was bad enough Lily and Petunia had to share a room, but imagine trying to fit Vernon as well - but Petunia had still thrown an absolute fit and put down her foot on celebrating Christmas in the usual Evans style: watching _Miracle on 34th Street_ (the original version, not the 1994 knockoff) and eating take-out. No, now they were celebrating Christmas at one of the most expensive restaurants in Paris, and though Lily enjoyed having an excuse to wear her new dress - a v-neck feminine lace fit-and-flare dress in shades of blue and white, with a sheer, floral hemline on the full, pleated skirt - she missed their usual tradition.

The waiter came over to take their order, and after listening to Vernon list that he was having practically everything on the menu, and Mr. Evans paling at this, knowing he'd be paying the bill, Petunia turned to her sister and father with an announcement. "Vernon and I are getting married!" she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling as she stared at Vernon adoringly.

Neither Lily, nor her father said anything. Lily simply couldn't believe it. She had thought Petunia had lost her mind the first she brought Vernon home to meet the family, but Lily had also assumed her sister would eventually move on to someone else. To hear that Petunia desired to spend the rest of her life with such an odious man was horrifying to Lily. But as the silence stretched on longer, and Petunia's smile began to fade, Lily took pity on her sister and spoke up first. "That's great, Tuney. Congratulations." She just hoped her voice didn't sound so fake.

Lily kicked her father under the table. "How come this is the first I'm hearing of this?" David asked, staring hard at Vernon next to him. "You never came to ask my permission."

"Oh Daddy," Petunia chided. "It's the 21st century. I'm no longer considered your property to give away whenever you feel like it." Lily was surprised to hear Petunia talk in such a way, especially since her sister had never shown any interest whenever Lily went on a feminism rant.

David's expression hardened. "I know that dear, but it's the thought and consideration that counts."

The table was still and silent, no one seeming to know what to say. Eventually, Vernon cleared his throat. "Well… it's all done now. Petunia agreed, and that's that. Now-"

"That's not that," David interrupted, looking angrier. "What if I don't approve of your marriage to my daughter?"

"Daddy!" Petunia cried, horrified. Even Lily was shocked. She was no fan of Vernon, but it was plainly clear that Petunia loved Vernon for some strange, unknown reason.

Vernon's expression darkened. "Well, it's not like you really get a say. It's Petunia's life; it's her choice."

Lily's eyebrows instantly shot up. "Uh, Vernon-" she started, but was cut off by Petunia.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me," she hissed under breath, even in her anger not wanting to cause a scene. "Don't you want me to be happy?" Petunia glared at her father, puckering her lips in a pout.

David sighed. "Of course, dear, but are you sure about this?" He made no attempt to hide his dislike for Vernon.

Petunia's face was bright red as she tried to contain herself. Lily reached out for her sister. "Tuney-"

Petunia smacked Lily's hand away, turning to her in a fury. "Don't you touch me, you murderer! If Mum were alive, she'd give us her blessing, but she's not and it's _your_ fault."

"Petunia!" David yelled in outrage.

Petunia pushed back from her chair, standing tall. "Come on, Vernon. Let's go back to the hotel." Vernon stood up from his chair, following Petunia's lead. "Don't expect me home tonight," she growled at their father before storming dramatically from the restaurant, Vernon waddling after her.

Neither Lily, nor her father said anything, just sitting in stunned silence. The waiter came back with the first dishes, but paused when he saw two empty chairs. David sighed, turning to the man. "Cancel the rest of our order. I'll pay for whatever has already been prepared."

The waiter walked away with an offended look, returning minutes later with the check. David paid, and he and Lily rose from their seats. They exited the restaurant and stood in the cold for a few minutes, Lily allowing her father some time with his thoughts. "I'm sorry Flower," he said at last.

"It's okay Dad." She looped her arm through his. "Why don't we walk for a bit?"

David nodded and they started walking. It was lightly snowing, just a few flurries, but Lily was enchanted anyways. She had always loved snow, loved the silence that seemed to accompany it, and how it made the Earth seem so peaceful. She thought some peacefulness was exactly what her father needed right now.

They walked along the streets, no specific destination in mind. They passed an Italian mom-and-pop restaurant and decide to stop in. The restaurant was relatively empty, given the holiday, but neither Lily nor her father minded. They both ordered plates of pasta, then sat in silence. Eventually, Lily just had to ask, "Dad, why did you get so upset about Tuney and Vernon's engagement? It's what Tuney wants."

"I know that Flower," David sighed. "And it's not that I don't want your sister to be happy. I just was caught off guard. Since your mother passed, I feel like I don't know what to do with you girls. You're both growing up so fast, and I don't know how to handle it."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'll give your sister some time to cool off, then I'll apologize and give her my blessing."

"But you don't like Vernon." It wasn't a question. Even Lily's mother, who liked everyone, hadn't liked Vernon when Petunia had first brought him home two years ago.

"No, but your sister does, and like you said, it's what she wants." He paused, looking at his youngest daughter shrewdly. "If you came to me and told me you wanted to marry that Potter bloke, I'd give you my blessing, even though he's hurt you twice." Lily looked down and away. "You know better than anyone that the heart wants what it wants."

Their food was dropped off and they both dug in, choosing lighter topics to discuss while eating.

The next day, Lily woke up early, and decided to run out and pick up something extra delicious for breakfast. Thankfully, a bakery was open nearby, and she picked up all manner of pastries and tarts to bring back to the flat. She brewed some coffee once she was back, and laid out everything nicely on the counter for when her father woke up.

"Happy Christmas, Flower!" he yawned as he walked up behind his daughter and kissed the top of her head.

"Happy Christmas, Dad!" She passed him a cup of coffee, and grabbed a croissant for herself.

"You picked all this up?" David asked as he helped himself to a jelly donut.

Lily nodded, swallowing before answering. "I thought we deserved something special." She didn't need to give a reason why; the night before was at the forefront of both of their minds.

They turned the radio on to a channel playing Christmas music, and settled in for breakfast, opening their gifts all the while. Her father was delighted with the collection of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle she'd picked up for him, and smiled sadly at the sweater set Petunia had gotten him.

Lily opened her own gifts, which included a number of classic films featuring James Dean - Lily's Hollywood crush - and a gift card to her favorite bookstore from her father, and a pair of earrings from Petunia. The only gifts left under the tree were Petunia's which left a heavy feeling in the air. "Oh, I almost forgot," David spoke up, snatching a plain cardboard box from under the tree, which Lily hadn't noticed at first glance. "This came for you yesterday."

She looked it over, and saw the return address was from England, and wondered who it could be from. The only person she had given her address to was Alice, but she hadn't thought they were exchanging gifts. She opened up the box to find a beautiful set of linen bound books. She ran a finger over the spines lovingly, curious from whom the gift could be from. At the bottom of the box sat a note. She opened it up and read:

_**Dear Lily,** _

_**I know you probably want nothing to do with me right now, and I understand. I'll leave you be if that's what you want, but I bought you this gift a few weeks ago, and I thought you should have it. I'm certainly never going to read them, and these books deserve to be loved by someone. I thought you should complete your collection of the Brontë sisters. If you'll notice, there's one that's missing. Just remember, no matter what anyone says, it was never your fault. Happy Christmas to you and your family.** _

_**Love,** _

_**James** _

Lily's breath caught in her throat and she felt tears rise to her eyes. "I had a feeling it was from him," David spoke up.

She glanced up briefly at her father then back down at the note. She read it over and over, as if she'd find some hidden meaning between the lines, some hidden apology, but she found nothing. It was obvious James at the very least feeling guilty, that was clear from his words, but there was no sign that he regretted what he'd done.

_Maybe he doesn't. You've heard about what James is like with girls, how uses them to get what he wants then disposes of them. Think about Georgia? You've never even heard him say her name before… Hell, I don't think he even knows her name. Maybe you're lucky. Maybe you got out before things progressed too far, before you had fallen too hard. Maybe he just got bored; you obviously weren't giving it up any time soon, even if you did let him cop a feel…_

Lily felt herself flush as she thought about the way he had kissed her in the corridor, in his car, next to her dormitory. It had felt so real in those moments, so genuine. She had a hard time believing James didn't have feelings for her. _Why would he have begged for me to take him back if he didn't have feelings for me? Why would he kiss me like that, or why would his eyes light up, or why…_

A sudden memory hit her. _"I just, I-I lo-" He stopped himself short. He quickly tried to cover his mistake. "I just love being with you so much, and if I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. I'd go insane, probably."_

_How could he not have feelings for me when he says things like that?_ Lily thought desperately. She looked up at her father, who was watching her carefully.

"Have you thought about what I've said, Flower?"

Lily bit her lip. "I'm not the first heart he's broken," she found herself saying.

Her father nodded. "His ex-girlfriend? The one you said was giving you a hard time?"

Lily nodded. "Her name is Marlene… Dad, she's a total mess. I don't want to end up like her. She's so lost in love with him, it's like she doesn't know what to do with herself."

"But…?"

"But…. I'm not sure if I can get over him. I don't want to be a fool who's just sitting around and waiting for him, but I feel like there's nothing else for me to do. I'm hopelessly devoted to him."

Her father smiled sadly. Lily felt such a mix of emotions, confessing her feelings to her father. She felt hopeless, she felt lost, she felt embarrassed, she felt completely, and utterly heartbroken. "It's like my head is saying, 'Just forget about him!' but my heart is saying, 'Don't let go!' and I want to hold on till the end, but I need to protect myself. He's already hurt me twice, and I definitely cannot handle a third time. It's bad enough I'll have to see him in class everyday, and that he's my project partner-" Lily stopped short, mouth opened in horror. "Oh god! I forgot he was my partner!" She buried her face in her hands.

David had no idea what to do. Lily wasn't one for dramatics, that was more Petunia's style, so he knew his daughter's concerns were genuine. "Do you think he's worth it?"

Lily looked at her father through her fingers. She didn't have an answer to give. David nodded. "Then that's what you have to figure out, Flower. Until then, you'll keep feeling torn."

Lily sighed, laying her head down on the cool marble countertop. "It's so much thinking and feeling. Too much."

"That's the beauty of being a human."

"Then I want to be a rock."

David chuckled. "Doesn't work that way." He stood up from the table. "I should go call your sister." He bent and kissed Lily's hair. "You'll know the right thing to do. I have faith in you Lily, and in the end, you'll make the best decision for yourself."

Lily listened to the sound of her father's steps exiting the kitchen before she sat up. She looked back down at the note, tracing her finger over the messy letters that made up James. Lily knew her father was right, that she needed to decide whether or not she thought James Potter was worth risking yet another heartbreak, but she knew better than to consider it at that moment. She needed more time, time to go over all their time together, the summer and the school year. She longed for her mother to be there to be a sounding board to bounce her thoughts off of.

She stood up from her seat and walked over to the window. One thing was certain, she was not looking forward to second semester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Hey guys! Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed. A break from the long chapters I've been giving you recently.
> 
> I know this chapter probably seemed weird, but I thought it was necessary for L and J to get some time apart to both think about what happened and whether or not they want to be together. Both of them don't really want to face/ think about what happened, even though they really need to, which is why James and Sirius are doing things like snowboarding instead of just sitting around moping about what happened. I do see James as a wallow in pain kind of guy, but I also think since he makes such a big deal about appearances, that he would definitely pretend everything was fine and hide his guilt and shame so that anyone who doesn't know him really well would think he was fine. Lily, I think, is more open with her feelings and more willing to address them, though I do also think she would try to hide how she was feeling because she wouldn't want anyone to think of her as weak.
> 
> Wow, this ANs keep getting longer and longer. Sorry guys! Anyway, please drop a review or send me a message and lemme know what you think. I'm almost finished writing the whole thing, so expect regular updates.
> 
> Good luck to anyone taking finals!
> 
> xoxo Evie


	9. Chapter VIII: Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.
> 
> A/N: So, I don't really make it very clear, I'm just noticing, but time has passed between each of the sections. James's scene is taking place in February. The moment with Marlene is like late March-early April. And Lily's scene/ the fight and challenge are around May.

VIII. Lily

_"Baby, someday when high school is done_

_Somehow, someway, our two worlds will be one_

_In heaven forever and ever we will be_

_Oh, please say you'll stay, oh, Sandy!"_

James was is misery. He hated watching her everyday in class, sitting in her own private world, looking so stoic. Even when she had been hating him before, she'd at least been cheerful and friendly in class and towards other people. And it wasn't that she had stopped being friendly, but there was definitely something missing in her eyes, a sparkle and light that was gone. It killed James to know it was his fault.

He watched her obsessively, unable to help himself. Remus was furious with James, and had been rather curt towards him since they'd come back from break. Peter didn't seem to know what do, though James could tell the short boy was disappointed in James; Peter had taken a shining to Lily, who was one of the only few in their group who had always treated him kindly and with respect. Sirius, true mate that he was, stuck by James's side, though Sirius had made it clear to James his opinion on the matter.

None of the girls would talk to or even acknowledge James anymore. The day they had all returned from break, he had shown up at their dorm, and knocked on the door. It was opened by a furious Alice, who, after giving him a major dressing down, slammed the door in his face. He later found out Lily hadn't even been in the dorm at that time.

Dorcas and Remus had officially started dating, which meant Dorcas hung out with the Marauders without her friends occasionally. That being said, she pretended like James didn't even exist, totally acting as if she couldn't hear a word he said, and even talking over him at times.

Emmeline had become almost like a bodyguard to Lily, walking the redhead to and from her classes, and shooting warning glares at anyone who came near. When James had attempted to talk to Lily one day during Chemistry, Em had gotten up from her lab station across the room and dumped the red solution they'd been experimenting with on him. Thankfully, it was only dyed salt water, but James was fairly certain Emmeline had had no idea what was in that beaker when she'd tossed the substance at him.

Even Marlene had taken to protecting Lily. If she saw James walk into the dining hall and even glance in their direction, she would send him a look of absolute murder, and shift to hide Lily from his view. It was something James had never thought would happen, but in a way, he found it made sense. His two exes protecting one another from him.

The part that depressed and concerned James the most, though, was the way Lily was pushing everyone away. Despite the girls protecting Lily and making it clear they were on her side, Lily seemed to be avoiding her dorm mates at all costs. Though she walked with Emmeline to and from classes, James noticed neither girl spoke a word to each other. If given the option, she chose to eat with her field hockey mates at meals, and Frank had told James that Lily had turned Alice down more than once when invited to hang out.

It was all his fault. He'd ruined everything with that one stupid move. He couldn't believe how a one second decision could change literally everything. Two of his best friends were estranged to him, four girls hated him, and the girl he was in love with had turned into a floating apparition, lacking all spirit, color, and life.

The hammer really hit the nail on the head during English. They had been back from holiday for a month, and Lily still had yet to even look his way. He had totally forgotten about being partnered with Lily in English until McGonagall announced the next assignment.

"You have one more assignment left after this one, so if you've done poorly on the first two, I'd recommend giving both of these all of your attention and effort. This is your last chance to leave a good and lasting impression at Hogwarts, and I suggest you make the most of it," McGonagall said, looking each of her students in the eye as she said this. Her gaze seemed to hesitate over Lily, but the professor moved on before James could be certain. She wrote down the assignment on the board, and gave them the last few minutes in class to discuss ideas with their partners.

James sat up straight in his chair, ready for Lily to look at him for the first time in far too long, but he was instantly disappointed. Because, instead of turning around and looking at him, Lily stood up from her chair and approached McGonagall's desk. James felt his stomach drop out beneath him, but he quickly hid his pain, feigning nonchalance. He leaned forward on his desk, straining his ears to hear what the two females were talking about.

"Miss Evans, are you feeling okay? You look awfully pale," McGonagall said with concern. James looked down at his fingers drumming on his desk, guilt choking him. Lily had been looking drained of all color lately, her hair not as shiny, her skin more sallow, and her eyes a darker, duller green.

"I feel fine… physically, at least," Lily said in a muted voice. James had a feeling she didn't want their peers overhearing her. Though they had all figured out that James and Lily were no more - and who wouldn't have figured it out given the very public diss James had issued - James knew Lily would not want everyone knowing just _how_ deeply he'd hurt her. Lily cleared her throat. "I need to switch partners professor." Her voice was steady, firm, resolute in her decision, and James felt further depressed.

"Oh?" McGonagall sounded surprised. He glanced up over the top of his glasses to see the older woman looking at him. He immediately glanced back down in shame. "But you've both been working so well the last few months. Both of your assignments received top marks."

He heard the rustling of fabric and picture Lily fiddling with her clothing. He felt another pang, remembering how she used to do that when he made her nervous. "Yes, well… things have changed as of recently, and I will not be able to work with him any longer."

The bell rang, ending the period. James heard everyone else pushing back their chairs and filing out the door. James moved slower than the rest, wanting to hear the end of the conversation. It turned out he didn't have to act so sluggish. "Mr. Potter, stay behind a moment."

James moved up to McGonagall's desk, noticing that Lily slid as far from him as she possible could. Though the distance between them couldn't have been more than a meter, it felt like an ocean. "I would like to know why it seems you two, totally out of the blue, can no longer work together," McGonagall demanded, her mouth set in a straight line.

James glanced over at Lily, who was staring straight ahead at the professor, acting as if he didn't exist. He felt his heart break in two, and looked away, meeting McGonagall's eyes briefly, before looking down. He tapped his index finger twice against the old, chipped wood desk, and spoke up. "It's, um, it's my fault professor."

James could feel Lily tense next to him, but she still made no move to acknowledge him. McGonagall cocked an eyebrow, and James hurried to come up with an excuse. "I haven't been doing my share of the work. Lily has been doing all the work, and it's not fair to her that I'm not picking up the slack."

McGonagall stared at him shrewdly for a few moments, no one saying anything. He looked her straight in the eye, willing her to believe him. _Please let me do this one thing for Lily. Please._ "Is this true, Miss Evans?" McGonagall asked, breaking the spell.

Lily didn't say anything, and James had no idea if she was going to let him take the fall or not. He glanced her way, and saw Lily shrug. McGonagall narrowed her eyes, and James hurried to stop any suspicions. "She's just being modest," he said quickly. "Probably doesn't want to throw me under the bus. Lily's noble like that." When McGonagall still didn't look totally convinced, James put on his most charming devil-may-care smirk. "Come on, Minnie," he said, purposely using her first name to bait her. "We know each other quite well. I'd even go so far to say we've surpasses the teacher-student boundary and have gone straight to true friendship with the amount of time we've spent together. You of all people know me best; do you honestly think that Miss Evans, a good, straight-laced, _honest_ student would lie to a magnificent professor like you? Never! But me? I'm lowest of the low, lower than dirt. Too low for even dogs to bite." From the corner of his eye, he saw Lily's head whip in his direction, her eyes wide with shock, but he kept his gaze not the professor. "Let the girl work on her own, and put her out of her misery."

McGonagall didn't speak again. James was clenching his hand buried deep in his pocket in a fist to keep himself from ripping his hair off his head. _Come on, Minnie. Come oonnnnnnn!_

After what felt like an age, McGonagall nodded. "Very well, you may work alone Miss Evans. But I expect the same level and quality of work I have received when the two of you were partners."

Lily nodded solemnly. "Of course, Professor. Thank you."

McGonagall dismissed Lily, and James turned to follow the redhead out into the corridor. "Mr. Potter, a word." She waited until the door closed behind Lily before addressing him again. "That was the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard."

James blinked. He'd never actually heard McGonagall curse before. "Uh…"

McGonagall rolled her eyes and stood up from her chair. She walked over to the board and started wiping away her writing. "I know your writing style, Mr. Potter. I _have_ been teaching you for seven years. I know you and Miss Evans have both been putting in an equal amount of effort on the assignments, and frankly, it's been some of the best work you have ever done for me."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Which is why I want to know the real reason why Miss Evans does not want to work with you anymore."

James finally gave into the urge and his hand shifted to his hair. "I messed up. I messed up big time."

McGonagall put down the eraser and turned to face James. "You seem to mess up with Miss Evans quite often," she said, referring to the beginning of the year. "Yet, you've both seemed quite happy, even, I dare say, affectionate towards each other for the past few months."

James shook his head. "This time it's different. I- Lily gave me a second chance, and I… I tossed it away."

A crease formed between McGonagall's eyebrows. "She forgave you last time. What makes you think she won't again?"

James was unable to look his favorite professor in the eye anymore. "I hurt her. I think I… I think I broke her heart."

"Ah."

James flushed, and his whole body filled up with shame and guilt. He waited in agony for a reprimand from McGonagall, unable to bear it if he lost yet another person he cared for. "James." James looked up, once again shocked. In seven years of teaching him, McGonagall had never once used his first name. He knew she meant business. She smiled at him sadly, a kind of fondness in her expression that lifted James's heart a little. "You're a good boy. A good _man_. If Miss Evans truly means as much to you as it appears she does, I have complete faith you will do everything in your power to make it up to her."

"What if I can't?"

"You'll never know if you don't at least try. And if you don't try, then you're a fool."

James's lips twitched. This was why he loved McGonagall.

McGonagall straightened her glasses, the smile disappearing and being replaced with a stern look. "Now, as I told Miss Evans, I expect the same level of work I have been receiving all semester. Do not fail me."

"Yes, ma'am." James saluted his professor, who rolled her eyes and dismissed him. He left her classroom feeling better than he had all week. The feeling did not last.

"Why did you do that?"

James spun and saw Lily standing behind him. "Lily!" His hand jumped to his hair. "I didn't see you there."

"Why did you do that?" she demanded, her books pressed against her chest, her arms in the shape of an X, like a shield protecting her from him. Instantly the good feeling disappeared.

"Well… I- uh… um…." He wanted to slap himself. _Just spit it out man!_ "Well, you didn't want to be partners anymore, not that I blame you, and-"

Lily's eyes brightened with anger, and James felt his heart rate pick up. "Oh, yes, thank you, James! Thank you for not _blaming_ me for not wanting to work with you!"

"Ah- I- c'mon Lil! It's just a saying."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You didn't have to do that; I don't need your help." She spun on her heel to walk away, but James couldn't let her go yet.

Lily! Please, _please_ give me a chance to apologize!"

"Apologize? Why?"

James paused. Lily seemed genuinely confused as to why he would want to apologize, and James suddenly didn't feel so certain of the situation. "Um… because of the…" He didn't really want to say it, in case Lily had some form of selective memory loss and couldn't remember the dance, and hated him for some other reason, like the fact that he hadn't called her over break due to the aforementioned event. "Because of the dance."

Lily's eyes flared, the green brightening further. _Nope. She remembers._ "Why should you apologize? You treated me no different than any other girl you've been with."

James frowned. Did she really think she was the same as every other girl James had ever been with? "Lil, c'mon. You know you're different."

"No. I'm not." Her tone implied no point in arguing. "Or you wouldn't have danced with Bellatrix. You did to me the same thing you've done to other girls. Georgia, the fifth year you fucked once and then never spoke of again. Me. Marlene. Hell, I'm sure you even did it to Bellatrix! You play with our feelings, use us for what you want, then leave when you get uncomfortable or scared."

James felt himself pale, even as anger flared within. "Don't you dare use Marlene against me. I told you the truth about our situation."

Lily shrugged. "I'm not using her against you. I'm just pointing out your actions. It's not my fault you can't face them." All the fire Lily had had for the last few minutes seemed to drain out of her. "I just can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for the act the second time."

James was at a loss for what to say. He watched mournfully as the color her anger had brought her faded out of Lily. He wanted to reach out and hold her close; he wanted to apologize and he wanted her to listen. But he didn't move to stop her when she walked away. He sighed heavily and pulled out his phone, sending out a quick text.

He met Sirius outside the boys' locker room, already smoking a cigarette. Sirius didn't say anything, just pulled out his own pack and lit up. A good fifteen minutes passed without either boy speaking. James broke it first. "McGonagall cursed in front of me."

Sirius whipped his head around in surprise. "No fucking way."

"She said 'bullshit'. She also called me James."

Sirius's mouth was wide open.

"And she smiled at me."

The cigarette fell from his mouth.

James smirked, taking the little joy he could from his best mate's reaction, all the while going over McGonagall's and Lily's words in his head.

He and Sirius smoked in silence, both lost in their own heads, when the sound of a door opening disturbed their peace.

"-are you doing here? You know if Dumbledore or those pathetic Marauders find out you're here there'll be trouble!" An oily voice hissed.

James and Sirius exchanged a look. They knew that voice. They quickly stubbed out their cigarettes and melted into the shadows, trying to become invisible. Their backs turned to the two Marauders, Snape stood next to a man with blonde hair so light it was almost white. Lucius Malfoy.

"Relax, Severus. No one saw me come in, and if they did, they know better than to do anything about it. It's fine."

Despite Malfoy's words, Snape's posture was tense."Why are you here?"

Malfoy clucked his tongue. "No need to be rude. Rodolphus sent me. He wants to make sure you got rid of the car."

"I thought that case was closed. Why does he care now? It's almost been a year," Snape's tone was hesitation coated in surprise.

Based off his words, James could just picture Malfoy rolling his eyes. "You know how he is, always so paranoid. He heard that some new evidence has arisen, and wants to make sure no one can trace anything back to us."

James and Sirius exchanged a look, both smirking. The Death Eaters were trying to hide something, and this knowledge would definitely come in handy at a later date.

"What evidence?"

MMalfoy responded, "Well, apparently Avery didn't do a very good job of shutting up the witness, and the man came forward with a more definitive description of the tattoo he saw. The cops still haven't put two and two together, and figured out it was one of us, but it's only a matter of time."

"This is the accident from last May, correct? What was that woman's name again?"

Malfoy waved off the inquiry, as if the woman, and whatever had happened to her was of no matter. "Something Evans or Everson. Something with an E."

James felt his blood run cold. _Last May… witness saw tattoo… accident with a woman named Evans… Holy shit!_ Sirius was watching the scene intensely, having no clue just what the two Death Eaters were discussing. James nudged Sirius, getting his attention.

"So, did you get rid of the car?"

"Of course. It's gone. Bottom of the ravine near Thunder Road."

"Good." Malfoy rubbed his hands together, and James signaled to Sirius that they should move. It seemed like the conversation was coming to an end, and he wanted neither Snape nor Malfoy to see them there. "I hate that Lestrange thinks he can treat me like his errand boy. Does he not know who my father is?"

Sirius and James, crouching in the shadows, made their way to the side of the castle, leading towards the student lot. Once they were around the corner they sprinted for James's car. They hopped in, James turned on the engine, and they pulled away from the school.

"Holy shite!" Sirius cried, pulling his hair back into a bun. "What was that? What were they talking about? Oh man, this is such good blackmail!"

"Sirius, this is not a joke," James stared wide-eyed at the road in front of him, his grip death like on the wheel. "Did you not hear the last name Malfoy said?"

"He didn't know what it was. He said Everson or Evans…" He turned to look at James. "Wait…"

James nodded. "Lily's mum, I think. Lily told me that last May, her mother was killed in a hit-and-run, and that a witness saw the driver had a tattoo on his forearm."

"Fuck."

James pulled off to the side of the road. "Fuck, fuck fuck!" He slammed his hands against the wheel in agitation. "Fucking hell! What the fuck do I do, Padfoot?"

Sirius was shaking his head, looking more uncertain than James had ever seen him. "I don't know, Prongs. This is more fucked up than a soap opera."

James and Sirius stared at each other. "Should we go to the cops?" Sirius asked.

James yanked at his hair. His brain was rushing with thoughts, each passing through too quickly for him to pick out individually. "I don't know… I don't think the cops could do anything without an actual confession from one of them. At most, the cops would ask one of the Death Eaters to go in for questioning, and that will just make them more edgy. No, I think we should use this as leverage against them. Try to get them to confess somehow."

Sirius nodded, breathing heavily like he'd just run a race. He asked the question neither of them really wanted to think about. "Do we tell Evans?"

James stared out the windshield. He pictured Lily's tears when she had been telling him about her mother's death. "I… No, I don't think we should. At least not until we have anything definitive. I don't want to give her false hope."

Sirius nodded. "This is some crazy shit. I can't believe they've actually killed someone."

"Why? Riddle's killed people before."

"I know… it's just… we know these people. I mean, I've always known they were capable of it, but that they actually _have_ killed someone… it's just fucking insane."

James ran his hands through his hair and silently agreed. He turned the key in the ignition, and started up the car. He pulled back out onto the road, knowing that neither of them would be able to handle class now.

* * *

Marlene frowned as she looked down. _Where's the blood?_ She started doing some mental math, trying to ignore the way her stomach suddenly felt hollow. _Today's the 2nd… usually comes around the end of the month…_ Marlene straightened up. _No fucking way. That's impossible…_ She looked back down, trying to find a spec of red, even the smallest drop. _No, no, nonononononon!_ She felt her throat close up, black dots appeared before her eyes, and she reached out to steady herself against the sink. _No. NO! This CANNOT be HAPPENING!_ "That's not possible…" she muttered to herself. She reached down, searching, and pulled her fingers back up to look at them. Clean, not the slightest bit of blood on them. _But I haven't been with anyone since Sirius…_ She started doing the math in her head again, the blood draining from her face with each second.

She was jolted from her frantic thinking when there was a sharp knock on the door. "Are you done in there, Mar? Al wants to shower and Dor says she's gonna wet herself if you don't come out soon!" Emmeline's voice called, slightly muffled by the white-painted wooden door.

Marlene took a breath, needing to steady her voice. "Just a sec!" she called, turning on the sink and squirting some soap onto her hands. She dazedly washed her hands, staring at her reflection in the mirror. _It just_ can't _be true. There's no way! We were so careful…_ She paled again at the memory, and had to splash cold water on her face to keep herself from passing out.

She exited the loo, vaguely registering Dorcas edging past her to get in. She walked over to her bed, glancing about the room and just barely taking in everything. Alice was standing by her armoire wrapped in a towel, pulling out a shower caddy with her bathroom supplies. Lily's bed was empty and neatly made, the redhead already gone for the day. Dorcas's corner was a mess, her bed covered in clothes and old wrappers and water bottles. Emmeline stood in front of her mirror, carefully applying mascara so as to get each strand. It was all the same as always, except it wasn't, and it all made Marlene feel all the more nauseated.

Marlene made it to her bed, grabbing her book bag from the base of the mattress. She was glad she was already dressed and ready for the day, unsure whether or not she would be able to handle dressing herself now. Emmeline appeared at her side, fluffing her hair. "Ready?" the blonde asked distractedly, smirking down at her phone as she responded to a text. Marlene made a noise of consent, and the two girls left the dormitory.

Emmeline gabbed on the whole walk to the dining hall, but Marlene didn't catch a word she said. She knew she had to snap out, Em would run out of breath soon enough and notice, but she just couldn't. "Mar? You okay?" Emmeline asked only a few minutes after Marlene had that thought. "You're quiet."

"I feel like a broken laptop," Marlene replied, her voice low and distracted.

Emmeline giggled. "What?"

Marlene's head snapped up and she turned to look at Emmeline. She needed to tell someone, and Emmeline was her best friend. _You can trust her. Em can help_ , part of her thought, while the other said, _She's just gonna judge you, like everyone else will._

"Mar, you're really freaking me out," Em said, her blue eyes wide with concern.

Marlene found herself spitting out the words before she'd fully thought things through. "I skipped a period."

Both girls had stopped walking, and were standing in the middle of the hallway as people rushed around them. Their peers all knew better than to yell at Marlene to move, lest they wanted the wrath of Marlene McKinnon brought down on them.

Emmeline looked blank for a moment, not realizing what Marlene was saying, but as she continued to look at the brunette's unusually panicked eyes, realization hit her. She gasped, eyes going wide. "You're pregnant!" she hissed, knowing even in her shock to not yell such a thing. Gossip spread through Hogwarts faster than the Plague.

Neither Marlene, nor Emmeline said anything, both girls in utter shock. Emmeline seemed to regain her composure a little faster. "Do you know whose it is? Is it Sirius's?"

Marlene did some quick thinking. She didn't want to admit her weakness to Emmeline, even if she was her closest mate. "Nah, you don't know him," Marlene whispered back.

Emmeline nodded, and both girls continued walking. Just outside the doors to the dining hall, Em spoke again. "Well, I mean, you can always go to the clinic. I'll come with if you want."

Marlene turned to Emmeline quickly, grabbing the blonde's wrist and squeezing tightly. "You won't tell anyone, right Em?"

Emmeline nodded fiercely. "I'll take it to the grave." Marlene supposed had she been in the right frame of mind, she would've rolled her eyes at her mate's dramatics, but instead she just felt grateful.

The girls got their food and started searching for a table. For some reason, the dining hall seemed more crowded than usual, with people everywhere, pushing against one another and making it difficult to move around. "Excuse me!" Emmeline called as the two girls fought their way through the crowd. "Coming through! Excu- Move aside, lady with a baby!"

Marlene, Emmeline, and everyone in their vicinity froze. Emmeline paled, turning to Marlene with panicked eyes, but Marlene ignored her, knowing damage control needed to be done _now_. "She's joking," she growled, glaring fiercely at all the people around her. They cowered, and hurried away, knowing better than to question her authority.

And yet, by the end of classes, it seemed like everyone in Hogwarts knew that Marlene McKinnon was pregnant. Already wild rumors were flying around about who the father could be, with people whispering everything from the obvious - Sirius -, the disturbing - Professor Flitwick -, and the downright ridiculous - that she was abducted by aliens and was to be the first human to carry a human-alien hybrid. She glared at Emmeline when they walked out of Italian, and Thomas Rodchester walked up to her to ask when the shower was. "Good news travel fast, eh?" Emmeline just blushed and looked away.

The only thing Marlene could pray for was that Sirius hadn't heard the rumor. But of course, as was often with her life, she was not so lucky. He found her outside by the bleachers smoking a cigarette. "Shouldn't you not be doing that?" he called up to her.

She didn't respond, but tossed away the rest. "Guess I should be congratulating you," Sirius said as he climbed up to her. "Heard you've got a bun in the oven."

"You're so eloquent," she responded sarcastically, wrapping her arms tighter around herself and staring out at the empty football field.

"Soooooo… is there anything I can do?"

Marlene turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Sirius shrugged, pulling a hair band off of his wrist and pulling his hair up, his own version of James's hair combing. "I mean I wanna help." He looked at her earnestly, grey eyes serious and firm. "I don't run from my mistakes."

Marlene felt something hot and furious run through her veins. _Mistake, eh? That's what he thinks of it?_ She thought back to the last time she'd seen Sirius outside of school. It had been at James's parent's New Year's Eve ball. Her family had been invited, as usual, and with a depressed and self-loathing James sucking the fun from the atmosphere, Sirius and Marlene had put aside their differences for the night and hung out. They'd stolen a bottle or two of champagne, and one thing led to another… _He certainly wasn't thinking it was a mistake in the moment. Even when the condom broke._

"Hey, don't worry about it," Marlene said, her voice hard, and sarcastic, and caustic. Sirius instantly backed away, knowing he'd said something wrong. "It was someone else's _mistake_ ," she spat, feeling a malicious joy when Sirius winced at her words. _How does he like it?_

Sirius stared at her for a long while. Marlene just looked away, unable to bear his gaze. She hated that it hurt so much that he called her… that he called her and their potential _child_ a mistake. She hated that she was about ten seconds away from balling her eyes out and he was part of the reason. "Thanks a lot, kid," he muttered, his voice thick and filled with pain and betrayal.

Marlene felt it like a blow to the head. She forced herself to look up at him, forced out her words, forced the callus tone. "Anytime."

Sirius looked at her blankly, shook his head, and climbed back down the bleachers. She watched him until he was a good distance away, before buying her head in her hands and letting herself sob for the first time in a very long time.

* * *

Lily was finding it difficult to breathe everyday. Everywhere she looked, there he was. She would walk into the corridor on her way to lunch, and pass the alcove where James had pressed her up against the wall and made her knees go weak. She'd attend practice, and see the school's bus leaving the parking lot, taking the football team to another match. Even just looking at the people around her hurt; she'd hear Alice walk into the dorm late in the night, coming back from a date with Frank, and Lily's chest would hurt as she remembered them dancing with Frank and Alice at the dance.

She'd been spending a lot of time thinking on the words of her father, about how she'd been idealizing James. It had never occurred to her that she was ignoring the James right in front of her, only looking for the James she'd met over the summer in the moments they spent together. It made her chest ache even more, knowing that in a way, their relationship had never truly been genuine.

She found herself also thinking over Marlene's words from the dance. Marlene had been acting… well, not exactly nice, but certainly not hostile towards Lily as of late. She'd noticed the brunette acting as a sort of bodyguard, as all her other dorm mates were, and keeping James as far away as possible. Lily had a feeling that Marlene had something to do with what had happened at the dance. Lily had no clue what it could be exactly, but she'd seen remorse in the girl's eyes for a while now, and Lily knew Marlene felt guilt for some action or other.

At the dance, Marlene had confessed to being in love with James, something Lily had suspected for a while now. Lily chuckled darkly to herself. Two girls who had loved and lost James living together; her life had to be some sort of comedic tragedy.

She was currently walking with Emmeline to chemistry. Emmeline was acting as her usual self, discussing current gossip spreading throughout the school, but Lily could feel the tension in the air between them that had not existed before. Lily felt somewhat guilty for pushing away her dorm mates, but knowing that they were connected to James in some way was enough to make Lily want nothing to do with them. She particularly hated pushing Alice away, hated the hurt that was almost constant in Alice's expression whenever Lily acted in that way.

They walked into the classroom and went their separate ways, Emmeline to slouch down next to Peter, while Lily ignored James's table and plopped down next to Severus. "Hi," she muttered to him as she pulled out her book. He nodded in response, murmuring under his breath as he read a message on his phone.

She glanced up at the board, and sighed. Just a note taking day, her least favorite. Slughorn's lectures were so boring, especially since he always got distracted bragging about a previous student of his who'd made some discovery in the field. She further hated lecture days because it meant she was keenly aware of James watching her. Not that he didn't watch her on lab days, but at least then she had to focus on the experiment which kept her from being as acutely aware.

Severus put his phone away and turned to Lily, his mouth open to say something, but he scowled when he met James's gaze over Lily's shoulder. "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer," he sneered.

Lily snuck a glance at James from the corner of her eye. He cocked an eyebrow, responding, "I would, but I have a feeling your ugly face would break my camera, and it's so expensive to get those things repaired."

Severus's nostril flared. "Not like daddy can't just buy you ten new ones."

Lily saw James's jaw tense, and she felt a brief flash of violence towards Severus. _How dare he throw that in James's face._ Lily waited for a scathing response from James, but he just crossed his arms over his chest and turned away. Severus sat back looking smug. "That wasn't very nice," Lily found herself saying.

Severus raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. "What he said to me wasn't any nicer."

Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I'm not saying it was. You're both in the wrong."

Severus grunted and turned his attention back to the front of the room. A good twenty minutes passed of the two of them just taking notes when Severus let out a frustrated breath. "Why is he still staring over here?"

"Just ignore him," Lily muttered, trying to concentrate on her notes, but even she had to admit James's staring was distracting.

Now she could feel Severus staring at her. Lily was getting seriously tired of everyone watching her all the time. "What?" she asked under her breath, looking at Severus from the corner of her eye.

"I thought you two were dating." Lily just shrugged. "Why are you bothered by his staring?"

Lily sighed heavily, getting irritated. "Just ignore him, Sev. You're only egging him on by getting upset about it."

"Did you guys break up?" Severus asked suddenly. Lily looked up at him, her neck cracking as she whipped her head to stare at him. "Well… did you?"

She didn't like the hopeful, excited note in his voice. It made her uncomfortable. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

She made an irritated noise low in her throat. "Did I not just say I didn't want to talk about this."

"But why did you end things? What did he do?"

"Sev, let it go." Her voice held a threatening note that Severus just didn't seem to be picking up on.

"I knew he'd fuck up. He's not good enough for you Lily. He's just a spoiled, arrogant prick who nee-"

"Shut. Up." Lily glared at him. "I told you more than once that I didn't want to talk about this. If you keep pressing me, I will ask Slughorn if I can work with someone else." She waited a few seconds for her words to sink in before continuing. "I really, really don't want to discuss this with you Severus. It's my personal life, and I don't feel comfortable discussing this, got it?"

Sev nodded, not looking happy about it, but finally conceding to Lily's request. They spent the rest of the class in tense silence, both pretending to be too absorbed in the lecture and their notes than to acknowledge the heavy atmosphere.

When the bell rang, Lily was shocked to see Sev didn't sprint instantly for the door like he usually did, but rather, waited for Lily to pack up before leaving. She could see Emmeline from the corner of her eye watching as Severus followed Lily to the door, unsure of whether or not she should join the pair. Lily looked at Emmeline, trying to ask the blonde to step in with her eyes and a head gesture.

"So," Severus began, calling Lily's attention back to him. "Now that you and Potter are on the quits-"

"Sev-" Lily warned.

"- do you think you'd want to go out sometime?"

Whatever Lily was expecting Severus to say, that was one hundred percent not it. She froze, complete ignorant of all the people making irritated noises as they moved around her and the greasy-haired boy. She didn't even notice the Marauders and Emmeline standing nearby, all five of them standing around in complete shock. She missed the way the three Marauders and Emmeline all turned to stare at James, who had a furious expression and clenched fists. She missed how other students in the hall all paused to watch the scene take place. All she could do was stare wide-eyed at Severus.

"What?" she gasped.

Sev started to look a bit unsure of himself as he took in her startled expression. He looked around at the audience they had attracted, and Lily watched his sallow cheeks gain a faint red tinge. "You don't have to act so surprised," he muttered, sounding a little hurt.

Lily shook herself from her shock, taking pity on Severus. "I'm sorry Sev. I just wasn't expecting it."

"Why?"

_Because you don't really seem like the kind of guy to give a damn about relationships. Because you don't seem like the kind of guy to give a second thought to love, or sex. You're the kind of guy who would think hormones are pointless._ "Because we've never really spent time together outside of class," Lily hedged, trying not to show how uncomfortable she was with this unexpected turn of events.

"Well, that's the point of a date, is it not? To get to know a person better," Severus continued.

Lily bit her lip. _Why'd this have to happen to me?_ "Sev… I- I don't think it's a good idea…"

Severus's dark eyes took on a sharp note. "Why not?"

"Well, I got out of a… relationship of sorts with someone recently and I'm not quite ready to date yet."

Severus snorted, shooting a glare over his shoulder at James. "You can't tell me you're honestly still hung up on Potter." When Lily didn't instantly respond, he turned to her with scorn. "You are?"

Lily looked away. It wasn't something she wanted James to know, nor anyone else for that matter, but she nodded. "I can't believe this!" Severus sounded furious. "I thought you were different. You're just like every other pathetic female in this school: obsessed with that pathetic, big-headed arse!"

Lily looked up, getting defensive and angry. "That's not fair, Sev! I just got out of a relationship with him. You can't expect me to be over it already!"

" _Just_ got out? Things have been over since December… or are you so pathetic that you stuck with him even after he publicly humiliated you?"

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. "No, I didn't stay with him. Of course I'm not that pathetic!" she spat. "But I'm not ready to date yet. Why can't you just accept that?"

"You disappoint me, Lily Evans! Why would you even date him in the first place?"

"I don't owe you any explanation! And now I'm definitely not going to go on a date with!"

"Fine by me. I wouldn't want his sloppy seconds anyways! How long did it take for you to spread your legs? Two minutes?"

There was a collective gasp from the crowd watching, but all Lily could see was red as she stepped forward and slapped Severus as hard as she could across the face. "How dare you!"

She raised her hand to slap him again, but he caught her arm, the sleeve of his oversized jumper falling to his elbow and revealing a tattoo on his forearm. There was another gasp from the crowd, and Lily looked closer at the tattoo. She felt a kind of niggling at the back of her mind, a reminder of something she'd heard. As the thought came to the forefront of her mind, her eyes widened. "You're one of them? You're a Death Eater?"

She yanked on her arm, trying to get free from Severus's grip, but he held on tight, his eyes taking on a kind of madness. "How could you have been with him? You should have been with me! He will never be able to love you! Never!"

"Let me go! Let go!" Lily continued yanking on her arm, fighting to get free. Severus dug his nails in, making her yelp at the sharp pinch.

Suddenly she was free, Severus's nails digging in and ripping across her skin as her arm was violently jerked free. She gasped in pain, clutching her arm to her chest, looking down at the jagged red lines on her forearm. Little beads of blood began to appear on the marks. Lily looked up, ready to scream at Severus for injuring her, but she saw he was pushed up against the wall now, James towering over his as he pressed his forearm into Severus's throat.

Lily stared at the scene in shock, unable to believe how quickly everything had escalated. She felt someone grab her shoulder and looked over to see Emmeline shifting her body, as though to shield Lily. Lily felt frozen to the ground as she heard James yell, "Don't you lay a fucking hand on her!"

Severus pushed back against James, but the other boy was so much taller and broader that Severus's skinny arms didn't help him much. "Who the hell do you think you are, Potter? You're not her keeper. Lily gets to do what she wants."

"And she told you to let her go multiple times. Or did you not hear that over the rejection still ringing in your ears?"

Severus brought a knee up between James's legs, the other boy buckling in pain, unable to help himself when Severus shoved James away, taking a defensive position. "Get up and fight me like a man!"

James groaned loudly, trying to wave back the rest of the Marauders who all rushed forward to make sure their mate was alright. "A bit hard to do when you don't play fair!" Remus retorted, looking furious.

"You want a fight?" Sirius turned to Severus, radiating fury. He rolled up his sleeves and dropped his backpack, walking up to Severus. "Let's go."

"No!" Lily cried, shaking Emmeline's grip loose. "Stop it! Right now!"

Both boys ignored her, circling each other. It was like watching a lion show down with a snake, just a matter of who would pounce first. "Padfoot," James called, seeming to have regained his breath. "Stand down."

"No fucking way," Sirius retorted. "This twat has fucked with us one time too many." And he swung, just barely missing Severus's jaw as the other boy dropped to the ground to dodge the punch.

"Sirius!" James called again, shaking off Peter's concerned grip and limping to Sirius's side. "He's not worth it."

"Are you fucking kidding, Prongs? What about-" Sirius seemed to catch himself before he said something he shouldn't. He looked his best mate in the eye, some unspoken message passing between them. Sirius frowned, not looking happy about it, but he finally stood down.

Sirius and James turned away from Severus, leaving the greasy haired boy still crouching on the ground, looking angrier than ever. He stood up and rushed up behind James, pushing the taller boy. James stumbled a step. "Stand here and fight me, you coward!" Severus screamed, Lily jumping at the volume. She'd rarely ever heard Severus speak above a mumble.

"I'm not gonna fight you Snape," James replied, refusing to give in to the taunts. "Go back to your precious gang. No one here cares about you anymore. You're not worth it."

Severus's face turned a strange purplish color, and Lily was afraid he'd give himself a stroke. "Sev, calm-" Lily started approaching him, trying to talk in a soothing manner, but he turned crazed eyes on her.

"Don't you talk to me, you fucking whore!" James whipped around again, a furious expression on his face. "I challenge you!" Severus screamed, glaring at James with unadulterated hate. "I challenge you to a race!"

It felt like everything froze again. People were standing in the hallway staring at the scene like they were watching a soap opera. Lily heard Emmeline gasp next to her, and she saw Peter tense up. Remus crossed his arms, looking irritated, but resigned. Sirius looked righteous and impulsive, like he was one insult away from beating the living shit out of Severus. Severus looked deranged, and Lily was sure she looked shocked. The only person who truly seemed calm was James. The fury had melted out of him, and he had taken on a careless façade.

He cocked an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest, and leaned back, a smug smirk on his face that Lily knew would make Severus's blood boil like nothing else. "You? _You_ wanna race _me_?" His tone implied that what Severus was suggesting was absolutely absurd, and Lily knew he was goading the other boy.

Severus seemed to falter slightly at James's challenge, but he squared his shoulders and nodded. "Death Eaters versus Marauders."

James cocked an eyebrow, though he did look intrigued. He glanced sideways at Sirius, and once again Lily had the feeling the pair were having a conversation without anyone else's knowledge. James tilted his head, Sirius shrugged, James scrunched up his nose, Sirius smirked. James turned back to Severus. "Deal. We'll meet at Thunder Road on Sunday at 8."

Severus nodded. No one moved for a while, then Severus pushed his way through the amassed students. They all still stood there, staring at the scene in amazement, and James made an irritated noise. "Well? Scram!"

Everyone aside from the Marauders, Lily, and Emmeline hurried away, and left the six of them alone in the hallway. Lily felt as if she'd been injected with some kind of serum that had both sped time up and slowed it down. She had a vague thought in the back of her mind that she should probably go to the nurse to make sure her arm wouldn't get infected, but the rest of her was still reeling from everything that had gone down.

_Severus asks for a date… I say no… then I'm bleeding… Now the Marauders and Death Eaters are racing at Thunder Road._

Only that last thought seemed to really make any sort of impact on Lily's mind at the moment, and she felt herself come back to the present. The Marauders were all standing together, heads bent towards one another as they had a kind of pow-wow. Emmeline stood beside Lily, a cautious note to her stance so Lily was certain she was probably radiating anger.

"James." Her voice was sharp, and she surprised herself a little with how much she sounded like McGonagall.

He winced at the sound of her voice and turned slowly to face her. "Lily," he said in a resigned tone. Lily ignored it.

"A word please," she said between gritted teeth. She tilted her head in the direction of a quiet alcove, marching in that direction and confident that James was following her.

Lily crossed her arms over her chest, wincing when her fingers landed on the scratched. James heard her hiss in pain and he reached for her. "Are you okay? You should probably go see Pomfrey."

She pulled her arm out of his reach, ignoring his hurt frown and her own yearning to feel his fingers on her skin. "What the hell was that?" she hissed, narrowing her eyes threateningly.

James just shrugged, but Lily was not having that. "Don't you fucking shrug! Where do you get off interfering with a conversation I was having-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," James cut in. "That wasn't a conversation. He fucking grabbed you and physically injured you!" James grabbed her wrist and held up her forearm for Lily to look at.

She continued as if he hadn't spoken at all. "- You're not my boyfriend! I was handling it, and you just went and made things worse!" She yanked on her arm, but he held steady.

"Handling it? Ha!" James dropped her arm, crossing his own across his chest. "More like floundering in shock. I've got to give Snivelly a point though. Didn't know he had it in him."

"Do you think this is a fucking joke?" Lily hissed. "It's not funny! You nearly started a fight!"

"Um, he physically abused you! Then he kneed me in the balls!" James growled, once again grabbing Lily's wrist. "Do you just not feel pain?"

Lily tugged on her arm again. "You overreacted!"

"I _overreacted_?" James's eyebrows rose. "Jesus Christ…" He let go of her arm and started pacing, muttering to himself. Lily tried to subtly examine her arm. Thankfully, Severus's nails hadn't dug in too deep, so she wasn't bleeding, and any blood that had dotted the jagged lines was dry now. She ran a finger lightly over the wound, wincing at the sharp pain shooting up her arm. James glanced back at her, and sighed, noticing her raised arm. "Please. Let me take you to the nurse."

"I can go myself. I have legs."

"I know that, but I'd like to come anyways, and make sure you actually go myself." Lily wanted to resist and put up more of a fight, but James was already walking down the corridor, so Lily was left with no choice but to follow him. Emmeline and the rest of the Marauders had disappeared. In fact, it seemed like everyone had disappeared, the whole castle was so silent, aside from the clacking of Lily's maryjanes on the stone floor.

Neither of them spoke on their journey, Lily trying to come up with stories to tell Pomfrey regarding the scratch marks. "I can't believe you said I overreacted," James muttered, calling Lily's attention to him.

"What?"

James snorted, ignoring her. "I mean, that's fucking _rich_ coming from you."

" _Excuse_ me?" Lily stopped walking, instantly becoming defensive. "When have I overreacted?"

James snorted. "I'd say the last few months have been a perfect example."

"Oh?" Lily started to cross her arms over her chest, before remembering her injury and replacing them on her hips. "You don't think I was justified in ignoring you for the last few months?"

"No," James retorted, smirking as he crossed his arms over his chest. "A month, sure. Two, maybe, but five months? I think you overreacted."

Lily saw red for the second time in under an hour, her nostrils flaring as her temper rose. "Oh really…" She saw a kind of panic flash in James's eyes as he realized his grave mistake. "I overreacted, huh? Well, excuse me for getting upset that the man… no, the _boy_ because no man would've done what you did - that the boy who promised me - when I gave him a second chance, nonetheless - that I would not get hurt a second time broke his promise. Forgive me for wanting to protect my heart." Lily tried to ignore the way her throat started closing up at the end of her sentence, the way her eyes had started to blur with the onset of tears.

"Lil…"

"Don't call me that," she whispered. It hurt to much to hear that nickname; it brought back memories of a happier time.

The air between them was heavy with memories, sadness, anger, betrayal. Neither of them knew how to cross this boundary, and if she was being honest, Lily was afraid to.

James ruffed up his hair, a heavy breath escaping him. He opened his mouth as though to be speak, when Lily felt a sudden fear rise up in her. She backed away from him, her eyes widening. A panicked look came over his face, and James reached out, a hunter calming a wild animal. Lily turned on her heel and ran.

* * *

James was not hungry, which was strange because James was an eighteen-year-old boy; he was always hungry. But he wasn't really feeling anything at the moment aside from a desperate need to smoke. He sat in the dining hall with the Marauders, trying to ignore all the whispers around him as all his peers gossiped about what had gone down in the corridor earlier.

He was trying to subtly watch Lily, who was sitting with Emmeline, Alice, Dorcas, and Marlene today. Her forearm was wrapped in bandages, which James took as a sign that she'd listened to him and gone to the nurse after she'd run away. He was still haunted by the look that had come over her face seconds before she'd turned away from him. It was like look of utter terror and panic, like a doe seconds before it was hit by a huge truck.

Things had not gone down the way he'd planned. He had been planning to respect Lily's wishes of keeping his distance, giving her the space she had nonverbally asked for. But then Snape had asked her out and he'd nearly snapped. When the greasy-haired git grabbed Lily, he'd crossed a line. James hadn't thought about his actions; he'd just reacted, the only thought in his head that he would kill anyone who laid a hand on his Lily. Of course everything else had just been a downward spiral from that.

"Cheer up, Prongs," Sirius cried from across the table. He was reclined back in his chair, balancing precariously on the back two legs. "Lucy won't let us down. There's no way we're losing to the Death Eaters."

"I don't think that's what's making him upset," Remus replied, spearing a carrot on his plate.

"I can't believe Snivellus scratched Lily," Peter said, staring at his distorted reflection in his spoon. "I wonder if it's like getting bitten by a werewolf… Now she'll turn into a greasy-haired git as well."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Nah. Evans seems like the kind of girl who enjoys showering and washes her hair with strawberry scented shampoo."

"Nah. It's more of a floral scent," James put in distractedly.

Remus sighed heavily. "You're all fucking idiots."

"I resent that, Moony," Sirius replied. "Prongs, back me up here."

"He can't. He's too busy pining after Lily," Peter smirked.

James scowled, but didn't reply. It was true. He watched her for a few more moments, but eventually turned back to his friends. "I'm going for a smoke."

He didn't wait for a reply, just got up from the table and walked out the back door. Whispers followed him as he walked, but he held his head high, pretending to be above all the others. He breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally outside. Though the springtime air still had a bit of a cool sting to it, he embraced the warmer weather and felt a comfort in it. He leaned against the side of the castle, the stone cool against his back, a warmish breeze ruffling his hair. He pulled a cigarette from his pack and lit up. As he inhaled, he instantly felt some tension in his shoulders disappear. He closed his eyes and pretended he was anywhere else.

"For someone who seems to want to hide, you didn't do a very good job of finding a hiding spot."

"Go away Mar," he replied without opening his eyes.

He knew better than to expect Marlene to listen to him, but he wasn't expecting her to reach into his pocket for his pack. He opened his eyes, looking down into Marlene's dark eyes. They hadn't stood this close to one another in a long time, and he found it a bit disconcerting. He no longer felt any of the lust he used to when she would press herself up against him. He no longer saw that fierce confidence that glowed in her eyes when she'd tilt her head up to kiss him. Instead, he saw a kind of despair and hurt he had a feeling was reflected in his eyes as well.

She placed a cigarette in her mouth, lighting up as well. She slowly pulled away from him, so that she was leaning against the wall beside him. They stood there smoking, watching the sun dip beneath a trees, the sky a sorbet of pink, orange, and yellow with slight tints of purple and indigo.

"C'mon." He opened his eyes and turned his head to the right to look at Marlene. "Let's get outta here."

"And go where?"

Marlene cocked an eyebrow, a corner of her mouth turning up. "What happened to your sense of adventure?"

James shrugged. He really had no desire to go anywhere with Marlene, but the appeal of an adventure called to him, the need to go somewhere, anywhere. He nodded, and they started walking around the school to the student lot.

"Got your keys?" He pulled them from his pocket and jingled them. "Good."

They piled into his car, and soon enough were down the road and away from Hogwarts. Neither of them spoke, just listened to some classic rock on the radio. James was not in the mood to drive for an extended period of time, so he made the decision to pull off towards the drive-in theatre.

The drive-in was located in the middle of an empty clearing surrounded by a perimeter of trees. There were four lots with four different movies playing. A small booth at the entrance sold tickets and directed you where to go. Just beyond the booth was the snack shack, the smell of popcorn filling the air. James paid for the tickets, some superhero movie or other, and pulled into lot 3.

He turned the radio to the station that was playing the movie, and the pair sat and watched for a while. About halfway through, Marlene reached over and turned down the sound. "What are you doing?" James asked.

"What are _you_ doing?" Marlene retorted.

James rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's cute Mar. You could be the next Dr. Phil."

Marlene leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm serious James. What are you doing? Why are you letting Lily get away?"

James mimicked Marlene's pose. "Why do you care?"

"Because I care about you, fucktard. I wish I didn't, but I do. So now I'm trying to figure out why you're not fighting for her."

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

"What? That I'm no good for her? That I keep fucking up? That no matter what I say or do or promise her, I somehow always seem to manage to hurt her?"

Marlene nodded. "Those things are all true, but the thing you really need to acknowledge is why you do all these things."

James slumped down in his seat. "I don't know why. Maybe I'm a self-sadist."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "I'd like a non-bullshit response please."

"I don't fucking know, Mar. Why don't you tell me."

Marlene sat up straight. "Because you're scared."

"I'm scared?"

She nodded. "Of a redhead who's maybe a meter and a half tall? Sure, Mar."

"You are," Marlene pressed. "Wanna know why?" He didn't respond, but she wasn't expecting an answer. "Because you know she has the potential to break your heart. So you break her's first."

"Or maybe things don't work out between us because we're just too different," James retorted.

"Nope. You're scared, and she's an idealist."

James furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"It doesn't matter. We're focusing on you." Marlene turned in her seat so she was facing him.

"I don't want to talk about this, Mar. And anyways, it's not any of your business."

"Well, I'm making it my business. Do you know why you're afraid of Lily breaking your heart?"

"No."

"Because of us."

There was a heavy pause as James whipped around to face Marlene. Marlene and James had never discussed their relationship before, what had gone wrong, or why things ended. They both knew what had happened, so James always assumed there was no need for a serious heart-to-heart. "What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.

"Come on, James. We may have deluded ourselves into thinking our relationship was just sex and drinking, but we both know it was more than that."

They stared at each other, memories of past laughs and tender moments passing through each of their brains. Marlene looked away first, a faint blush on her cheeks. "I know you know I loved you."

"Mar, I-"

Marlene shook her head. "No, I know I ruined things. I know that I destroyed any chance for us with… well, with everything that happened."

James sighed heavily, his hand going to his hair. "It wasn't just you, Mar. It was a whole mess. We couldn't have continued things the way they were even if we wanted to. I just… you really scared me that day."

Marlene nodded. "I scared myself."

"Then why did you go and take Lestrange to the dance? That might've been the stupidest thing you could've done."

Marlene sighed. "I don't really have a good reason why. I just needed to find someone to take who I knew would piss you and Sirius off the most." She abruptly turned defensive. "What about Sirius taking Bellatrix?"

James rolled his eyes. "He's already heard it from me. The two of you…" James remembered the gossip recently and turned to look at Marlene fully. She seemed to know what he was thinking about and winced. "Speaking of… how…er…. how are things with… _that_?"

Marlene shrugged. "I'm a bit at a loss for what to do," she chuckled sardonically.

James shook his head, laughing with her, and reclined back in his seat. He glanced at the screen, watching as the characters shot lasers at each other. "Look at the pair of us. We've managed to estrange ourselves from the people we actually care about and now neither of us know what to do."

Marlene stared at the screen as well. "Why did you do it? Dance with Bellabitch, I mean."

James kept his eyes on the screen, too ashamed to look at Marlene's face. "Stupid, selfish reasons. All I could think in the moment was that I'd be branded as a fool if I walked out of the contest at that moment. Lil and I could've won it all, and then she got scared and ran off, and all I could do was stand there irritated. I looked around at everyone watching me and thought, 'What will they say tomorrow if I don't win this? That James Potter is whipped. That he'll do whatever some bird says.' and then I was just going along with what Bella was doing."

Marlene shook her head. "You care too much about what they all think."

"You do too."

"No I don't. You don't see me rushing around trying to deny all the pregnancy rumors about me and my baby daddy, Flitwick." She rolled her eyes. "Because I don't care what the rest of them all think. They're gonna think what they want about us and that's that. I'm more concerned about what you and Sirius and my friends think."

"Well clearly I'm not as enlightened," James said bitterly. "She forgives me for the crap I pulled at the beginning of the year, we make a start, and now we're apart. I feel like there's nothing left for me."

"Well, if it's any consolation, she seems pretty miserable without you."

_It's not._ "Since when do you care how Lily feels? You've been giving her crap all year."

Marlene turned her head to look at James. She poked him in the arm until he finally gave in and turned to look at her. "Do you wanna know why I've been giving her such a hard time?" James nodded. "Because I thought I was still in love with you." James's eyes widened, but Marlene didn't give him time to process her words. "I've been so jealous of her because I always thought we had this great thing for us, and we were good together to an extent, but when I see the way you look at her… well, it made me question everything about us. But I've had time to think about us and you guys, and honestly, you and Lily have something no one can touch. You guys have real, true love, and I know that sounds so Disney and cheesy, but it's true. And I've known this for a while now, since the first moment you guys saw each other again… well before you fucked everything up the first time."

James tried to dissect Marlene's words. "So… you tormented Lily because I was in love with her and you thought you loved me?"

Marlene smirked. "I was jealous of what you and Lily had. You never loved me the way you love her."

James wanted to deny Marlene's words, but there was some truth to them. "You know I did care a lot about you? That I still do?"

Marlene nodded. "I've never doubted that you cared about me, but you care about me in the way you care about Sirius, like I'm your sister. When we were together that affection just got mixed and confused with lust and booze. And I've realized it's the same with me. I was more jealous of what you and Lily have, and I guess I just took that as me still being in love with you."

"What about you and Sirius?"

Marlene looked away. "I think I've fucked that up too much."

James looked back at the screen. Two of the characters were embracing, arms wrapped tightly around one another as they whispered intimately. "I think if Lily can forgive me the first time, Sirius can forgive you."

"But Sirius is not like Lily. You know he doesn't forgive as easily. Plus now with this whole… and I told him it wasn't his."

"Is it?"

"I haven't slept with anyone aside from Sirius in months," Marlene confessed. "But he just made it seem like he regretted everything about us. Said he "doesn't run away from his mistakes" and that hurt, knowing he thinks we were a mistake."

"I don't think he meant it that way Mar," James replied. "You know Padfoot's not exactly the eloquent, sensitive type. He probably just said the first thing that came into his mind." He paused. "He misses you."

"He shouldn't. I'm no good for him," she sighed.

"And I'm no good for Lily."

They sat in silence, watching the final battle take place on the screen. "I think you should fight for her," Marlene spoke up.

"I know she's not going to forgive me."

"You've barely even fought for her. I know she's been avoiding you and you think you're honoring her wishes or whatever, but you're not doing either of you any good by listening to her. Fight for her, dammit!"

"I'll fight for Lily if you fight for Sirius."

Marlene didn't respond, simply watched as a big spaceship blew up onscreen. James stared at her face, at the colors reflected off her skin. It had been so long since James and Marlene had been able to sit and talk to one another without hostility, but he had missed this. Marlene had always been observant, and he was slightly unnerved at how well she seemed to know his heart. But then again, he supposed he had been wearing it on his sleeve as of late.

"We could do it together," Marlene said softly. She turned and looked at him, her expression softer and more open than it had been in a while.

James nodded. "I fight for Lily and you'll be honest with Sirius."

The credit rolled across the screen and people began pulling out of the lot. Neither James nor Marlene moved to turn on the engine. The looked at each other, mirror reflections of nerves and uncertainty, yet the thankful security of having someone by their side. "Okay," James spoke first.

Marlene let out a long breath. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> So I just want to say that I recognize I was kind of vague with the passing of time in this chapter. I apologize for that. I realize that some people may also think that Lily isolating herself for months might seem really dramatic, but 1. James has broken her heart and betrayed her trust twice, and she has to face him everyday, so she's not really being given a chance to mourn things and properly move on, so she's doing that in the only way she can, and 2. It just helps my plot line if the fight/ challenge happens in the spring. Imagine drag racing in the winter? I mean, it's dangerous enough as it is, but add in icy roads and it's guaranteed death, and we don't want that do we?
> 
> Also, I know Snape's suddenly asking Lily on a date and then getting super upset when she turns him down seems really unexpected and random, but I picture Snape as being obsessive when it comes to Lily, but quietly so. He doesn't really know her outside of class, but he likes the snippet he does see and that's enough for him to form this obsessive love/lust for her. It's similar to how Lily was always dreaming about Summer James, even though that was only one side of him. Same idea with Snape, but in an unhealthy, all-consuming kind of way.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Only a few left!
> 
> xoxo Evie


	10. Chapter IX: There Are Worse Things I Could Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.
> 
> A/N: the {j} just means time has passed, but POV is still the same.

_IX. There Are Worse Things I Could Do_

_"I don't steal and I don't lie_

_But I can feel and I can cry_

_A fact I'll bet you never knew_

_But to cry in front of you_

_That's the worst thing I could do"_

Lily was a nervous wreck. As the week came to a close and Sunday approached, she felt as if she was going to pass out every time someone mentioned the race. She could barely sleep at night for dreams of James getting into some terrible accident, falling into a coma and her never seeing those beautiful hazel eyes, or hearing his warm laugh again. She didn't want to be so concerned for him, yet she couldn't seem to help herself.

She was sitting in the library late Saturday night staring out the floor to ceiling windows at the grounds. She had a good view of the playing fields, and, specifically, the bleachers. She could just make out the darker outlines of a group of five boys against the dark sky. They appeared to being having a team meeting, probably discussing a plan for tomorrow, the faint red glow of cigarettes making their presence known.

Lily sighed. She had a deep yearning to go and tell James to drop out of the race… hell to tell all five of them to stop being idiots and to forget about this. Their lives were more important than their pride.

She gave up on any pretense of being able to do her homework and got up from her table. She walked slowly down the halls, not in a rush to get back to the dormitory. Walking down the corridor was like walking down memory lane: she passed alcoves James had pulled her into, passed the window seat she had run to and sobbed in after the dance. She had not expected to have such a tumultuous time at Hogwarts; she had simply expected to attend one of the best boarding schools in the country, leaving with good grades and recommendation letters to get her into the best universities. But she was coming to realize that her life never really went the way she expected it to.

She walked past the dining hall and a group of fifth years exited in front of her. She recognized a head of curly hair as the girl who James had shagged in a broom closet so long ago, Georgia. She could hear the girl telling her friends one of the many versions of the outlandish rumors going around about Marlene. Lily felt her jaw tighten as her frustration rose up at the indecency of some people. As chance would have it, Marlene stepped from a classroom just to the left of where the girls were passing. "That's the one I've been telling you about," Georgia said to her friends in a conspiratorial tone, though the volume of her voice made it clear she intended for Marlene to hear her. "She doesn't even know whose it is!" Georgia's friends all giggled and Lily felt her blood boil.

Before she could think about her actions, she shouted, "Hey Georgia! Why don't you shut your trap and not talk about shit you know nothing about?"

The blonde stopped abruptly and spun around to look at Lily. She cocked an eyebrow and glanced theatrically at her friends. "Well, well, well, look at Lily Evans, sticking up for the school tramp. I thought you were a 'good girl'. Isn't that why James dumped you?" She batted her heavily mascaraed eyelashes in an innocent style.

Lily crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to let the fifth year's petty words hurt her. "Maybe I am a 'good girl' and maybe that is one of the reasons why James and I ended things, but I think it's more important to be kind and to make sure you're informed about a situation before you go and spread false rumors."

Georgia's mouth turned up in a cruel smile. "I'd rather just spread false rumors."

Lily smirked back. "I must say, Georgia, I thought better of you. I mean, you mocking Marlene is kind of the pot calling the kettle black, wouldn't you say?"

"What do you mean?" Georgia kept the cruel smirk on her face but Lily saw panic in the younger girl's eyes.

"Oh, just that I overheard you telling your friends about a certain… shall we call it _rendezvous,_ in a broom closet earlier this year. And yet, I haven't heard anything about you dating anyone… so I guess this means, you're a tramp too."

Georgia's eyes went big and her cheeks turned a violent red. All her friends turned to stare at the blonde who was sputtering for a response. Lily could see Marlene standing in the doorway, looking mildly impressed. "I-I…. You…" Georgia gasped and turned to her friends. "Did you hear what she just said to me?" Her friends all nodded sympathetically, muttering about who Lily could possibly think she was and what a bitch she was. "I mean, at least _I_ wasn't dumped on live television." Lily could still hear the girl ranting as she disappeared down the hall. Lily smirked to herself; she'd been dying to say something to that girl for months.

"I don't need anybody to fight my battles for me," Marlene suddenly spoke up. Lily winced, ready to get reamed out, but Marlene was smiling. "But I gotta admit, that was a good one."

"She had it coming," Lily replied, glaring after the fifth year.

"Yeah, and you were the one who gave it to her." Marlene crossed her arms over her chest, still smiling and looking at Lily with a kind of respect.

Lily smiled back, but it faded as she thought about what the girls had been talking about. Marlene registered the change in her expression and a cautious look formed on her face. "Look, Mar, I know we're not the closest of friends, but if you need any help…"

"I can take care of myself and… anything else that comes along," Marlene replied caustically. Lily nodded and turned to go. "Wait!" Lily turned back. "I want to talk to you about something."

Lily nodded, continuing down the hall. She didn't fancy having Marlene yelling at her in the middle of the hallway. She waited patiently for Marlene to start speaking. They were just around the corner from their dorm when Marlene finally did speak up. "I told the cameraman to film you."

Lily paused, uncertain she'd heard Marlene correctly. "What?"

"At the dance. I paid a cameraman to make sure you and James got on camera," Marlene said. Lily couldn't tell if Marlene felt guilty or not, her tone and expression were both so carefully neutral.

Lily knew she should probably be pissed, screaming at Marlene and storming away, but Lily was tired. They were in their last month at Hogwarts, their last month before they would be leaving for university. She didn't want to be angry at another person. "Okay. Thanks for telling me," she replied simply.

Marlene could not have looked more shocked than if Lily had declared they were really half-sisters. "You.. you're not angry?"

Lily shrugged. "I'm not happy about what you did, but I don't have enough energy to be truly angry. I guess I really just want to know why you've always disliked me so much."

Marlene sighed and shifted to lean against the wall next to their dorm. Lily was hit with a sudden memory of James leaning against the same wall, grinning down at Lily was he announced she was too nice. She tried to shake off the memory, focusing solely on Marlene. "It's so stupid and petty sounding when I say it out loud, but I've never really disliked you, Lily. I was just jealous."

Lily nodded, unsurprised. "You felt like I had stolen James from you."

Marlene flushed slightly, causing Lily to pause. She'd never seen Marlene look even the littlest bit embarrassed before; in a way it made her seem more human. "Like I said, I'm not proud of the way I've acted. I acted like that blonde bitch." Marlene snorted. "I don't tend to get jealous of people often."

Lily nodded, unsurprised. "I had no idea you and James dated. He was just someone I happened to meet at the beach, and that was that."

Marlene nodded. "I know, but… James is one of oldest friends and I've never seen him look at or speak about another person the way he does with you. In all the time we were together, he never loved me the way he loves you."

Lily looked away, snorting derisively. "He's got a funny way of expressing his love, if that's truly what he feels."

Marlene smiled patronizingly. "He does love you Lily. James just… he's so scared of ruining things with you, so afraid of things falling apart the way they did with us, that he went and ruined everything trying to protect himself." She considered the redhead. "James isn't the only one to blame for the way things ended though."

Lily glared at Marlene. "Oh really? Was it because I didn't spread my legs fast enough?" she bit, getting defensive quickly.

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Everyone likes to play up the idea that James is this big whore who sleeps with any and every female he meets, but honestly, he's not like that. Don't get me wrong, he likes sex of course, but when it comes to you, he makes exceptions he doesn't usually for others, and if you aren't ready for sex, he'd never push you for it. So, no, it's not because you didn't want to sleep with him, it's because you idealize him."

Lily recoiled. "Idolize him? I don't idolize him!"

"You misunderstand me," Marlene crossed her arms over her chest. "You _ideal_ ize him. You have this James you met from the summer in your head that you keep comparing him to and by doing that, you miss the James in front of you."

Lily winced. Marlene's words sounded like her father's. Lily thought about her date with James, how she had discovered so much about him that she hadn't known previously. She thought over the whole year, how she had seen James in his everyday life, with all his flaws out for her to see. _Am I really putting him into some kind of mold? Am I really comparing him to his summer self?_

A sudden memory hit her. She thought about when James had dragged her into the storeroom at The Three Broomsticks, her words coming back to her.

_"But, if you can find a way to get rid of the mask… I-I would consider giving you a second chance. I'm not promising to wait for you, but if you can find a way to be Summer James all the time, I'd consider it. But until that happens," she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. "Goodbye James."_

"Oh god," she muttered to herself. She was only vaguely aware of Marlene standing there next to her. She brought a hand up to her mouth, unable to believe it. "Fuck."

Marlene lightly tapped Lily's shoulder, like she wanted to comfort Lily somehow but didn't know how. "Don't beat yourself up over it. It happens sometimes. The only thing that really matters is that with everything you've learned about James since then, do you still love him?"

Lily's immediate response was yes, but she didn't let herself say the words just yet. She needed to think this over before she spoke up, and luckily, Marlene seemed to be in a patient mood. Lily thought about the James she had met this year, a boy who never had to try too hard on his work to get a good mark; a boy who was fiercely loyal to his friends, even when they did stupid things like get into fights; a boy who had proved to be impulsive at times, yet knew when it was best to keep a cool head. She thought about how she felt when she was with him, how her heart raced, and the soles of her feet tingled. How she could never seem to stop smiling, and how safe she always felt in his arms. Yes, even with everything she'd learned about him, Lily still loved him, somehow, someway. "Yes…" Lily started hesitantly. "But I still can't be with him. He's hurt me twice already, and broke his promise not to do it again."

Marlene shrugged. "I'm not saying you have to forgive him, lord knows I wouldn't if I was you, but I just thought you needed to recognize that you can't just love the James you met over the summer; that it's all or nothing."

"What about you and Sirius?" Lily asked.

She thought she heard Marlene mutter something along the lines of "Why does everyone keep bloody asking that?", but in full volume, she replied, "Sirius and I have a different relationship from you and James. We're not in love."

"No," Lily took a step closer to Marlene. "But you still have feelings for each other. Plus, there's the possibility of a baby."

Marlene winced at the word. "Don't say that."

A thought occurred to Lily. "Have you taken a test or gone to a clinic? Like, do you know for certain?"

"Well…" Marlene hesitated a moment. "I skipped a period. I think that's enough proof."

"Not really. A missed period could be caused by a lot of different things. Don't you want to be certain?"

Marlene looked uncomfortable. "To be honest… I've been a bit afraid to find out. What if I really am?"

Lily smiled softly. "But what if you're not?"

Marlene looked into Lily's brilliant eyes. She'd never wanted to admit it, but they truly were beautiful and hypnotic, especially with the caring gleam in them at the moment. Somehow, despite everything Marlene had done to her, Lily was willing to help her. "C'mon," Lily gestured with a head tilt. "Let's go be certain."

Marlene hesitated before following Lily away from their dorm. She was trembling slightly, terrified to find out whether her life was truly about to become even messier than it already was. Lily reached over and grabbed Marlene's hand, squeezing it tightly, silently reassuring that she would be there if Marlene needed her.

* * *

They were sitting out around the bleachers. The air was cool and crisp, but much warmer than it had been in the past months. James and Sirius were passing a cigarette back and forth between them while Remus, Frank, and Peter discussed the coming end of semester. They had all just returned from the garage where they had checked to make certain everything with the bike was in order. Hagrid had given it a look over, and after getting him to promise to come support them, the five of them all went to the Three Broomsticks. Between the two of them, Sirius and James managed to charm Madame Rosemerta into giving them some booze, which they had brought back to their usual spot on the grounds.

James grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a swig. He was trying to monitor how much he and Sirius were drinking, since he didn't want to deal with a hangover in the morning, and Sirius needed to keep a straight head.

James turned to look at Sirius, who was staring distantly up at the castle. His expression was hard to read, and James felt mildly concerned. "Whatcha thinking about?" He nudged Sirius, getting his attention.

Sirius rolled a shoulder, leaning back into the bleachers ever so casually, though the sharp look in his eyes was anything but casual. "Oh, ah, not much. Just thinking."

"Didn't know you did that," James smirked, relaxing a bit when Sirius swatted at him. He paused before asking, "Nervous?"

Sirius scoffed. He took a long drag of the cigarette and James saw his hand shake slightly. "C'mon Padfoot. What's up?"

Sirius glanced at James, as though considering his words. James cocked an eyebrow, daring Sirius to lie to him. "Marlene. I was thinking about Marlene."

James nodded. "Have you talked to her?"

"I've tried, but she refuses to even look at me," Sirius sighed. "I just… even if it's not mine, I still want to be around. Even if it's not my blood, I want to be a… a kind of father figure for this kid. I don't want the kid to grow up like I did, and if Lestrange is its father, you know that's how it'll end up." His eyes were eerie at that moment, the same silver as the moon, and James could see a haunted look in the shadows passing over Sirius's face. James knew Sirius was thinking about his own dead-beat father, and his mother who had blamed Sirius for Orion's absence. Sirius was absentmindedly rubbing his wrist, and James remembered the time Sirius had returned from holiday when they were twelve with a broken wrist. Sirius hadn't said anything, but James had known. That was the last time Sirius stayed at his parents' house.

James hesitated, knowing Sirius could potentially take the suggestion the wrong way, but… "Are you sure you don't want to back out of this? These guys at Thunder Road, they don't play around."

Sirius sat up, glaring at James. He took it just as James had expected. "You mean like punk out? No way!"

James held up his hands in surrender, stealing the cigarette back from Sirius. "Just saying." He took a drag. On his exhale, "Just… be careful out there. I wouldn't want to have to replace you with Peter."

Sirius snorted. "Peter? At least make my replacement Remus, or Frank. Wormtail doesn't have the looks to replace me."

James just grinned, passing Sirius the whiskey bottle. They sat in silence, staring up at the castle. James tried to guess which window was Lily's and wondered if she was asleep or still awake, and if she was awake, if she was looking out the window at him.

"James, we've been friends a long time right?"

James looked up surprised. It was rare that Sirius called him by his real name; James knew this was something serious, but he still couldn't stop from rolling his eyes. "Nah, I'd say it's only been a few months."

Sirius elbowed him. "Well remember that time, when we were twelve, and we snuck out of the castle to go to the drive-in? And that movie we saw about the guy and the duel, and his friend that went along to be his second in case anything happened?"

James stared at Sirius for a moment, but he did remember what his mate was talking about. "Yeah…?"

"Well… I thought you could be my second," Sirius looked away in an almost bashful manner. He was working his hands nervously over the whiskey bottle, unable to sit still. "Ya know… tomorrow… at Thunder Road."

James blinked, his mind slowly registering the words. "You mean you want me to ride with you?"

"No." Sirius shifted uncomfortably.

James contemplated his friend, but he thought he got what Sirius was trying to say. "Pads…. I thought it went without saying that I'm always your second."

Sirius looked up, a smirk on his lips. James grinned back, the two sharing a moment. Someone cleared their throat. "Well, if you two are finished staring lovingly into each other's eyes," Peter drawled. "The rest of us are going to go back. It's getting pretty cold."

An idea sprang to James's mind. He glanced at Sirius out of the corner of his eye. Though he was joking with Peter for giving them a hard time, James could still see that Sirius's mind was on Marlene and the baby. James wondered if there was a way he could help his friend without making Sirius back out of the race. "Before you pussies all go back to your beds, I propose a toast!" He grabbed the bottle of whiskey he and Sirius had been sharing, and gestured for Remus to pick up the other one Rosie had given them. "Cheers to a good race?"

"To mischief?" Peter suggested.

"To hot rides and even hotter birds?" Frank smirked.

"To not dying whilst doing stupid things?" Remus said, though he was smirking in a way that did Sirius proud.

"To making the Death Eaters piss in their pants!" Sirius crowed. The boys all hollered and hooted, taking long drinks from the bottle. Sirius went to pass James the bottle, but James waved him off.

"You keep that one to yourself. I'll take the unopened one," James held up the third bottle. Sirius nodded, taking another long drink of whiskey.

**JJJ**

"Oh my god, my fucking head," Sirius moaned at breakfast the next day. The Marauders and Frank had opted out of eating in the dining hall when Sirius had stepped one foot into the loud room and declared his head felt like it was going to explode.

"That's what you get for drinking an entire bottle of whiskey by yourself," Remus chided, taking an angry bite of hi"That's what you get for drinking an entire bottle of whiskey by yourself," Remus chided, taking an angry bite of his breakfast sandwich. He was bitter that they had to eat outside on the wet bleachers instead of in the dry hall. "I'm surprised your liver is still functioning! Why didn't you monitor his intake last night, Prongs?"

James held up his hands in surrender, but Sirius came to his defense anyways. "Shut up, Moony! If you're going to bitch more than my mother does about my hair length, then I'm exiling you to that tree over there!"

Remus sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, but he shut up, going back to his sandwich.

"Here." James passed Sirius a cup of coffee, which was gratefully accepted. James had to admit, his plan had not been well thought out, and had been totally last minute and highly likely to fail. But James knew his mate. He knew that when Sirius was in a deep thinking type of mood, he tended to need booze to distract himself. James also knew that Sirius drank when he felt like he needed some extra gumption - not that that was often - and the race had had him nervous enough to drive him to drink the rest of what was in the bottle they had been sharing, as well as some of the third bottle.

"At least he's not puking," Peter said helpfully. Remus shot him a look, and he quickly re-immersed himself in his pancakes.

"Just leave him alone," James spoke up. He passed Sirius a breakfast sandwich. "Let him just drink his coffee and eat his sandwich. He'll be less of a whiny bitch if we all just leave him be."

Remus grumbled to himself, but he, Frank, and Peter all listened to James. James turned back to Sirius, who was taking small bites out of his sandwich, and chugging his coffee like it was water in a hot desert. "How're you really feeling?" he asked in an undertone.

Sirius peered up at James, squinting in the dim light from the sun that peeked through the grey clouds. "Honestly, Prongs, like a fucking giant hammered my head in."

James nodded. Just as he had planned. "Just keep drinking the coffee mate." He turned back to his own breakfast, and began eating, despite the knots in his stomach.

They were due to meet the Death Eaters at 10:30 at Thunder Road. After they all finished eating, they piled into James's car and drove to the garage. They met Hagrid there, who was waiting for them, Sirius's bike in the bed of his pick-up truck. They all unloaded from James's car to greet the man-giant. "'Ello fellas! Yer ready to kick some arse, Sirius?"

Sirius winced at Hagrid's booming voice. "Ugh! So loud!" he moaned, cradling his head.

Hagrid turned to Frank. "Wha's wrong with 'im?"

Frank chuckled. "Sirius is a little hungover."

Hagrid stared at Sirius and shook his head. "Ther's no way 'e can race today. 'e can barely open 'is eyes."

Sirius looked up at this statement, and glared. "Hey! I'm in perfect condition to race!"

"Hey Padfoot!" Remus called. He had jumped into the bed of the truck, holding the keys to the bike in his hand. He turned the engine on and revved it. Sirius moaned at the loud noise. "Yeah. No way in hell you can race."

Sirius stared pleadingly at James, silently begging him to take his side. James walked over to Sirius and threw an arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry Padfoot. I'll do it. I _am_ your second."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but James pressed down on his shoulder. "Seriously Padfoot, lemme do this. You're just going to hurt yourself if you race today, and then what will Marlene and the baby do?"

Sirius quelled. He stared at James before nodding. "Yeah… okay."

James glanced over at the rest of the gang. Peter, Frank, and Hagrid looked confused, but determined. Only Remus looked at James in understanding, as if he knew that James had planned for this all along.

Sirius, James, and Remus all drove in James's car to the abandoned road, with Hagrid, Frank, and Peter following behind them in the truck. They arrived just as the Death Eaters did. James glanced around at Thunder Road, memories of previous races running through his brain. It had been a while since he'd been here.

There were more people than just the Death Eaters amassed. James spotted Malfoy's girlfriend, Narcissa, standing with her sister, Bellatrix, just off to the side of the road. Two other females stood with them, girls James assumed to be dating Mulciber and Avery, though how those two ogres got any female attention blew James's mind. Also standing with them was Snape, glaring hatefully as the Marauders pulled up.

On their side of the track was quite the crowd as well. James was surprised to see not only Emmeline, Alice, and Dorcas, but Marlene as well. The four girls all stood around, glaring across the way at Bellatrix. Frank and Peter got out of the truck, directing Hagrid as to where he should place the bike. James parked his car, and tried not to show how nervous as he was. His hands were shaking, and he felt slightly nauseated, but he kept up a calm and focused façade, only revealing his nerves by pulling out a cigarette. The first inhale calmed him immeasurably.

James watched as Marlene walked over to Sirius, the two speaking in low tones. Marlene looked calm and cool, but James could see some concern in the way she bit her lip, a look that disappeared as Sirius explained to her that he wasn't racing. She touched his arm lightly, and gave Sirius a small smile. She glanced over and made eye contact with James, nodding to him for luck. James nodded back. He saw Frank wrap an arm around Alice, Dorcas grab Remus's hand, even Emmeline sticking close to Peter's side. James longed for Lily to be here, offering him some form of reassurance or luck, but he didn't see any red hair anywhere.

He made eye contact with Sirius and Remus, and the trio walked over to meet Rodolphus, Snape, and Malfoy in the center of the road. Malfoy took a look at Sirius's bike and smirked haughtily. "So you guys think you've got a winner there, huh?"

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "That's right. She's like greased lightning."

Malfoy snorted, "Yeah, well it takes more than just a coat of paint to make it at Thunder Road."

James cocked an eyebrow. James knew for a fact Malfoy had never once raced at Thunder Road. "Oh yeah?" he challenged. Malfoy sneered but backed down.

Snape glared murderously, a cruel smile on his face. "You guys aren't thinking about changing your mind, are you?"

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "We're here, aren't we?" he said at the same time Sirius proclaimed, "No way!"

James and Rodolphus glared at each other. "Who's your racer?" James asked, sneaking a peak at Snape. As the challenger, it was typical that he should be the one to race, unless in situations like Sirius's, where the challenged or challenger was unable to drive and a replacement could be picked.

"Me," Rodolphus spoke up.

James turned haughtily to Snape, smirking. "Too chicken?"

Snape's nostrils flared and he stepped forward as though to punch James, but Rodolphus held up a hand to stop him. "Severus isn't ready to race at Thunder Road yet," he said. Jame snuck a peak at Snape, who looked sour at being talked about like he was a child. "And your racer?"

"Me." When Snape once again looked like he was about to speak, James continued. "The challenge was meant for me anyways." They both knew it was true.

Rodolphus nodded. He pulled a toothpick from behind his ear, placed it in the corner of his mouth to gnaw on. "Rules are, there ain't no rules. It's to the second bridge and back, and whoever makes it here first wins."

James nodded. Both trios eyed each other up, sizing their competition. "What are the stakes?" Sirius asked.

"I want a confession," James spoke up.

Everyone turned to look at him like he was crazy, Remus silently asking what he was talking about, though Sirius seemed to realize what was going on after a minute or two. Rodolphus chuckled. "What, practicing to become a priest?"

James pushed on, speaking in a voice loud enough that everyone not in the group of six could hear him. "Last May, a woman was killed in a hit-and-run in a small town near Cokeworth. A witness recognized the Dark Mark on the driver's arm. If I win, I want whoever was the driver to got to the cops and confess."

There was silence, but James had seen Mulciber shift his weight a bit, trying to act casual and innocuous, which he seemed to everyone but James. Rodolphus snorted. "Cokeworth? I've never even heard of that." James knew he was lying.

James raised an eyebrow. "Then you should have no problem agreeing to those stakes. I mean, especially if you have nothing to hide."

Silence. James had just issued a challenge that now Rodolphus could not turn down. If he did, it was as good as admitting that he knew one of his men had actually committed a murder, but if he accepted the stake, then he would be risking one of his men's freedom. James's smirk increased as the seconds ticked on. "I don't see what the big deal is," he baited. "You claim you're all innocent, so what do you have to lose?"

Rodolphus's hands clenched into fists at his sides, but James could see him cracking. "Deal," he said finally, and with finality. James could just make out Mulciber's frightened shock, but he focused only on Rodolphus. "But if we win, we want-"

"We want Lily!" Snape interrupted. Rodolphus turned to glare irritatedly at the greasy-haired boy, while James felt his stomach drop out. He knew he couldn't just outright say no. If he did, Rodolphus would push for this stake all the more, knowing that James would be losing something that was worth more than anything else to him. He needed to be subtle, make it seem like losing Lily wouldn't be a big deal.

"What? No fucking way!" Sirius spoke up before James could say anything. James mentally slapped his hungover best friend. He turned and shot a furious look at Sirius quickly before morphing back into casual nonchalance.

Rodolphus turned back, his interest piqued. "What's this? Who is this girl?"

"Just a girl," James shrugged, trying to shake off the urge to pull out another cigarette. It would be a dead giveaway.

Snape smiled victoriously. "Potter dated her. He took her to the dance."

Rodolphus's expression mirrored Snape's. "Oh, I remember her. She was a fine looking bird. Probably pretty fun to play with too. She's clearly worth something to you."

"She's worth everything to him," Snape said.

"We're not betting a girl," Remus interrupted. "Ask for anything else, but not that. We're not human traffickers."

Malfoy spoke up. "Why not bet her? You're betting one of ours' freedom."

James smirked. "Thank you for that, Lucius. You just confirmed that one of you is guilty."

Rodolphus glared at Malfoy, and James could see Mulciber cracking his knuckles. "Nevertheless, that's our stake. Lily," Snape drew the attention back to that matter at hand.

Remus grabbed James's arm, pulling him and Sirius into a private powwow. "James, we can't bet Lily. It's not our place."

"I wasn't planning on it, and if someone hadn't spoken up so quickly, I might have managed that," James glared at Sirius who at least had the courtesy to look sheepish.

"So what do we do?" Sirius asked.

James placed his hands on his hips. "C'mon boys! We don't have all day," Rodolphus taunted.

"What's something the Death Eaters want more than anything? Something that would make Riddle happy?" James asked.

"Power," Sirius replied.

"Exactly. Riddle's already got power, but he wants more public acknowledgment. If he can get enough people to back him, then that makes it harder for the authorities to catch him. The more influence he has, the more immunity. Now, how does one get influence if one is a sketchy mother fucker?"

Remus snapped his fingers. "Money."

James nodded, looking at Sirius. "Which we have loads of. What if we bet them some ridiculously absurd amount. That immediately outshines the offer of Lily. Giving them a large enough amount of money, knowing it will make their master proud, would most likely be enough to take her off their minds."

Remus rubbed the back of his neck. "That's a huge risk, Prongs. What if you lose? You're basically supporting a racist, sexist, bigoted drug lord's rise to power."

James glanced at Sirius. Only if they were in this together would he go through with it. Sirius stared at James, reading him better than any other person could. After a moment or two, he nodded. "I'm with Prongs. We can't bet Lily and this is the only thing that will work."

Remus still looked torn. He glanced over James's shoulder, his eyes landing on something. Whatever it was seemed to make up his mind. "Okay."

"And Moony," James said as they straightened out. "I won't lose."

…

Lily stood at the outskirts of the group amassed around the bikes. Marlene stood beside her, the pair watching as Sirius, Remus, and James discussed the stakes of the race with the Death Eaters. Lily had seen Rodolphus before, and while she had thought he looked intimidating then, seeing him with all of his gang members made him seem even more intimidating now. She could see Snape standing by his side, sneering at the Marauders, and Lily felt her heart drop. Though she had seen his Dark Mark, a part of her had refused to believe it. Now she could no longer deny the fact that Severus had chosen his side.

The boys were still negotiating, the Marauders having just come out of their conference. Lily had arrived just as Remus pulled James aside, Marlene explaining that the two gangs were betting something to race for. They spoke with the Death Eaters, and after a few minutes, Rodolphus, with a greedy look on his face, shook James's hand. For his part, James looked stoic and determined. Lily felt her heart rate spike as James walked over to where Frank and Peter were standing besides the human giant she assumed at the infamous Hagrid.

Emmeline made a disgusted sound. Lily glanced over to see her, Alice, and Dorcas staring across the way. Lily followed their gaze and saw Bellatrix in the middle of a disgustingly graphic snogging session with Rodolphus. "What did she give him?" Dorcas asked, looking traumatized by the kissing.

Emmeline stood proud and tall, looking like a regal queen sneering at her lowly subjects. "A lock of hair, from her _chest._ "

Alice snorted her laughter and Marlene smirked. Lily glanced over at James. He was straddling the bike, his jacket tossed aside so he was only in a white t-shirt and jeans. Sirius was gesturing around the bike as James tested the brakes and revved the engine. Hagrid stood nearby holding a helmet. Lily felt her nerves explode, and she started moving before she could think things through.

…

"James!"

James looked up at the sound of his name, the voice sounding too familiar. Sirius glanced away from where he had been informing James about the slight drift in the back wheel, so James knew he wasn't imagining things. Lily pushed her way through the group, running towards him with a scared look on her face.

"James!"

"Lily?"

She stopped in front of him, grabbing his hand on the handlebar. "Don't do this!"

"Lily? What are you doing here?" James stood up, swinging his legs over the bike so he was stand in front of her. She was clinging to his hand so tightly, like she was afraid he'd rip it away.

"Don't do this! You're being so stupid! You don't always need to do things because they expect you to, because it makes you look cool."

James's amazement at her appearance faded as he registered what she was asking of him. "Ah.. Lil…."

"No! Don't do this!" she begged.

He reached a hand up and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. It seemed to shock her a bit, calming down her minimally. He rested his hand on her cheek, looking down into her eyes. They were still as beautiful and shocking as when he had first laid eyes upon her. He had this urge to listen to Lily's words, to take her hand and pull her away from everything and everyone, and go somewhere where it was just the two of them. He hesitated for a short second before leaning his forehead against hers. "I'm not doing this out of pride or because I think they want me to. I'm doing this for a friend." _For you._

"James, _please_."

"I'm sorry, Lil. I have to."

She pulled away, looking frustrated and hurt. James wanted to scream. _Can I never do anything right by her?_ But he was standing firm in his decision. He couldn't pull out now. He sighed, swinging his leg back over the bike and sitting down. "Hagrid, helmet please."

He felt the plastic of the visor in his hand. "Thank-"

He was interrupted by soft lips on his own. Lily kissed him firmly and fiercely, pulling away quickly. "If you die, I'll never forgive you," she hissed, shoving his helmet into his hand. She turned away from him, pushing back through the crowd of people. James stared after her, his lips still warm from Lily's. He took a moment to compose himself, clearing his head of the feel of Lily's soft cheek beneath his hand, and focused everything on the race. He could not afford to lose… literally.

He slipped the helmet over her messy hair and glanced at Sirius. Sirius nodded to him so James turned on the engine. He rode the short distance to the starting point. Rodolphus sat next to him on a huge bike with a skull, a snake crawling from its mouth, painted on it. "I see the lovely Lily showed up to wish you luck." Rodolphus taunted as James slid the visor in place. "She's a hot little number. Too bad you talked us out of that deal. She looks like a good time."

James ignored him, focusing everything on the race. He had helped Sirius build this bike, he knew it from piston to wheel to paint job. He knew this track, and he knew how to win this. He would not lose.

Bellatrix walked out into the middle of the track, standing between the pair. She unwound a scarf wrapped around her neck, and lifted it into the air. She glanced at James and smiled. "Nervous, Jamesy baby?" He ignored her, focusing only on the beams of the second bridge in the distance. "Too bad I only stick to winners. We used to have a good time together."

"Shut up and let's start this already," Rodolphus barked. Bella pouted, her eyes landing dangerously on her new boyfriend, but she shut up.

She backed up slightly, still holding the scarf in the air. Her lips curled into a smirk as she threw her arms down and then back up, signaling the start. James took off, focusing only on the bridge. It loomed closer and closer, and he leaned forward to try and go faster. From the corner of his eye, he saw Rodolphus edge closer to him. It was a fear tactic, Rodolphus trying to trick James into thinking the Death Eater would crash into his bike. James ignored him, knowing giving into such immature tricks would just throw him off his course and slow him down.

They came to the second bridge and James stuck out his leg to help himself turn. Rodolphus overshot the bridge some, and had to make a wider loop to turn around, giving James a few extra seconds' head start. James revved the engine, pushing the bike faster. He could feel the strain on the engine, but he had confidence he could make it before anything happened. _Just a few meters more, come on baby, come on._

…

Lily felt like she was going to puke, she was so nervous. Everyone around her had a similar look on their face. Emmeline and Marlene were clinging to each other, looking as if they were supporting one another. Frank had his arms wrapped tightly around Alice, who was tapping her foot anxiously. Peter stood by Hagrid's side, making noises as he reacted to each maneuver both riders took. Hagrid stood silent and imposing, and Lily thought he might be praying. Remus looked calm, like he always did, but Lily also noticed he was chewing the inside of his cheek. Sirius was a mess, pacing and running around and making sounds of outrage when Rodolphus tried to psyche James out.

Lily, for her part, could only twist the hem of her sun dress anxiously. She watched as the two boys reached the second bridge and turned around. James had the lead, but Rodolphus was gaining. Lily couldn't see James's face, but she could imagine his expression of total concentration. She sent up a prayer to every and all gods to keep him safe. _Come on James. Come onnnnnn…_

…

James was starting to feel the drag on the back wheel. It was trying to tug him to the left, but he fought it, staying on course. He saw Rodolphus gaining on him in the side mirror. The Death Eater pulled up next to him and kicked out a leg. James was not expecting it, and jerked the wheel slightly, the bike wobbling beneath him. He quickly straightened out, and pushed it faster. Rodolphus struck out again, trying to grab James's handlebar. James moved just out of his reach noting smugly that the Death Eater's cheating tactics were slowing him down.

They were coming up to the starting point, and James could see his friends screaming at the top of their lungs, Sirius running around like an idiot. He pushed himself faster.

He felt the drag again, but this time he used it to his advantage. As Rodolphus swung out again, he let the bike pull him to the left, successfully bringing himself close enough to Rodolphus that he psyched the other boy into thinking he would hit his tire. Rodolphus pulled back, giving James enough open space to accelerate. James pushed the bike as fast as it could go, leaned forward, and sailed past Bellatrix, who marked the finish line.

He gradually slowed down, the roaring in his ear drowning out the roars of celebration from his friends. He spotted the Death Eaters first. They all looked ready to murder someone, Mulciber looking like he'd just pissed himself. James glanced over his shoulder and saw Rodolphus a ways back. He'd drive himself into a ditch when he had swerved to avoid James, and his bike was steaming as he threw his helmet and screamed in rage.

His friends were making quite the racquet. They sprinted at him, surrounding him and screaming at the top of their lungs. Sirius jumped on top of James, laughing and leading a chant. James grinned, feeling smug. He looked around at the group surrounding him and he felt his heart drop a bit as he noticed one person in particular missing.

"Where's Lily?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes:
> 
> Hey guys! One more chapter and the epilogue left! I can't believe I'm about to finish my first multi-chap! I'm so stoked.
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to just discuss a few things, as usual I know:
> 
> 1\. Lily and Marlene's makeup: So, I know it probably seems like such bullshit and maybe a bit unbelievable that Lily could forgive Marlene so easily. Now, normally, I feel like Lily would have been pissed and maybe yelled at Marlene, but I also feel like Lily forgives easily. Like she holds a grudge for a while, but she is unable to stay truly angry with people for an extended amount of time. Now, James is different because he has hurt her twice, so she's more on guard with him, and more hurt than just angry. With Marlene, she's just been really petty, but she hasn't done anything that's hurt Lily the way James hurt her. Sure, she's part of the reason why James and Lily broke up the second time, but that was still mostly on James because it was his decision and his actions that forced the break-up, even if Marlene helped push him to that point.
> 
> 2\. The stakes: They probably seemed ridiculous and I totally agree, but A. this is a work of fiction, and B. James needed to bet something that was just as precious as Mulciber's freedom. It needed to be as large, and as big of a risk as jail time, and it couldn't be Lily, so a lot of money was the best way to do things.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter because the race was so much fun to write. If you have a hard time visualizing the race in your head, check out the 1978 movie to get an idea of what happens. It's on Netflix, and they use actual cars and drivers, instead of the greenscreen in the Grease Live! version. Just pretend they're on bikes, and that it's James and Rodolphus instead of Danny and Craterface.
> 
> xoxo Evie


	11. Chapter X: We Go Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.

X. We Go Together

_"We're for each other_

_Like a wop ba-ba lu-bop and wop bam boom_

_Just like my brother is_

_Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na yippity dip de doom_

_Chang chang chanitty chang sha-bop_

_We'll always be together_

_Wha oooh, yeah!"_

The breeze lightly blew through her hair as she sat underneath the willow tree. It was an old tree, with limbs twisted so it looked like it was taking a swing at you. The students called it the Whomping Willow, and some of the first years were afraid to go near it due to rumors the elder students had spread about it coming to life on the full moon. Lily liked sitting by the tree though. It's draping leaves offered a great deal of shade, and it was the perfect hiding spot.

Lily pulled her knees to her chest, setting down _The Tenant of Wildfell Hall_. She'd been gradually making her way through the book set James had bought for her. She'd been reluctant for the first couple of months to even touch the books, though she'd brought them with her to Hogwarts. Finally, the call of tales to be read and adventures to experience was far too great and she gave in. They were beautiful editions, the kind people usually kept on a shelf to look pretty, but never opened, and she had a feeling they had been expensive.

She leaned back against the trunk of the willow, feeling the bark dig into her lower back and the back of her head. She sighed, closing her eyes as the wind blew through her hair. It had been two weeks since the race at Thunder Road, but Lily had seen little of James. Chemistry was tense with Severus as her partner still. He ignored her during class, not even acknowledging her when she asked him a question, or needed to discuss measurements for an experiment. It was frustrating, to say the least.

Things had stopped being tense with her roommates though. After speaking with Marlene, she had realized she was being rather ridiculous, shutting out Alice and the other girls simply for being associated with James. She'd apologized and they had welcomed her back with open arms.

She had gone with Marlene to a drug store to pick up a pregnancy test. She had no clue whether Marlene had used it or not, but since then things between them had been much better than they had been all year. They were by no means friends, but Marlene treated Lily as one of her gang now, and stopped calling her 'Lilywhite'. Marlene found it hysterical when they walked through the halls together and would pass Georgia, who would duck her head and hurry by, no longer able to sneer at Marlene or look Lily in the eye.

Everything for the end of the year was shaping up nicely. Lily's grades were excellent and she was likely to be top of the class; she had heard back from the universities she had applied to, and had been accepted to all of them so far; and her father had made up with Petunia, and even gotten her to apologize to Lily for blaming her for their mother's death. With everything going so well for her, Lily felt like she should be happier than she was, and yet… she still felt like something was missing.

She had no desire to be one of those girls who desperately needed a man in her life to feel complete, but Lily still felt upset with how things had ended with James. She felt unbalanced, and knew she would never be able to move on until she had talked to James. The problem was how did she do that? She had spent so much time ignoring him, it would seem strange if she just started talking to him now.

_And yet, you had no problem talking to him at Thunder Road. Or kissing him._

Lily flushed at her thoughts. She had not been planning on kissing James; it had been totally in the moment. After he won the race, she'd panicked, knowing he'd take her actions as Lily offering him her forgiveness. But Lily couldn't do that just yet. She needed to hear him at least apologize before he could gain her forgiveness. Even then, she had no clue whether or not she was ready to start up with him again. How could she trust herself with him when he had already hurt her twice?

She shook her head, picked up _The Tenant of Wildfell Hall_ again, and tried to distract herself. She knew she was stalling, as she had been doing for weeks now. She just could not seem to get her mind and heart to reconcile with one another, and she wanted all of her to agree before she made any concrete decisions about James.

She had just settled into her book, just gotten herself immersed in the plot, when her concentration was disturbed.

"Lily."

She yelped, being taken totally by surprise. She clutched a hand to her heart and stared at the person who had disturbed her peace. "James!"

He chuckled, running a hand self-consciously through his hair. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

She let out a breath and shook her head. "It's okay. How'd you find me?"

"Alice."

Lily nodded. She didn't know what to say, and waited quietly for him to go on. James didn't speak for a long while, just standing in the low hanging leaves of the willow, staring out at the lake in the distance. Lily felt uncomfortable just staring at him, so she turned back to her book. She was surprised at how easy she felt in his presence, even with everything that had gone down between them. He still somehow managed to make her feel comfortable and safe.

"So… we should probably talk." James broke the silence finally.

Lily nodded, stuck her bookmark in her novel, and placed it aside. "Yeah. I'd say it's about time."

James chuckled, nodding. He walked over to her spot under the tree and sat down across from her, tapping his fingers against his knees anxiously. Lily waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts, knowing that he had to be the first one to speak.

"I don't really know how to say this. I feel like every time I try, it's not enough, but I am so sorry Lily. I promised you I wouldn't hurt you a second time, and I broke that promise. I don't have an excuse for my actions aside from the fact that I'm a selfish person."

"Except you're not really, James," Lily cut in. "You have your moments when you don't think and you just act, but for the most part, you're not really selfish."

James shifted his weight, looking a bit uncomfortable. "With you, I've been nothing but selfish." There was a heavy silence as they both thought about the dance. He looked over at her, his eyes intense as he spoke his next words. "You unnerve me, Lil."

Lily tilted her head, feeling confused. "What?"

James looked away, a faint blush on his cheeks. "Being with you, even just being around you, it's scary. You're an intimidating person; you're good and kind, and you forgive so easily. You're gorgeous and you don't even know it. You're not afraid to call me out on my shit the way so many other people are. You're not afraid of what other people think."

Lily shook her head. "James-" But he carried on without stopping.

"You have this aura around you that is so warm and inviting, but you also have these expectations you want the people around you to meet, and when they don't, dealing with your disappointment is more than one can bear. And yet, the fact that you're so forgiving means there's usually the opportunity for redemption, but screwing up that second opportunity…"

Lily held up her hand, like she was calming a panicked animal. "James! You're talking over the place. Slow down."

He took a deep breath. "I'm scared of you."

Lily was taken aback. She literally recoiled, like he'd slapped her with his words. She stared at him, her eyes huge saucers. "What?" she cried incredulously.

James shook his head. "That came out wrong. I'm scared of _us_." Lily continued to stare at him blankly, so he elaborated. "I've never been in a relationship like ours before. I mean, yeah, I've dated and been in relationships, but I've never been with someone I'm in love with."

Lily felt the world spin rapidly around her, her stomach clenching and her heart pounding. "What?" she breathed. The conversation had taken so many unexpected turns and twists, and she felt as if she was lost inside a maze, each turn leading her to yet another dead end.

"Marlene helped me figure it out. I mean, I already knew I was in love you with. I think I've been in love with you since the summer, but Marlene was the one to point out to me my behavior. And the funny thing is, she's so right. I'm afraid of just how _much_ I love you and how badly you could potentially hurt me, so I ruined things between us before you had the chance to hurt me. But I now realize you could never really hurt me because that's not who you are. And yet, when I think about Snape, and how he lost your friendship and how much it must have hurt him, well… it scares me even more because while he loved you, he never got to be with you. I have, and I truly know just how much I have to lose."

Lily's head was spinning, and she placed a hand on the ground to steady herself as she tried to dissect James's words. He opened his mouth like he was going to go on, but she held up a hand to stop him. "Just… gimme a moment."

She leaned back into the tree and started from the beginning of his jumbled monologue. First, there was the fact that he had just announced he was in love with her. She had never even thought that could possibly be true. Sure, she'd noticed his slip-ups in speech, and other people had told her as much, but she had never thought the sentiment could actually be true. Her whole body felt warm, like she had spent hours laying out in the sun, just letting its light hit her skin. There was such satisfaction in knowing that her affection was mutual, but also a great deal of confusion. If James had truly been in love with her since the summer, than why was he continually pushing her away?

That brought her to the next point he had made: that he was scared of being together, of being in love with her. There was a brief moment of amusement as she thought about his mentioning that Marlene had been the one to speak to him, but she brushed it aside as unimportant for the moment. He was scared that being with her would mean that she would hurt him. Had she? She assumed it must have hurt him when they parted the first time, and the second time, but both times it had been his doing. He had been the one to push her away when she's been willing to accept him with open arms.

She thought even further to him talking about her expectations for people. It was something her mother used to tease her about: whenever there was a shooting, or a terrorist attack announced in the news and Lily took it personally, her mother would point out that Lily had such high expectations for humanity and was upset that humans kept falling short. And while James certainly had not killed anyone, he had fallen short of her expectations, but he had also scorned her because she didn't fit into his idea of what his image should look like. She thought this tied in with the way she idealized him as well. A part of her was ashamed that she had made James feel like he wasn't good enough for her, which she felt was not true at all, but another part of her was indignant, stating that having expectations for a person and getting upset when they didn't meet them wasn't a bad thing, especially since James had basically done the same to her.

She looked at James, whose hands were twitching at his sides as he fought the need to card them through his hair. "I s'pose I should apologize as well," she said slowly.

His hands stopped twitching. "Why? You haven't done anything wrong."

Lily gnawed on her bottom lip. "I made you feel like she weren't good enough for me. But that's not true James. You are, and no matter how many times you screwed up, you still somehow managed to make me to fall in love with you as well. But I was unfair to you. I kept comparing you to this guy I met over the summer, but I've come to realize that Summer James was really only a small part of who you are. There's so much more to you, and I need to be willing to accept all of you, every little bad bit as much as every little good bit, if I want to be with you."

James was staring at her incredulously, as if he couldn't believe her words. "You love me?"

Lily flushed furiously. She looked down at the grass around her, running her palm over the very tips. "Yes."

They sat there listening to the rustling of the willow's limbs, both of them reeling from the confessions that had just been made. They were quiet for so long, Lily jumped when James started laughing. "Look at the pair of us. So serious. You'd think we're Romeo and Juliet with the way we're talking."

Lily rolled her eyes, a small smile forming on her lips. "It is all rather dramatic."

James nodded, still chuckling. When he had settled down, he looked back over at her. "So, what now?"

Lily took a deep breath, and let it all out slowly. "Honestly, I have no fucking clue. I'm still recovering from you telling me you're scared of me."

James shrugged. "You're intimidating in your own way. Intimidating in your goodness."

Lily flushed yet again. "You make me sound like some kind of fairytale princess. I'm not that good, James. I'm human, just like you and everyone else."

"Sometimes I don't think you are human though. Because you are just so different from everyone else I know. You're more genuine, and more real."

Lily was uncomfortable. She didn't like the way James spoke about her, like she was some kind of deity merely deigning to bestow her presence on the mortals around her. "You need to stop. You're making me uncomfortable with all this talk. I'm not that good James. You viewing me that way doesn't help make things better at all. It just makes matters more messy if you think of me as some perfect person. I'm really, really not."

"But Lily-"

"No. Seriously, stop." Her voice was harder this time, making her seriousness clear.

They lapsed into silence again. Lily knew where all this was headed, but she wasn't ready to discuss that yet. She was enjoying just sitting there with James, enjoying the warm spring weather. She had such a longing to move closer to him, to lean back into his arms, and have him hold her, but she withheld. He had apologized but her mind still felt so mixed up and uncertain with how to proceed.

"Now we have to decide where we go from here, don't we?" James asked.

Lily nodded. "We probably should." She glanced over at James and saw him looking just as reluctant as she felt. "But let's not talk about that yet."

James looked surprised, but he smiled and nodded. They both turned their gazes back to the lake, their backs leaning against the willow, just spending a few moments in peace.

* * *

There was a cacophony of noise echoing off the stone walls of the castle coming from the playing fields. Bells and whistles, bangs and clangs, screams and laughs. The air smelt of a mix of the butteriness of popcorn, the sweetness of cotton candy, ice cream, and zeppoles, and the saltiness of pretzels. It was a beautiful day, a gentle breeze that helped cool down the heat of the sun. There was so many people mashed together in one place that it was hard to make one's way through the crowd.

Marlene smirked down at it all as she swung up above the crowds in a car on the ferris wheel. When Dumbledore had first announced the plan to hold a carnival at the end of the school year, all the underclassmen had been super excited while the upperclassmen had groaned about it. Secretly, all the older students had been just as excited as their younger counterparts, especially for the thrill of getting to be a child one final time before facing the adult world.

Emmeline was giggling besides Marlene, kicking her legs out as she tried to freak Dorcas out by rocking the car. Marlene had to hide a grin as she watched her friends. It had been such a tumultuous month for her, her emotions had been on a major rollercoaster ride, and she was so excited to be able to just lay back and have some fun with her friends.

"Emmeline!" Dorcas was squealing, her eyes clenched shut. "Stop!"

Emmeline laughed, throwing her head back and letting her blonde locks cascade down her back. The whole wheel started turning again, bringing the girls a bit closer to the ground. They stopped about halfway, the whole wheel paused to let other riders on and off. "Don't worry, Dor. We're almost to the ground." Marlene leaned over Emmeline to squeeze Dorcas knee reassuringly.

Her attention was drawn away at the sound of her name.

"Marlene!"

She looked over the edge of the car and saw Sirius running to the exit gate for the ferris wheel. "McKinnon! What the fuck are you doing?"

Marlene felt butterflies take flight in her stomach, and her toes curled in her sandals at the same time her fingers curled around the hand bar. Emmeline and Dorcas stopped bickering and were grinning enthusiastically at Marlene. She ignored them, all her attention on the dark haired boy below her. "Taking a ride on a ferris wheel. What does it look like I'm doing?"

The wheel started moving again, bringing their car to the ground. A carnival worker came over and let them out of the car, the three girls stumbling out. Dorcas and Emmeline linked arms, skipping ahead of Marlene as she walked over to Sirius.

He stepped close to her, hesitating for a short second before bravely wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to him. He didn't move or speak, waiting to see how Marlene would react. When she didn't resist or try to pull away, he smirked. "Shouldn't you be avoiding carnival rides in your condition?"

His hand moved from her waist to her lower stomach. Marlene caught his wrist in hers and pulled his hand away from her stomach. "It's not something I need to worry about," she said, trying to fight back a grin.

Sirius's brows furrowed, so Marlene clarified. "I'm not pregnant."

"What?" Sirius's eyes were huge, and Marlene felt a kind of affection rise in her. She found his confusion absolutely adorable.

"There's no baby. I was never pregnant." Marlene finally allowed herself to grin, knowing her smile was probably huge and absolutely ridiculous.

Sirius stared at her uncomprehendingly for another moment before laughing uproariously. He tightened his hold on her and picked her up, spinning her around in a circle. She wrapped her arms around his neck, giggling as he cheered and whooped. He placed her back on her feet and placed his mouth against hers. It was a messy, excited kiss, but it still was able to make her heart pick up speed. They pulled apart and stared at each other, both grinning like idiots, and Marlene felt better than she had in a long time.

* * *

James walked around the carnival with Peter and Remus following behind him. They'd been stopping at various booths, playing games and trying to win prizes. They'd just left the booth 'Pie the Professor'. It was probably the most popular booth in the whole festival, especially since the concept was that students were allowed to throw pies at their professors. James had been hoping McGonagall would be one of the professors, but unfortunately, she was in charge of running the booth. She had explained that all the proceeds were going to the professors' retirement fund, so Peter, James, and Remus had each forked over some money to try. Slughorn, Flitwick, and Hooch had been the professors, and none of them had had any food on their faces, all the people prior to the Marauders having missed. James, far too afraid to aim for Hooch, even if she wasn't his coach anymore, had aimed for Slughorn, hitting the robust professor straight on. Slughorn had taken it well, laughing it off and congratulating James on his good arm. Remus and Peter had followed; Remus aimed for Flitwick and hit the man on the chin, while Peter aimed for Slughorn, but went wide and ended up hitting Hooch's cheek instead.

They were now headed for a cotton candy stall, since Peter was having a desperate craving for the pink fluff. While James was enjoying being with his friends, he'd been keeping a constant eye out for Lily, but he had yet to spot her in the crowd.

"Fuck," Remus breathed beside him, drawing James's attention. "Is that Padfoot?"

James followed the direction of Remus's gaze and saw he was pointing at a dark walkway between the ferris wheel and whack-a-mole booth. There stood Sirius, his mouth and body pressed up against a brunette, whose back was pressed up against the booth. This was not so very shocking, as the Marauders had often walked in on Sirius and his dates multiple times. No, the shocking thing was that _Marlene_ was the brunette Sirius was passionately snogging. James grinned, and turned to Remus with a shrug. Ignoring the temptation to burst their moment, the trio walked away and continued roving through the carnival.

They spotted Frank and Alice standing next to the strong man test. Frank was next in line, practicing swings with the mallet, as Alice stood off to the side pointing at a giant stuffed panda, presumably telling Frank she wanted him to win it for her. Next to her stood Lily. James swallowed hard as he took in her appearance; she was wearing black high-waisted shorts, showing off her long legs and shapely arse, and a red off-the-shoulder top, which emphasized her collarbone and shoulders. She was laughing, her head thrown back so her curled hair tumbled over her shoulders.

James felt his pulse pounding as they all walked forward, and he tried to focus on anything but Lily. Dorcas was was currently attempting the challenge. She adjusted her hold on the mallet, swung as hard she could, and a few seconds later, the sound of the bell's ding resounded around the area. Everyone around Dorcas cheered, laughing as she bowed dramatically. She picked her prize, a stuffed wolf doll, and moved aside so Frank could take his turn. She grinned when she noticed Remus, handing him the doll and telling him she won it for him.

Lily looked over and finally noticed him, her cheeks heating as she smiled shyly. His pulse sped up even more and he felt his fingers twitch in his pocket. "Hey," he said softly as he stood next to her.

"Hi," she replied, rocking on her heels. James felt a bit smug knowing he was making her as nervous as she was making him, but he hid it away as best he could.

He leaned closer to her so he could whisper in her ear, "When you've got a chance, I'd like to talk to you privately."

Lily shivered ever so subtly, but nodded, looking at him with curious eyes. She gestured for him to follow her, lightly tapping Alice's arm and informing her that she was going to talk to James for a minute. Alice nodded, watching them suspiciously. Though Lily and James had come to a truce, Alice still made it abundantly clear that she did not trust him, nor particularly liked him. James could not blame her.

He followed Lily over to the very outskirts of the carnival, in an empty area behind the popcorn machine, and waltzer. She walked a little farther before plopping down on the grass, crossing her legs pretzel style. James sat down beside her, stretching his legs out in front of him, and leaning back on his hands. "What's up?" she asked, giving him all of her attention.

James took a breath, uncertain where exactly he should start. _Guess like a plaster, just rip it off._ "I know who killed your mother."

Lily's face instantly became devoid of color, her eyes growing to huge spheres and her mouth falling open as she started hyperventilating. "What?" she gasped.

_Okay… probably should have been more delicate about that…_ He scooted closer to her, hesitantly reaching out a hand, and rubbing his hand up and down her arm. He registered that her skin was so soft, so smooth, so familiar under his palm, but he pushed aside his desire, making himself focus on calming Lily at the moment. "Sorry. I probably should have eased you into that."

She placed a hand against her chest, and James tightened his grip on her arm, trying to be more soothing. "You think?"

He chuckled briefly, and slid closer to her again. It'd been so long since he'd been that close to her, and he could smell her perfume, her shampoo, could feel her body's heat, and it all made him feel dizzy. _Focus._ "Lemme start from the beginning."

He explained to her about the bet that had been placed before the race, leaving out the part where Snape had demanded for Lily to be a prize - while James knew it would be the perfect way to ward her off of the slimy git forever, he couldn't bring himself to hurt Lily in that way - and how he and Sirius had overheard Snape and Malfoy discuss the hit-and-run. Through it all, Lily remained deathly pale, her eyes distant, and her chest still rose and fell at a rapid rate. James tried to be delicate and careful with his wording, whilst also giving her all the facts and information.

When he'd finished, there was a heavy silence while James watched Lily sort through everything. Her breathing had slowed down some, but her face was still pale. She blinked and looked at him, her eyes focusing for the first time in the last twenty minutes. "So you think this Mulciber bloke was the driver who killed my mum?"

James nodded. "I know he was. When I was talking to Lestrange about the accident, Mulciber couldn't have reacted in a more guilty manner, plus Malfoy had practically implicated him when he was talking to Snape. I'm just angry neither Padfoot nor I thought to record them."

Lily tilted her head. "I take it from that that they never went to the police."

James clenched his fist around a clump of grass, ripping out the green spikes and tossing them away defeatedly. "No. We were all too busy celebrating that by the time we turned back, Mulciber had driven away, and Lestrange was refusing to call him back. There'll be repercussions for breaking his beat; no one gets away with not keeping up their end of the bargain at Thunder Road. Plus, Riddle will hear about this and be pissed, so they'll all be punished one way or another, but, unfortunately, Mulciber won't end up in a cell. At least, not yet." He glanced up at Lily, and stared at her, trying to will her into believing what he was saying. "He's an absolute coward and an idiot, and one day, he'll fuck up again and get taken in, and the truth will come out, and he'll go away for a _long_ time."

Lily let out a long breath, and buried her face in her hands. James wasn't sure if she was crying or just trying to gather her thoughts; he thought probably the latter since her shoulders weren't moving and he couldn't hear any sobs. In fact, Lily didn't seem to be moving at all, barely even breathing. She'd gone totally still, just a small, huddled statue of a girl.

He let her have her time, simply leaning all the way back so he was laying on his back, staring up at the sky. It was a gorgeous day, the kind of day people looked back on on the worst of days, just remembering how the wind made the leaves rustle, how the clouds lazily drifted overhead, shifting and changing shape as they went along. It was neither too hot, nor too cool, and the sun shone down happily, embracing and emphasizing the excited atmosphere already surrounding the carnival. James thought if anything could possibly make Lily feel a little better, it was a day like that.

He heard her shift next to him, and he turned his head to see her laying down next to him. Her hair fanned out around her head, blood spilled on grass. He waited patiently for her to say something, staring at her profile and memorizing each dip and curve.

"I'm not really sure what to think."

James didn't respond, just waited for her to go on.

"It's been something I've wanted to know for the past year: who could be so terrible as to hit a woman with their car and just leave, but now I know who it was... and there's no way to get justice. This has to be some great, cosmic joke. A part of me just wants to scream and cry, while another part just wants to take a breath and say 'Well, at least you can sleep at night knowing who it was.' but then another part is yelling, 'Idiot girl! How can you sleep knowing Mulciber is out there and could be putting other people in danger!' It just all makes me want to do something." She turned her head to look at him, her green eyes filled with pain, but also determination. "I want to be able to do something to prevent other people from feeling this way. I want to prevent cowards like Mulciber from getting away scot free. I want to make sure people like Riddle end up in prisons where they cannot influence people or protect their henchmen from anyone. I want to do something!"

She sounded so frustrated, like she was struggling to deal with her thoughts and emotions, and figuring out how to put them into words, how to put them into actions. James reached over, and found her hand lying on the grass next to her hip, and grabbed it. He encased her much smaller hand inside his large one, squeezing tightly. He slowly unwound the small fist she had made. He massaged her palm, easing each of her fingers out, and slid his palm against hers. He laced his fingers through hers, and brought their entwined hands up to his mouth so he could kiss her knuckles.

She stared at their hands curiously and continued speaking. "I'm not sure how to tell my dad or Petunia. _God, Petunia!_ She'll blame me for Mulciber getting away, and Dad will be crushed again. But I can't just _not_ tell them." She thumped her head against the ground, groaning.

James rubbed his thumb soothingly against the inside of her wrist. "You don't need to tell them immediately. You can ease them into it, let your father know first, then the two of you can tell Petunia together. Then the three of you can go to the police and let them know. Sirius and I already left a tip, but it wouldn't hurt to have the information come from the family of the victim as well."

He stared up at the sky. "I get what you mean when you say you wish there was some way you could fight this. Some way to prevent other guys like Mulciber and Riddle from getting away with their crimes. I've been thinking about it more and more, and it's about damn time someone did something about Riddle." He turned his head to look at her. "And then I think, 'Why not us?'. We're the ones who'll be just starting out in the world, which gives us the chance to make a difference. So, why _not_ us?"

Lily shifted next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. She let out an audible sigh, the two of them continuing to stare up at the sky, their minds thinking over all that had happened. "Why not us?" she echoed.

* * *

That was how their friends found them, hands locked together, Lily's head on James's shoulder, the pair staring up at the sky. No one remarked on the strange position of the couple, everyone else just moving to join them. They all laid in one giant circle: Marlene and Sirius to James's left, Emmeline and Peter across from him. Alice and Frank laid to Lily's right, with Dorcas and Remus completing the circle.

Lily marveled on the fact that she had all these people around her. She had never expected to have met and experienced so many ups and downs with these people when she had first arrived at Hogwarts, but she was grateful for them all at that moment.

James felt in a similar fashion, though he was thinking more about how in all his years of living in the castle, he had never felt a closer kinship to his friends than he did in that moment. They all just lay there, like little kids, staring up at the sky.

It was Dorcas who broke the silence first. "I can't believe this is it. I can't believe we're actually done."

Everyone murmured their agreement. "I can still remember Dumbledore's start of the year speech from seven years ago," Peter said. James knew it would be the hardest for Peter to let go and move on from Hogwarts.

"I sure as hell won't miss serving all those detentions with McGonagall," Remus put in.

They all chuckled, and James grinned to himself. "C'mon Moony," he said. "You know you enjoyed them."

They were all silent again, most likely thinking over all their past pranks and adventures. "D'ya think we'll all stay in contact?" Emmeline asked.

James snorted, not even hesitating in his response. "Of course we will."

"You don't just form a seven year relationship and then never speak to one another again," Marlene scoffed.

James felt Lily shift beside him, and he knew she was thinking they'd all forget about her. He squeezed her hand, a silent reassurance that that would not happen.

"I gotta say, it was a pretty great seven years, even with all the shit that's gone down," Alice spoke up. "I wouldn't change a thing, though."

Everyone murmured their agreement. Lily nodded, knowing that even with all the bad things that had happened that past year, she would always hold all the good moments close to her heart. Plus, it was those bad moments that helped create a person, helped mold them into who she or he became in the future.

It was Sirius who eventually broke them all apart. "Enough with this mushy, nostalgic crap. Let's have some fun!"

They all laughed, and slowly got to their feet. Alice hopped on Frank's back, while Dorcas got on Remus's, the two couples racing each other to the teacups ride. Peter and Emmeline followed along, while Sirius and Marlene lagged behind everyone else, hoping to get in some more snogging before going on the rides. James stood up, holding out a hand to help Lily up. He kept a hold of her hand as they walked after their friends. He hoped she wasn't going to try to pull it back, because he had no plans to give it back to her any time soon.

As they made their way across the carnival grounds, he looked up at the castle, outlined against a blue sky. He thought about the beginning of the year, how he had been dying to be done with the castle. He had thought about all the school's flaws, all the negative aspects of Hogwarts, but now, as he looked back at the stone façade, all he saw was his childhood. He didn't want to let go of it, but he knew it was time. He had a life to start, a destiny to make happen.

So he simply nodded to the castle, sending up a silent thanks to the building that had been his home for seven years, and turned his attention back to the little redhead next to him, knowing that he had a new home walking next to him at his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> So, this is the last chapter of Don't Let Go, though I will be posting an epilogue next week. I had a really hard time writing this chapter, and suffered through a few weeks of writer's block. Though it's here and done, I'm not totally happy with it, but honestly, I've written the epilogue and I would like to start on some of my other ideas. So, apologies if it's crap.
> 
> Also, a special thanks to ElizabethAnneSoph who helped me decide that Lily in leather was not exactly something we could picture happening.
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and I'll see you next week with the last last update.
> 
> Xoxo Evie


	12. Epilogue: You're The One That I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Any characters who seem familiar, do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling. Further, I own neither the play nor the movie musical, Grease, so any familiar lines or plot scenes are not mine.

Epilogue: You're the One That I Want

_"I better shape up, 'cause you need a man_

_I need a man who can keep me satisfied_

_I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove_

_You better prove that my faith is justified_

_Are you sure? Yes I'm sure down deep inside"_

She walked along the boardwalk, the wind blowing her hair every which way. She came to a stop next to the railing and closed her eyes, leaning against the damp wood and breathing in the scent of salt and brine. Gulls cried in the skies above, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore combined with the noise of hundreds of voices were all lost in the roar of the wind. She listened to it all, let the beach overwhelm all her senses, and for the first time in a while, she felt at peace.

It had been a year since she'd last been here, but in a way, it felt like no time had passed. The beach had a way of making everything feel still, as though time ended with the never-ending horizon. No matter what happened elsewhere in the world, and in each individual's life, the waves would always crash against the shore, and rocks and shells would always be broken down to create new sand.

The shrill cry of a lifeguard's whistle cut through the air and she felt a small smile form on her lips. Memories of the previous summer shot through her head, images of James on the stand, aviator glasses on and his hair even more crazy with the combination of salt, sand, and wind. So much had changed since that time.

An even louder and sharper sound cut over the lifeguard's whistle: the rumble of an engine. She opened her eyes and turned around to see a shiny red motorcycle idling on the curb behind her, the rider straddling the seat in dark wash jeans and a white t-shirt. He pulled off his helmet to reveal square-rimmed glasses and a smirk.

"Hello."

She bit her lip, trying to fight back a wide grin. "Hi."

"How are you?"

It had been a month since the end of the school year. She hadn't seen James, the Marauders, or any of the girls since the last day. She and Alice texted occasionally, but it felt like Hogwarts had been a lifetime ago. "Pretty good. I see Sirius has lent you his bike."

James grinned, running his hands over the handlebar. "The four of us all worked on it, so it's not really _just_ his." He looked up at her, his hazel eyes bright and twinkling with mischievous excitement. "Felt like going for a ride."

She fiddled with the skirt of her blue sundress. "Well, I hope you have a good ride. It's a beautiful day for it."

James smirked. "Care to join me?"

She hesitated. Things with James had finally been resolved, with the pair of them deciding that time apart was the best thing for them. Too much had happened between them, and she still hadn't been ready to trust him with her heart again. They had both silently acknowledged that there was the possibility of never seeing each other again, but she had always felt in the back of her mind that they would find one another again. It felt fitting that they had found one another where it had all started.

She knew accepting a ride did not mean that they were instantly dating, or that she wanted to start things up again. There didn't have to be any kind of symbolism in her getting on the back, and yet…

James took her hesitation as fear of riding a motorcycle. "Don't worry. I've got a helmet, and I'll drive slowly if that'll make you feel more comfortable."

James grabbed the spare helmet from the small compartment under the seat, and held out the helmet to her. She gnawed on her lip, and considered it. He still managed to make her heart pound in her chest, even while just looking at her with a neutral expression. She flipped her hair and took a step towards him. "I'm not sure," she started, stopping just short of the helmet. "I want to be sure my faith in you is justified."

James's expression changed, his eyes widening as he realized she wasn't talking about his driving skills. He swallowed hard, glancing at her sincerely. "Well, I've been trying to shape up. I'm not sure if I'm there yet, but I think I'm getting better at it."

She reached a tentative finger out, tracing it over the smooth plastic of the helmet. "I want you to be sure." She looked up to see James watching her intensely. "I don't want you to regret anything."

She tilted her head. "Do I need to brace myself for regret?"

James shrugged. "There's never any guarantee, but I'd like to think you don't." He looked away from her for the first time, his shoulders drooped in shame. "I fucked up twice before, but I want to be better." He looked up at her, his eyes intense and serious. "I want to be better for you. I love you, Lil, and I swear to do everything in my power to try to be better for you. But you need to be sure you want this too."

Hearing his words, hearing that he still loved her, she knew it was no longer a matter of being sure. It was a matter of being brave, and taking a risk. She'd taken this risk before and it had been one of the most painful experiences of her life, but every time a person opens their heart she or he runs the risk of getting hurt. Her heart had never truly closed to James, and the way she flushed, the way her toes tingled, the way her stomach became a house for butterflies, she knew her choice was already made.

"I'm sure."

She grabbed the helmet and pulled it over her head, unable to prevent a giggle from escaping as James's grin lit up his whole face. She swung a leg over the side of the bike, perching herself on the seat. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, and buried her face in his neck, kissing the sweet scented skin tenderly. "I love you too."

James reached a hand down, twining his fingers with one of hers and squeezing. "Where to?" he whispered.

There were so many answers she could give, so many places she wanted to go with him. "Wherever, so long as we go there together."

James nudged her head lightly with his, like deer nuzzling one another, and revved the engine. She took one last look at the beach before it all became a blur as James sped away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read this fic. I am so excited, this is the first ever multi chap I've written! A special thanks to ElizabethAnneSoph who read and commented on every chapter, and another thank you to anyone who reviewed, as they were a great help. I hope you all enjoyed this story, and if not, hopefully you'll find something else of mine to enjoy in the future!
> 
> xoxo Evie

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Hey guys! So I was sitting on this story for a long time, debating whether to post it or not. I wanted to get more scenes done before I did, see if I liked it or not, but I've read and re-read this scene a bunch of times, so I went for it.
> 
> I've always loved the movie, Grease - Despite not caring for the way Sandy totally changes who she is for Danny. The music always gets me singing, so it makes up for a disappointing female protagonist - and I was watching it a while ago and just started picturing James and Lily as Danny and Sandy, and Sirius as Kenickie, and here we go! I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> Evie


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